Vego and non vego relationship - Page 3 - VeggieBoards
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#61 Old 07-25-2007, 01:49 PM
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Thats true. Im pretty sure he was raised eating mostly meat. I never see him eat vegetables. I know of other people who claim they "need meat" to live. One girl who was trying to be vegetarian for just a short time and claimed she "needed blood" and was craving it so bad. WTF???
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#62 Old 07-25-2007, 03:10 PM
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It's all in their heads. I actually grew up in a meat eating family. I think the difference is that our meals didn't completely revolve around meat. My Dad prefers to have meat with his meals, but he's not an agressive meat eater (I know you know the type of person I'm talking about). I don't ever remember my Mom saying "you have to eat your meat." I was pretty much free to make my own choices. I know many veggies grew up in a meat-and-potatoes family, which must have been hard. Switching to veg wasn't as hard as it could have been now that I think about it



Craving blood? EWWW! I worked at a burger place and restaurant. Seeing the blood pooling underneath the meat patties... *gag* Makes me think of human "meat." I've seen a lot of autopsies and dead bodies (Classes, real crime shows, etc) and trust me, we don't look any different than animals. We're all related...



I think it helps someone go veg when they have meat replacements. I think they helped me get through the tough times. Mmmm... veggie crumbles! So much better than blood death.
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#63 Old 07-26-2007, 12:12 PM
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i could never reject someone on the basis of what they eat. Its not my choice what they eat its their own bussiness and I'd expect soemone to treat me the same way.
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#64 Old 07-26-2007, 03:30 PM
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i could never reject someone on the basis of what they eat. Its not my choice what they eat its their own bussiness and I'd expect soemone to treat me the same way.



Good practice fizzy.... I sorta think along the same lines and really if ever have problems with people accepting my vegetarianism
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#65 Old 07-26-2007, 04:25 PM
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i could never reject someone on the basis of what they eat. Its not my choice what they eat its their own bussiness and I'd expect soemone to treat me the same way.



I used to think the same way, but could really see how hard it could be in the long-run if the other person didn't share the same beliefs. If you get married, will there be meat at the wedding? If you have kids, will they eat meat? I honestly get really gross out when my boyfriend eats meat (he rarely does now). When you cook at home, will they insist on meat-filled meals? I won't cook or buy meat personally and when I get my house, I don't want any in my home. This could potentially be a problem if the other isn't willing to compromise. I know it goes both ways, but if your beliefs are so incredibly strong, there will be problems. I think it also depends on why you're a vegetarian on whether or not it could work. If you're a strong Christian, you wouldn't date a devil worshipper. I'm a vegetarian for animal rights and health reasons. I would never date a hunter, fisher, or anyone else who murders.



I think it's great to give someone a try, even if they're not vegetarian/vegan. If they're discouraging you, insisting on eating meat at every meal, teasing, and won't see your side... well, how could that really work out?



I'm not unrealistic about compatibility, I know differences are normal and actually good in relationships. For me though, this would be too big of a difference if I had to do it all over again (find a new man). Converting someone to almost complete vegetarianism is hard work!
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#66 Old 07-26-2007, 09:06 PM
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I have learned from experience that I just can't force myself to "respect" (would you respect any other murderer?) a person's choice to eat meat. I can be as nice as I possibly can be, but when it comes down to it, inside my head I'm still thinking that what they are doing is INCREDIBLY wrong.

I wouldn't date a rapist or a murderer. I wouldn't date a dog abuser or a child abuser. I wouldn't date a meat eater.

Sometimes I wish my feelings on this wouldn't be so strong, because I know of a few wonderful guys... but I can't change my deeply-rooted beliefs.
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#67 Old 07-27-2007, 07:52 PM
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Originally Posted by starseed13 View Post

One girl who was trying to be vegetarian for just a short time and claimed she "needed blood" and was craving it so bad. WTF???



