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#31 Old 10-23-2007, 01:56 PM
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may not remember at the time either, even if "madness" is a relief or a source of supposed truth or justice or comfort or whatever it means to the individual.



Basicly I would say psychosis is a deep fry... (and anything said about it in such brevity is bound to sound blunt, so be aware of that, there is obviously a lot going on in a person's mind who is ill, even in a depressed or sub-dued mind)
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#32 Old 10-23-2007, 08:33 PM
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I think I have some idea of what he is capable of. So far, just words. I promise I'll run like hell if it goes any farther than that but I doubt he'll have the guts. He's quite pathetic really. His drama is always extreme and then he comes down and is quite normal again for a while. The reason I started this discussion is that I think his phobia have reached some sort of maximum here. I can be very understanding about people's "weird" traits. But... this is as far as I go, because from here on, it's psychosis. The phobia are taking over our lives. That is why I started posting. I guess there's really only 2 choices here: either he does something about it, or I do something about it... Basically I was wondering WHAT tools are available to do something about phobia, remember ?



I apologise, my comments were not intended to make you defensive. I got the impression from your posts that this was a desperate situation that you were hoping to see a way out of, as opposed to you just feeling a need to verbalise your current frustration.



There are some very effective tools out there to deal with phobias. I didn't go into them because you made it very clear that your husband was not interested in therapy of any kind so I felt there was no point going into it. There are various phobia forums on the net that could be of help to you, and obviously your therapist is the best person to ask about phobia treatment. Good luck, I hope you find some peace from this in the near future

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#33 Old 10-24-2007, 11:11 AM
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there is obviously a lot going on in a person's mind who is ill



LOL... so nothing goes on in a SANE mind ?!



Just kidding. Itr's good to laugh sometimes (although I must warn you that abuse of this tyoe of laughter may get labelled "cynical").
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#34 Old 10-24-2007, 12:13 PM
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LOL... so nothing goes on in a SANE mind ?!

Just kidding. Itr's good to laugh sometimes (although I must warn you that abuse of this tyoe of laughter may get labelled "cynical").



Typo's are code for something too huh ? uhuh, its okay I'm really not that paranoid My complete whole mind is one big typo of derision... When I reach that eb, then you can call me cynical AND insane AND if you like NUTS Okay back to the nothing going on minds we share and share alike... Human beings actually DO MIX purposefully to make each other INSANE its a known FACT
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#35 Old 10-24-2007, 12:15 PM
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BACK to SERIOUS business.... (how can you take me seriously with my Hitler and Super Beaming Smiley faces I don't know but we can try...)
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#36 Old 10-24-2007, 12:18 PM
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BACK to SERIOUS business....



(how can you take me seriously with my Hitler and Super Beaming Smiley faces I don't know but we can try...)

<<<<<<<<<<
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#37 Old 10-24-2007, 12:29 PM
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Yep it's pretty hard to take you seriously, Goth...



I've been having some sort of break with husband abroad for work. Not sure what is going to happen when he gets back (tomorrow ?). I guess the other shoe will drop, boohoo.



I registered with a forum on verbal abuse. Might help. We'll see. Forums are not going to help me take action though.



I also saw my own therapist. She still advises to take it easy, not to rush anything. She says yes, we'll separate, but in our own time. This is a lady who is into energy healing and has tons of experience (her own + patient's) on big life issues. Her own life hasn't been all roses either. I connect with her in a major sense and she is my "voice of reason" a lot of the time.



Again, we'll see. I don't think "violent" action will solve anything in a satisfactory way so I'll have to prepare things. I have time. And I have reason on my side. High strung persons have one big weakness and it's their high-stringiness I guess... Let me ponder this some more... (no, not postponing, just calling out for alien forces to come to the rescue).



Kidding here. It won't happen overnight but it 'll happen. How or when, I don't know. But I will set something in motion and take it from there. I will be in control. I promise.
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#38 Old 10-24-2007, 12:48 PM
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nah, you CAN take me seriously most of the time HONESTLY



high stinginess indeed, hyper is that ??



you are a very reasonable sounding person I think ! I agree you have reason on your side.



hehe @ Alien forces...



