I thought i would come here to ask for some advice/stories/experiences you've all had with this sort of thing. I'm a ranter and this is long...caution.
I've been with this guy for the past little while, 4 months on Sunday actually. He's had previous relationships while this is my first (I chose to not be in a serious relationship with anyone before i met this guy), we're both 18. Everything has been going great, even though we've moved from one thing (emotionally, mentally, physically) to another rather quickly...we have been comfortable with the speed of things.
Recently we've both been getting irritated with each other. Last Saturday night he came over to my place -after we had yet again cancelled plans- to "talk" at my request. Lying on my bed i explained the issues i had which were me feeling frustrated that he wouldn't just tell me he needed some time for a break/for himself/to hang out with his mates and instead constantly told me that he was tired; and our recently more frequent cancelling of plans (the last 4 times we had things arranged, it was cancelled...i guess i've played parts in that too though). He told me he felt he needed to always tell me where he was, with who, and doing what...a general chained down feeling. We agreed everything was seeming so routine, from the time and amount we called each other every day, to what we said in those phone conversations, to feeling obligated to say 'i love you'
He spoke, i spoke, i asked what we should do about it...he spoke some more, i spoke somemore, i repeated the question, he said maybe we should see other people (this hurt. he tells me he loves me yet he could think about seeing other people?? he shouldnt have felt pressured into feeling like he had to tell me he loved me-as he said it first, i didnt tell him till a week and a half later), i told him i was in love with him, why the hell would i want to see other people, he went into "most relationships dont work long distance anyway (he's leaving for college in the fall, we had planned to work on things as he would be coming home/i would be able to visit regularly) and it would suck for both of us to not be free to date who we wanted while he was gone. Anyway, it was decided that we would not speak on the phone/in person/via text messages/emails/im's at all this week....spend a bit of time together next week (beg. may 22) and see if we wanted to be together at all. A few things he said really hurt me...the whole maybe we should see other people, ld relationships usually dont work anyway...i figured he had been in enough relationships to know when he loved someone or not, why would you think of seeing someone else when you're "in love". Long distance relationships, i understand usually dont work. Theres no doubt alot involved. I believe if you love someone (god i love him so much) its worth a try.
So. its been 5 days. I'm alright i guess. Its been hard trying to keep busy enough to not think of him, but every place i go...everyone i see (esp. all the cute little couples) remind me of him. I love him alot and hope this can make things better for us. I've shared more with him than i have ever shared with anyone, i guess it could be said that i've had alot of firsts with him.
thanks for taking the time to read. please send happy thoughts and prayers my way. i think i'm settled as to knowing whatever happens...whether we stay together or not...will be happening for the best.
i love you guys
sorry for the rant