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huajiro2 12-07-2004 08:21 AM

Would you say that your relationship is working? Why (or why not)?

revelsunrise 12-07-2004 09:21 AM

1. My relationship with my mother. Why yes, that one's working lovely since I moved away two years ago. Now I can just hang up when she starts getting on my nerves.



2. My relationship with my sister is also better than ever. Seeing her grow up has created new levels of respect between the two of us.



3. My relationship with my roommate. Eh, that's a tough one. He's a great guy, but he's a slob!



4. My relationship with my bestfriend rocks!



5. My relationship with the man causes me much turmoil and conflict, but there's not really anything I can complain about there.



So, I guess all-in-all, most of the relationships I have are working out quite well for me.

sealife 12-07-2004 09:43 AM

Probably not going to work out. Too soon to say for sure.

-My man is very much in to the art scene. He's a musician, painter, sculpture etc. I am an IT technician. I feel he deserves some one creative and artistic with him. Like when He sometimes bust out philosophy and poetry on me and I don't know how to respond. I just sit their and get entertained.

-I'm a muslim he's a christian.

huajiro2 12-07-2004 09:47 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by sealife View Post

Probably not going to work out. Too soon to say for sure.

-My man is very much in to the art scene. He's a musician, painter, sculpture etc. I am an IT technician. I feel he deserves some one creative and artistic with him. Like when He sometimes bust out philosophy and poetry on me and I don't know how to respond. I just sit their and get entertained.

-I'm a muslim he's a christian.



Wow, oppsoites do attract eh?

sealife 12-07-2004 09:57 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by huajiro2 View Post

Wow, oppsoites do attract eh?



heh heh... yeah seems like it. Not to mention he's a white boy and I'm black!! hehehe



(opps...sorry.. off the topic )

GhostUser 12-07-2004 10:03 AM

nope..not working at the moment. It's been rather sucky for about the last 6 months or so. I'm waiting to see if this is just one of those rocky periods relationships go through of if it's dieing a slow death. We'll see..



Reason? Lack of communication...actually no communication.

Tash 12-07-2004 10:11 AM

Much better now that we don't see each other.ever..yes.*laughs*

huajiro2 12-07-2004 10:25 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by sealife View Post

heh heh... yeah seems like it. Not to mention he's a white boy and I'm black!! hehehe



(opps...sorry.. off the topic )

Sounds like one lucky whiteboy....tell him to get it in gear.

huajiro2 12-07-2004 10:27 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by revelsunrise View Post

1. My relationship with my mother. Why yes, that one's working lovely since I moved away two years ago. Now I can just hang up when she starts getting on my nerves.



2. My relationship with my sister is also better than ever. Seeing her grow up has created new levels of respect between the two of us.



3. My relationship with my roommate. Eh, that's a tough one. He's a great guy, but he's a slob!



4. My relationship with my bestfriend rocks!



5. My relationship with the man causes me much turmoil and conflict, but there's not really anything I can complain about there.



So, I guess all-in-all, most of the relationships I have are working out quite well for me.

You can't complain about turmoil and conflict?



(I'll have what she's having!!!)

huajiro2 12-07-2004 10:33 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by MsRuthieB View Post

nope..not working at the moment. It's been rather sucky for about the last 6 months or so. I'm waiting to see if this is just one of those rocky periods relationships go through of if it's dieing a slow death. We'll see..



Reason? Lack of communication...actually no communication.



Lack of communication = slow death

huajiro2 12-07-2004 10:35 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tash View Post

Much better now that we don't see each other.ever..yes.*laughs*



wow, that bad?

beth 12-07-2004 10:37 AM

My relationship's working out wonderfully right now. There was a point a long time ago that I thought we wouldn't make it, but we've both grown up a lot since then, and we've learned to appreciate each other. Never been better.

carnelian 12-07-2004 11:05 AM

I have amazingly satisfying relationships with all of my cats!

GhostUser 12-07-2004 12:17 PM

My relationship is an enigma to me.