Good on ya... for getting the help you are doing online and off, keep doing that



ps, I'm relieved you are saying violent solution is NOT the answer, because it ain't.
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#39 Old 10-24-2007, 01:52 PM
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nah, you CAN take me seriously most of the time HONESTLY



high strung indeed (I've known it myself), hyper is that right??



you are a very reasonable sounding person I think ! I agree you have reason on your side.



hehe @ Alien forces...



Good on ya... for getting the help you are doing online and off, keep doing that



ps, I'm relieved you are saying violent solution is NOT the answer, because it ain't.
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#40 Old 11-06-2007, 11:35 PM
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OK well... sorry to have dropped out here for a while. Last week was a bit of a strange week here, with lots of time off from work (school break, too).



As I expected, things have calmed down quite a bit meanwhile.



Mainly, I have been able to talk to my husband and tell him that I was ready to drop everything, talk to a lawyer and find some way to settle. This scared him pretty badly apparently because, to my surprise, he agreed to seek help, both for himself as for us. I got a referral from a friend-psychiatrist and I hope to get things rolling in a few weeks.



We haven't been to see anyone yet for various reasons, my car broke down, both our jobs are getting hectic at this season and he is still dealing with lot of docs appointments for his physical ailments. We can't get home before 7 pm and then still have to take care of our kid and ourselves. But I am determined to not let him get away with an "empty"' promise.



We have been able to talk more calmly about the stuff that bothers us since we started to communicate again and I feel we have made some progress, relationship-wise. We're still far from being a close couple, but at least we are talking... and continuing to fix up our house so that, if need be, we can sell it in a couple of years without getting ourselves in debt for the rest of our lives.



I did get some physical reaction to all the stress, in the form of a very painful boil in my lower back, which I am now on meds (penicillin, unfortunately) for.
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#41 Old 07-12-2008, 01:33 AM
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*bump*



Wow...old thread...I know...



I was searching VB for a thread on phobias, and came across this one. I'd really like to know how things are going now... Any better??? I certainly hope so...



I would like to comment on the part about the 'episodes' instantly stop when someone (OP) picks up the phone to call for help.



People do sometimes use disabilities as a way to manipulate others, but it's not fair to think that when it stops with the phone pick up (in my opinion). Think about a child that's crying...deep emotional distress... And the parent says "You better stop crying this instant or else ____(insert scary punishment here)______!!!!!" And the child is able to suck up his/her tears and return to normal out of fear of punishment.



That doesn't mean the distress wasn't truly real, or that the child just wanted attention (some do, though)...but consequences can force you to instantly bottle up emotions.



As for your hubby, I'd think that since he really doesn't want treatment, an emergency call for help would, in his mind, have very negative consequences, so he'd better suck it all back in!



An another note, I can relate to not wanting treatment for a phobia. I have two that DO interfere with my life, but I'm so used to them that I don't see a need to change. I function just fine in spite of them, but I do have to occasionally explain to people why I'm ____(insert odd behavior here)___.



Anyways, give us an update!

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#42 Old 07-12-2008, 08:08 AM
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A great, great book is "Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy Revised and Updated" by Dr. David Burns M.D.). He does a great job explaining irrational, negative thought processes and techniques to change them. Check out the many positive reviews on Amazon.com. Of the hundreds of thousands of books that they sell, this book is ranked #250 on their all-time best seller list. The book is a very easy read and is directed to lay people wanting to improve the quality of their lives.



It will help you understand what is going on with him and perhaps deal with the whole situation in a more effective manner. If he doesn't want to (or won't) read it, you can use the info to explain his irrational, negative thinking patterns and offer him alternatives. If you read it, I believe you may conclude this was the best $7.99 you have ever spent. Obviously, there is no "instant cure" or "magic bullet" to solve such problems which were a long time in the making, but this is a great tool in the quest for positive change.



