Can vegans comfortably date meat-eaters? - Page 2 - VeggieBoards
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#31 Old 11-12-2015, 09:41 PM
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Everyone's different. I couldn't, but as i'm not everyone else, who knows.
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#32 Old 11-12-2015, 09:57 PM
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Originally Posted by Enthios View Post
It would be tough on some vegans to go to say, a slaughterhouse protest and then come home to a partner that is eating meat.
Convictions can and often do grow from a slight caring in the beginning to a real extreme offense. The more knowledge attained the more obscene it becomes... or is capable of becoming if observing the reality in clarity.

This. This 1000 times. I used to be involved with someone who was environmental for the animals, but he was an omni, and I wonder if it worked out if I could have adjusted to that since we shared core values about things that I take extreme offense to...he may even be the kind of person who changed his diet eventually, too, because he cared a lot about animals, the environment, and nutrition. ..anyway, I think that would be a lot more workable, than my ex who I am not with for very good reasons who actually mocked vegetarians despite liking animals.

I don't want to spend the rest of my life arguing with someone, and I'm not the kind of person who can just let things like that go in a close relationship, though I never attack individual friends or acquaintances while they're dining. I save that for more neutral and less intimate platforms like the internet, where I let my ire run wild.

But marriage is too close. I would implode. You can't ask them to go home.
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#33 Old 11-12-2015, 10:25 PM
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Originally Posted by Kiwibird08 View Post
I don't understand. I am my own person, I make decisions regarding my own body. I read and learn for my own benefit. I went vegetarian in the most unsupportive environment possible (my own family), I have never faltered and in fact grew into veganism. I did not and still do not need the approval of anyone to decide what my own beliefs are regarding right from wrong nor to grow on a personal level. My husband doesn't restrict me from choosing what to put in my mouth (nor do I him), and I wouldn't have married someone who felt that was his place.



He has become more informed and realizes it is not essential. He has changed where he sources meat, rarely eats it these days and cut out virtually all dairy after becoming more informed. I think many omnis, if they don't feel attacked or pressured or guilted, are open to learning and possibly even changing their views and habits (even if it's not to 100% vegan ideals). Then there are people like my family who are just... hopeless You don't get to choose who your related to, but you can choose not to have a partner who has a mind that is closed, locked and the key was thrown away long time ago. Not all omni's are confrontational vegan haters who think meat is the be all and end all of food and I think some omnis/vegan relationships will function just fine and being an omni is not a reason to immediately rule getting to know someone better out.
He allows you to raise your children vegan. That's huge. What if he didn't? Or you were a child free couple and felt a need to do vegan outreach through other means? I am glad it works for you, but that may be because your desire to make a difference is fulfilled already though your children. ..and that's beautiful, and important. ..but what if he seriously had crossed you over it, or you didn't have kids?

I'm just curious if you'd continue to feel so self-possessed about it in a different set up. I'm curious, not criticizing you. Because I can't fathom it.
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#34 Old 11-12-2015, 10:28 PM
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Everyone's different. I couldn't, but as i'm not everyone else, who knows.
This.
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#35 Old 11-12-2015, 10:59 PM
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I think that the gender double-standard enters into this issue. If a male spouse insists on eating meat, there appears to be more acceptance.

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Specific recommendations for a healthy diet include: eating more fruit, vegetables, legumes, nuts and grains; cutting down on salt, sugar and fats. It is also advisable to choose unsaturated fats, instead of saturated fats and towards the elimination of trans-fatty acids."
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#36 Old 11-13-2015, 03:59 PM
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It can work. I've been dating my boyfriend for 1 year. He was always supportive. He actually has been vegetarian for the last 3 months which is huge because he used to have meat for breakfast lunch and dinner. Sometimes the best way to teach is through example.
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#37 Old 11-16-2015, 05:02 AM
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Originally Posted by Thalassa4 View Post
He allows you to raise your children vegan. That's huge. What if he didn't? Or you were a child free couple and felt a need to do vegan outreach through other means? I am glad it works for you, but that may be because your desire to make a difference is fulfilled already though your children. ..and that's beautiful, and important. ..but what if he seriously had crossed you over it, or you didn't have kids?

