Last Day at college/high school- Parents - VeggieBoards
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#1 Old 05-27-2005, 03:20 PM
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I'm feeling pretty sad at the moment. I had been looking forward to leaving for ages and now it has finally happened I feel so bad. I don't want to get older and leave everything behind. I want to be a kid again. I will really miss my friends too, though we're not really that close.



My Mam also officially confirmed that she and Dad are going to split up and said they would be selling the house in September. I feel devestated that this going to happen eventhough I know they don't love each other and are not happy.



Everything in my life is changing all at once. I will be moving on my own to go university. I am excited but nervous.



It's like my whole life is falling apart. I just have this really big sense of loss. I don't know what I want here, advice, hugs. Really I just want someone to care.
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#2 Old 05-27-2005, 03:26 PM
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It will get better.



I'm sorry you're going through so many big changes at once. That is really hard! Every big change in our lives means a loss, and it's OK to mourn those losses even while being excited about some of the good things those changes bring.



From high school to college is a tough transition for most people, but at some point you will come out of that and young adulthood will be awesome, different than you imagined and really cool.



Just hang in there, honey.
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#3 Old 05-27-2005, 03:28 PM
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I also wanted to mention that my parents are divorced too (though they divorced when I was much younger, only 10) and even though I knew/know that it was the best thing for both of them AND me, it was still a terrible blow. You are losing your family as you know it, and even though your family can come to mean something else wonderful in a different form, that is a loss that needs to be mourned like any other.
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#4 Old 05-27-2005, 04:38 PM
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#5 Old 05-27-2005, 06:36 PM
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You're going to have so much fun in college! Don't worry - in college you still get to be a kid. Trust me! I had more fun in college than I did in high school. You're not leaving your childhood behind...you have at least 4 more years of it, but with a lot more freedom. You get to plan your own class schedule--that was one of my favorite things. I had a personal rule not to take a class before 10:00 am - that way I never had to go to bed early and I didn't even have to set an alarm clock!



Are you going to be living in the dorms? IMO, that's the best way to meet lots of friends. I'm kind of shy, so I made a conscious effort to say "yes" to any social invite when I first got there, and I made lots of friends right off, some of which I am still close to today.



I'm very sorry to hear about your parents, by the way.



Good luck, the future is an exciting thing!!
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#6 Old 05-28-2005, 08:30 AM
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#7 Old 05-28-2005, 09:20 AM
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It must be hard having two big changes at once.



I understand the sadness about leaving high school, but I kept in touch with all my good friends and even some not-so-close friends and then made tons more in college. And college was way better than high school.



As far as your parents... I can only imagine what a devastating blow that must be. I think you need another for that one. On the positive side, all the divorces in my extended family have been friendly and the families have been better for them. I wish the same for yours.
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#8 Old 05-28-2005, 09:33 AM
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I hope (and think) that you will have a great time in college.
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#9 Old 05-28-2005, 12:14 PM
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Changes like that are hard, even if you know it will be for the better.
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#10 Old 05-28-2005, 11:35 PM
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Sometimes it's better that two people get divorced.
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#11 Old 05-29-2005, 09:45 AM
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Thanks for the support everyone- I need this because right now I feel the worst I have ever felt in my life. I can't bring myself to tell anybody I know (apart from VB) about my parents splitting up, it makes me think about it too much. Me and my brother even find it hard to talk about it even though we are pretty close.



It is nice to know somebody cares as my parents are so wrapped up in their own problems right now they don't seem to notice how bad I feel (mind you I have been trying pretty hard to hide it). I know they care about me but they just have too many problems of their own at the moment.



We are tidying the house out at the moment getting rid of stuff we don't need anymore. My Dad never talks to anybody about the divorce or about my Mam. My Mam talks about how much she dislikes my Dad all the time.I don't want to have to deal with her hate at the moment. I have my A2 exams to concentrate on!



I wish I didn't feel this bad. Clearing the house out is depressing, it is the kind of thing people do when somebody dies.



I appreciate the support
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#12 Old 05-29-2005, 10:10 PM
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Hang in there, hun. Divorce is really hard - but in time, you will find it could make things better in a way. Your parents have been unhappy for a while - after the divorce they both will be feeling the same type of loss you are - but with time, hopefully they will both find happiness, and you will be happy for them. I know thats a very rambly sentence but I can't really say it any better.



As for college - its definitely scary to move out on your own - but you're starting anew, just like all the other kids, and you'll find you make new friends very fast. College is the time of your life. Its so much hard work, but so much fun. The friends you make here will be part of your life forever. Everyone (all the freshmen at least) is going through the same scary changes you are, so you'll find lots of support. My college friends are like sisters to me. Its a great experience, you grow up a lot and learn a lot about yourself (and the world) in this time. So hang tight till september, its really going to be ok - even better than ok!! :-)
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