i'm in a pickle of a jam!!!! - VeggieBoards
Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 Old 05-15-2003, 02:27 AM
Newbie
 
GhostUser's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 0
k don't ask about the topic title.. it's 2 am and i'm hyped up on tylenol 3's and something else that dopes me up ( rollerblading accident bad back don't ask) anyway i'm ina really bad situation... i know it sounds cliche and stupid but... i'm in luv with my bestfriend.. to make matters worse.. he's gay.. so i know there's no chance with him. I mean even if he were straight I wouldn't want to ruin our friendship.. so here's the real problem.. we see eachotehr pretty much all day everyady..a nd i don't see my feelings for him diminish in fact their getting worse.. now when he leaves to go home... i get really sad and want him to stay.. does anyone have any advice for me on how to deal with this without having to avoid him altogether? he is my best friend after all!!!
GhostUser is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
#2 Old 05-15-2003, 10:13 AM
Veggie Regular
 
zoebird's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2001
Posts: 8,451
i want to let you know that it is ok to love a lot of people, and never, ever become romantically involved with them. As sexual beings, it's not unusual to have sexual feelings about any number of people (friends or strangers, perhaps even "enemies"), but knowing when it is appropriate to act on them and when it isn't is the real art of being a sexually responsible human being.



So, i say that it's ok to love other people--particularly your "best friend"--and ultimately love and have a sexual relationship with a person who wants to have a responsible, loving sexual relationship with you.



for example, i am married to a wonderful man. He's the only man that i've ever had sex with, and unless he dies young or before me, or i divorce him or something silly, it's likely that he'll be my only partner. But, i also have a lot of male friends whom i love very deeply. Some even i'm greatly attracted to. Most of them know that i love them because i tell them that i love them. Some of them know that i have sexual feelings for them as well, because we've mentioned it. My husband knows about everything. Since we're all adults, we all value our relationships (both sexual/marital and otherwise) and won't do anything stupid. We rely on each other in many other ways, care for each other deeply, and spend a good deal of time together.



But, it's all open and healthy. The love is starting to suprass romantic notions and become a real community of support. we can't help it that we're all just loyal and passionate. BTW, my husband has also told many of these men (as well as other women in our community) that he loves them, although he doesn't have sexual feelings for most of them. We are all very affectionate though.



Anyway, perhaps this helps? and perhaps you should/could talk to your friend abotu these things.
zoebird is offline  
#3 Old 05-15-2003, 10:14 AM
Veggie Regular
 
zoebird's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2001
Posts: 8,451
PS:



You may also want to learn the difference between a "crush" and "love" as well as the difference between "romantic notions" and "love."
zoebird is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
#4 Old 05-15-2003, 10:16 AM
Veggie Regular
 
1vegan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 8,440
And when you start thinking of him (her) again than try to focus on something or some one else.
1vegan is offline  
#5 Old 05-15-2003, 02:42 PM
Newbie
 
GhostUser's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 0
yeah... that does sort of help.. oh well... as of 12 am last night i'm going back to bc for the summer so i won't see him for 3 months anyways as i'll be on the otherside of the country!
GhostUser is offline  
#6 Old 05-15-2003, 05:08 PM
Newbie
 
GhostUser's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 0
Just remember there are different types of love. But because he's gay there is a limit on how much love he can give back to you. I'm sure he is in love with you too, just not in that way. Hold onto him because he sounds like a good friend.
GhostUser is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the VeggieBoards forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in


Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off