I am not sure how to handle my dd's friends/family when it comes to milk.Since my dd's friend is always drinking the stuff now my dd wants too as well.I try to explain to her that milk is not good for her to drink daily. I prefer the kids drink grain and nut *milks*.



When my dd's friends says her daddy said milk will make her strong and help her grow I am not sure how to respond.



I don't want to cause problems with the parents,but I don't want my dd to start believing what her friend is saying.



How do you keep your kids from wanting foods their friends eat/drink that you find unacceptable? I find other kids are eating to much processed,colored,low-nutrient foods,and as my kids age I am finding it harder to keep this stuff away from them.



Sara

just say grain/nut milk will make her even stronger and help her grow even more

My son eats what he wants. He does prefer soy milk over cow's milk... and he likes meat analogs. But I don't stop him when he wants meat or cheese.



Eating what he wants doesn't mean candy for supper of course.

I also let my kids eat what they want. I don't buy any meat or cows milk for the house, but I do buy my kids cheese pizza and cheese sticks. They drink soymilk though.



I tried to get my kids to eat vegan and it was a nightmare, my 5 year old is rebellious and complained daily, so I just decided to let her be her own person and make her own decisions about some of her food choices, like to eat or not to eat meat or dairy. Unless she eats at my house, its all meat free.



When shes at someone elses house, shes allowed to eat their meat meals, if she chooses to. My hope for my children is that in the longrun, when they are a little older and wiser, they will make healthier choices. All I can really do is lead by example, and be hopeful for her future choices.

I don't have kids yet, but I know that I do want them to be raised vegan, and frankly, I think that if your daughter's friends' parents know your how you wish for your daughter to eat (and they should--if you haven't told them, tell them, it's important!) and still try to get her to drink cow's milk, this a very rude and innapropriate thing to do. I would talk things over with her friends' parents and explain your intentions on how you bring up your daughter if you have not already, and if they continue to try and convince your daughter to drink and eat what they eat despite your talk with them, then maybe you either need to be more stern with them or perhaps avoid your daughter having contact with her friends' parents (like, have her friends come to your house). It might also be a good idea to explain to your daughter why you don't feed her what you do, if you haven't already, so she'll have a reason to say no to the disagreeable substances they try to give her.



Well, I hope that made sense...it is getting kind of late and my thoughts may be a bit jumbled.



Cassie

I think there's something to be said for balance. My daughter and I just visited my friend and while she was there, (as always), I simply let her participate in the way this family ate.



We have a rule about home...no meat, cheese or dairy products for the most part (very rarely I will buy dairy for her). But we started out omni, so I wouldn't think of expecting her to simply follow something just because it's what I do. I want her to make her own choices about what she eats and I want her choices to be informed. This family ate much more processed stuff and lots of dairy than we do. And when my daughter asks why, I tell her very clearly why I have chosen for us to eat differently. This is controversial here on the boards, and I'm not really posting this because I want someone to argue with me about it.



I will say that as for the milk issue in this instance, you should follow what you really believe is right. And you should explain to your daughter as best you can why....and if possible let her be part of the decision so that she doesn't think that you are always making the rules for her and that she doesn't have a say in the matter.



I think it's crucial that children actually be part of the decision (or at the very least they should feel like they are). I think when they have a feeling all of this stuff is forced on them and they have NO choice in the matter, that's when we have to worry about the ever worrisome rebellion factor. I know that's how I felt growing up under my parents strictly religious thumb.



B

I haven't encountered any problems yet with raising my 3yr old son vegan. People have been respectful and most even try and have some vegan food around for him. When he askes why some people eat meat or drink cow milk,I usually tell him that we've decided to not hurt animals by taking things from them and that other people might not think how we think. He's decided that all animals are the same, and that it's important to be nice to all of them.



If at a later point in time he does decide he wants to eat milk, drink cowmilk, ect. my husband and I will not buy it for him, and we don't allow animal products in our house.

I bet this other kid's dad is worried that you are a kook or something and neglecting your child's nutrition. Perhaps if you talk to him explain that you have done lots of research, including the most recent American Dietetic Association's position paper on vegetarian diets, and you would never neglect your child's health. And then explain that this is a deep ethical issue for you and to please not encourage your daughter to drink milk (whether or not you ultimately choose to let her drink it outside of the house, he doesn't need to work against you.)



From the position paper:


More stuff, aimed at professionals.



raising vegetarian children

I don't have kids, but for one boss I used to pick up her 8 y/o daughter from school and drive her home or to the office (thus making me enough of an expert to comment, IMO ).



Anyway, like all the other little sh.... kids she'd always want to go to McDonalds on the way from school. But there was to be no supporting animal slaughter on my watch (and just think of all the junk I prevented from going into her body (not to mention McDs stinks and I like to avoid it)).



She'd complain a lot, so eventually I just tattled to her Mum about her bugging me to go to McDs and thankfully her Mum told her she couldn't and had to listen to Uncle Kurm. And that was that.

Sara, you really need to talk to her friend's parents! What if your daughter was lactose intolerant or had a milk allergy and he was still trying to convince her to drink milk? I think you need to talk to the parents about your dietary choices and what your daughter's diet is like before you let her go over to play again. You don't have to be mean or threatening about it, but just explain why you live the way you do and tell them that the grain and nut milks she drinks at home have calcium, vitamin D, vitamin A, just like milk does (as well as any other nutrient issues). They might just be concerned about her welfare, but if you explain to them nicely, they should be fine with your decision and will stop offering her animal foods and drinks. I mean, what if he was trying to offer her chicken nuggets or something?



Basically, if they can't respect your wishes, simply don't let your daughter go over to their house anymore. You shouldn't worry about starting trouble with them, because it sounds like they started the trouble first by trying to get her to drink milk when your daughter probably told them she shouldn't/couldn't drink it.



You might also find that keeping your daughter at home during meal times and snack times will make it so she doesn't want to eat/drink what they have. If she's full and not thirsty all she has to say is that she's eaten already or not hungry/thirsty.

I waffle between wanting my daughter to become Vegan and waiting to let her make her own descisions. I believe that this truly is something that each person has to decide for themselves.



I am very lucky that my 5 year old 1) doesn't like meat or dairy much anyway and 2) is compassionate enough to understand that she is eating a live animal. She tells me that she'll be Vegan when she turns 6.



I don't know about that, but I really do think that each human being has the right to choose all of the directions of their lives. On the other hand, I DO limit the junk food and the fast food, as I do believe that it is a parent's duty to keep their child healthy, and to teach them how to have a healthy life.



I don't know if this helps. I don't tell me daughter that she can't have ice cream, chicken nuggets and such, but she DOES understand that that sort of food involves animal suffering. She is sorting it out right now, and since she really doesn't LIKE that stuff (even ice cream) I assume that she'll make the compassionate choice when she is ready.



Good Luck.

i don't know. my son is six and he's been vegan since he was 16 months old. he often waxes poetic about how he'll one day try meat and/or dairy...but every time it's come down to that, when he's been offered something, he's said, "no thanks, not today. i'll try it another day." i guess we've been pretty clear about why we don't want to consume animal products unless we have no choice, and i guess he sort of gets that it IS a choice he can make and that's the difference between him and his omni friends. their parents would never under any circumstances allow them to give up animal products. funny, huh?