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#961 Old 05-21-2012, 09:15 AM
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are you gonna answer my question first about why you think its backwards ?? ill answer yours then

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#962 Old 05-21-2012, 09:17 AM
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are you gonna answer my question first about why you think its backwards ?? ill answer yours then

My question is an implication of my answer, namely that there are no inherent differences between a bi man and a hetero man, except that one of them likes guys as well.

Well, the same could probably be said with gay men as well, but it's more uncertain there.

Thusly, I think one upholds certain stereotypes by saying that you want to spend more time with one kind of person since only they act in a certain way and possesses certain qualities.
Pretty close-minded, I'd say.

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#963 Old 05-21-2012, 12:39 PM
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My question is an implication of my answer, namely that there are no inherent differences between a bi man and a hetero man, except that one of them likes guys as well.

problem is, thats only seeing this issue from your own male perspective [presumably hetero at this stage ??].
you really need to get the hetero female perspective on this, as thats who a faghag is, cuz from what the women whom ive had close relationships with have told me, its actually pretty different to your perspective. even tho you believe that there might not be any inherent differences, cultural influences & conditioning in hetero men can end up creating a few differences in attitudes [especially towards sex & relationships], that affect friendships & relationships in very significant ways. from living as a bisexual male, ive noticed some of those differences in many hetero men myself. all of the above is generalising a bit of course, but sadly, many people very often are stereotypical in their behaviours.

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Thusly, I think one upholds certain stereotypes by saying that you want to spend more time with one kind of person since only they act in a certain way and possesses certain qualities.
Pretty close-minded, I'd say.

i dont agree that faghags are being close minded or upholding certain stereotypes by spending their time with predominantly gay or bi men. i think theyre only trying to escape having to live with certain aspects of hetero male behaviour that they say theyre kinda sick of.

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#964 Old 05-25-2012, 08:12 AM
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Chris Colfer is cuter.



Odd response, I know, but I had to get the thread back on topic somehow...

 


Sara Quin is cuter:

 

http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lwhlbq64bS1qzamfs.gif

 

smitten.gif

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#965 Old 05-25-2012, 02:03 PM
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Sara Quin is cuter:

 

http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lwhlbq64bS1qzamfs.gif

 

smitten.gif

lolk watever lebsbeian


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#966 Old 05-25-2012, 02:05 PM
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10/10 would bang.

 

billkaulitz_100965889.jpg


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#967 Old 05-25-2012, 02:07 PM
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10/10 would bang.

600x512px-LL-a665aa17_billkaulitz_100965889.jpeg
Straight guy reactions when finding out he's male: priceless.

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#968 Old 05-25-2012, 02:16 PM
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Straight guy reactions when finding out he's male: priceless.

I still haven't pulled this on anyone. I expect that I could nab some of my friends really good with that, if I found a picture of a girly enough guy. tongue3.gif


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#969 Old 05-25-2012, 02:20 PM
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That feel when having a penchant for traps and girly guys. :'(


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#970 Old 05-25-2012, 02:27 PM
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I love guys who are fem and girls who are butch.

 

 

Oh the tiny girls with a bit of curves but a slight masculine look about them are just so hot to me.


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#971 Old 05-25-2012, 02:47 PM
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I still haven't pulled this on anyone. I expect that I could nab some of my friends really good with that, if I found a picture of a girly enough guy. tongue3.gif

I only did it once but with two people.

"Look at this."

"She's pretty. What's her name?"

"Bill."


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#972 Old 05-25-2012, 04:15 PM
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I only did it once but with two people.
"Look at this."
"She's pretty. What's her name?"
"Bill."
laugh.gif

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#973 Old 05-25-2012, 04:26 PM
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Warning: Spoiler! (Click to show)

 

Linetrip_Professional.jpg

 

linetrap4nb8.jpg

 


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#974 Old 05-25-2012, 06:29 PM
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That's... not a guy, right?

 

If it is, then wow, he has got it down pretty well.


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#975 Old 05-25-2012, 06:35 PM
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Hormones does wonders, I take it.


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#976 Old 05-25-2012, 06:36 PM
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I think I might just trick my friend with this now.

 

Thank you, Envy!


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#977 Old 05-25-2012, 06:40 PM
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I think I might just trick my friend with this now.

 

Thank you, Envy!

 

She is a porn star though. laugh.gif


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#978 Old 05-25-2012, 06:42 PM
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She is a porn star though. laugh.gif

But... is she at least a guy?

