guilt by association - VeggieBoards
Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 Old 06-21-2009, 05:39 PM
Beginner
 
whatisreal's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 139
Does anyone ever feel guilty when they are around and or hanging out with others who are speaking in derogatory ways about animals?
whatisreal is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
#2 Old 06-21-2009, 05:43 PM
Veggie Regular
 
Envy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Heaven
Posts: 6,548
No, I just feel the sudden urge to facepalm.

"Hell exists not to punish sinners, but to ensure that nobody sins in the first place."
Envy is offline  
#3 Old 06-21-2009, 05:50 PM
Banned
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 3,641

I was doing my own thing quietly and YOU are the one who created this post trying to make a big deal out of it. Keep flaming the fire. That must be what you want.

sleepydvdr is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
#4 Old 06-21-2009, 06:08 PM
Beginner
 
whatisreal's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 139
excuse me for my ignorance, however ~ what is "facepalm" refer to? Is that like talk to the hand?
whatisreal is offline  
#5 Old 06-21-2009, 06:14 PM
Veggie Regular
 
RBG09's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 236
Quote:
Originally Posted by whatisreal View Post

excuse me for my ignorance, however ~ what is "facepalm" refer to? Is that like talk to the hand?



http://apublicdefender.com/wp-conten...3/facepalm.jpg
RBG09 is offline  
#6 Old 06-21-2009, 06:15 PM
Veggie Regular
 
Nishani's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 7,577
Quote:
Originally Posted by Envy View Post

No, I just feel the sudden urge to facepalm.




m8itcanw8.com
Nishani is offline  
#7 Old 06-21-2009, 06:16 PM
Newbie
 
suntiger's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 8
Guilty? No...if I find myself around people like that I simply ask them what their problem is. I will then happily let them know what I think of their comments. (Although I try to make it a point to not associate with those types).
suntiger is offline  
#8 Old 06-21-2009, 06:37 PM
Veggie Regular
 
4EverGrounded's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 5,644
Not really. But I do find myself praying that one day, they'll see what stupid, ridiculous things they're saying all in the name of being funny or clever for that moment.



I know there's loads of former omnis (round here especially) that used to say all sorts of things back in the day and regret every syllable of it now so I'd like to believe that those prayers/thoughts/whatever you want to call it do work somehow.
4EverGrounded is offline  
#9 Old 06-21-2009, 06:50 PM
Veggie Regular
 
Chrysalis's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 3,101
No. But I do find myself feeling embarrassed on their behalf, since they don't seem to realize how they sound to other people.

It's not in what you say, it's in what you do (Oasis)

Feeling bored? Why don't you wander over to my blog sometime. http://thebohemiankitchen.wordpress.com
Chrysalis is offline  
#10 Old 06-21-2009, 07:03 PM
Beginner
 
whatisreal's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 139
It makes me feel bad being around such. And I struggle for what to say, the magic words, that will "break thru" because I have not had much luck in these types of situations.



It's sort of like being around people who call others the "n-word" in a racist derogatory way, it's like so hard sometimes to break thru to these n-word using people ... I make the comparison because I think it is a very similar rooted reason as to why people speak rudely of/towards others.
whatisreal is offline  
#11 Old 06-22-2009, 08:05 PM
Newbie
 
GhostUser's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 0
Quote:
Originally Posted by whatisreal View Post

Does anyone ever feel guilty when they are around and or hanging out with others who are speaking in derogatory ways about animals?



Guilty no angry or annoyed yes.
GhostUser is offline  
#12 Old 06-22-2009, 11:11 PM
Contributing Member
 
whisper's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 1,938
Just angry, not guilty. If I think it will do any good I may say something, otherwise if it was a friend I would lose all respect for them and avoid them in the future.

