Son roams free while he eats - VeggieBoards
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#1 Old 11-30-2007, 06:41 AM
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My mom and I recently had a disagreement about the way I feed Ares. She is mad because the only time I use a high chair is when we go out to eat. I own a high chair, but he doesn't like sitting in it at the house. He'll sit in it just fine when we go out to eat, but he likes to crawl around while he eats. I usually sit on the floor and he sits infront of me and I feed him his baby food. After awhile, he starts crawling around, then comes back for a bite.



Right now is a great example of what goes on during feeding time. He is walking around my computer chair, and when ever he wants a bite he walks back over and opens his mouth.



She's also upset that I don't use a bib when he eats. Everytime we go out to eat, I get the whole "Where is the bib?" speech. I really don't have an excuse for the no bib thing. I own three or four large plastic bibs, I just never use them. I've used them a few times, and he just ends up getting them off and spilling the food out of the bib. I usually just put a large t-**** over his clothing while he eats, then remove it when he is done. It's a lot easier than rinsing those huge plastic bibs and his clothes usually stay cleaner using a t-shirt instead of a bib.
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#2 Old 11-30-2007, 07:45 AM
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this is your child, not hers, i assume?



really not much she can do but complain then. its upto you what you do with your kid, and with her input, too- either do what she wants, thank her but say you'll be dong it the way which works best for you, or ask her to keep her knowledge to herself until you ask for her advice. (probably doing so diplomatically would be good).



eta: i don't know if you're setting youself up for trouble getting the kid to sit still to eat when older, but it seems not if it works when you go out. i'd also wonder about all the running about during and just after eating (dinner staying down), but assume there isn't a problem there either.



whats her issue? that you're not doing it 'right?' or that you're not doing it 'her way?' (or are both the same thing, maybe?!).
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#3 Old 11-30-2007, 08:49 AM
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It's great you allow your son to be so free. It seems he's doing just fine. Unfortunately many times mothers SMOTHER.

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#4 Old 11-30-2007, 08:55 AM
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If it works for you and there don't seem to be any adverse effects to him, I don't see any problem. You might have a talk with your mom about keeping her opinions to herself unless you ask for her advice. I know that my mom has to hold her tongue a lot with my brother and sil about what they do with their kids, but she does her best to do just that. As long as you're not hurting your child, she really should respect the fact that you don't do things exactly how she would.
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#5 Old 11-30-2007, 01:58 PM
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i do the exact same thing and i have for all my kids. and ive heard the bib comments thousands of times. they get over it after a while.
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#6 Old 11-30-2007, 02:07 PM
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I guess I'm in the minority here. I think it's best to have a child sit while they eat. Whether it's in a chair or not is less important. I don't think messes are a big deal either, so the dribbling food while crawling around and bib thing isn't much of an issue for me. For me it comes down to the likelihood of a child choking while playing with a mouthful and the absense of a sit-down family time type meal. I'm not claiming your child will be permanently "damaged" by roaming while eating, I just personally prefer to seperate playtime and mealtime.
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#7 Old 11-30-2007, 02:07 PM
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As long as he behaves himself in public I can't see what the problem is.

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#8 Old 11-30-2007, 03:59 PM
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Originally Posted by Jinga View Post

I guess I'm in the minority here. I think it's best to have a child sit while they eat. Whether it's in a chair or not is less important. I don't think messes are a big deal either, so the dribbling food while crawling around and bib thing isn't much of an issue for me. For me it comes down to the likelihood of a child choking while playing with a mouthful and the absense of a sit-down family time type meal. I'm not claiming your child will be permanently "damaged" by roaming while eating, I just personally prefer to seperate playtime and mealtime.



^^^^ Yeah, that. Also, I let my son roam while he ate as a baby, and he would sit in the highchair just fine with no complaints. However, now that he's older, getting him to sit down to eat (he's 4 1/2) is such a CHORE, and usually turns into a battle...everyday!! I've decided to things differently with my little girl. I'm not saying your son will take on the same habit as my son...but you might be setting yourself up for future frustration.