 

Because I already pulled the trick and I'll feel stupid if I'm wrong. D:


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#979 Old 05-25-2012, 06:44 PM
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But... is she at least a guy?

 

Because I already pulled the trick and I'll feel stupid if I'm wrong. D:

 

Well, that depends on how you see it.

 

She has a penis, but she also has boobs and a generally womanly figure. tongue3.gif


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#980 Old 05-25-2012, 06:55 PM
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Well, that depends on how you see it.

 

She has a penis, but she also has boobs and a generally womanly figure. tongue3.gif

Well I mean, did she start out as a guy.

 

Whatever.

 

He got over the joke pretty fast, deflected it horribly.


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#981 Old 05-25-2012, 06:58 PM
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Well I mean, did she start out as a guy.

 

Whatever.

 

He got over the joke pretty fast, deflected it horribly.

 

Yep.


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#982 Old 05-26-2012, 09:33 AM
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Soilman, if you really want to dress like a woman, your taxi transvestite friend probably could help you out with the shopping.

i just said my taxi driver colleage is a transexual, not a transvestite. Also I already said she looks terribly masculine. The esthetics of her hair, makeup, and clothing, is not very good. Why would I want to learn something from someone who I don't think is doing a good job of it?

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#983 Old 05-26-2012, 03:21 PM
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Sara Quin is cuter:

 

http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lwhlbq64bS1qzamfs.gif

 

smitten.gif

YES!! smitten.gif

 

 

 

Hullo, everyone, I haven't been here in a while, but I just came out to two friends last week so I wanted to come mention it. :)  I went out with two people from school, it was one of their birthdays, and we were talking a lot and playing truth or dare.  We were talking about really personal stuff, and I'd never felt close with these friends before but these conversations made me feel a lot closer to them, because I learned a lot more about them and I also related a lot to them.  And eventually, we were in a discussion and I wanted to tell them.  

 

Really, I was very hyper because I was drinking a sugar-y slush thing at the boba place we were at, and also I figured this was the best time to tell them, but I was also really nervous and jittery, but they kept encouraging me to tell them.  One of my friends actually guessed that I was, I couldn't say it at first,and then eventually she said she thinks she can guess, and I told her to, but she didn't want to, but eventually I got her to make guesses.  And for this guess, she drew a female and male sign on the right, whatever those stick and circle signs are called, and then on the left of the paper, she drew two female signs and circled them.  I was still nervous and kind of stuttering, and I said, "Would you guys care if I was?  Would you accept me?" and then the one that guessed said, "Of course we will, Jessica!!" and then the other said, "Yeah, I actually think it'd be really awesome if you were!".  And then I told them, and they actually seemed happier than I was, I was happy and relieved but also kind of on edge, waiting for them to show any discomfort or anything, because I never expected them to take this well, but they were actually very happy, they told me, "That's great!  Don't you feel so much better now that you've said this?" and stuff like that, and they've been pretty cool since, too, much better than I expected.

 

 I was so worried they'd be uncomfortable around me, but they haven't been, so it's really a relief.  I can't even describe how good it felt, and how inspiring it was.  A relief doesn't even describe it, because I just felt like I realized I was hiding so much of myself, and I feel like that experience has made me come to a new level of acceptance with myself and confidence with this, and inspired me to work towards being fully out, and fully comfortable with myself and my sexuality. 

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#984 Old 05-26-2012, 03:36 PM
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That's fantastic Jessica :)

And I love your new avatar picture!
 

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#985 Old 05-26-2012, 04:01 PM
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YES!! smitten.gif

 

 

 

Hullo, everyone, I haven't been here in a while, but I just came out to two friends last week so I wanted to come mention it. :)  I went out with two people from school, it was one of their birthdays, and we were talking a lot and playing truth or dare.  We were talking about really personal stuff, and I'd never felt close with these friends before but these conversations made me feel a lot closer to them, because I learned a lot more about them and I also related a lot to them.  And eventually, we were in a discussion and I wanted to tell them.  