‎"One meal, soon forgotten, in exchange for a whole life." Author Unknown
"Fur is worn by beautiful animals and ugly people"
 

whisper is offline  
#13 Old 06-27-2009, 04:26 AM
Beginner
 
Catherine_vegan's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 184
I get annoyed. In economics class the other day someone said that the demand for pork could decrease because of more awareness of factory farming. The most poplur guy in the class said who cares. I stood up, give him the evil eye and said I do.
Catherine_vegan is offline  
#14 Old 06-27-2009, 05:12 AM
Beginner
 
whatisreal's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 139
Do people feel it would be better to give an "evil eye" response or a "good smile" for change encouragement type response? Does it depend on the scenario? What appeals to breakthru to to make the most impact for change?
whatisreal is offline  
#15 Old 06-27-2009, 07:57 PM
Super Moderator
 
Werewolf Girl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: BC, Canada
Posts: 16,664
Quote:
Originally Posted by whatisreal View Post

Do people feel it would be better to give an "evil eye" response or a "good smile" for change encouragement type response? Does it depend on the scenario? What appeals to breakthru to to make the most impact for change?



Well, generally the nicer less judgmental approach works best for getting a point across, but the real important thing is just using your words and letting them know your opinion about whatever it is they said.



Silence equals consent in my mind, if you just sit there and smile when someone makes ANY kind of comment that makes you uncomfortable you are basically saying you agree with them and letting them continue to go unchallenged. As long as you speak your mind and do it as respectfully as possible you're good to go.

"If we could live happy and healthy lives without harming others... why wouldn't we?" - Edgars Mission
Werewolf Girl is offline  
#16 Old 06-27-2009, 11:23 PM
Veggie Regular
 
Mrrple's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 2,562
I'm confused as to what 'derogatory' refers to.
Mrrple is offline  
#17 Old 06-29-2009, 04:35 PM
Beginner
 
whatisreal's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 139
derogatory >adjective: showing a disrespectful or wrongfully hateful attitude.



So in history(or presently) when people used the "N-word" in that way it was a bad thing just as similar to the way people may say any variety of things about other animals including yet not limited to referring to them as "things". Sometimes people use the names of animals and call other people such as to imply derogadation... like calling someone a monkey or a pig or a cow or a dog or a rat or a chicken etc .... People may say they are being mean to the other person, well ~ how about the animal who is being derogatized?
whatisreal is offline  
#18 Old 06-29-2009, 04:40 PM
Beginner
 
whatisreal's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 139
Quote:
Originally Posted by Werewolf Girl View Post


Silence equals consent in my mind,





I always think of that song line "silence like a cancer grows", meaning if everyone just sits back and remains silent ... things can get really bad.



Sometimes though if you are around others where you can not speak because you are outnumbered and/or you would get attacked for speaking... well... you have to find the time and place... I have found that sometimes it may be wiser to hold you tongue, it takes a real sense of reserve to do that I think...



I think it is a balancing act know when to say something and when not to. Each situation is a different situation.
whatisreal is offline  
#19 Old 06-29-2009, 04:54 PM
Newbie
 
veggie123's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 93
I am around these kinds of people constantly. Some of my in laws are hunters and think that it is dumb to care so much about an animal. My brother says that they "get whats coming to them." (You think they would know better than to say this around me as I have always felt strongly about animal rights and have been a vegan for almost a year.)



Every time this happens I try to not give in to my urge to
veggie123 is offline  
#20 Old 06-29-2009, 07:43 PM
Veggie Regular
 
Mrrple's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 2,562
Maybe I'm just ignorant, but I don't think I ever run into that sort of thing except for BK commercials.
Mrrple is offline  
#21 Old 06-30-2009, 03:32 PM
Beginner
 
whatisreal's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 139
I don't think that would make you ignorant, perhaps just lucky. Or maybe you lived your life to the degree that you do not attract that type of "crowd"... where as maybe I messed up or something and I am around that type of crowd...



