avoiding eating dinner with my boyfriends parents.... - VeggieBoards
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#1 Old 03-10-2009, 10:47 PM
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I just recently became a veg. and i havent eaten at my boyfriends house since i stopped eating meat.. i know his family is really big into meat and i dont want to offend them when we go to eat... i dont know how to go about this... do i go eat with them anyways and just eat teh veggies... or do i warn his mom ahead of time.. or do i just tell them i'll eat at my house and just hang out after dinner?? He's been inviteing me over for like a week now and i've been coming up with excuses to not come over....i'm going to run out of excuses soon.. please leave advise!!!!!!
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#2 Old 03-11-2009, 01:05 AM
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just tell them youre a vegetarian and theres no need to cater especially for you cuz you can just eat the side dishes. if your bfs mum offers to make you something then thats cool. if not, no stress eh.
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#3 Old 03-11-2009, 06:05 AM
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If you're going out to eat it shouldn't even be noticeable. If I were you I would have my boyfriend mention it to his parents. This way they know ahead of time and will likely prepare something veg for you to eat if you eat at their house. This is what my husband did when I first became veg, and the next time we went over there they had prepared a butternut squash soup, and were very proud of themselves because "we didn't even use chicken broth"! I guess they thought all but the strictest veg*ns would eat chicken broth, but I thanked them and now it's just second nature.

Good luck!
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#4 Old 03-11-2009, 06:09 AM
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Don't come up with excuses to not go over all the time, just be honest and tell him what your worry is.

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#5 Old 03-11-2009, 07:42 AM
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I let my boyfriends' parents know. They are huge meat eaters-- Mom is very accomodating, step-dad is less-so. He's nice about it but sometimes the dinner is veg-friendly and sometimes it's not. They're not the 'sit at a table together' kind of family though so that would probably make a difference if that were the case. I just eat elsewhere usually. No big deal!

You should come clean! They'll find out anyway. And it's not like it's a big horrible secret
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#6 Old 03-11-2009, 08:11 AM
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Definitely let them know, or have your boyfriend give them a heads up. My in-laws constantly tease me about being veg*n, but they are so sweet about making sure I have enough to eat. I think the best way to approach it is just to let them know about your situation and offer to bring something to share with everyone. That way it doesn't put pressure on them, especially if they don't know what to feed you. If your boyfriend's mom does not want you to bring anything, just let her know that you'll be happy to eat a salad or side dishes. I never expect people to cater to me, but I'm often pleasantly surprised at how accommodating they are when you let them know ahead of time. I think she would probably be embarressed if you showed up to dinner unable to eat the meal and she didn't know about your veg*nism beforehand.

Let us know how it goes!
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#7 Old 03-11-2009, 09:28 AM
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Your bf should tell them, and maybe next you're invited you could bring something delicious to share?
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#8 Old 03-11-2009, 11:41 PM
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I had the HARDEST time getting my boyfriend to tell his family that I was vegan--I don't know why, but it made for many awkward situations and I just couldn't seem to say it when put on the spot... I hope your boyfriend is more cooperative.
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#9 Old 03-13-2009, 07:54 AM
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I agree in that you should tell them. You can't avoid them forever. And don't feel bad about your decision, be proud! It stinks that they are big meat eaters... That makes a big difference. My family never was, and my Mom has had NO problem cooking me vegan food when I come over, but it is definitely a learning experience for my bf's Mom. His family definitely bases their meals around MEAT. It took her a couple times to cut out the dairy/eggs too, but finally she understood. That is also partly my fault, as I didn't want to be rude. My bf stepped in for me on that. But even after that, she asked my bf if I liked shrimp... He set her straight on that too.

Now that she knows and understands, she always has vegan options for me. And even if it's plain tomato sauce from a can with no seasoning in it, I appreciate that she keeps it separate from the sauce with the sausage she adds to it.
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