That so just puts it in perspective doesnt it!!!!
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#68 Old 07-28-2007, 01:09 AM
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i could never reject someone on the basis of what they eat. Its not my choice what they eat its their own bussiness and I'd expect soemone to treat me the same way.

People who consistently believe in AR don't see it as "their own business": to them, choices that affect the interests and lives of animals are hardly personal choices.

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#69 Old 07-28-2007, 04:16 AM
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I have learned from experience that I just can't force myself to "respect" (would you respect any other murderer?) a person's choice to eat meat. I can be as nice as I possibly can be, but when it comes down to it, inside my head I'm still thinking that what they are doing is INCREDIBLY wrong.

I wouldn't date a rapist or a murderer. I wouldn't date a dog abuser or a child abuser. I wouldn't date a meat eater.

Sometimes I wish my feelings on this wouldn't be so strong, because I know of a few wonderful guys... but I can't change my deeply-rooted beliefs.



I was going to say almost exactly the same thing! Thanks for saving me the time and thanks for caring and for being uncompromising.
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#70 Old 07-28-2007, 04:32 AM
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Originally Posted by tasha_s1298 View Post

I have learned from experience that I just can't force myself to "respect" (would you respect any other murderer?) a person's choice to eat meat. I can be as nice as I possibly can be, but when it comes down to it, inside my head I'm still thinking that what they are doing is INCREDIBLY wrong.

I wouldn't date a rapist or a murderer. I wouldn't date a dog abuser or a child abuser. I wouldn't date a meat eater.

Sometimes I wish my feelings on this wouldn't be so strong, because I know of a few wonderful guys... but I can't change my deeply-rooted beliefs.



Good way to put it.
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#71 Old 07-28-2007, 05:16 AM
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I don't think I could be in a serious relationship with a meat-eater. There would be too much of a difference in basic values between us if the person thought it ok to eat meat.
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#72 Old 07-28-2007, 07:03 AM
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My meat eating friend came round and scoffed all my veggie food, could this be a conversion, said he really enjoyed ;-)
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#73 Old 07-28-2007, 07:38 AM
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I wouldn't date a rapist or a murderer. I wouldn't date a dog abuser or a child abuser. I wouldn't date a meat eater.

There is a difference. A rapist or murderer would presumably be acting out of cruel intent, and be well aware that their actions were unethical. A meat-eater acts out of selfishness if anything - not cruelty. Would you be friends with a meat eater?



Personally, regardless of how I judge the character and actions of a meat-eater, our world-view would simply be too different to form the basis of a viable relationship. On a practical level, I don't like being around meat, and I certainly wouldn't have it in my home, so a relationship would be effectively impossible.
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#74 Old 07-28-2007, 10:11 AM
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I have been in my current relationship now for over a year. I am a vegetarian trying to convert to vegan (tried before but difficult, and since reading Skinny ***** more determined). Anyway, he is a very understanding Omni. We live together and he only ever buys meat to cook at home if I am away or when we eat out. However lately since I've put on 4 kgs from being on the Pill (yeah tell me about, but I am off it now), we have started to cook separate meals etc... and obviously spending less time together as we now eat whenever we want.



So... that how I started thinking about long term problems of being with an omni. 'We discussed marriage... this would be fine one day but we can't agree on what food we would serve at the wedding, as he believes that the guests should have a choice. But I think, it's my 'big day' so I want to have a vegetarian menu - my wedding, my choice - and u know, it's mostly about what the bride wants! So we have agreed if we were to marry to have a small wedding with just the parents.



Next issue, what about children. I don't really want children, but I like to keep my choices open, and I would want my children raised as vegetarians (still exploring veganism for myself). He wants to give them a CHOICE. They don't get to choose their parents and they don't know how to cook for themselves. They will have a choice when they move out of home, and I hope by then I have raised them to be vegetarian in terms of loving animals and having compassion!



