Originally Posted by rainbowmoon
I appreciate your imput, everybody.
I know that being clingy and possessive is not a good trait. When I know I have to be away from my bf, I start to feel panicky...and that is just pathetic. Its not just normal clingyness, I really don't think...its more of an issue with my anxiety and related problems and my bf being a "safe" and trustworthy person when other people who maybe SHOULD be that way aren't. Its not healthy but I feel so overwhelmed by the seperation anxiety I feel that its difficult for me to break free of it. I may still go see a therapist.
Okay, Take it from me. I'm exactly like you. Anxiety, clingy as heck with my boyfriend of 3 years. I'm with him almost everyday. I'm surprised he hasn't left me yet. He's starting to talk to another girl- online- jsut like he used to talk to me before we started to officially date- He's talking to her because I'm suffocating him- she's a breath of fresh air for my guy- hey, im definetly not cool with it- but it's my own fault.
I just thought I would tell you what could happen if he doesn't break up with you and you're too clingy still- he could find someone on the side.
It hurts, I know. It physically hurts to not be with him. No one else makes you feel as good as he does- everything upsets you when he's gone.
My boyfriend is fishing with his Dad in the ocean for a day and a half- left today at 4 and is coming back Wednesday at 1130 PM. Last year on that fishing trip i tried to call him a s h i t load- this year- today- I only text messeged him once- "Just gave abbott cigarettes- how was the drive?"
He hasn't replied, and I texted him like 1.5 hours ago. Last year, when he wouldn't reply or pick up- i would just keep calling. I just suck it up now- I understand that if I call too much, he'll flock to his new female friend and complain to her about me- *When a guy is complaining to another girl, that other girl will say any thing to look better than whomever he's complaining about*
None the less- the only thing that helps me is cigarettes and sucking it up.
I have literally no friends- I don't hang out with any of them, anyhow. So there aren't many options for me while he's gone.
I'm still not good at letting him go out with his friends... now it's even worse because i'm freaked out he's going out and meeting up with his new female friend... or calling her drunk... or text messeging her like he does sometimes... it hurts so much- but I need to learn how to trust him and myself- We aren't going to last if I keep this **** up- and I want to last.
You have to ask yourself- yell to yourself- force yourself to listen-
Do you want to be with him in the long run?
I want to marry my boyfriend. I'm going to start giving him more space- ya know- Not see him until the afternoons at first. And then not visiting him while he's working. And then seeing him in the morning, and not hte afternoon some days. With in a few weeks I need to get used to going a day or two with out seeing him.
It's a building process- and it scares me too, it hurts me too.
I don't think girls like us need therapy- clingy with boyfriend just means more communcation with self and boyfriend is necessary- less phone calls and visits... it's disciplin.