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#1 Old 10-09-2009, 03:39 AM
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I love my omni father to bits and I'm a right daddys girl but he gets irritated when I won't have things that are not vegan and it annoys me. Like I'm ill at the moment and he bought some throat lozenges for me and I'm grateful that he cares and all but I checked the ingredients and they contain carmine. I don't want to be sucking on insects! He snapped saying he didn't know medication came into it too. Does anyone else have a problem with their omni parents/family?
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#2 Old 10-09-2009, 06:19 AM
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Many teen vegans and vegetarians have problems with their parents, including me, so trust me when I say you are not alone!



Dealing with parents can be very frustrating, especially if you are a new vegan. Oftentimes, parents cannot understand or even comprehend why in the world their child would ever choose this lifestyle. Some see it as just another one of those phases kids go through; others view it as a rebellion. No matter what side your father takes, I think if you look at your choices through his eyes, it will be easier to understand where he's coming from.



When I chose to go vegan two and a half years ago, my mother was furious. She saw my actions as a revolt against her values, and it has taken me a long time to make her see my veganism differently. She hates what I have done to myself, for she thinks veganism makes me so different from everyone else. She fears that I will miss out on many opportunities as I grow up due to my veganism, and she has a genuine wish for me to return to a "normal" lifestyle. Although I completely disagree with her views, if I consider where she is coming from as a loving parent who only wishes the best for her child, I can see that she truly cares for me. Understanding this has dramatically changed my relationship with her, and I think we've reached an understanding. She now has more respect for my choices and would never knowingly disrespect them, and I have come to be less defensive when she voices her opposition and concerns regarding my vegansim (though we do still have very heated arguments from time to time, but part of that is just part of my family's dynamic- we love to argue).



So, I guess what I am trying to say is look at this from your father's eyes. He may not fully understand what all veganism entails, so give him some time and room to make mistakes and learn. He may think your objections to ingredients like carmine are silly and irritating, but if you're persistent, I think he will come around eventually.
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#3 Old 10-09-2009, 09:13 PM
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My parents totally freaked out when i said i was going vegan. but things have smoothed out a little since then. (Thank goodness!)
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#4 Old 10-09-2009, 09:17 PM
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My parents are okay with me being a veggie. It's just the fact when they want to go out to eat, it gets difficult. We had decided we were going to stop and grab wings and pizza. Shortly after, my Dad decides he wants mexican.. They offered me a Cheese Quasadia(Sorry for spelling.), was so mad. I went home that night and hungry. Only had 3 crackers and pasta that whole day.
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#5 Old 10-10-2009, 06:23 AM
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My Mom tells me to get over "this phase" but respects me for it, my Dad,Brother, and Sister like to tease me about it, and my Grandfather told me "God put certain animals on this planet to eat, but if you don't want to eat them, it's your choice. But get me the fried catfish please." . Its amazing how healthy that omni is for 73 years old...

The rest of my family I talked to either said:

1)"Its good to be kosher...you acknowledge your Jewish roots so good for you."

2) "So what do you just eat... veggies? If you wouldn't eat the bacon, pass me the bacon so I can get your portion."
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#6 Old 10-10-2009, 01:16 PM
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my rents went crazy when i went veg ( i was 11 tho) they diten feed me for months it was horrible but im really hard-headed so finally they gave in they even get me soy now
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#7 Old 10-12-2009, 04:45 PM
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THEN

"I defenatly have problems with my mom :/. She's not vegetarian, and although she knows all the facts, she says it's unhealthy."

Now?

Well, now she's loosened up a lot she might even be trying to go veggie herself, and she has no problem anymore. It took a good few months (I've only been vegan since the end of May), she's gotten used to it. She reads the labels on everything anyways (she's very health conscious) so she doesn't usually buy anything for me that I can't have
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#8 Old 10-12-2009, 11:54 PM
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My dad eats his chicken infront of me and it makes me feel sick by how it sounds, I know it's not his fault but I was gonna puke last night.