On the one hand, we have similar tastes in many things, similar senses of humor, we're both on the bright side of the bell curve, etc. Plus, we have similar backgrounds, so we understand each other on some pretty deep levels (like facing abuse as children).



However, we both cope with our insecurities differently. I tend to lean to the passive side (letting things slide, being too nice in the hopes that others will be nice to me, not saying anything when she hurts my feelings, etc) whereas she leans more to the agressive side (overly hostile and defensive when I try to confront issues, fights mean alot, etc.)



So, while the good is really good, the bad is equally bad. Now, she has tried (and improved) with her agressive tendencies over the last five years that we've been together, and this gives me hope. However, the older I get, the less crap I'm willing to put up with, so, we might also end up breaking up or becoming one of those couples who bickers constantly.



I really have no idea what the jury's gonna say.







The Rev

GhostUser 12-07-2004 12:20 PM

One thing is for sure. If we split and he moves out, I will never ever ever live with another man again. Ever.



And if I date he's going to be able to take care of himself 100%...stand on his own two feet. If he can't and he needs a mamma, well..he can keep steppin.

Tash 12-07-2004 12:35 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by huajiro2 View Post

wow, that bad?

No..It's actually pretty good idea-wise..I haven't had a single laceration/police report/or restraining order that I've had to file since......

renaissancesun 12-07-2004 01:26 PM

Well, my relationship (marriage) is WORK, but I guess time will tell if it is really working.



I am learning a lot and it is costing a lot of money. It has been a hard road from nearly the start. About 7 years in we were both giving up. "7 year itch" is no joke. We plugged along because we have children and we both wanted it to work out. We started couples counseling over a year ago, hence "costing a lot of money", and things are going well.



We had our 13 year anniversary last week. We are actually going to celebrate it next month by spending a weekend in a bed and breakfast (with a jaccuzi in our room! and massages...and champagne...and roses). It will be our first whole weekend away from our kids for over 12 years. I am not sure I know how to act, but I will figure it out.



Sunny

renaissancesun 12-07-2004 01:28 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Rev View Post

My relationship is an enigma to me.



On the one hand, we have similar tastes in many things, similar senses of humor, we're both on the bright side of the bell curve, etc. Plus, we have similar backgrounds, so we understand each other on some pretty deep levels (like facing abuse as children).



However, we both cope with our insecurities differently. I tend to lean to the passive side (letting things slide, being too nice in the hopes that others will be nice to me, not saying anything when she hurts my feelings, etc) whereas she leans more to the agressive side (overly hostile and defensive when I try to confront issues, fights mean alot, etc.)









Sounds like home, kind of. I tend to be the assertive one here but not in all ways. My husband gets pretty mean and sarcastic and I am weepy.

GhostUser 12-07-2004 08:49 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by renaissancesun View Post

We had our 13 year anniversary last week.



You've been married for 13 YEARS!! How old were you when you got hitched? Nine?



:



The Rev

CountessKerouac 12-07-2004 08:56 PM

My relationship with my boyfriend is working, yes, although we had some problems that I know will come up again in the future. But, things are good now, so seize the day I say.

Nicky 12-08-2004 12:05 AM

The relationship I have with my boyfriend is very strong, since we have been through so much bad stuff in such a short amount of time. Being sexually active is how some of the problems came about. I love him so much, but things are really tough. I don't want to lose him or give up, hopefully we can just hang in there and things will get better, I find it really hard when things get tough, but on the other hand there are so many good things about our relationship too.

renaissancesun 12-08-2004 05:43 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Rev View Post

You've been married for 13 YEARS!! How old were you when you got hitched? Nine?



:



The Rev



Close enough. 23...or 24, can't remember. It was a long time ago.

Jessica 12-08-2004 06:15 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by MsRuthieB View Post

nope..not working at the moment. It's been rather sucky for about the last 6 months or so. I'm waiting to see if this is just one of those rocky periods relationships go through of if it's dieing a slow death. We'll see..



