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#1 Old 01-16-2015, 09:42 PM
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Raising kids with an omni partner

My boyfriend and I are getting to the point where the discussion of TTC seems less abstract and more like something that's going to come about as soon as we'rd a bit more financially stable. I've been a vegetarian since I was five and about 90% vegan since I was thirteen. While he's open to eating just about anything I put in front of him (other than spinach and broccoli) my boyfriend does still eat meat.

So I was wondering, at what point did you and your S.O. discuss how to feed your kids? Did you stick with it? Are you glad you did (or didn't?) If your kids are older now, what do they have to say on the subject?
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#2 Old 01-16-2015, 09:51 PM
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at what point did you and your S.O. discuss how to feed your kids? Did you stick with it? Are you glad you did (or didn't?) If your kids are older now, what do they have to say on the subject?
I would like to hear this too as this is something that concerns me...
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#3 Old 01-16-2015, 11:59 PM
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I'm divorced so I make decisions by myself in the house. I do regret though that this didn't enlighten me before I had children or when they were much younger as I would love to be raising them vegan...but I don't give up, it's just a start. When I decided to stOp eating meat I explained the reason why in a very simple and tame manner to my children and my daughter said straight away that she never wanted to eat animals anymore and she's now been meat free for 2 months. Later on when I decided to go vegan she seemed a bit disappointed and said she loved milk and cheese too much, so I didn't force her, but have been trying to get her to taste almond milk and soya chocolate milkshake, but so far no success. My son is still an omni outside of the house. I've now stopped buying meat but he sometimes chooses meat options for school dinners. I've been getting PETA correspondence and vegan life magazine and little book of cruelty free and books from the library and they always ask so I see it as an opportunity to tell them more they always seem to like to hear what I have to say on the subject.

A grandma in my daughters class is vegan and her granddaughter stopped eating meat 7 months ago and both parents are omnis. Sometimes children make good choices by themselves just following the example of the loved ones.

Don't know any more vegans but have 3 friends who are vegetarian, all with kids, 2 of them are married to omnis and their kids are omnis...sadly it seems in a mixed marriage the omni always dominates the decisions re kids diet pressing the silly old argument of nutrition, growing body and vitamin deficiency.
The 3rd vegetarian friend also has an omni child, but she's been veg since teen age and never ever bought or cooked meat as an adult, so her son is used to it and never asks, but usually gets meat when eating out or at school

Like mentioned before I regret not to have started this earlier in their lives they wouldn't have known any different by now, but there's still time for more progress and change
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#4 Old 01-17-2015, 12:30 AM
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I'm divorced so I make decisions by myself in the house. I do regret though that this didn't enlighten me before I had children or when they were much younger as I would love to be raising them vegan...but I don't give up, it's just a start. When I decided to stOp eating meat I explained the reason why in a very simple and tame manner to my children and my daughter said straight away that she never wanted to eat animals anymore and she's now been meat free for 2 months. Later on when I decided to go vegan she seemed a bit disappointed and said she loved milk and cheese too much, so I didn't force her, but have been trying to get her to taste almond milk and soya chocolate milkshake, but so far no success. My son is still an omni outside of the house. I've now stopped buying meat but he sometimes chooses meat options for school dinners. I've been getting PETA correspondence and vegan life magazine and little book of cruelty free and books from the library and they always ask so I see it as an opportunity to tell them more they always seem to like to hear what I have to say on the subject.

A grandma in my daughters class is vegan and her granddaughter stopped eating meat 7 months ago and both parents are omnis. Sometimes children make good choices by themselves just following the example of the loved ones.

