Bethanie, yeah, I really need a hobby or something. I love being busy and out and about. I hate being stuck at home or doing things by myself. I've gone out plenty of times by myself and did things, but it didn't make me feel any better. It made me think more, and then I'd get bored and would dread the long walk uphill home. Yesterday was a very beautiful day. After coming home from the Knowledge Festival at our school, I said "Hey, I should find someone to go to the mall with me!" I called a couple people, either got no answer or people were working, then checked to see who was online... no one. So I played the Sims for three hours. One of my friends called me back. "Why did you call?" "I was looking for someone to go to the mall with..." "Gee, you sound tired." "Yeah...tired and bored." "Well, okay, bye." *hangs up* (WTF?)
I guess that's part of my problem... I was so used to dropping what I was doing to go do what my friends wanted to do, but whenever I wanted to do something, nobody would do it with me. That's how I lost my best friend. Now, I don't really have anyone. I hang out with some of my guy friends on occasion... but, haha, they both have crushes on me, so it's awkward.
It's weird though... I'm fine now...
Why do I love him though? He can relate to me. What I'm going through, he has gone through or is going through now. He cares about me. Just some of the things he says or does makes me feel loved. He's considerate, trustworthy, honest. When I first met him, he was acting like how I would have acted around someone I liked. In the past, if a guy I liked held my hand, my hand would be the one shaking. I'd be scared to make the first move. If it were him and I with a bunch of friends, I would talk to my friends so I wouldn't have to talk to him and get nervous. If I was scared that he didn't like me back, I'd go off on my own. He did all of that, while I sat back thinking "Eh, this looks familiar... it's cute... weird though how I'm not acting the same." I guess I was comfortable with him from day one.