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-   -   When your SO doesnt brush their teeth..? (https://www.veggieboards.com/forum/25-relationships-family/70627-when-your-so-doesnt-brush-their-teeth.html)

Dirty Martini 09-08-2007 10:15 AM

It's a dental health issue as well, not just hygiene. Over time, he will more than likely develop gum disease due to bacteria building up under his gumline. He'll probably experience gum recession and, potentially, tooth loss.



http://www.ada.org/public/topics/per...l_diseases.asp

Eclipse 09-08-2007 10:31 AM

Yeah me too I hardly ever miss a day of brushing...it's so unfair.

starseed13 09-08-2007 04:20 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by IamJen View Post

It's a wonder they had any teeth left.



(((shudder)))



Oh he only has like 4...really. He simply says he "doesnt care". (not my boy, my co worker)



I would never withhold sex! Why punish myself? hehe

Im gonna tell him next time he eats something and just gets into bed that it bothers me {in a more serious voice}.

sybaritik 09-08-2007 10:08 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sevenseas View Post

You could use another ickiness issue to make someone brush their teeth: "if you don't brush, I won't flush".



Some guys wouldn't be bothered by that.





I'm a bit Seinfeld-like when it comes to something like this because a guy that didn't take care of himself in that way wouldn't get anywhere near me or my bed. Too gross to even think about.

Cuddlebunny 09-08-2007 11:22 PM

Well I guess I'm lucky. Me and my boyfriend have a relationship like Rabid Child. We just flat out tell each other. If he didn't brush his teeth I'd just tell him go brush your teeth followed by do you have any idea how nasty that is. We are a very upfront and matter of fact couple. If one of us stinks or something we are quick to say You stink go take a shower. That's how we have both always been.



I certainly would withhold my kisses and such based on the fact that he didn't brush his teeth. I don't want to kiss that. I wouldn't be mad or act like I was if he didn't go brush his teeth but I'd make sure he knew before hand that I'm not going to kiss his mouth. He'd get kisses on his forehead and thats about it.



We've had hygiene problems too. It's best if your just be upfront and get right to the point. No BS and no finger pointing.

Keli 09-12-2007 01:40 AM

My bf dosen't want to brush his teeth either, nice to know I am not alone! I tell him to do it. His is out of pure laziness.

Marineluvr26 09-12-2007 08:04 PM

my so is the same way. i think he actually forgets. but if it's too bad i'll remind him to brush and he will.

greenheart 09-13-2007 05:51 AM

What about employing some of the positive reinforcement techniques used to train animals? Ignore the bad, reward the good? I've read articles about the techniques working on husbands, too.



Instead of nagging when he doesn't brush his teeth, when he DOES brush them on his own accord, give him a really big sexy kiss... heck, if you've got the time, let it lead to an out-of-the-ordinary mid-day sex romp instead of the "usual" before bed. The key is doing something that he'll enjoy and want to experience again... make him wonder, "What did I do to deserve that!?!?!" I've read that even a simple kiss and a "thank you" can do the trick, too. Repeat any time he brushes his teeth on his own. Pretty soon he should make the connection and voluntarily brush his teeth more often in hopes of being "rewarded" with that very positive, very enjoyable experience.



It works for fido (with treats, not sex!)... why not boyfriends, too?

starseed13 09-13-2007 08:05 PM

Ill have to try that if I happen to be around when he brushes!

Skylark 09-13-2007 08:15 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by rabid_child View Post

You need to follow that statement with a command. I don't make it an opinion or an option. It's just "go brush your teeth" and I don't lay off until he does. I can be a pain.



Hmmm.... looking back at this post now, I know I'm slow on the draw, but I thought healthy egalitarian relationships didn't involve ordering each other around. Thoughts?

LadyFaile 09-13-2007 11:31 PM

mine used to be pretty lazy about it, i mentioned it to him and i got the "i know i know" response. when i started backing away when he wanted to kiss me goodnight, he got the hint. that and the fact that i've told him a few times i won't kiss him after he eats meat unless he brushes his teeth.



the real kicker though was when our dental benefits finally kicked in and we both went in for a seriously overdue cleaning. his teeth have always been a little yellow and grungy looking. they blasted them with baking soda and they came out incredibly white. he's not a vain person really but i think he's been putting in a lot more effort since then, to keep them white.

and being a guy and lazy, it helps that he discovered that he can brush while showering lol.





maybe your bf needs a little education on why he should brush more, especially before bed. look up some info online or at the library or something.

GhostUser 09-14-2007 06:26 AM

My boyfriend read the thread with me and went "I'm gonna go brush my teeth, the thread made me feel like it".

Maybe you could try that?

I agree with the "rewarding" attitude though. I think it's a good one.



I brush my teeth more accurately and more often than my SO and I'm the one who ends up with cavities.

sumsums 09-15-2007 12:57 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by rabid_child View Post

I've analyzed my bf's reluctance to brush his teeth and I've deduced it is a response to his strained relationship with his mother who was a dental hygienist.



And he's lazy.



