Originally Posted by Tommy Gun
She didn't have to move at all. I think she partly just wanted to get her own place, and partly it was because she wanted to be able to see Steve more often. I think we all see the irony in that one.
i think that her knowing that steve had more-than-friends feelings for her, and still making the decision to move in with him (or encourage a deeper friendship in any form, really) is a poor choice to make. if she really doesn't have any interest in steve as a bf but wants to remain on good terms with him as a friend, then she should have pulled back a bit and allowed him time to come to terms with the fact that a relationship of a romantic nature isn't happening. if that hasn't happened, she either isn't being totally upfront about her feelings for the roomate, or she's being self/manipulative, or she's just completely clueless about how her actions are hurting those around her. none of these are a good sign. :shrug:
Well, supposedly he's stressed out over other stuff, and having a guest in the apartment would add more.
whatever that "other stuff" is, is his
business and when he signed up to be roomates with other people he tacitly agreed to not let his own personal "stuff" interfere with his roomate's lives. that's just common sense, imo, and i lived with roomates for nearly eight years.
Yeah, that's kind of what a lot of their recent arguments are about. They have been discussing it, but, "he's just being paranoid."
no, he's feeling
insecure. there's a huge difference between the two. that his feelings are being so readily dismissed is a big waving red flag, as far as i'm concerned. his expectations that a) his gf would consider his feelings/needs/wants more important than a roomate's and b) his gf would take his discomfort with her living situation seriously and c) his gf wouldn't just write off his worries and sadness as "paranoia" are not unreasonable.
it just plain sounds bad, from the way you've written about it, tommy gunn. i hope i'm wrong, but unless there's some serious discussion (not arguing, discussing) about what's really going on on all
levels, the relationship isn't heading into very good territory.
my instincts are telling me that this girl is actually more interested in her roomate than she's letting on or willing to admit, and that she's using steve's so-called "paranoia" as an excuse to begin the ending of their relationship. itf that is the case it would be more honorable of her to just be honest and end things without trying to make it steve's "fault" somehow.
good luck to your friend, tommy gunn.