Don't know any more vegans but have 3 friends who are vegetarian, all with kids, 2 of them are married to omnis and their kids are omnis...sadly it seems in a mixed marriage the omni always dominates the decisions re kids diet pressing the silly old argument of nutrition, growing body and vitamin deficiency.
The 3rd vegetarian friend also has an omni child, but she's been veg since teen age and never ever bought or cooked meat as an adult, so her son is used to it and never asks, but usually gets meat when eating out or at school

Like mentioned before I regret not to have started this earlier in their lives they wouldn't have known any different by now, but there's still time for more progress and change
Thanks for sharing

Will keep in mind for the future...
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#5 Old 01-17-2015, 12:45 AM
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Thanks for sharing

Will keep in mind for the future...
If you want my unasked opinion, I personally think mixed omni/vegan relationship wouldn't work long term, unless you manage to concert them for good. I say stick to your own kind...in this matter anyway. I myself would not date an omni anymore and would probably constantly be nagging a vegetarian to become vegan not hesitating to state my reasons again and again. You can tell I'm very highly strung
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#6 Old 01-17-2015, 12:52 AM
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If you want my unasked opinion, I personally think mixed omni/vegan relationship wouldn't work long term, unless you manage to concert them for good. I say stick to your own kind...in this matter anyway. I myself would not date an omni anymore and would probably constantly be nagging a vegetarian to become vegan not hesitating to state my reasons again and again. You can tell I'm very highly strung
I know that vegan/ omni dating can be difficult

Not agreeing on vital ethical issues is tough...
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#7 Old 01-17-2015, 12:59 AM
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That should have been convert not concert

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#8 Old 01-17-2015, 01:03 AM
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It would be nice to be able to convert omni significant others
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#9 Old 01-17-2015, 01:21 AM
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It would be nice to be able to convert omni significant others
Well Yourofsky did, but if only I had his superpowers
Also when Morrissey had a first date with someone and his date ordered meat M got up and left saying all you can now do on behalf of a slaughtered animal is depart. But his date followed him all the way home and they were together for 2 years. Strong reactions can produce wonderful results

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#10 Old 01-17-2015, 01:24 AM
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Well Yourofsky did, but if only I had his superpowers
Also when Morrissey had a first date with someone and his date ordered meat M got up and left saying all you can now do on behalf of a slaughtered animal is depart. But his date followed him all the way home and they were together for 2 years. Strong reactions can produce wonderful results
I think if you lay down some firm ground rules then that would help a lot, maybe even encourage conversion...
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#11 Old 01-17-2015, 07:10 PM
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My husband is an omni, but he doesn't care about this issue very much. He loves the veggie meals I make, takes vegetarian lunches to work, all that. If we are out, he may order meat, (my kids can too, but they don't want to) or he may not.

If I were vegan and raising the kids vegan, he'd probably need some reassuring from a dietician that we were on the right track with the kid's nutrition.

Bigger issues (for us)are schooling, health issues, division of labor, religion/spirituality,how many kids to have/spacing of said kids.... Etc.

I tell my kids that some people are omnis, and some are vegetarians. You get to make the choice yourself, but mommy doesn't want eat animal meat anymore.
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#12 Old 01-17-2015, 07:36 PM
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My husband is an omni, but he doesn't care about this issue very much. He loves the veggie meals I make, takes vegetarian lunches to work, all that. If we are out, he may order meat, (my kids can too, but they don't want to) or he may not.

If I were vegan and raising the kids vegan, he'd probably need some reassuring from a dietician that we were on the right track with the kid's nutrition.

Bigger issues (for us)are schooling, health issues, division of labor, religion/spirituality,how many kids to have/spacing of said kids.... Etc.