 

Really, I was very hyper because I was drinking a sugar-y slush thing at the boba place we were at, and also I figured this was the best time to tell them, but I was also really nervous and jittery, but they kept encouraging me to tell them.  One of my friends actually guessed that I was, I couldn't say it at first,and then eventually she said she thinks she can guess, and I told her to, but she didn't want to, but eventually I got her to make guesses.  And for this guess, she drew a female and male sign on the right, whatever those stick and circle signs are called, and then on the left of the paper, she drew two female signs and circled them.  I was still nervous and kind of stuttering, and I said, "Would you guys care if I was?  Would you accept me?" and then the one that guessed said, "Of course we will, Jessica!!" and then the other said, "Yeah, I actually think it'd be really awesome if you were!".  And then I told them, and they actually seemed happier than I was, I was happy and relieved but also kind of on edge, waiting for them to show any discomfort or anything, because I never expected them to take this well, but they were actually very happy, they told me, "That's great!  Don't you feel so much better now that you've said this?" and stuff like that, and they've been pretty cool since, too, much better than I expected.

 

 I was so worried they'd be uncomfortable around me, but they haven't been, so it's really a relief.  I can't even describe how good it felt, and how inspiring it was.  A relief doesn't even describe it, because I just felt like I realized I was hiding so much of myself, and I feel like that experience has made me come to a new level of acceptance with myself and confidence with this, and inspired me to work towards being fully out, and fully comfortable with myself and my sexuality. 

 

Good work, sis. thumbsup.gif


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#986 Old 05-26-2012, 06:35 PM
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YES!! smitten.gif

 

 

 

Hullo, everyone, I haven't been here in a while, but I just came out to two friends last week so I wanted to come mention it. :)  I went out with two people from school, it was one of their birthdays, and we were talking a lot and playing truth or dare.  We were talking about really personal stuff, and I'd never felt close with these friends before but these conversations made me feel a lot closer to them, because I learned a lot more about them and I also related a lot to them.  And eventually, we were in a discussion and I wanted to tell them.  

 

Really, I was very hyper because I was drinking a sugar-y slush thing at the boba place we were at, and also I figured this was the best time to tell them, but I was also really nervous and jittery, but they kept encouraging me to tell them.  One of my friends actually guessed that I was, I couldn't say it at first,and then eventually she said she thinks she can guess, and I told her to, but she didn't want to, but eventually I got her to make guesses.  And for this guess, she drew a female and male sign on the right, whatever those stick and circle signs are called, and then on the left of the paper, she drew two female signs and circled them.  I was still nervous and kind of stuttering, and I said, "Would you guys care if I was?  Would you accept me?" and then the one that guessed said, "Of course we will, Jessica!!" and then the other said, "Yeah, I actually think it'd be really awesome if you were!".  And then I told them, and they actually seemed happier than I was, I was happy and relieved but also kind of on edge, waiting for them to show any discomfort or anything, because I never expected them to take this well, but they were actually very happy, they told me, "That's great!  Don't you feel so much better now that you've said this?" and stuff like that, and they've been pretty cool since, too, much better than I expected.

 

 I was so worried they'd be uncomfortable around me, but they haven't been, so it's really a relief.  I can't even describe how good it felt, and how inspiring it was.  A relief doesn't even describe it, because I just felt like I realized I was hiding so much of myself, and I feel like that experience has made me come to a new level of acceptance with myself and confidence with this, and inspired me to work towards being fully out, and fully comfortable with myself and my sexuality. 

 

That is so awesome, Jessica! Its great to read this. Your friends sound awesome! Friends can make all the difference to life. And it is great that you are feeling such confidence and comfort with being yourself. : ) 

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#987 Old 05-26-2012, 07:20 PM
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Thanks, guise!!  (: And yeah, Freesia, they really can make a big difference! 

 

Now I’ve been thinking a lot about how I’m going to come out to my mom, and another close friend, possibly multiple friends.  I don’t know if I’ll wait until they figure it out, or ask me, or if I’ll actually tell them, and how I’ll tell them if I do go that route.

 

            I used to go through these times of being afraid to accept my sexuality because I was afraid about how it was going to affect the rest of my life.  But when I really think about that, it’s not a choice for me, and I never fully understand that, because even though we hear that it’s not, society still treats it in deeper ways like it is a choice.  So I realized it wasn’t, and then I figured that, for me, it comes down to two ways it can affect my life.  I can either just settle with dealing with it by hiding it, which might be easier for some, but I’m a really open person and it just feels like I’m ashamed to hide that, and I also don’t want to live life like that.  I’ve been really restless lately about my whole life and everything about myself, I don’t want to hide who I am, my humour, the way I want and like to dress, my interests, and all those other little things that all together are part of a person. 

