I agree, if he can't kiss, get rid of him. I mean, I think if the guy really just wasn't experienced but seemed like he could learn quickly, I'd be forgiving if the first kiss wasn't all that great.. but this is not terribly common once you're out of your teens and into your mid-twenties or so. That said, my ex was the best kisser on the planet and ... let's just say it translated well into other areas. I still miss him.

it's only with my current boyfriend that I've had the courage to ask for things. This isn't because he especially needs to be told, but because I have more confidence now when I'm with him. Before, I just let things happen to me.

My current b/f of 7 years...well, there was a spark at first but definitely not much fireworks. He was 26 and I was 29. See, he was with his ex for 10 years and she was all he knew. And she was very conservative in the bed...her and I are total opposites in every regard..including sex. So some of the things I like he had just an idea about and never really had a chance to polish his technique.



It took some time and gentle communication but my my my is he fine tuned now. I looked at him several times this weekend and was getting turned on but my niece and his step daughter were around. Then I was looking at him yesterday while he was driving with his shirt off and the sun was beating down...and got turned on all over again.



Thinking about it this morning, if I hadn't communicated with him and been patient we probably would have been at that near beginning stage of our sexual relationship still (if we would have stayed together at all). If things were that way now, I doubt that I would be able to look at him the way I did this weekend and get hot. Great sex begins in your mind before it happens with your body. I gave him the best massage last night with cocoa butter oil and he returned the favor.



But here's something to know. Neither one of us like tongue kissing that much. I really never got into it and neither did he. Lucky that we found eachother. And the fact that we don't tongue kiss much doesn't effect other things in any way.

Well I definately think one can tell when there's chemistry.Of course, chemistry may not be there immediately when you meet someone. It could develop or appear later. Something could just click. Even if he may not touch, kiss or "whatever" exactly the way you like. I find it better to say "I like it when you kiss me like this" and show him or " I like it when you touch me like this" and show him or " I like this" and show him.Being subtle about it, but defintely letting him know what pleases you. Not being mean or embaressing about it, but still letting him know. So he learns what you like, but doesn't feel embaressed about not pleasing you.Making it a kind of a sexy game, not being mean about it. I find nothing wrong with letting others know what you like as long as it's done politely. Everyone enjoys being kissed, touched or whatever differently and the other person doesn't really know what you may like.

I definitely think kissing can be enjoyable even if there's no tongue action involved, but if it's not passionate, then I'd probably be bored and turned off.

Sexy is looking in each others face and watching...don't close your eyes all the time. Just a friendly tip.

Oh, I just wanted to add that I was 18 at the time, too, not 24.

hehe Arti..



Oh man, some guys just DON'T know how to kiss. I was with a guy once and he would not take the hints when I'd push him away whenever he'd shove his tongue down my throat. How is it so hard to understand that you don't try to get as much tongue as possible into someone's mouth!?



He didn't last very long, but that wasn't because of his kissing technique (or lack thereof).

I don't put much stock in immediate chemistry. As long as I am attracted to the person in some way, if not physically, their personality at least. With almost everyone I've gone out with, it has taken me a long time to feel comfortable around them and even longer to start feeling stronger chemistry. As I have stronger and stronger affection, the person magically becomes more and more physically attractive. I guess for me it's more emotional.



I do feel chemistry for some people right off the bat- but these are usually people who have some tremendous sex appeal or charm and usually not people who are appropriate for longer term relationships.



So my overall comment is- if you feel some connection on some level, give it some time.

I have had instances where I'm not immediately attracted to somebody but give it a shot, anyway, like if I thought that they had a nice personality or something, but in the end, if I'm not physically attracted to somebody, I have a problem with maintaining a long-term relationship. I'd rather be single than with someone who I can't be attracted to physically...and mentally, for that matter.

Oh yeah... story of my life...



dangerous bad men = MMMMMMMmmmmmmmmm

unfortunately you end up in tears at some point!



Happily, I recently met up with a pretty cool guy who seems to incorporate enough of the danger in him, yet still seems to be fairly stable and loving. It's early days but my fingers are crossed. (And the sex is goddamn amazing!)

I'm happy for you, Descentia.