I tell my kids that some people are omnis, and some are vegetarians. You get to make the choice yourself, but mommy doesn't want eat animal meat anymore.
It's good that your husband eats veggie sometimes
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#13 Old 01-17-2015, 08:42 PM
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If you want my unasked opinion, I personally think mixed omni/vegan relationship wouldn't work long term, unless you manage to concert them for good. I say stick to your own kind...in this matter anyway. I myself would not date an omni anymore and would probably constantly be nagging a vegetarian to become vegan not hesitating to state my reasons again and again. You can tell I'm very highly strung
It's never been an issue with this relationship or any others I've ever had. Being raised in an omni family, I learned that something as little as someone's dietary preference shouldn't have any effect on how much I love and respect them. It helps that he's lactose intolerant and hates eggs, so he's willing to eat vegan a few nights a week. Even without that, though, the diet of our future children is the only thing I view as possibly causing any conflict over the matter. I wouldn't quite count three and a half years "long term," but most studies suggest that you know most everything you need to know about a person after two to three years, so I think we should be safe for the long haul.
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#14 Old 01-17-2015, 08:47 PM
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I'm divorced so I make decisions by myself in the house. I do regret though that this didn't enlighten me before I had children or when they were much younger as I would love to be raising them vegan...but I don't give up, it's just a start. When I decided to stOp eating meat I explained the reason why in a very simple and tame manner to my children and my daughter said straight away that she never wanted to eat animals anymore and she's now been meat free for 2 months. Later on when I decided to go vegan she seemed a bit disappointed and said she loved milk and cheese too much, so I didn't force her, but have been trying to get her to taste almond milk and soya chocolate milkshake, but so far no success. My son is still an omni outside of the house. I've now stopped buying meat but he sometimes chooses meat options for school dinners. I've been getting PETA correspondence and vegan life magazine and little book of cruelty free and books from the library and they always ask so I see it as an opportunity to tell them more they always seem to like to hear what I have to say on the subject.

A grandma in my daughters class is vegan and her granddaughter stopped eating meat 7 months ago and both parents are omnis. Sometimes children make good choices by themselves just following the example of the loved ones.

Don't know any more vegans but have 3 friends who are vegetarian, all with kids, 2 of them are married to omnis and their kids are omnis...sadly it seems in a mixed marriage the omni always dominates the decisions re kids diet pressing the silly old argument of nutrition, growing body and vitamin deficiency.
The 3rd vegetarian friend also has an omni child, but she's been veg since teen age and never ever bought or cooked meat as an adult, so her son is used to it and never asks, but usually gets meat when eating out or at school

Like mentioned before I regret not to have started this earlier in their lives they wouldn't have known any different by now, but there's still time for more progress and change
I think it would be tough to change kids' diets later in life. I always tell people I think the only reason I was able to go vegetarian so easily was that I had all the willfulness that comes with being five years old. That's why I'm so concerned over the idea of waiting until kids are old enough to decide for themselves, which is what most people suggest. Props to you for doing as much as you have!
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#15 Old 01-17-2015, 08:56 PM
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My husband is an omni, but he doesn't care about this issue very much. He loves the veggie meals I make, takes vegetarian lunches to work, all that. If we are out, he may order meat, (my kids can too, but they don't want to) or he may not.
This is more or less my experience. Even without trying to convert him, out of sheer convenience he does eat at least vegetarian a lot of the time.

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If I were vegan and raising the kids vegan, he'd probably need some reassuring from a dietician that we were on the right track with the kid's nutrition.

Bigger issues (for us)are schooling, health issues, division of labor, religion/spirituality,how many kids to have/spacing of said kids.... Etc.
My bf accepts that I know way more about nutrition than he does, and the only real arguments he'd have are that it would make social situations more difficult to navigate and that he doesn't want his kids thinking he's a bad guy for eating animals.

I definitely agree with your bigger issues, especially spirituality. Oh, and I'd add politics to that list! We agree for the most part, but I seem to lean further left than he does.
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#16 Old 01-17-2015, 09:19 PM
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I think it would be tough to change kids' diets later in life.
I agree...Ideally earlier conversion is better...But I can see that this could be problematic with an omni partner...
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#17 Old 01-18-2015, 12:54 AM
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Here's the situation to dread:

You and your omnivore partner raise your children as vegan. One of your children (god forbid) is born with a physical condition, or develops one during childhood. Your omnivore in-laws blame your vegan diet for this problem, and pressure your partner to get the kids onto an omnivorous diet. Conflict, blame, and resentment ensue.

