meat eating friends - VeggieBoards
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#1 Old 06-21-2007, 03:27 AM
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I know there is a similar thread going on here right now that deals with issues with partners, family etc. But how do you deal with your meat eating friends?



Mine tend to see me as a bit loopy i think, most times its impossible to go out with them without a dig about me being a vegan or enviornmentalist. Although im kind of used to it, im starting to get a little pissed off by it. Same old dig, old jokes when will they stop.



Last night i had a call from some new friend iv recently made, basicly my ex told this particular person from this group i was a vegan, who must have told everyone else in this group because last night while making arrangements to travel down to a festival this weekend, this guy whos driving said he wanted to make a really early start as he has this fave greasy spoon place the whole group love cause they do the best bacon sandwiches. OK i said, not making the slightest bit of fuss, then he adds "we like our meat see, thats why we have those pointy teeth in our mouths" then falls about laughing. Ah yeah i said but ever tried eating a raw swede without those pointy teeth, ouch needs pointy teeth for that i said laughing (well more gritting my teeth really). All goes quiet, "thats why man invented fire" he says back (could tell after the pause he had to stop and think up a reply) He then starts making ugg sounds on the phone, i hear others laughing. Oh well i said you wouldnt have had much variety before the discovery of fire then would you.



I get the feeling the three of them are going to be questioning, digging and making jokes all the way there tomorrow.



Wonder which one will be first to say "did you know a cabbage screams when you pick it". And i wonder which one will get the most defensive when i explain the nervous system of a cabbage being different to that of an animal and how a cabbage dosnt **** itself while standing waithig to have its neck slit.



Wonder if ill still get a lift back after too.



Know when you get that feeling?
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#2 Old 06-21-2007, 03:41 AM
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I like your sass... and have liked your input on my similar thread, i think if they give you **** about it through out a shut down comment like that, i think they will feel a bit funny with you but they'll get over it...and ...wait for it...they may actually have an enlightment moment....lets all hope huh
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#3 Old 06-21-2007, 03:52 AM
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NiceDream



These people can get at you . I have found with the ones that make a joke and then laugh at there own joke (by this time there egos are pumped ) the best way to handle them is to put it back over them .



Try not smiling or making a joke with them . Take the joke back to a rational statement and signalize it .



When he is going on about pointy teeth just say what do you mean "pointy teeth " where his energy will stuff up as he is laughing at his own joke (at your expense ) and then tries to explain to you his stupid joke .Which you do not respond to in understanding terms



Its worked for me a few times and them up
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#4 Old 06-21-2007, 04:02 AM
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Sounds like you need new friends...Ok, maybe that's a bit drastic. I guess you could try to ignore the comments and let them have their entertainment. As long as you don't come across as being mad/annoyed. My husband was getting on my nerves when I first went vegan because he was always making some stupid remark, especially in front of other people. I put him in his place by telling him he wasn't funny anymore and that he needed to get himself some new material. I did this in front of a few other family members. I found out later he asked my adult daughter if this were true and she told him his yes. He hasn't made a derogatory remark about my lifestyle since.



I know every situation is different. If you are going to continue to hang with these people you will need to find some common ground. If you know they are going to be grilling you, I guess you can try and be prepared with some witty comebacks. Good luck!!
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#5 Old 06-21-2007, 06:10 AM
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i honestly would cancel on them, they seem like they're pretty immature and not going to try to discuss your veganism in an intelligent manner... It's going to be ignorant joke after ignorant joke. I wouldn't waste my time. Besides, there's plenty of people out there who are open minded and respectful.



But its up to you, if you can handle the jokes, then go for it...
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#6 Old 06-21-2007, 07:40 AM
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Well im not going to cancel, its my only way of getting to the festival, once there im sure they will shut up, its the hour in the car and stop off at the greasy spoon im dreading the most.



They are new friends, so they probably think there so original with this crap there coming out with.



I think i will do one of two things



1. fall about laughing as loudly as i possilbly can for a few mintures and say omg iv never heard that before god your so funny, then make a serious face and say something like oh dear i think iv just wet myself laughing, all over your car seat too.



2. Throw one at em i know there gonna hate me for. See like me they are all of the pagan faith and in our faith we have a little saying that goes "harm it none". I believe that by being vegan i am certainly harming less - the animals, my own health and our enviornment. Though i know that one will probably get me stranded without a lift home, but if i have to use it then i jolly well will.



Ah meat eaters eh! some times they can be so up their own backsides.
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#7 Old 06-21-2007, 09:10 AM
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I usually put on a carefully blank expression, and talk to them like I am talking to a small, very dumb child.



"Ok, honey, if thats what you want to think, go right on ahead." *patpat* "There, there, now, come along now and calm down, there there."



