Vegetarian/Vegan Dating - VeggieBoards
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#1 Old 04-01-2006, 11:35 AM
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I am curious about other people's experiences with dating, especially things like where you've met any vegetarians/vegans in real life, as well as any experiences with dating clubs/online dating/boards, etc.



I've been out of the loop for almost 10 years now, and am going through a very ugly divorce. Obviously as I have no idea how long this will drag out, i'm not in any position to date right now... but even if I was, I wouldn't really know how to go about it.



Although my soon-to-be-ex (I hope!) is vegan, it's about the only thing we have in common, as I'm a pretty strict vegetarian who occasionally eats cheese. He has some pretty severe personality disorders (NPD, BPD), which he refuses to get help for, and has affected everything. I have 2 vegetarian boys, 6 & 8, and can't imagine really dating as a vegetarian, much less with kids. While I do have friends that are not vegetarian, they're pretty cool about it, since I'm the only one who cooks- and they'll eat whatever they didn't have to cook, lol. Any personal relationship would absolutely have to be with a vegetarian, as I'm turned off physically by people who aren't



Because there are few, if any, vegetarians where we live, I can't see that at some point I'd just 'run into' anyone to date... so I'm assuming the only other option is dating services online? There's no possibility that I could start off with anyone who isn't already vegetarian- although all of my previous relationships (besides this one, and it was one of the biggest reasons we even got involved to begin with) were with 'friends'...who became vegetarians as a requirement to date. As far as I know, they are all still vegetarian... but where I'm at now in life, and with 2 children, I don't think I'd have the patience to work with someone who isn't already vegetarian, like I did in the past.



I guess I'm trying to gauge how difficult it will be to 'begin' dating once I'm single again, if/when I feel ready to. I don't have a problem staying single, and I'm not even sure I'll want to.... to be honest, I wouldn't even qualify what's been going on with my ex for years as being a 'relationship'... so I'm not really worried that I'll have to deal with any of that 'rebounding' divorced people have to be careful about. It would be nice, though, to just accidentally run across some great vegetarian person, and have them be the 'right' person to start something up with... but think the odds are slim to none.



That would mean the only other option would be to be 'actively' seeking a partner by getting into all the online dating clubs, right? Or is there some other way to go about being open to it, and to be 'in the right place at the right time'? The few online dating services seem like a lot of work- like dedicating a lot of time committing to the effort. Maye I'm just lazy in wanting someone to just 'fall into my lap' after a while?



I'd appreciate hearing stories of how/when you met your partner, or if you've done any kind of online dating, how your experience went.



Because of the situation I'm in now, and the fact that at this point I'm not even sure I want to get involved with anyone soon, it would be nice to just find some online friends (M/F) to chat with, be entertained by... that preferably are vegetarian... not so important for 'friends', but I've been a vegetarian for so long that I don't get much enjoyment in debating vegetarian issues, which non-vegs seem to like so much.



I've rambled on too much, I'm sure, so I'll end this by saying that I'd like to hear any stories/experiences other vegetarians can share regarding relationships.



Thanks.



c
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#2 Old 04-01-2006, 03:26 PM
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okcupid.com is a cool site (but most are not vegetarian). you can also try joining an animal rights group to meet other vegetarians or hanging out at any veggie restaraunts/cafes nearby.
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#3 Old 04-01-2006, 03:39 PM
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We've discussed this in a few threads.



the Best vegetarian dating site is still Veggiedate

http://www.veggiedate.com



http://vegweb.com has a free chat function in their personals section



Some people have / are dating other VB members. It's all personal choice. I like VB to be a support place though, so dating someone in this group makes it hard to feel free to air your problems, wants, desires and current life activities. I'd much rather date from one of the other websites. I have had more dates from Veggiedate than any other.



If you can afford to eat out.. eat at vegetarian or vegan restaurants. I think there are little clues that you are looking. Isn't there one that says if you have something "red" with you??? I thought I read that somewhere. Sometimes I bring a red ribbon with me, just in case a single veg*n guy read the same article.