If you're a vegan, and you want your kids to be vegan, then it's much better to marry a vegan.
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#18 Old 01-18-2015, 01:07 AM
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Here's the situation to dread:

You and your omnivore partner raise your children as vegan. One of your children (god forbid) is born with a physical condition, or develops one during childhood. Your omnivore in-laws blame your vegan diet for this problem, and pressure your partner to get the kids onto an omnivorous diet. Conflict, blame, and resentment ensue.

If you're a vegan, and you want your kids to be vegan, then it's much better to marry a vegan.
The in laws would have to have a pretty good argument for trying to persuade everyone to change their grandchild's diet to omni. How is changing from vegan to omni diet going to help any medical condition?

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#19 Old 01-18-2015, 01:11 AM
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Here's the situation to dread:

You and your omnivore partner raise your children as vegan. One of your children (god forbid) is born with a physical condition, or develops one during childhood. Your omnivore in-laws blame your vegan diet for this problem, and pressure your partner to get the kids onto an omnivorous diet. Conflict, blame, and resentment ensue.

If you're a vegan, and you want your kids to be vegan, then it's much better to marry a vegan.
I can see what you are saying...The question is: how easy is it to find a vegan partner? There aren't huge numbers of us after all...I don't know any in real life...
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#20 Old 01-18-2015, 01:15 AM
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The in laws would have to have a pretty good argument for trying to persuade everyone to change their grandchild's diet to omni. How is changing from vegan to omni diet going to help any medical condition?

A switch from vegan-to-omnivore won't help any medical condition, with the exception of the rare condition of epilepsy (http://www.epilepsy.com/learn/treati...ketogenic-diet ). However, I think we all know that the general public is poorly-informed and irrationally-fearful of vegan diets. When children are ill, parents and grandparents can (and do) act and believe irrationally.
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#21 Old 01-18-2015, 01:20 AM
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I can see what you are saying...The question is: how easy is it to find a vegan partner? There aren't huge numbers of us after all...I don't know any in real life...

Its likely that there are vegans living near you. Approximately 0.5% of Americans are vegan - this amounts to 1.5 million vegans living in the United States. If you go to http://www.meetup.com , and search for vegetarian / vegan meetups near you, I can almost guarantee you'll find a local veggie social group where you can meet other veg*ns.
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#22 Old 01-18-2015, 01:26 AM
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I can see what you are saying...The question is: how easy is it to find a vegan partner? There aren't huge numbers of us after all...I don't know any in real life...

Ah, I see you are in Worthing, England. There is a 500-member vegan meetup in Brighton: http://www.meetup.com/BrightonVeg/
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#23 Old 01-18-2015, 01:29 AM
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I can see what you are saying...The question is: how easy is it to find a vegan partner? There aren't huge numbers of us after all...I don't know any in real life...
You could always meet a vegetarian who would go vegan following your example. Or even an omni. But I agree the numbers are very small, so by setting a goal to meet a vegan you are seriously limiting your chances of finding the right person for you

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#24 Old 01-18-2015, 03:57 AM
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Here's the situation to dread:

You and your omnivore partner raise your children as vegan. One of your children (god forbid) is born with a physical condition, or develops one during childhood. Your omnivore in-laws blame your vegan diet for this problem, and pressure your partner to get the kids onto an omnivorous diet. Conflict, blame, and resentment ensue.

If you're a vegan, and you want your kids to be vegan, then it's much better to marry a vegan.
I can't see his parents blaming any sort of health condition on veganism, given that they're all fans of trying out different diets (sugar free, paleo, Adkins, even veganism at one point) to sort out health concerns. Our extended families are a different story. :/