 

           So I figured what I want to do, really, is just fully embrace this, and instead of looking at it as a hindrance affecting my life, I look at it as an opportunity in my life to be open with this and happy with who I am, and if I get problems from it, then I’ll prove and build my confidence through overcoming those and not apologizing for who I am. Now I feel more ready than ever to come out, because I finally completely realize and comprehend that the only person I need acceptance from is myself, and I’ve gotten that, in every way that I had needed before.

 

            Now I’m just afraid about certain things with coming out and being out.  I’m kind of afraid that it’ll be so real, all the bad looks and things once I start being myself, I worry that I’m not strong enough to come out and stay out.  That fear isn’t as strong or powerful anymore, but it still makes me a bit nervous.  I truly want to be someone that’s strong enough and brave enough to be out, because I feel like a coward for not coming out, but I worry about those days that I’ll just want to go back into the closet, and wish I could do that.  So now I just have to keep believing that I’m strong enough to come out and stay out, and figure out how to, and then I think I’ll really have the courage to. :)

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#988 Old 05-26-2012, 10:00 PM
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Jess, that is the most unbelievably brave and inspiring post. Im amazed at the depth at which you have thought about it, I never would have considered any of that stuff. 

 

I am a bit transgender, but it doesnt really effect my day to day life, and it isnt really obvious to anyone, its more personal really, just an ongoing feeling of gender confusion, and a feeling of being not really a woman and being two genders at once. Doesnt really make much sense. I dont know.

 

I think that a lot of people dont fit into that mould of being the "heterosexual person with gender lined up neatly as to Society's Ideas Of Masculinity and Femininity and Heterosexuality" and the sooner that people realise this, the better.

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#989 Old 05-26-2012, 10:15 PM
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Jess, that is the most unbelievably brave and inspiring post. Im amazed at the depth at which you have thought about it, I never would have considered any of that stuff. 

 

I am a bit transgender, but it doesnt really effect my day to day life, and it isnt really obvious to anyone, its more personal really, just an ongoing feeling of gender confusion, and a feeling of being not really a woman and being two genders at once. Doesnt really make much sense. I dont know.

 

I think that a lot of people dont fit into that mould of being the "heterosexual person with gender lined up neatly as to Society's Ideas Of Masculinity and Femininity and Heterosexuality" and the sooner that people realise this, the better.

You could perhaps be genderqueer, too, which actually seems pretty common, not always feeling like you fit the roles of gender and all that. :) 

 

I completely agree!  I wish that many people didn't fear and hate difference the way they do.  Society should celebrate difference and diversity, and I wish that everyone realized how amazing and powerful uniqueness and individuality truly is, in all aspects, including not being heteronormative or cisgendered.  

 

Personally, I tend to feel like I go through phases with things like that.  When I was younger, I was more of a mix, I was a lot of a tomboy, but I also liked some "girly" things, like purses and pink, but a lot of my clothes were boys' clothes and boys' shoes.  (that reminds me of the time I wanted Spider-man shoes in preschool, and they were boy shoes so I had to spend an hour begging my mom to let me get them :P)  I also didn't like doing things the other girls my age did in primary and elementary school, I was more interested in running around and climbing and playing games than sitting with them talking about clothes and gossip and all the other boring things they talked about.  When I got older, I slowly (and subconsciously) started moving towards fitting in with other girls my age, wearing things 'everyone else' liked and wore and stuff, acting the way they acted.

 

Lately, now that I've been really moving more in the direction of acting and dressing and being how I want, I do like dresses and those things sometimes, but not even usually ones that other girls at my school like, but I also like more guy-ish clothing, or neutral things like hoodies and t-shirts and converse.  When I think about it, I realize it doesn't even matter whether or not you fall into gender roles or anything like that, it matters more to feel happy with who you are, how you act, how you dress, etc., and just being yourself. 

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#990 Old 05-26-2012, 10:39 PM
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True. Yeah, it has been sort of weird. Im happy to have a female body, but it is kind of like something I have to dress up and make look girly etc. But I am happier in trousers and jeans than dresses because I like to walk, or run, or dance, and it is harder to do those things in dresses than in pants. I also love high heels but again I prefer either low heels or flats because I like to move around a lot.

 

I like girly colours and have some girly interests, but my personality is more male than female. I was always treated differently than the other girls in school, I remember at primary and middle school the boys used to throw things at me, punch me, start fights with me, like I was one of the boys, and they didnt do that to any other girl. They were nasty to my friend too and they used to say stuff to her, but they never hit her, but they seemed to want to engage me in schoolboy-bully like things. Which was frustrating. But I think on some level they sort of knew that I wasnt really like other girls.

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