Quote:
Originally Posted by
Hang~Ten~Honey 
You ended the relationship and you no longer have that privilege of knowing his feelings or his daily comings and goings. If he would like to continue to share those things with you, then that's great but if he hasn't given you any signals of this, then I'd take that as a hint that he is not, nor ever may be, willing to be friends.
That's a good way of putting it.
Another thing to remember is that people who did not want the relationship to end have a lot of fantasies about the person calling them up and saying, "I miss you so much! I now realize how wrong I was to ever leave you. I've totally changed and I think we can work this out, let's run away together, I'll love you forever!!!" So just by talking to the person, you might get their hopes up a little bit, and when that fantasy isn't fullfilled (and it never is) it's just another little let down, a new reminder that that will *never* happen and a reminder that you want things things your way and not the way they want them. Once again, it's an ego blow, things are on your terms, not theirs. It's a power inequity. You hold the power, so no friendship is possible.
I'd be interested in hearing what the OP's experiences being dumped are.
I've always been the dumpee, (except for one case where it was mutual, but still hurt). It can take years to get over. I have at least one person it's been 10 years and I still am afraid to talk to him. I just don't want to be reminded of that time of my life and what he did to me.
You know last night on Idol it was D. ROss night:
Quote:
Set me free, why don't cha babe
Get out my life, why don't cha babe
'Cause you don't really love me
You just keep me hangin' on
You don't really need me
But you keep me hangin' on
Why do you keep a coming around
Playing with my heart?
Why don't you get out of my life
And let me make a new start?
Let me get over you
The way you've gotten over me
Set me free, why don't cha babe
Let me be, why don't cha babe
'Cause you don't really love me
You just keep me hangin' on
Now you don't really want me
You just keep me hangin' on
You say although we broke up
You still wanna be just friends
But how can we still be friends
When seeing you only breaks my heart again
And there ain't nothing I can do about it
Woo, set me free, why don't cha babe
Woo, get out my life, why don't cha babe
Set me free, why don't cha babe
Get out my life, why don't cha babe
You claim you still care for me
But your heart and soul needs to be free
Now that you've got your freedom
You wanna still hold on to me
You don't want me for yourself
So let me find somebody else Hey!
Why don't you be a man about it
And set me free
Now you don't care a thing about me
You're just using me
Go on, get out, get out of my life
And let me sleep at night
'Cause you don't really love me
You just keep me hangin' on...