The thing is, I can't get why someone who 'loves' animals can eat meat. Or someone who really loves being fit thinks meat and diary products are good for their health. When I read to him that the level of protein in milk actually leaches calcium from bones, he wanted this fact to be QUANTIFIED otherwise he thinks it's propaganda. Also he feels vegetarians have to eat more - a lot of vegies to get enough iron that say a little piece of steak can provide.



I can't make someone who doesn't want to know the truth hear the facts... I just don't think long term a relationship where both parties feel so strongly about certain values could actually work no matter how understanding they are right now.



What I am saying is, should we wait till it's too late (have kids) to realise we are not compatible?
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#75 Old 07-28-2007, 11:31 AM
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Originally Posted by frizzy_fairy

i could never reject someone on the basis of what they eat. Its not my choice what they eat its their own bussiness and I'd expect soemone to treat me the same way.



Sevensea

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People who consistently believe in AR don't see it as "their own business": to them, choices that affect the interests and lives of animals are hardly personal choices.

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Your statement in content is correct



But I really wonder if that is what fizzy was meaning



My spin was that it was about the one liners that have been said by meat eaters in the previous posts out of arrogance ,stupidity or just lack of respect of the other persons veg/an diet .



There are many examples of relationships on the board , that when mutual respect was given over the dietary intake , that the meat eater all most gives up meat or becomes veg/an or a that least respects the over persons veg/an diet



Mutual respect does not mean agreement or belief in what the other person activity
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#76 Old 07-28-2007, 06:20 PM
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I've never been in a relationship but I think I could date an omni but it would be kinda hard. Obviously they'd have to really be respective of my veganism choice, and yeah, I wouldn't be able to cook meat or anything like that.

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#77 Old 07-28-2007, 06:45 PM
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I had known my husband for almost six years (married for two of them) when I decided to becom a vegetarian. I thought he'd have something to say about it, but he was immediately supportive of the decision. Of course, supportive also meant he was not converting. So, what has happened since then?



Well, when I make dinner we both eat veg. I buy him meat products and sometimes cook them for him (but that has become more and more rare and I doubt my ability to season things I won't taste). Slowly he's started to eat more and more vegetarian dishes (today I talked him into a veggie burger). He also has a problem with seeing anything veg-esque (tofuti-cutie bars, almond butter, soy milk) as 'my food' and won't touch it unless I offer it.



Will my hubby ever be a vegetarian? Probably not. But you know what? We don't agree completely on religion or politics either. I'm so happy that I have someone who is not going to mock or put me down and I try to be as respectful of his decision (he has cut down on his meat consumption and converted to free range meat to support me) as he is of mine.
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#78 Old 07-29-2007, 11:14 AM
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I can be as nice as I possibly can be, but when it comes down to it, inside my head I'm still thinking that what they are doing is INCREDIBLY wrong.



Exactly. Resentment is there too... and disappointment. When I see my boyfriend eating meat, I honestly don't want to kiss him or be around him. He really noticed this and cut back on his meat so much. He feels he'll get "punished" later if he eats meat, but it's not like I'm going out of my way to do it, it's how I'm feeling.
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#79 Old 07-29-2007, 03:46 PM
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There is a difference. A rapist or murderer would presumably be acting out of cruel intent, and be well aware that their actions were unethical. A meat-eater acts out of selfishness if anything - not cruelty. Would you be friends with a meat eater?



Personally, regardless of how I judge the character and actions of a meat-eater, our world-view would simply be too different to form the basis of a viable relationship. On a practical level, I don't like being around meat, and I certainly wouldn't have it in my home, so a relationship would be effectively impossible.







Well, .... friends with a meat eater? It just all depends on the meat eater, but to answer that question simply:

Yes, I would be friends with a meat eater, but being friends with a meat eater and dating one is an entirely different situation. And as people have already pointed out on here, living with and marrying a meat eater is much more difficult situation than being friends with one.



**Quick note**I only mean to compare a meat eater with a murderer when he is knowingly and willingly eating meat regardless of being educated about the cruelty in it.

And also I want to point out that many murderers operate by the same motive: selfishness.