I'm just curious if you'd continue to feel so self-possessed about it in a different set up. I'm curious, not criticizing you. Because I can't fathom it.
Well, there were a few issues had we not been able to see eye to eye on it or reach some 'fair' resolution BEFORE we got married, I wouldn't have married him or have continued the relationship because we clearly wouldn't have been compatible. I wouldn't stay with someone I didn't get along with, period. He could have walked too if he didn't like my views.
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#38 Old 11-16-2015, 09:28 AM
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IMO, it is very much an individual matter.
Exactly. In answer to the question posed by the OP, some can and some can't. In other words, there's no "right answer".

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#39 Old 11-30-2015, 04:37 PM
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I would have said 'yes' not too long ago, but I've changed my mind. It's an important part of who I am. I wouldn't care to spend the rest of my life with an omnivore, at least. I'd surely date one for a while!
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#40 Old 12-04-2015, 07:58 PM
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I, personally, would never date a meat eater. We would never get along. It is completely against my morals, ethics and lifestyle. Relationships come down to compatibility, so for me, I am a vegan, incompatible with meat eaters.
It would never work.
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#41 Old 12-05-2015, 12:03 AM
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You can date anyone you want, but I would never date a meat eater. You also need to be comfortable with being alone, as I am. Distance from others gives you independence and freedom. That is not to say you can't have intimate relationships. If you tell someone all the facts (slaughterhouses, emissions, etc) and they still don't convert, then they simply don't care, and if they don't care about the suffering of defenceless animals, what does that suggest about how they will treat you or your children?
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#42 Old 12-05-2015, 05:38 AM
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You can date anyone you want, but I would never date a meat eater. You also need to be comfortable with being alone, as I am. Distance from others gives you independence and freedom. That is not to say you can't have intimate relationships. If you tell someone all the facts (slaughterhouses, emissions, etc) and they still don't convert, then they simply don't care, and if they don't care about the suffering of defenceless animals, what does that suggest about how they will treat you or your children?
I don't think it is necessarily true that a meat eater can't treat their children well because they don't agree with veganism or care about animals. My husband's parents would give the shirt off their backs for us. They sacrificed a lot, worked hard all their lives to provide for their children. They did the best they could. They are dairy farmers and hunters. While we disagree on a lot of stuff, I hardly think they are cold blooded people who would abuse their children. When it comes to farm animals, they hold very different views than I do, and yes it disturbs me. But they are not at all the same way in regards to humans, and even wild animals. They grow natural habitats for wild birds for example, and to help the bees. Often when it comes to farm animals, there is a disconnect and a very strong cultural bias they are not able to see past. they are small town farm people who have not been exposed to much of the world and other ideas. They have limited education. It does not make them bad people.

Most of us were not born vegan, and most of us took some time to become vegan. Changing your entire way of life takes time (it is more than just avoiding animal products in food), and it often means going against cultural values reinforced by your own family, friends, society. It is hard to undue years of being taught a certain way about stuff like nutrition, animal sentience etc People get comfortable in their way of life and not many of us like abrupt change. If those of us who are vegans only communicated with other vegans, our movement would not grow as quickly as it has. And we have to accept that there are going to be people that respect vegans but are unable to fully become vegans themselves. They still make efforts to move in that direction. We should not dismiss them as cruel, uncaring, cold individuals because they don't want to embrace our way of living right off the bat. There are also children born into vegan families who later become meat eaters.

Keep in mind also that there are people who become vegan who have lived with husbands or wives or children for decades, and those family members may not embrace veganism as quickly or at all. A vegan is not going to just walk away from all that day one. Love is bigger than that. I think vegans who live in mixed households and do the best they can to introduce a vegan lifestyle to their families should not be looked down upon because those families do not want to change and the vegan does not want to walk away from their children or long term spouse. Very few of us have the luxury of avoiding all omnivores and living in a bubble.

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#43 Old 12-05-2015, 09:23 AM
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Originally Posted by melbourne_vegan View Post
You can date anyone you want, but I would never date a meat eater. You also need to be comfortable with being alone, as I am. Distance from others gives you independence and freedom. That is not to say you can't have intimate relationships. If you tell someone all the facts (slaughterhouses, emissions, etc) and they still don't convert, then they simply don't care, and if they don't care about the suffering of defenceless animals, what does that suggest about how they will treat you or your children?
You're acting as thought most vegans or vegetarians have been so since birth. Most of us found ourselves here later in life, having been raised by loving, wonderful omni parents. My dad knew the realities of factory farms, but to eat animals is an integral part of culture. It permeates holidays, social gatherings. To stop eating animals is a brave thing that rejecta the societal and cultural normas we were raised with. It is easier now that veganism is becoming more main stream, but it wasn't always this way and it doesn't make the social pressure disappear.