Or sometimes I just ignore them. They are only looking for a recation. Lacking that, they soon get bored and move on, usually. Just keep in mind that ignoring means not only no verbal response, but no sarcastic glances or sighs or anything. 'Water off a duck's back' is what I always think to myself.
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#8 Old 06-22-2007, 08:23 AM
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TBH....it all just makes me wonder why you bother to go with them any place.

especially as you could end up with no lift back if things go from bad to worse

(thinking of all possibilities, a habit of mine anyway, always think ahead if you can)

Will there not be "one" vegan among you at the fest you told me you're going to?



I don't know what to say... or what you should say just at the moment.

Talk to me about it later if you want.
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#9 Old 06-22-2007, 08:26 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NiceDream View Post

Well im not going to cancel, its my only way of getting to the festival, once there im sure they will shut up, its the hour in the car and stop off at the greasy spoon im dreading the most.

yeah, cringe !!..... I don't know, maybe if this festival is ultra important to you and there is no public transport that has a drop off close enough, to go with them is all you got then huh ? Don't know if thats the case or not bout transport ?
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#10 Old 06-22-2007, 08:30 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Odalys View Post

i honestly would cancel on them, they seem like they're pretty immature and not going to try to discuss your veganism in an intelligent manner... It's going to be ignorant joke after ignorant joke. I wouldn't waste my time. Besides, there's plenty of people out there who are open minded and respectful.



But its up to you, if you can handle the jokes, then go for it...



Gotta 2nd that, if it were me, I'd wanna spew just thinking about it.
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#11 Old 06-22-2007, 08:41 AM
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If I can't insult them into stopping it, I normally inform them I find it really offensive and ask if they treat all their friends that way.



That normally works, but if not, they can take a hike.
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#12 Old 06-22-2007, 09:45 AM
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Im not so worried about getting stranded to be honest. I know others will be at the festival that i know well enough to either get a lift back with, leave early and catch the last train back with or stay over at someones place (packed clean undies, toothbrush and eyemake up remover).



Im hoping they wont keep it up for too long. I blame all this on my ex, if he hadnt of gone on about it to them they probably wouldnt know any different, could have stopped off at the cafe making the excuse i wanted a walk in the fresh air or needed the loo (and be gone for a long time). But no, hes already told them theres no way they will get me into a greesy spoon cafe where there is meat cooked and how ill not eat with them etc. OMG no i wont eat with them but for goodness sake he didnt have to tell them why.
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#13 Old 06-22-2007, 10:21 AM
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I'm fortunate in that my friends all seem to be understanding of my dietary choices, and many of them get a kick out of cooking veg*n things for me to eat. I do not tolerate people who make it an issue, or make fun of me. I don't mind when people are arguing with me in a teasing sort of way though.

Recently I was on a subway with my bf, my brother, and a few of his friends. One of his friends, who I've known for years, started drilling me on veg*n things and I was answering him back quickly and accurately. This woman sitting nearby was snickering to herself every time I shot one back at him. Made me wonder if she was veg*n too. :P Stuff like that doesn't bother me... but people being ignorant does, regardless of the subject matter, and thats what this guy sounds like to me. I hope your ride is pleasant enough.

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#14 Old 06-22-2007, 10:41 AM
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Some of my friends don't understand it either.



Have a good group of old friends from school though, which i only see on the holidays from uni lol, but they're ace... when we all go out to eat, whoever's organising it will check if the place is veg friendly!



Those people sound really, really immature. It's THEIR problem not yours, they are in the wrong for not respecting your beliefs. I'd ignore them, or tell them to enjoy their heart attacks... that'll make them think lol.
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#15 Old 06-22-2007, 01:30 PM
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I have found that if you let your friends know that you don't find the jokes funny but they are more hurtful, these friends will stop. If they don't stop, I don't think they are true friends and should probably be dropped. I have a group of friends now that really don't care what I eat, they ask genuine questions when they want to know and they think it is cool. My boss likes to tease me, but I know he is 100% joking and it doesn't bother me. If I were you, I would tell them straight up what you feel and then they can decide if they are true friends or not.
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#16 Old 06-28-2007, 12:14 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NiceDream View Post

Same old dig, old jokes when will they stop.



Know when you get that feeling?



I get "jokes" like that all the time and honestly after a while it makes me want to people sometimes lol



But as others have said.. you should tell them how you feel and if they still keep doing it then they're obviously not good friends.
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#17 Old 06-28-2007, 02:44 PM
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I'm with Rabid Child on this one, I don't usually care as long as it is good-natured. This is going to sound weird, but I actually preferred the days when my friends used to ask questions and debate about my vegetarianism - back in college and just post-college. Now that I am a mommy and hang out with a lot of other moms, many of them older - the subject is kind of taboo. I'm not complaining, I mean, it's nice when people respect your views...but in a weird way I miss being able to talk about it!



Sorry your friends are giving you a rough time. From the conversation you described, it sounds like you can hold your own though!

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#18 Old 07-18-2007, 10:10 AM
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I have had the experience of going out to lunch with friends, and when they find out I'm a vegetarian, they DON'T order any meat item for lunch! They choose a vegetarian alternative. Isn't that great?
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