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Originally Posted by David3 View Post
A switch from vegan-to-omnivore won't help any medical condition, with the exception of the rare condition of epilepsy (http://www.epilepsy.com/learn/treati...ketogenic-diet ). However, I think we all know that the general public is poorly-informed and irrationally-fearful of vegan diets. When children are ill, parents and grandparents can (and do) act and believe irrationally.
Surprisingly, I haven't heard of this diet! My boyfriend is epileptic, so I'll have to read up on this.
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#25 Old 01-18-2015, 03:59 AM
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You could always meet a vegetarian who would go vegan following your example. Or even an omni. But I agree the numbers are very small, so by setting a goal to meet a vegan you are seriously limiting your chances of finding the right person for you
I agree, and given that I've already met the right person for me, it's a moot point. Something to consider for those still looking, I suppose.
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#26 Old 01-18-2015, 07:57 AM
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If you want my unasked opinion, I personally think mixed omni/vegan relationship wouldn't work long term, unless you manage to concert them for good. I say stick to your own kind...in this matter anyway. I myself would not date an omni anymore and would probably constantly be nagging a vegetarian to become vegan not hesitating to state my reasons again and again. You can tell I'm very highly strung

I agree, it's very difficult. My boyfriend is an omni but he really wants to try and be veggie, as his mom is a born veggie. she always says she wishes she'd raised him a veggie too but at the time it wasn't very mainstream and hard to come across veggie options in restaurants etc (to the point where when she moved to England she found it so hard that she ate meat for a short time). I've always said to him that if we have kids they'll be raised vegetarian and he makes a fuss but I know that if it came to it they'd be vegetarian. He always says that he wishes he'd been raised vegetarian too.


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#27 Old 01-18-2015, 09:22 AM
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I think finding a partner that you are compatible with, and someone who "gets" you, is rare enough. They dont have to be an exact copy of yourself.

my husband and I have differing interests, sometimes different politics, not to mention he's a believer and Im an athiest (a quiet non-confrontational one).

My hubby likes vegetarianism for a variety of reasons, economics, enviroment, and health. He isnt ready to make a switch, but he might one day. Until then he eats mostly vegetarian, and is happy with that.
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#28 Old 01-18-2015, 10:51 AM
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My boyfriend and I are getting to the point where the discussion of TTC seems less abstract and more like something that's going to come about as soon as we'rd a bit more financially stable. I've been a vegetarian since I was five and about 90% vegan since I was thirteen. While he's open to eating just about anything I put in front of him (other than spinach and broccoli) my boyfriend does still eat meat.

So I was wondering, at what point did you and your S.O. discuss how to feed your kids? Did you stick with it? Are you glad you did (or didn't?) If your kids are older now, what do they have to say on the subject?
I think that having this kind of conversation early in your relationship is a good idea. Ask him what he thinks of raising a vegetarian son? What if his parents/brother want to give the boy meat? What if the boy is small and thin and doesn't like sports?
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#29 Old 01-18-2015, 12:26 PM
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I think that having this kind of conversation early in your relationship is a good idea. Ask him what he thinks of raising a vegetarian son? What if his parents/brother want to give the boy meat? What if the boy is small and thin and doesn't like sports?
My boyfriend's brother went vegan for a month when he was 12, and still turns green at the sight of red meat. My boyfriend himself was small, thin, and didn't like sports. One of our big fears is we'll have a son who'll want to play sports, and we'll have no way to support him! lol.
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#30 Old 01-18-2015, 01:13 PM
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I think finding a partner that you are compatible with, and someone who "gets" you, is rare enough. They dont have to be an exact copy of yourself.

my husband and I have differing interests, sometimes different politics, not to mention he's a believer and Im an athiest (a quiet non-confrontational one).

My hubby likes vegetarianism for a variety of reasons, economics, enviroment, and health. He isnt ready to make a switch, but he might one day. Until then he eats mostly vegetarian, and is happy with that.
That's very interesting, you obviously both are very agreeable accepting people. No, of course you'll never find an exact copy of yourself, but why would you even want to, that would be a nightmare! But some things are important and I think since veganism is a philosophy and incorporates so much in it that living with an omni would drive the 2 apart as they would be completely different lifestyles. Unless of course the omni was ready to listen learn feel understand and start the vegan journey with you.
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