As for the rapist and murderer being compared to a meat-eater.. I dont see much difference at all. Say for example a person is a murderer and he or she hires a hit man...obviously what they are doing is cruel and unethical, regardless for their reason behind it. Well if a meat-eater is aware that the money they invest in the chunk of steak is going to pay the people to abuse and neglect an animal, whats the difference? There really isn't any. In each case both people are aware that their money is going to harm another living being. In both cases its cruel and unethical.

I know alot of people might throw out the argument that even though they are both wrong, murdering a human is on an entirely different degree just based on the fact that we are a superior being then an animal. Well, unfortunately, if you supply that argument, then you are acting with speciesism, which is exactly what vegetarianism/veganism is trying to erase from society.

Even though I'm sure even most vegetarians would opt to save their mother/siblings/children from a house fire before they went back for the animals, and by doing so they are participating in speciesism, we must realize that using it to determine which life to save and using it as an excuse to kill things is entirely different. Sure, we are in some aspects superior beings, we must realize that killing is killing, abuse is abuse, pain is pain. Any intentional abuse to any living thing, to human or to animals, is equally cruel and unethical.

So yes, I can compare a murderer to an (aware) meat-eater.
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#80 Old 07-29-2007, 04:56 PM
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As for the rapist and murderer being compared to a meat-eater.. I dont see much difference at all.

Your argument appears to contradict itself. Would you befriend murderers and rapists? If you equate murder and rape with meat-eating, then surely it's speciesist to socialise with meat-eaters but not murderers and rapists? In order to be consistent, you would need to socially spurn all of them equally.
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#81 Old 07-29-2007, 04:57 PM
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I usually only post agreements, happy thoughts, compliments etc because I believe it to be a waste of my time to argue in this format.



But I am so completely appauled by all the self-righteous vegetarians who compare manslaughter, and rape to eating meat. Murder, *and especially rape* are nowhere near the category of animal slaughter for food. I've been vegetarian for years, it came along with a huge shift in my moral grounds and a wonderful, yet long and tough spiritual awakening.



I have a mouthful of words to say to comments that equate these things that are not equatable but I'll leave it at this:



I love all animals, humans included. Many of us make mistakes, some with open eyes and some blindly. In either case it is not mine to judge. Could I be in a relationship with a meat-eater? Possibly. Could I be in a relationship with a vegetarian? Possibly. It certainly has much more to do with the respect the person gives me and what kind of a person he is, than wheather or not he chooses the vegetarian fight.
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#82 Old 07-29-2007, 06:37 PM
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Your argument appears to contradict itself. Would you befriend murderers and rapists? If you equate murder and rape with meat-eating, then surely it's speciesist to socialise with meat-eaters but not murderers and rapists? In order to be consistent, you would need to socially spurn all of them equally.



Hm. Your point is good besides the fact that you messed up that it wouldn't be speciest, considering murderers and rapists and meat-eaters are humans, of the same species.

But either way, I believe any abuse is equally immoral.



Well...hmm. Maybe it would better suited to compare an aware meat-eater to a child abuser? Afterall there are studies out there saying pigs are rather intelligent, smarter than dogs even and as about as smart as a 3 year old (I think if I remember correctly?).



And I'm sorry for offending anyone, I was just simply trying to get the point across that meat-eating is not excusable or something that is simply a "personal choice". Because it affects and harms other living beings, its not just a food preference. If you have the ability, you have the obligation. And if someone is knowingly passing up responsibility for their actions when they are completely capable of changing, then I wouldn't want to date that kind of person.



And I will admit, I'm speaking more out of my own experience. I despise my rapist just as much as I despise meat corporations. But honestly, if i was given the chance to eliminate either my rapist or someone who intentionally causes harm to 100 (atleast) animals a year and gets a sick pleasure out of doing it or shoving it in a vegetarian's face/making fun of a vegetarian, I don't think I would be able to choose, I would have to shoot both. (And no, I'm not saying I'm going to go out and shoot people, because murdering is wrong...its just ridiculous to murder murderers to show that murder is wrong).

