I really just want to rant ... about my relationship between me and my family and me and my beau's family [if you can call it that].
First off, there is my own mother. This woman treats me like dirt. Like I should just die and be out of her hair. She keeps trying to "con" me off my diet. When I was going to Family Night my mother would ridicule me in front of our family, call my diet stupid, and make false claims of buying me "tons of food" that I "never ate, threw away, never made, etc." Now ... these claims of hers are false, though not in entirety. She buys half a recipe or less, or if she's feeling really horrid she'll buy all but one item [which happens to be hard to find]. Sometimes she'll skip a recipe I requested completely. So then my beau takes me out and buys the rest of the food I need.
I am very sick, due to food allergies. However, my mother still tries to get me to consume dairy. This is not only against my beliefs, but I am allergic to dairy. Then she started yelling about how I "need whole wheat" in my diet. This really threw me off, considering I had a severe allergic reaction wheat in my allergy test [it hived and all the skin around the injection site died and flaked off ... there's still a light spot there]. She never checks ingredients labels, then gets mad when I refuse to eat the non-vegan foods she bought.
Then comes the trifles of eating out. I prefer not to eat out anyway. But she does all this, "We can't go anywhere to eat because you have to be a ****ing vegan!" She'll yell for hours on end about how our choices to eat out are so severely limited all because of me.
Next comes pets. My beau and I went and got a puppy. My mother now says it is hers. I trained it, I take it out, I feed it, take it for walks, take it to Allen's house so it can have a yard. My mother appreciates none of this and actually dumped off my rabbit and my Lovebirds to some strangers, and yet if I refer to the pup as a "family pet" I get, "Excuse me?!?! The dog belongs to who pays for it!" To which I nearly answered, "Then you owe Allen $200 for what he spent on J.B. the day we got him and you owe me $200 for the rabbit and birds you dumped." I kept my mouth shut, because Allen begged me with his facial expression.
Next comes my father, who has not spoken to me in years, he hasn't even tried. He e-mails my sister and asks about me. That's all. He's never bothered to try and get a hold of me, first-hand. He has hated me since I moved out of his place because he kept calling me a "slut" and accusing of having sex in his bed [I was 12 at the time, and I was obviously still a virgin].
Then comes my beau's parents. His mother hates my guts because I am a vegan atheist. She expressed "concerns" about my beliefs and accused me of trying to "force" Allen to go vegan. She eventually told him he could not see me anymore, and his father told him he would get kicked out if we didn't work stuff out with his mother [his parents are divorced, but communicate regularly and are best friends]. This brought Allen to tell them we split. They have thought this for 3 months or so now. It really makes things hard on us. I'm not sure it was the right thing to do, but even though it is hard ... it's easier than it would have been were we to fight back.
I'm losing my mind. I can't find work. I can't move out. I can't move on with my life. I'm really going to snap soon if things don't get better in my life.
I just don't know where to turn.