Originally Posted by rainbowmoon
... I think you know that your vision of love is blurred by your last breakup. You may want to take some time to cool off and think things through, or just evaluate what you want in a person- what are the most important traits a potential mate must have. I am thinking that perhaps just by taking a few days off from talking to the German guy and focusing on yourself, your thoughts, and who you are, you might be able to gain some perspective.
Even if he "doesn't like it" this is SUCH a good idea!!
Take some time to yourself to collect your thoughts and figure out EXACTLY what you're feeling and what you need. It may be hard for him, but better in the long run, he will either have someone who genuinely wants to be with him, or if you break up, he will be miserable for a bit but able to move on and find his "Mrs. Right".
Don't let him guilt you into talking and IMing and such... (put him on "block" or "ignore" for a few days - he won't know, but he won't "see" you online either. ) Turn off the phone so you don't hear his text messages come in and at least aren't tempted to respond immediately, if you seriously want time and space for yourself, you CAN make it..
I have taken "time-outs" in relationships on occassion, it has always helped me gain perspective and see things with a much better point-of-view...
Relationships can develop rather quickly, especially when one person is on the "rebound', and saying "I love you" can take on less meaning than you want it to have.
My ex never ever
said 'I love you' so I was very hungry to hear that in a new relationship - however when it happened, I absolutely was sure that I meant it when I responded.
Good luck, you've recieved lots of good advice, and it sounds like you have a some good ideas yourself. You'll be fine, however things work out.
(Oh, and I'm well over 40 and just recently found my "Mr. Right" - and I definitely was NOT looking...)