So once again, I'm just speaking from personal experience and I'm sorry to offend anyone, but its just my personal opinion that all abuse is equally unethical.
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#83 Old 07-29-2007, 06:51 PM
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I usually only post agreements, happy thoughts, compliments etc because I believe it to be a waste of my time to argue in this format.



But I am so completely appauled by all the self-righteous vegetarians who compare manslaughter, and rape to eating meat. Murder, *and especially rape* are nowhere near the category of animal slaughter for food. I've been vegetarian for years, it came along with a huge shift in my moral grounds and a wonderful, yet long and tough spiritual awakening.



I have a mouthful of words to say to comments that equate these things that are not equatable but I'll leave it at this:



I love all animals, humans included. Many of us make mistakes, some with open eyes and some blindly. In either case it is not mine to judge. Could I be in a relationship with a meat-eater? Possibly. Could I be in a relationship with a vegetarian? Possibly. It certainly has much more to do with the respect the person gives me and what kind of a person he is, than whether or not he chooses the vegetarian fight.



Well for one, I feel offended, but I understand, why you would choose to call me self-righteous. But I assure you, I'm not. In no way was I trying to be mean or stuck-up or full of myself by comparing the two. I do not claim to be perfect myself. Sometimes when its just easier to eat what my family eats, I will eat the noodles with the eggs in them, but I realize that makes me no better than the person neglecting and abusing the chickens.

And just as I want to point out again, I'm not speaking out of some kind of ignorance, atleast about rape. I think my rapist is just as bad as some of the people who abuse the dogs I get in at my Humane Society, and I think the (aware!) meat-eater is just as bad as the dog abuser.

And once again, I'm sorry my opinion offended you, ... I just didn't think it would come to name-calling. :S
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#84 Old 07-29-2007, 08:45 PM
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In all honesty- this is certainly not the first post like yours I've read and I was absolutely not name-calling at you. It was more of a general rant. No personal attack or questioning, and I feel for you with respect to your past experiences. I meant no offense, and I respect your right to voice your opinions.



However, there are major flaws in these kinds of arguments. I tend to leave it at the most simplistic view: that murder and rape are illegal and meat-eating is not. Please understand that it's not that I have no sympathy for your POV, I just find it too extreme.



BTW: Welcome to the board! I just noticed you've only been around a few days and I hope you're finding it as much fun as I do. Don't let a little argument distract you from all the fabulous reads and info here
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#85 Old 07-29-2007, 09:36 PM
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In all honesty- this is certainly not the first post like yours I've read and I was absolutely not name-calling at you. It was more of a general rant. No personal attack or questioning, and I feel for you with respect to your past experiences. I meant no offense, and I respect your right to voice your opinions.



However, there are major flaws in these kinds of arguments. I tend to leave it at the most simplistic view: that murder and rape are illegal and meat-eating is not. Please understand that it's not that I have no sympathy for your POV, I just find it too extreme.



BTW: Welcome to the board! I just noticed you've only been around a few days and I hope you're finding it as much fun as I do. Don't let a little argument distract you from all the fabulous reads and info here



Alright..I realize that a few of my views are far too radical for most people. But..even with my views...even if they might seem mean.. I dont want to come across as mean or a know-it-all brat or anything like that. I mean, honestly..just because I believe all abuse is equally unethical, doesn't mean I go around hating meat-eaters like some people hate rapists or murderers. I believe in forgiveness, and I really believe that any body that chooses to hold hate in their hearts are punishing themselves. But anyway.. so even with my opinion, you can be reassured that I'm not a self-righteous hating vegetarian. I love all my meat-eating friends, I just wish they would open their hearts and eyes a little bit!

But honestly, I really am sorry for alarming you. I forget that sometimes that on the internet people can't hear your "tone" and might actually take me for someone completely insane or something.