He kept going on that I didn't eat absolutely ANYTHING due to my veganism which isn't true, he was offering me corn beef and I stared at him because I've always been vegetarian and his question just seemed really idiotic..I mean really?!
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#9 Old 10-13-2009, 02:14 AM
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My parents were really bad at first but they're alright now. Mum really tries to get the right stuff but she always buys me stuff with eggs or gelatin and stuff in them without thinking (I'm lacto-vegetarian).
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#10 Old 10-13-2009, 02:31 AM
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My parents were really confused by it more than anything. Mum is into some kind of horticulture that 'requires' animals and she's convinced that you can't have an organic farm without chickens. The major issue for her is the fact that I won't eat the eggs from 'our' chickens and the milk from 'our' goat. I just say to her 'Well, you avoid alcohol on principle because you hate the feeling of being really drunk and don't even want to go there, right? It's like that.' because I don't really want to explain to her that I don't think there should be 'ownership' and 'use' involved with animals.



I feel so lucky that this is as far as the issues go nowadays. Back in the day Mum wouldn't even let me be vegetarian because 'i'd stop growing', now she's phasing out animal products that haven't come from our friends at home... so much better. xD
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#11 Old 10-15-2009, 06:41 PM
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When I first became vegan, my parents and I argued all the time about it. They would insist that I wasn't healthy and get angry when I would check ingredients on things. My first month of being a vegan I had more or less no food to eat because they said they didn't know what to buy me (we almost never had fruits or veggies in the house). They would constantly tell me that "milk doesn't hurt the cows" and "chickens are supposed to lay eggs." My mom finally saw an Oprah episode that talked about factory farms, and she got a lot more supportive after that.



They've stopped bothering me and arguing with me about it now, but they still think it's weird. It's just really awkward at family parties because there's never anything for me to eat, and then my mom gets mad at me, like it's my fault.



Every now and then, my mom will still get upset because she says I don't eat anything and there's nothing she can buy. She still doesn't understand the whole keep vegetables in the house thing My dad makes meat for dinner 6 days a week, so I'm still on my own when it comes to eating, although my mom will occasionally cook something vegan.
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#12 Old 10-17-2009, 12:51 PM
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[QUOTE=vegansrock]



Every now and then, my mom will still get upset because she says I don't eat anything and there's nothing she can buy.QUOTE]





That's so stupid. How nasty for you.
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#13 Old 10-19-2009, 02:41 PM
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My mum's a veggie,so I got lucky and she was all for it.

and my dad just goes along with it lol.

My grandparents keep insisting that it's just a phase though,and the vegetarian critizism keeps on coming.
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#14 Old 10-20-2009, 03:10 PM
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My Mum is vegan as well so she's really happy that I went vegan.

My Dad, on the other hand HATES me being vegan. (Which I didn't find out til last night when he called me up to complain about me, my veganism, my political views, ect.) which is a little annoying, but I mainly make my own food when I'm at his place so I don't get what the big deal is? He says veganism is "taking it that one step too far."



Thanks, Dad.
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#15 Old 10-24-2009, 03:24 PM
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When I became vegetarian, I kind of stopped eating with my parents. It used to be that my mother would make dinner, and we'd all sit down at the table and talk about our day. Now my parents get extra time alone after I've made my dinner and have gone into my room. (:



This wasn't really the result of my mother being angry or anything (though the one time I tried to transition to vegan she really got in my face), it's just that my mother continued to prepare meals with meat for her and my stepfather, so I just started making my own stuff and going into my room. It sucked for a while, because all I ate was peanut-butter sandwiches. XD
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#16 Old 10-25-2009, 04:25 AM
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I actually find my parents incredibly supportive towards me - they ask that I buy my own tofu, meat substitutes etc but that's just because the house income isn't very high - but when my ten-year-old brother recently told them he wanted to go veggie, they went apecrazy. It's weird because I was only 13 when I went veggie, so I wasn't that much older than he is. Although I guess he's kind of a pickier eater than I was... Still, I think they should foster his ideals in the way that they did mine.
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#17 Old 11-07-2009, 09:08 AM
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My parents are nice about it. They were a bit concerned when I chose to go veggie first about my health but I researched it and reassured them that I'd still be healthy. My mum never has any problem cooking for me separately but occasionally when she buys something I won't eat by accident she gets frustrated that I won't eat it. Like, there was cheesecake for dessert one night that another veggie was over for dinner. but the other veggie had been living in the Phillipines so she wasn't as strict anymore and she'd eat it, so mum got a bit stressed that I wouldn't. But my sister totally sees where I'm coming from so she took my side. I'm lucky that the sight/smell of meat doesn't bother me since I'm the only veggie in my house..
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#18 Old 11-09-2009, 02:26 PM
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I told my father I was going vegan and he told me I was doing it to be 'rebellious' and it was 'just a phase'... I tried to seriously talk to him about it but he ended up laughing in my face, so I just shut up. At least my parents are willing to buy me soy products and fresh produce; it could definitely be worse. Still, it's obscenely annoying how often everyone in my family keeps offering me meat dishes. They seem to "forget" a lot. -.-
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#19 Old 11-09-2009, 06:51 PM
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I don't have problems with my parents.
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#20 Old 11-20-2009, 02:27 AM
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most of my family is really accepting of my choices.

