Seriously. For the last three days I've had this tick over my left eye. I can see my eyelid move when I look in the mirror. I've been under a lot
of stress lately both personal and at work. When I'm stressed my body does strange things (get muscle cramps, bad headaches that last for days, mess up my menses, make me a not so nice
person). It starts on the drive to work and ends on the ride home unless I'm talking about work or other stressful things. Does this mean I'm going crazy?
Background: I'm 18 and I just went through/am going through a really
tough breakup. As in, we've broken up four times in the last 1.5 but staying together/staying apart just doesn't quite... stick(?). We both want our cake and we want to eat it too.
He's been out of a job for the last 6 weeks and 'may not be able' to come up with his half of the rent. Forget the fact that I think he's put in a total of 10 applications over this time period. Oh, and his cell phone has been turned of so he isn't able to get any calls for interviews anyway
. He's a good guy but when you add: lazy + depressed + unemployed = contempt for the whole process and an unwillingness to try anymore. My name is on the lease which is why I've been paying half anyway, if he can't come up with his half they are taking it out of the security deposit I
I'm under tremendous financial stress too. I'm paying half the rent for an apartment I haven't lived in since May
. I'm also responsible for my grandmothers car payment. It's $20 shy of $400 a month. That's not counting my car, my cell, my car insurance and my own food/gas/misc. necessary purchases. Including cigarettes.. I know, I know, I'm cutting way back and I'm planning on quitting after Christmas, I work retail and quitting now is just not an option for me.
I just can't get ahead! My gas bill is a month behind, the fire insurance was suspended but I did
manage to get that paid today. I'm two months behind on my grandmothers car, I gave her the car payment but she used it for other bills that I didn't know needed to be paid/existed.
I'm planning to get a second job. I've done this off and on for two years already so another little bit won't hurt. My only problem is that my 'day' job needs me to be available anytime
from 5a.m. until 7-9p.m. I'm trying to see if it is feasible to work at one of the three 24 hour places close to my current job so I can work the overnight then go to my store. I'm not sure how that's going to work.
When I brought up the fact that I needed to get a second job to my general manager she basically told me that once our Christmas/holiday season is over she will probably demote me. I'm head of our second largest departments in the store and she needs me available whenever the business needs me. I will
add that the department head of the largest department has two
other jobs and is in school. And he has been for the last six years, hes trying for the second time to finish this semester. When I brought this up she told me that she doesn't make special arrangements for his other jobs and she's only willing to work with people who are in school and not people who want second jobs. May I add that two of the supervisors have second jobs?
I want to be in school so bad I can taste it! (Literally, I want to go to culinary.
) I'm not
going to be like my mom who is 43 years old and is still paying on her loans and makes less than 28k a year!
I'm stressed, freaking out and HAVE DEVELOPED A TICK!
I don't even know if I need advice, I just really needed to get it out. All of my friends have left the state in the last year, my mom got married 14 months ago so all she wants to talk about is her new hubby and the rest of the family wants to complain about her new hubby. I feel completly stuck.
Thanks for reading my book!
*If this isn't the correct forum will a mod be kind enough to move it please?*