I can't believe that there are No veggies in your area. Tell me a nearby city or location and I bet I will be able to find you at least one vegetarian restaurant in your area. I drive one hour to get to the "local" veggie places, but it's worth it.
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#4 Old 04-01-2006, 06:21 PM
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You might try this site: LovesOrganic.com



It's a newer site, but it's growing fast, and the profiles are recent.



Good luck in your search!
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#5 Old 04-01-2006, 06:53 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Trueveggie14 View Post


If you can afford to eat out.. eat at vegetarian or vegan restaurants. I think there are little clues that you are looking. Isn't there one that says if you have something "red" with you??? I thought I read that somewhere. Sometimes I bring a red ribbon with me, just in case a single veg*n guy read the same article.



I can't believe that there are No veggies in your area. Tell me a nearby city or location and I bet I will be able to find you at least one vegetarian restaurant in your area. I drive one hour to get to the "local" veggie places, but it's worth it.



I could drive about 300 miles or more either North or South, but there are absolutely no vegetarian restaurants, or even really veggie-friendly restaurants anywhere near us. There used to be, about 5-10 years ago, but it's slowly shifted completely the opposite direction. The only places I can think of are Chipotle (a chain owned by one of the burger companies), or the WholeFoods deli.... neither of which is really set up to 'hang around' and meet people. I live in a vegetarian desert, lol. There is a veggie group setup online, and from this area there are maybe 10 hopeful members- I've seen a couple of get-togethers planned, then cancelled... it might eventually be a group I could make friends with, but most of the 10 are women (haven't considered dating them yet), and the rest are married.

I really envy the cities that have veggie-friendly cultures- but this one isn't one of them.



I will check out the online places you've mentioned. I still would like to hear stories of where people met their veggie SO.



c
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#6 Old 04-03-2006, 02:15 PM
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I would say, for me at least, that the people I've met and developed a relationship with tend to begin as omnivores and, through having a strong relationship with me, become vegetarian or vegan. My current boyfriend was a meat eater when we met, but we really fell in love and learned a lot from each other. We developed new opinions and ways of seeing the world, and developed new lifestyles out of mutual understanding (hey, I used to be a smoker!) Now, he's been a vegetarian for over a year and is really happy with it.



I guess I feel like there are a lot of people out there who just don't KNOW about veg*nism, or haven't been inspired by someone to consider changing their diet. I wouldn't seclude myself from them, because I know that before I went veggie, all it would have taken was an inspirational person coming into my life and showing me new perspectives to make me see things differently.



So, there is hope! Anyone who's worth developing a relationship with in the first place will be someone that can learn to see things in another way. While it's great to imagine the perfect vegan guy out there waiting for you, it's also nice to know that not everyone is completely set in their ways.



...aside from that, my mom remarried to a man that she met online and they've been happily married for 8 years! I believe she used americansingles.com. Might be worth a try?
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#7 Old 04-03-2006, 08:46 PM
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I can relate - I am also going thru a divorce and while it's officially "over" or "finalized" I tend to think when there's kids involved, it's never really "over"...



So, yeah, that said, I was most definitely NOT looking, very convinced I was OK with being a single Mom and NOT interested in a relationship, or even a date!



Then I joined VB and totally out of the blue, happened to run into an amazing guy who swept me off my feet (so to speak, if one can be "swept off their feet" online).



Is that helpful? I doubt it. I don't have ANY advice because this was a totally random, "chance" happening (though I don't particularly believe in "chance"...) that I wasn't looking for or expecting...



I guess I would advise - just make every attempt to be "friendly" with people on a variety of boards or veggie sites... you might strike up a friendship with someone who is "just right" for you... and whether it turns into something more, or not, online friendships can be just as supportive, helpful and understanding as those in real life.



I have many online friends (some vegan, some not) who have helped me through a lot - I value their friendship a great deal.
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