my dad was vegetarian for four years a long time ago, and recently he'd said something about thinking of giving up meat again. his sister has been veggie for a long,long time. longer than i've been alive.

when i lived with my mom she barely ever bought meat because she knew i hated seeing it. she would keep it in the back of the fridge/freezer when she did have it. andd she always reads the ingredients on packages in the store for me.

my grandparents took my brother and i out for lunch last year when they visited, and my grandmother got a veggieburger with me.

when someone buys me something with something i don't want to eat in it i just ask them not to buy it for me again and to check the ingredients on the package before buying food. i also have all my own stuff in the kitchen. i have my own pans, plates, silverware, cutting board, etc.etc. nobody ever has a problem with it. [:

so yeah, almost my entire family is cool about it. the only one who gives me crap is my brother.
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#21 Old 11-22-2009, 10:08 AM
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All of a sudden my mom started making lots of vegan meals a few weeks ago. She's even considering becoming a vegetarian (for health reasons), and I finally got her to eat tofu



My dad still insists on making meat every night, and he's usually the one who makes dinner. He won't even try any of the vegan stuff my mom makes
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#22 Old 07-02-2012, 10:16 PM
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First my mum didn't like the thought of me going vegetarian, since I was 11 and couldn't cook by myself. My mum doesn't like to cook anything so it was really all about if I could show her that I could do it, and I did! I started cooking things and she said that it was all right then. Dad didn't like the thought at all because one of her siblings had got very sick from going vegan (eating only lettuce...) and he thought that I was doing the same. Now things are fine, they let me be vegetarian and I think that I will have this vegetarian "phase" till I move out and become a vegan, it'll be easier that way.

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#23 Old 07-02-2012, 10:36 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by silverstrawberry View Post

First my mum didn't like the thought of me going vegetarian, since I was 11 and couldn't cook by myself. My mum doesn't like to cook anything so it was really all about if I could show her that I could do it, and I did! I started cooking things and she said that it was all right then. Dad didn't like the thought at all because one of her siblings had got very sick from going vegan (eating only lettuce...) and he thought that I was doing the same. Now things are fine, they let me be vegetarian and I think that I will have this vegetarian "phase" till I move out and become a vegan, it'll be easier that way.

That is so great! Wow, many adults are afraid to cook, and here you were, grabbing the kitchen at eleven! grin.gif:thumbup:
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#24 Old 07-03-2012, 12:14 PM
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Dude(if you are a dude, and not the lovely lady depicted in your avatar, and if you are, sorry, the word's just a colloquialism), you're practically normal! This is hardly a new problem and you'll have no shortage of support here. I myself didn't have to deal with this with my parents (I think they thought it was a phase and by the time they realized it wasn't they'd seen enough not to worry anymore), but the kids at school were another story and sometimes someone's ignorance surprised me, considering they had a mother/father/aunt/brother/whatever who was veg. I'd be known as "smart" and then the day would come for the teachers to feed the class and everyone would find out I'm vegan, which I think kind of scared them because then I was "smart and weird as hell" and I still can't figure out why this guy in AP Chem mistook himself and asked me if peanut butter really wasn't peanuts+butter. The (veg! She was so cool!) teacher laughed at him.

 

I don't know if I can give you very good advice, but your dad doesn't sound like he's maliciously, actively trying to degrade his child. He's a dad, after all, and what you are doing is unfamiliar to the way he was taught to live. Here's a question for everyone here from me, and it's not rhetorical because I really am curious: Has anyone ever been able to sit their parents down and talk things out? ChibiVeggie, I know you've said that watching your dad eat is revolting, but have you ever explicitly told him that he disturbs you by his actions? Have you ever actually explained to him that you have been eating something of nutritional worth for the past X years and "Dad, I've not eaten corned beef in X number of years and I'm not going to have such an uncharacteristic change of heart and start now."? I haven't heard very much about your situation, but it seems your dad is not very well informed on your way of life. Maybe you could try educating him (optimism!).