ADS

I usually try to just change the channel when there is a wrongly exploitive commercial on or sometimes I may watch for the reason of coming up with something to counter the objective, it depends... Sometimes I'll simply just say something out loud or to myself like "hope in awareness to change"...
whatisreal is offline  
#22 Old 06-30-2009, 05:46 PM
Banned
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 7,160
I feel guilty if people are talking crap about animals/meat-eating and I don't say anything. Usually I won't sit and listen, but sometimes it would be really inappropriate for me to argue with someone (e.g. a client at work). It's frustrating.
Earthling is offline  
#23 Old 07-02-2009, 08:11 AM
JW!
Newbie
 
JW!'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 3
My boyfriend's family have a habit of ranking their favourite meats and stuff when I eat with them- I don't think they do it to annoy me but I wish they'd think about what they're saying first!
JW! is offline  
#24 Old 07-02-2009, 08:54 AM
Veggie Regular
 
MZCsmpsns's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 1,467
I'm a blunt person, so usually I speak up if people are saying bad things, etc... about animals... if it's a situation where it's not appropriate to speak up I just put up w/it & have that dialog in my head that I know I'm vegan, I know why-they don't need to know.
MZCsmpsns is offline  
#25 Old 07-11-2009, 08:12 AM
Beginner
 
whatisreal's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 139
Quote:
Originally Posted by WorzelGummidge View Post

I feel guilty if people are talking "stuff" about animals/meat-eating and I don't say anything. Usually I won't sit and listen, but sometimes it would be really inappropriate for me to argue with someone (e.g. a client at work). It's frustrating.



Yeah, it's a tough situation, isn't it...
whatisreal is offline  
#26 Old 07-15-2009, 09:32 PM
Newbie
 
GhostUser's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 0
Quote:
Originally Posted by whatisreal View Post

Does anyone ever feel guilty when they are around and or hanging out with others who are speaking in derogatory ways about animals?



YES!!



I just started a new job where one lady (who is otherwise lovely) keeps telling me how annoying her cow is and that she's going to chuck him in the freezer soon. Then she asked if anyone wanted to buy half of her cow because her freezer wont fit it all.



It was my first day so I tried to ignore it but it really upset me. Now i feel bad I didn't speak up,



Someone else told me she loved animals and then offered to buy half the cow. WTF?!!!!!!



That one annoys me a lot. If you loved animals you wouldn't support the abuse and murder of them so shut the f*** up already!!
GhostUser is offline  
#27 Old 07-15-2009, 09:38 PM
Newbie
 
GhostUser's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 0
Quote:
Originally Posted by veggie123 View Post

I am around these kinds of people constantly. Some of my in laws are hunters and think that it is dumb to care so much about an animal. My brother says that they "get whats coming to them." (You think they would know better than to say this around me as I have always felt strongly about animal rights and have been a vegan for almost a year.)



Every time this happens I try to not give in to my urge to



I once made the terrible mistake of interrupting someone talking about hunting. They just kept going on about liking how the meat tastes better so I said I like when hunters get shot by other hunters. Everyone when silent and I was pleased thinking I made a good point. It turns out the womens brother in law died that way. Whoops.....
GhostUser is offline  
#28 Old 07-15-2009, 10:09 PM
Veggie Regular
 
clarita osita's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 3,862







Quote:
Originally Posted by Starblossom View Post

No. But I do find myself feeling embarrassed on their behalf, since they don't seem to realize how they sound to other people.



Yeah, me, too.
clarita osita is offline  
#29 Old 07-16-2009, 12:24 AM
Beginner
 
Marissa_L's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 101
I only know a few people who tend to make derogatory jokes about animals when I'm around (making fun of my vegetarianism). I used to get upset but realised this just encourages them to keep going. I simply don't respond, turn my attention to someone else, ignore their comments...

I tend to keep away from people who don't respect animals. Thus my circle of friends is quite small lol.
Marissa_L is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the VeggieBoards forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in


Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off