With that said, he's YOUR son. Tell your mom to back off and let YOU be the mother. As for the bib issue...please!! I don't get the hang up! I always took my son's shirt off, or brought a clean shirt to change him into if we were out at a restaurant. Bibs are a PITA!
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#9 Old 11-30-2007, 04:20 PM
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^^^^ Yeah, that. Also, I let my son roam while he ate as a child, and he would sit in the highchair just fine with no complaints. However, now that he's older, getting him to sit down to eat (he's 4 1/2) is such a CHORE, and usually turns into a battle...everyday!! I've decided to things differently with my little girl. I'm not saying your son will take on the same habit as my son...but you might be setting yourself up for future frustration.

With that said, he's YOUR son. Tell your mom to back off and let YOU be the mother. As for the bib issue...please!! I don't get the hang up! I always took my son's shirt off, or brought a clean shirt to change him into if we were out at a restaurant. Bibs are a PITA!



i agree with both jinga and frenchie. i also dont understand why parents would allow this as then they have more to clean up with regard to crumbs/mess in different places of the house and furniture with food on it. no judgement here and it is definitely your choice--not your mothers. i also think that is awesome if he sits nicely in a restaurant.

i think regular mealtimes are important. what happens when the child is in school or daycare and cannot just eat whatever whenever? just something to think about.

good luck!
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#10 Old 11-30-2007, 05:47 PM
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Originally Posted by frenchie View Post

^^^^ Yeah, that. Also, I let my son roam while he ate as a child, and he would sit in the highchair just fine with no complaints. However, now that he's older, getting him to sit down to eat (he's 4 1/2) is such a CHORE, and usually turns into a battle...everyday!! I've decided to things differently with my little girl. I'm not saying your son will take on the same habit as my son...but you might be setting yourself up for future frustration.

With that said, he's YOUR son. Tell your mom to back off and let YOU be the mother. As for the bib issue...please!! I don't get the hang up! I always took my son's shirt off, or brought a clean shirt to change him into if we were out at a restaurant. Bibs are a PITA!



Didn't understand the acronym here, and was picturing a baby with a pita bread half under his chin to catch the food drippings. pretty funny.
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#11 Old 11-30-2007, 07:29 PM
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Hey! Your kid's eating! And you don't have to fight with him about it! You win.

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#12 Old 12-01-2007, 05:33 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fritemare View Post

My mom and I recently had a disagreement about the way I feed Ares. She is mad because the only time I use a high chair is when we go out to eat. I own a high chair, but he doesn't like sitting in it at the house. He'll sit in it just fine when we go out to eat, but he likes to crawl around while he eats. I usually sit on the floor and he sits infront of me and I feed him his baby food. After awhile, he starts crawling around, then comes back for a bite.



Right now is a great example of what goes on during feeding time. He is walking around my computer chair, and when ever he wants a bite he walks back over and opens his mouth.



She's also upset that I don't use a bib when he eats. Everytime we go out to eat, I get the whole "Where is the bib?" speech. I really don't have an excuse for the no bib thing. I own three or four large plastic bibs, I just never use them. I've used them a few times, and he just ends up getting them off and spilling the food out of the bib. I usually just put a large t-**** over his clothing while he eats, then remove it when he is done. It's a lot easier than rinsing those huge plastic bibs and his clothes usually stay cleaner using a t-shirt instead of a bib.



We are exactly the same! When I told my mother-in-law that I found pomegranate in the toy bin her first response was "Why was he walking around with food?"



Don't get me wrong, we use the highchair *for meals*. But when it comes to him snacking on something like popcorn or a few pieces of fruit I let him roam. I want him to sit down for meals because we always eat as a family and I want him to keep that habit. However, I see nothing wrong whatsoever with choosing not to do that OR with doing that with a child who is just snacking.



And we don't use bibs either so don't worry lol
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#13 Old 12-01-2007, 11:31 AM
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I think it has a lot to do with the fact that I'm not doing it her way. Pretty much everytime I do something, it is wrong. The way I am raising him to her is completely wrong. I don't know if she is just being picky because it is her first grand kid or what.