Reason? Lack of communication...actually no communication.





Mmmmm, sad to say but things are a bit the same for me (in a 7 year relationship). I love him very much but..... my eyes have started roving. It's not a good sign. I want things to work out because quite frankly I can't face the idea of a break up, emotionally or financially. I just seem to spend all my time saying 'this needs to change' or 'that needs to change' and he agrees then.... nothing changes.



*sigh*



Sometimes I think I'm too old to be starting over again (37) but I know that's a stupid way to think. I'd also worry about my stepson.

Miss Meg 12-08-2004 07:13 AM

with my mom-yes and no, we are too much alike sometimes and that drives us both nuts



with my dad-absolutly except that I think he works waaaay too much and I worry about his health



with my brother-yes, he's 17 I'm 24 and it is the perfect age difference, we have things in common but we don't step on eachother's toes



with my man- yup, he is my best friend and aside from my PMS days we have a blast.

Elena99 12-08-2004 07:47 AM

With my dad - yes, it's working fine, we've never really had problems.



With my mom - better than it used to be. Sometimes we still get annoyed at each other, but at least I don't hate her anymore like I did when I was a teenager.



Sisters - they're both in other provinces. One I get along with better over the internet, somehow. The other one I get along with in person and over the internet.



Fiance - We're doing just fine, except we're separated by about 1000 miles until Dec 29th. >_>

GhostUser 12-08-2004 08:20 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jessica View Post

Mmmmm, sad to say but things are a bit the same for me (in a 7 year relationship). I love him very much but..... my eyes have started roving. It's not a good sign. I want things to work out because quite frankly I can't face the idea of a break up, emotionally or financially. I just seem to spend all my time saying 'this needs to change' or 'that needs to change' and he agrees then.... nothing changes.



*sigh*



Sometimes I think I'm too old to be starting over again (37) but I know that's a stupid way to think. I'd also worry about my stepson.



Freaky. My relationship is at the beginning of 8 years and I'm 37. My eyes are roaming too...is it the 7 year itch? I also worry about my stepdaughter (she's 11). The man is clueless..especially when it comes to taking care of his daughter. I'm not exaggerating when I say I honestly don't know what they'd do without me. The same things are crossing my mind that's crossing yours. Don't be surprised if I pm you someday..feel free to do the same.

Jessica 12-08-2004 09:02 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by MsRuthieB View Post

Freaky. My relationship is at the beginning of 8 years and I'm 37. My eyes are roaming too...is it the 7 year itch? I also worry about my stepdaughter (she's 11). The man is clueless..especially when it comes to taking care of his daughter. I'm not exaggerating when I say I honestly don't know what they'd do without me. The same things are crossing my mind that's crossing yours. Don't be surprised if I pm you someday..feel free to do the same.



Could be the 7 year itch..... but what I want to know is, can you scratch it away, or is it just gonna be itch itch itch from now on??!!



Ruthie we sound to be in very similar positions. Feel free to PM, it might do us good to vent to someone who's feeling the same thing.

renaissancesun 12-08-2004 03:55 PM

Re-7 yr itch...I read somewhere, and don't quote me on this becuase it was a while back and I can't remember the source, that it takes approximately 7 years for all of the cells in our body (atoms?) to have changed out and renewed. I read that when I was having that rough 7th year and I remember thinking maybe it's not a coincidence becuase we are all new people every 7 years and sometimes we just don't fit together.



For me, it could have all flown apart then, but my husband and I have made choices to have that not happen.

kirkjobsluder 12-08-2004 04:20 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by huajiro2 View Post

Would you say that your relationship is working? Why (or why not)?



Which one?

GhostUser 12-10-2004 12:48 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by huajiro2 View Post

Lack of communication = slow death

Huajiro... that is SO true! I was in a couple of relationships that deteriorated over lack of communication... this made it horrrible b/c they were great people. But now I have a great boyfriend and communication is there... finally!


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