 

Granted, my family doesn't argue about veg*nism and we still never can work out our issues, so I guess sometimes them's the life.

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#25 Old 07-06-2012, 11:04 PM
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My parrents are pretty supportive most of the time. At first my mom was almost ammused by me going vegan as she thought it was just a phase. Then she got really angry, I'm still not really sure why but anyways I got the whole "but you'll eat fish right!? You have to eat fish!" and "Oh come on you have to eat eggs!" Once she made me a 100% unvegan meal just to see what I would do. In the best interest of not infuriating her I eat most of it (sadly) but I very politely and subtlety made sure she knew I wasn't thrilled about it. Ever since then she's been a lot better and has even bought me almond milk, morning star burgers, and other vegan foods. She still occasionally gets very upset when I won't eat something but she is getting better. I have to make a lot of my own meals but I don't mind at all, being vegan is teaching me how to cook so that's good. And my parents will make me vegan foods sometimes. As for my dad he doesn't really care. He would like if I were vegetarian instead but other than occasionally trying to talk me out of being vegan he's pretty supportive and he knows it's my choice. Basically I can't complain. Although I would like it if my mom wasn't still trying to get me to eat things she knows aren't vegan I realize that it could be a lot worse. I'm actually pretty thankful that my parents aren't too difficult about it and will at least buy me vegan food.

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#26 Old 07-07-2012, 03:21 AM
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I never told my parents for the first few months, since we make our own meals. But they didn't think much of it, life goes on.


“It's no good to put aside your own happiness to bear the sorrow of others.”

 

- Xam'd of the Lost Memories

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#27 Old 07-08-2012, 12:23 AM
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My parents were annoying in the beginning. I was only 12, and they thought I was going through a phase. My mom even asked her sister (my aunt) IN FRONT of me "did Jamie (my cousin) ever go through a vegetarian phase?". She wouldn't tell me if a meal was vegetarian. She would just say "I'm not sure. But you can still eat it, it's already cooked". When I had been vegetarian for about a year, I even caught her in the middle of cooking "vegetarian" tortilla soup; she was pouring two cans of chicken broth in the pot! Her response: "That's how I've always made it!". Like *I* was supposed to know that.

They started to cool down after about 4-5 months. When I was around 14-15 they'd say things like "well our only options for dinner are Taco Bell or Panera Bread. I'm sick of living like this!". Now they don't. They're definitely over it. It only took them 4 years... lol. But now I usually make my own meals or buy my own dinner since I have my own life. We don't really eat dinner together anymore, so it's not a huge deal what I do and don't eat. I could probably go vegan without even telling them. 

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#28 Old 08-06-2012, 08:38 PM
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I don't have much trouble with my parents anymore.

 

When I first went vegetarian when I was around 12, I only stuck with it for about two years before my parents told me to quit.  To be fair, it was because I was young and didn't know how to take care of myself (I was a total pasta-tarian) and they were only looking out for me.

 

They were completely fine with it when I went vegetarian "officially" (by officially I mean the time I was completely going to stick to my guns about it--and have!) when I was older, around 16, and then vegan later on.  My mother has always been supportive as long as I was mindful of what I was eating and if I was taking in all of the nutrients that I needed.  My dad gives me a hard time sometimes when he brings home cheese pizza or cookies or something and tries to get me to have "just a bite" because "it won't kill me".  I'm fully aware that it won't kill me, but that's not the point, is it?  He just doesn't get why I feel the need to do this and I try not to let it get to me too much.

 

Back when I first started they would get annoyed with me sometimes because I was just stuck with side-dishes at family meals...my dad didn't really want to cook something "special" that we could all enjoy every night.  Occasionally he would, but most nights they just wanted steak or something.  This pretty much all cleared up when I was allowed to cook all of my own meals separate from the rest of the family, which seems lonely, but it was actually quite nice.  :)

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#29 Old 09-16-2012, 03:47 AM
 
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When I told them I want to go vegan they first thought it would be "just a difficul phase". They supported my new eating habits even if they still ate omni.

My mum often cooks with oat cream and spelt milk even if my parents can't understand my motivations - they're nearly ovo-lacto-vegetarian and that's even a step in the right direction.

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#30 Old 04-25-2013, 06:29 PM
 
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My parents are fine with it, and don't object at all. However, I've heard my mom say that "I might have problems with the boys (My brother and I) going vegan."  This sucks, because I really want to go vegan. 

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