When he came home from the hospital, he slept in the bed with me and my husband. I got the whole "he is never going to want to sleep in his own bed..." speech from her when I let him sleep in the bed. At 9 months old, he sleeps in his own bed. Once he stopped eating so much at night, he went to his own bed. Now, he won't sleep anyplace but his own bed unless he falls asleep on me or my husband while we are watching TV or something. Real pain when we went on vacation.



I really don't like a lot of people picking him up and carrying him off. My mom and sister both have a really bad habbit of just picking Ares up randomly and going outside or to another room. I don't like it. I've told them several times I don't like people passing him around like he's a hot potato, and if he is crawling or playing on the floor leave him be. I don't understand why they need to carry him around constantly. When we went out to eat this morning, the first thing my mom did was pop him out of the high chair and carry him around. He was sitting quietly eating crackers and berries but he just had to come out.



Sorry, I just have to rant about this someplace. I've tried talking to my mom, but she just doesn't listen. Basically, her arguement everytime is "But he's MY grandson!". There is no talking reason to the woman.
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#14 Old 12-01-2007, 11:33 AM
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Don't get me wrong, we use the highchair *for meals*. But when it comes to him snacking on something like popcorn or a few pieces of fruit I let him roam. I want him to sit down for meals because we always eat as a family and I want him to keep that habit. However, I see nothing wrong whatsoever with choosing not to do that OR with doing that with a child who is just snacking.





That's one of the main problems we have with the high chair honestly. We don't sit down as a family and eat. Usually one of us is sitting at the computer desk, one of us sits on the floor with Ares. We've never really sat down and ate dinner at the table unless we are going out. My dinner table has a sewing machine and some cook books sitting on it.
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#15 Old 12-01-2007, 08:08 PM
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Didn't understand the acronym here, and was picturing a baby with a pita bread half under his chin to catch the food drippings. pretty funny.



LMAO!!! Pain In The A$$
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#16 Old 12-01-2007, 08:19 PM
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Sorry, I just have to rant about this someplace. I've tried talking to my mom, but she just doesn't listen. Basically, her arguement everytime is "But he's MY grandson!". There is no talking reason to the woman.



That would be frustrating...however, on the other side of the coin...she could just not care to see him at all. My mom has 2 beautiful grandkids, and she makes NO effort to be a part of their lives. She lives 12 miles from me, and has seen my daughter twice since she was born...and sees my son about 3 times a year. Sounds like your mom just wants to love on her grandson...that's a good thing.

I give my mother in law the freedom to annoy me when it comes to the kids. As long as she doesn't cross the line (haircuts, feeding the kids meat or taking them places without my knowledge or consent) My son gets junk food at Nana's, watches too much TV, plays video games and jumps on the furniture. He knows that Nana's rules don't apply at our home.

I hope you can find some sort of balance with your mom.
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#17 Old 12-03-2007, 04:34 PM
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That's one of the main problems we have with the high chair honestly. We don't sit down as a family and eat. Usually one of us is sitting at the computer desk, one of us sits on the floor with Ares. We've never really sat down and ate dinner at the table unless we are going out. My dinner table has a sewing machine and some cook books sitting on it.



I don't know anything about your family (how much time you have together for example) but personally I find eating meals together vital. We don't see each other often and it's nice to sit down to a meal together. I used to have a sewing machine on my table too lol. But after I removed it, my home life got a lot better. It still astounds me how much different we act if we didn't get to sit down to dinner together the night before - it's like we're just people rather than a family if that makes sense.

