Thanks very much for taking the time to read this and I hope I can get an answer.
Over the last couple of days, life has been very tough when trying to bond with my family.
Throughout childhood my mom has always overly nurtured my sister and I, tried to keep us out of trouble by sheltering us from the world, shoved her christian values down our throats, told us who's bad and who's good.
Throughout childhood my dad has just been insensitive, never spent quality time with my mom and was overall very rude to her. Not physically abusive, but mentally very non-supportive. He gave conditional love to my sister and I... as long as I rolled to his game, he'd support me all the way.. if i decided to be different, he'd tell me "there's no more father son relationship, you're dead to me".
My sister's boyfriend is some deuschebag... well i just think he's one since he's alcoholic, has a low income job and hates vegetarians.
Anyway, we went to a family reunion couple days ago and I didn't eat any of my mom's cooking as it was 95% meat. I got dissed a lot by everyone there but that's something I wont go into. My mom was going on about her negativity like usual but I guess this time she had a reason to, as she recently had kidney stones removed. But still, I found it annoying as she made this the main conversation and no matter how much i tried to change the subject, she'd bring it back to this.
My dad wasn't trying to comfort her and rather going on about how he's so great and without him, the family would have been nothing...So at that point, my mom said if he doesn't need her, she'll just move away and live with me... her son (me) who needs her and only her.
I then said, "no I'm fine on my own ma... you both just to stay together and work things out.. you wont like my lifestyle anyway"... Mum suddenly started shouting and saying "WELL IF NO ONE NEEDS ME THEN I MIGHT AS WELL BE DEAD!!!! I'LL GO KILL MYSELF!!!!!!!!" and then she brokedown and started crying like i'd never seen in my life. The way someone would cry at a funeral...out of control. I tried to hug her and comfort her but then she hit me several times. My sister tried to hug her too but she pushed my sister away. My dad like usual didn't do a thing.
She then pointed at me and said (while still crying) "I sacrificed my life for you and you hate me. You didn't even eat my food today...*random shout* I'm dying from poor health everyday and no one cares!!!! I'll go commit suicide" I tried to tell her I love her etc. but she fell to the floor in shock. It seemed like a cardiac arrest but was just oxygen depravation. We called the Ambulance, took her to the hospital... she's ok now, and I told her I love her etc. she didn't speak to me today when I picked her up from hospital .
Her two sisters (my aunties) and my grandma all said it was my fault too and that a true son would always be there for his mother, no matter what. I haven't spoken to my dad or sister about it.
I've always tried to make my mom happy by doing well in life, calling her and speaking positive, paying for her private health care (which my power hungry dad gets pissed off about), and buying her gifts etc.
Although I feel sorry for my mum, I don't know how it was my fault.... I wouldn't want her living with me because she hates the vegetarian lifestyle and if she found out that i'm not christian it'd make things worse etc.etc. But it's not that I don't love her or something....
none the less, I want to disappear.... I want to relocate to another country or town and give no record to my family about it. I think it's the only way I can run from these problems.