Fortunately we're at a point in our relationship where I just say "You're gross go brush your teeth" and he does. :P



YEah i love being at that point. If he stinks or needs to brush his teeth i tell him, and same with telling me LOL

nataliex1122 09-16-2007 02:08 PM

My boyfriend and I often brush our teeth together, maybe you could try that? Or you could brush his teeth for him but something is telling me that would't work out too well.

starseed13 09-18-2007 03:12 PM

I dont know. He still doesnt. Ive pretty much given up. Im so scared Ill start a fight. Because I say something and nothing happens...and then if I say anything else Im pushing it and I get a vibe that Im going too far. Oh well. :\\ I just hope all his teeth dont fall out.

juno 09-19-2007 07:55 PM

Eek, I certainly wouldn't let it go.

sybaritik 09-19-2007 09:25 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by starseed13 View Post

I dont know. He still doesnt. Ive pretty much given up. Im so scared Ill start a fight. Because I say something and nothing happens...and then if I say anything else Im pushing it and I get a vibe that Im going too far. Oh well. :\\ I just hope all his teeth dont fall out.



Have you thought about maybe thinking a bit more of yourself and aiming a little higher than a dude who doesn't care about basic hygiene?

hamilton 09-19-2007 09:29 PM

Ask him to floss and he may lame out and brush instead?

Honeysuckle 09-21-2007 08:12 AM

[QUOTE=starseed13]



Ive already asked him to please brush his teeth before bed and he just says "whats the point, Im just gonna brush them in the morning when I wake up anyway."

QUOTE]



er, because his beautiful girlfriend might want to kiss him in between!



Stop this right now before it becomes the norm for him. Tell him that you love the smell of his minty breath when you kiss him goodnight.



Or that it's not sexy when his teeth and mouth haven't been cleaned all day - that should motivate him!

SupersonicSheep 09-21-2007 09:44 AM

I had a boyfriend once who NEVER brushed his teeth!!! His excuse was that he didn't need to cause he drank loads of milk and the calcium would protect his teeth. He also said that he didn't brush his teeth because he couldn't stand the feel of a toothbrush in his mouth. He didn't last very long with me!!!

starseed13 09-22-2007 04:36 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by sybaritik View Post

Have you thought about maybe thinking a bit more of yourself and aiming a little higher than a dude who doesn't care about basic hygiene?



Um..Maybe you are trying to be nice, and if so um..thanks. BUt I actually think very highly of myself, and very highly of my boyfriend. People are not perfect. In any relationship you could find something you dont like about a person and if you use that as an excuse to leave every time, you may be alone forever. My boyfriend is a wonderful man, hes funny, smart, open minded, a great father, treats me like a princess, a hard worker..I could go on and on. Leaving him because he lacks motivation in the dental hygiene department makes little sense to me.

Ocean 09-22-2007 05:14 PM

Well if I had to kiss him and his mouth was gross I'd probably say something. When was the last time he went to a dentist? I say if his oral health is fine, then I wouldn't bug him about it...

Beachbnny 09-22-2007 05:23 PM

You poor thing! My Husband occasionally forgets to brush before bed- I let it go cause it's not that often. It's usually when he crawls in bed with a vodka tonic-lol.



If I were in that situation, I'd pop little listerine strips in his mouth unexpectedly, start cooking everything with mint, and constantly offer him gum... but I'd be super cute, sweet, and nice about it. I'd make it a joke and we'd laugh. If you're too afraid to start a fight, that's not a good healthy thing in any relationship- imo. Since he treats you so well though, I kinda understand not making a huge deal out of something that isn't a deal-breaker.

Libellula 09-23-2007 07:50 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by rabid_child View Post

You'd think that, but I brush my teeth obsessively and always have cavities, and my bf brushes his teeth before work in the morning (weekends get a "go brush your teeth you're gross" from me) and he has had one cavity his whole life. Where is the justice in that??





oh yeah, my boyfriend has never had a cavity, he brushes regularly, tho - and i probably will have to get 12 filled over the next 2-3 years, and i'm the obsessive one about my teeth!

starseed13 09-23-2007 12:29 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ocean View Post

Well if I had to kiss him and his mouth was gross I'd probably say something. When was the last time he went to a dentist? I say if his oral health is fine, then I wouldn't bug him about it...



Never..at least not since he was a small child. No money, no dental insurance=not going. I dont know anyone who goes to the dentist honestly. I must live in bad teeth capital USA or something.

Dirty Martini 09-23-2007 12:31 PM

Not going to the dentist = no teeth & dentures when you're older. I know it's hard for people to think about being older and what your dental health will be like, but rotten, swollen gums doesn't sound like fun to me. Nor does taking care of dentures. blech.

Libellula 09-23-2007 02:01 PM

i go to the dentist, i am very cavity prone tho

truepeacenik 09-23-2007 06:35 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by starseed13 View Post

Ive told him it was gross before and he didnt really respond. I said something like "You dont brush your teeth before bed! THATS SO GROSS!" and made a face. He always goes back to the same thing, the Im gonna brush them in the morning anyway so whats the point argument. Ive told him that the food sitting there on his teeth for 7 hours while he is sleeping IS destroying his teeth and he just doesnt respond.



I dunno if this is just something around here or what..one of my coworkers told me he hadnt even owned a toothbrush or cleaned his mouth in ANY way in 7 YEARS.





Ok, he doesn't care about his breath. Fine. You do, and you just bet err...self satisfied in his presence, and when he wants in on it, say:

buddy, I brushed MY teeth before bed.







just a thought.

SupersonicSheep 09-24-2007 10:19 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by truepeacenik View Post

Ok, he doesn't care about his breath. Fine. You do, and you just bet err...self satisfied in his presence, and when he wants in on it, say:

buddy, I brushed MY teeth before bed.







just a thought.



Yeah, no tooth brushing is definitely a case for withholding the nookie!

khadijah 05-24-2014 01:54 AM

well I guess if you are not bothered by his breathe and he treats you good, then I guess he is a keeper.


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