When we didn't do meals, we always still say Jacob down in the highchair for meals, even if we fed him in the living room.
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#18 Old 12-07-2007, 07:51 AM
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I think you should raise your child how you want. Just tell your Mom "If I mess him up, I'll have to deal with the consequences, not you." I know you're not going to mess him up, but I think that might make her ease up. As long as you aren't one of those parents who ignores their kid when they're screaming in a place like a restaurant or bookstore, you're doing a good job



And Vegreenmom made a good point. According to studies (came from my Psychology textbook), people feel less satified with their meals when they eat while doing something else. Honestly, some of the only memories I have of my family when I was younger was sitting down for dinner. Once that stopped, my family wasn't as close anymore. Of course, everyone has their own preferences though and I don't want you to feel like I'm forcing this on you. Just an idea



Choking would be my only concern for letting a chld roam while eating, but I think most people have common sense not to feed a child something like hot dog pieces while letting them run free. While it's not a guaranteed choking, sitting while eating them is a choking hazard. Most foods are safe to walk around and eat though.



I don't have children myself, but have 6 nieces and nephews. I was at my sisters house yesterday and she has an (almost) 2 year old daughter, Nadia. She let her sit at her Dora table to eat and she wouldn't sit long enough to take a bite. If your child does eat while wandering, than it's perfectly okay. If he starts to chose playtime over eat-time, then you'll have a problem... which you probably don't need to be told. Your child gets fed = your technique is fine.
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#19 Old 12-09-2007, 07:51 AM
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For the most part, my kids roam around while they eat, and I don't have a problem with it. I sit in the same room with them so we can still socialize while we eat.



Once or twice a week, we make a habit of sitting at the table, just so that the kids are used to having to sit sometimes.



I say if what you are doing works for you, and your kids are actually eating..kudos!
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#20 Old 12-09-2007, 09:42 AM
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We actually sat down at the table as a family last night because my father in-law is in town. It was really weird honestly. I'm so used to feeding Ares while I sit on the floor with him instead of feeding him at his high chair at the table while I eat. Maybe we'll try eating at the table a little more often for family time as he gets older.
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#21 Old 12-09-2007, 10:26 AM
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My daughter was a very pickey eater and had difficulties sitting for a long extended "family meal." We actually nicknamed her "drive by eater". She would come for a bite and be off running and doing her thing. She developed normally and now she is 8 years old has no problem sitting down for the entire meal.



I just strived to have peace and harmony in the home and having an upset, fussing child sitting strapped in a high chair (at home) because its appropriate is absolutely ridiculous to me. The entire family meal is ruined. She really did eat more food if I let her do it her way, she was less pickey about the foods she ate (she wouldn't be focusing on them) and she enjoyed her meal - her way.
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#22 Old 12-09-2007, 10:29 AM
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My daughter was a very pickey eater and had difficulties sitting for a long extended "family meal." We actually nicknamed her "drive by eater". She would come for a bite and be off running and doing her thing. She developed normally and now she is 8 years old has no problem sitting down for the entire meal.



I just strived to have peace and harmony in the home and having an upset, fussing child sitting strapped in a high chair (at home) because its appropriate is absolutely ridiculous to me. The entire family meal is ruined. She really did eat more food if I let her do it her way, she was less pickey about the foods she ate (she wouldn't be focusing on them) and she enjoyed her meal - her way.



That is what we used to call my cousin Jesica! She would run around the dinner table, grab some food, and take off. She is just fine now too. She's 15 now and eats sitting down at the table. I'm a firm believer in letting kids do their own thing when they are young. Everyone does things differently and developes at their own pace.
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#23 Old 12-09-2007, 10:49 AM
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I'm a firm believer in letting kids do their own thing when they are young. Everyone does things differently and developes at their own pace.



ITA!
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#24 Old 12-12-2007, 10:08 PM
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i'm also a believer in letting children "do their thing" within reason, of course! (and, i'm not saying anyone here is being unreasonable. )



i'm big into providing a variety of healthy foods, and letting them eat when hungry. my mother often left healthy snacks out for us all day, and when we were old enough to get into cupboards, fridge, etc--there was only healthy stuff in there anyway, and we could have what we wanted.



sure, she found some old dessicated carrots in the toy boxes or half eaten crackers left around, but overall, she didn't seem to mind.



also, she gave us "sippy cups" with water and tea (tepid) as kids too. sometimes, the tea would have a bit of sweet juice in it, but mostly we drank water. we also had access to milk, etc, and of course, this was the after 18 mo process.
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