ok, i bet this'll sound really cold, but its not meant to be mean in any way.
the phobias might well be very real, and his fear might also be very real, but the crux of the matter is that he's stated that he has no intention to deal with it whatsoever- so its likely that nothing will change on his part, unless its via some kind of miraculous/spiritual intervention, or huge and major crisis forcing change.
if you've been kind, gentle, supportive, caring, understanding, patient, and diplomatic in discussing getting help, and he's still digging his heels in, then you need to focus on YOU and YOUR CHILD, and maintaining your sanities. which might very well mean getting the heck out of there before it gets any worse.
ask yourself, are you prepared to continue with things the way they are, with no change in sight? if so, for how long? would you consider setting a deadline... say...3 months. would very calmly and clearly saying to him "i can't hack this any more, i'll support you through it, but if things aren't on their way to getting better in 3 months, i'm gonna need to make big changes to my life" shake him into action? i wonder if it'd shake him into a hissy-fit, panic attack, and blackmail/guilttrip session instead?
right now, he's using you as a prop, whether with intentional manipulation, or just as a deep seated coping strategy. he's probably steering and blackmailing and guilt tripping you all over the place- you get so used to living in it, that you really often can't see the wood for the trees. if he's anything like the people with major issues that i've known, he sure as hell won't change or get help while everything is relatively comfortable for him (his needs and desires are probably being pretty well pandered to, he's got a partner, he's got a pretty good deal of degree of security and control in his life compared to how things could be, he's getting away with acting out and not getting help, etc).
if he has phobias and paranoia (sounds paranoid to me!) lots of aspects of his life are probably really scary and chaotic for him- if everything isn't falling seriously apart around his knees right now, what real incentive or vital need does he have to face his fears head on?
i'd personally get myself out of there, but thats cos i've had a similar situation with a family member, and couldn't go through it again- you have to reach a point like that for yourself, where enough is enough. he might suddenly start to work on getting it together when he realises you won't stand for it any more, but if you do decide to leave, don't leave with that in mind, cos it might not work like that at all- and it most probably won't- leave with your sanity in mind. practical issues can be fixed- there are lots of agencies and groups which will support you and your child, and friends and family will come out of the woodwork, especially if you're not shy in asking for help.
do YOU take part in any support groups? we all definately need to spend some time around sane people! and your daughter... is she getting help for the things she no doubt sees, hears, and experiences at home? kids are very astute and pick up on everything, she'll be being affected more than you might realise.