And I also want to let you know that I too realize there were are flaws in my own beliefs... but thats the thing..they are beliefs, just the way I feel. I guess its like some people can point out flaw after flaw after flaw in religions, but people are still going to believe and have faith in their God. So yea.. I'm not relying on every opinion of mine to be 100% completely logical or unflawed. :P



But Thankyou! on the welcome. I really like it here. I just hope people aren't intimidated or not interested in talking to me now that I've kind of made a butt out of myself by so bluntly stating a radical opinion. :P lol.
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#86 Old 07-29-2007, 10:54 PM
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I am with an omni, he eats what I cook and if he has meat he cooks it himself and lights incense or does whatever he can to keep the smell from being strong. The only thing that bothers me about being in a relationship with a meat eater is he dosen't understand how I feel about animals.
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#87 Old 07-30-2007, 05:57 AM
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Hm. Your point is good besides the fact that you messed up that it wouldn't be speciest, considering murderers and rapists and meat-eaters are humans, of the same species.

But either way, I believe any abuse is equally immoral.

You misunderstand me. My point is that if you regard murderers and rapists as people you should socially exclude, and if you view meat-eaters as on a level with murderers and rapists, then by not socially excluding meat-eaters, you're implicitly practising speciesism by only socially excluding people for crimes against humans but not for equal crimes against animals.



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Well...hmm. Maybe it would better suited to compare an aware meat-eater to a child abuser? Afterall there are studies out there saying pigs are rather intelligent, smarter than dogs even and as about as smart as a 3 year old (I think if I remember correctly?).

The problem with this analogy is that it's too simplistic. It takes no account of social norms and conditioning. It's far easier to operate in a moral bubble when the entire world around you seems to condone what you do. A better analogy might be child brides in medieval Europe. Nobody at the time would have considered it unethical to marry a 12yr old girl and sleep with her, but we would now consider this highly immoral. Ethics can't be divorced from their surrounding social context, and people can't be judged as easily when such a context is taken into consideration.



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And I'm sorry for offending anyone, I was just simply trying to get the point across that meat-eating is not excusable or something that is simply a "personal choice".

There's a difference between "excusable" and "understandable" though. I agree that it's facile to justify meat-eating as a "personal choice", but I equally feel that we should make a little effort to understand why people make the choices that they do.
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#88 Old 07-30-2007, 08:50 AM
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Well, ....



**Quick note**I only mean to compare a meat eater with a murderer when he is knowingly and willingly eating meat regardless of being educated about the cruelty in it.

And also I want to point out that many murderers operate by the same motive: selfishness.



As for the rapist and murderer being compared to a meat-eater.. I dont see much difference at all.

So yes, I can compare a murderer to an (aware) meat-eater.





Hi tasha ....Just out of interest , you have a great love of dogs and feed your dogs you own and work with .



You are aware of where the meat comes from .



I'm not question the dog eating meat but with your views in your quote , you must have worked through some rational to say its o/k to feed meat to your dogs and I was just wondering what is it
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#89 Old 07-30-2007, 10:50 AM
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I didn't get involved in the rapist/murderer convo, but feel like tasha was saying she had standards when chosing who she dated. There is nothing wrong with having men meet your qualifications before you date them. No one should ever have to settle for "Mr. Okay, we have some of the same beliefs, but not about what matters most to me" or "Mr. I don't care about anyone but myself."



And one quick thing...

<that murder and rape are illegal and meat-eating is not.>



Just because meat-eating isn't illegal, that's doesn't make it right. There are some laws that in are place that are absolutely ridiculous. Did you know that in Alabama, Putting salt on a railroad track may be punishable by death?
danakscully64 is offline  
#90 Old 07-30-2007, 02:17 PM
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 4,482
Well I just turned the tele on and they were talking a study of vegan's they done at a university in NZ and the next catch phrase it seems is a Vegan sexual .....one who does not have sex with some one who is a meat eater because there bodies are made up of animal parts
bluegold is offline  
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