I offer no relationship advice and am kind of alarmed by some that has been posted here. You indicated you have a counselor you have faith in - let this professional guide you. Good luck. veggiecraig
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#43 Old 07-12-2008, 09:05 AM
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Thanks for the book suggestion...I'm going to look into this for myself!



Amazon.com has it for $7.99.



Another one suggested is Mind Over Mood.



Maybe I'll get both!
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#44 Old 07-13-2008, 07:11 PM
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My boyfriend has bouts of this, but not as severe. You have two choices: live with it and accept it as it is, or 2) try to get him help and leave him if he refuses.
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#45 Old 07-14-2008, 08:20 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by veggiecraig View Post

A great, great book is "Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy Revised and Updated" by Dr. David Burns M.D.). He does a great job explaining irrational, negative thought processes and techniques to change them. Check out the many positive reviews on Amazon.com. Of the hundreds of thousands of books that they sell, this book is ranked #250 on their all-time best seller list. The book is a very easy read and is directed to lay people wanting to improve the quality of their lives.



It will help you understand what is going on with him and perhaps deal with the whole situation in a more effective manner. If he doesn't want to (or won't) read it, you can use the info to explain his irrational, negative thinking patterns and offer him alternatives. If you read it, I believe you may conclude this was the best $7.99 you have ever spent. Obviously, there is no "instant cure" or "magic bullet" to solve such problems which were a long time in the making, but this is a great tool in the quest for positive change.



You're really plugging this book....did you write it or something?
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#46 Old 07-14-2008, 09:15 PM
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You're really plugging this book....did you write it or something?



I wish I wrote the book - with all the copies sold, I could leave the day job and start a vegetarian/vegan B & B in IRELAND!



OK, back to reality. Have a close friend who had a psych hospitalization early in the year (depression) and hasn't successfully broken out of the funk, despite lots of therapy and med changes. Recently bought him dinner at CHIPOTLE after work ( a great place for vegans - no, I don't own it!), gave him a pep talk and the book.



In the same month, a female coworker overdosed on prescription meds at her desk, passed out, taken to ER via ambulance. On day 3 of her psych hospitalization, went to visit her, gave her a pep talk, and gave her the book.

I first read the book in 1986 during a difficult time.



With so many folks in the country having no health insurance, and with many health insurance plans treating psychiatric problems with inferior (compared to coverage for physical impairments) or no coverage , many folks only have the option of self-help and the support of concerned love ones and friends.



Luckily, my 2 friends both have good health insurance with good mental health coverage, but I truly believe this book will help both of them. Hope I haven't been too "serious" here! veggicraig
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#47 Old 07-15-2008, 10:20 AM
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To be honest, I recall thinking it was a really lame book. I guess if you haven't tried any "pay attention to your thought processes" kind of work, it's helpful. But I don't think it addresses actual depression in the least. It just addresses very mild "blues" or perhaps dysthymia (mild version of depression). To have it claim to address depression is like saying, "watch your sugar intake, it'll cure your diabetes and you won't need any insulin." Sure it'll help to a certain extent, but it makes more serious diabetics just seem lazy.
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#48 Old 07-15-2008, 05:39 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by veggiecraig View Post

A great, great book is "Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy Revised and Updated" by Dr. David Burns M.D.). He does a great job explaining irrational, negative thought processes and techniques to change them. Check out the many positive reviews on Amazon.com. Of the hundreds of thousands of books that they sell, this book is ranked #250 on their all-time best seller list. The book is a very easy read and is directed to lay people wanting to improve the quality of their lives.



It will help you understand what is going on with him and perhaps deal with the whole situation in a more effective manner. If he doesn't want to (or won't) read it, you can use the info to explain his irrational, negative thinking patterns and offer him alternatives. If you read it, I believe you may conclude this was the best $7.99 you have ever spent. Obviously, there is no "instant cure" or "magic bullet" to solve such problems which were a long time in the making, but this is a great tool in the quest for positive change.



I offer no relationship advice and am kind of alarmed by some that has been posted here. You indicated you have a counselor you have faith in - let this professional guide you. Good luck. veggiecraig





my dad swears by this book and suggested it to me recently - i skimmed it a bit..
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