We all are growing and learning every day at different paces, and we have all arrived here for varying reasons and points in our lives. It is wrong to judge those who are in a different place than you, or question how they would treat children. Hell, it doesn't even usually relate to how they treat pets. Most people have such entrenched cognitive dissonance that they happily buy leather collars for their dogs.

People come around if and when they are ready. Often being in a relationship or friendship with a compassionate vegan can help them realize it is doable.

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#44 Old 12-07-2015, 08:07 PM
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I'm married to an omni...but wouldn't be if he were one of these must have meat every day types. We have no meat and no dairy products in our house. He would easily eat 95% vegan. He usually eats vegan even when we go out, but will eat whatever at say a friends house. Some time ago now he displayed an interest in making the switch officially but hasn't done it yet
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#45 Old 12-13-2015, 05:07 PM
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Totally depends on the people involved. I had no problem dating meat-eaters but I had a very hard time getting serious with a meat-eater. Ultimately, the man I married was vegetarian when we met and we went vegan together. If something ever happened to him I'm pretty sure I would either stay single or only date other vegans/vegetarians.
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#46 Old 12-14-2015, 04:41 AM
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I was already married 30 years when I came over to the vegetarian/vegan side. Husband stayed omni.

For me, it was easier in the beginning, the first few years. Now, 11 years later, I find it more difficult sharing a kitchen but we make it work. Rule #1, he is not allowed to make negative comments (like, yuck) about any of my food. I pretty much stay out of kitchen when he's doing his thing.

I think the fact that I was omni for 52 years helps with my tolerance factor. If I were a young and single vegan I'm pretty sure I would be seeking out a like minded partner. If I were suddenly single now I think I would opt to stay single.


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#47 Old 12-31-2015, 10:35 AM
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I would have to agree with others in that it would be easier to date but harder to marry a meat-eater... and it definitely depends on the individual/situation: how strongly they feel about veganism, how supportive their partners are, etc.

I know with my ex, if I had gone vegetarian while we were together, I would have been mocked mercilessly, if not by him then by his family. All hardcore, meat-eating ranchers. I can't even imagine what they would have said if I went vegan.

That goes for dating now a bit, too. Most guys that are genuinely interested in me are fine with me being a vegetarian, which is awesome, but I haven't been serious with anyone since the switch. I don't think I could ever prepare a meaty meal for a significant other again. I guess bottom line is, as long as both parties respect each other's choices and are patient with each other, it's certainly doable. They may even make the switch eventually, too.
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#48 Old 12-31-2015, 11:51 AM
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My partner is a meat eater. I was veggie when we met but he as always been very respectful of this an would happily help cook veggie meals and would eat them too.

Now I am Vegan he is still just as supportive. Is happy to eat vegan meals that I prepare for dinner. Even when we dine out he enjoys going to vegan restaurants and tasting something different. I doubt he will ever become Vegan, maybe in many many years. But this doesnt bother me. Aslong as we are respectful of eachothers choices then thats all that matters to me.
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#49 Old 01-02-2016, 12:22 PM
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This is a very interesting question.

When i read this question, it seems to remind me of a few other questions, such as:

"Can a Christian date a non Christian?"

"Can I date someone who is 15 years older than me?"

"Would it be ok to date someone of a different race?"

It is natural for us to think of interactions between humans as computer specifications and compatibility. Most areas of the world and society we knows works that way.

However, we always need to know that the interaction between two person, can never be quantified.

Be calm, meditate, and the answer will come to you naturally.

And most of the time, it has nothing to do with whether the other person is vegan or not

Just my humble opinion here

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#50 Old 01-31-2016, 01:16 PM
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My girlfriend is a meat eater. We've been dating for three and a half months, but she has never said or done any annoying or stupid thing that most omnis do. I think the reason behind it is that she, too, has a limited diet (she's allergic to gluten) so she's very understanding. She even wants to try some of the stuff I eat. Unfortunately, she can't because most of it contains wheat gluten and any meat and gluten free product we could find has been too expensive for us.
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#51 Old 01-31-2016, 02:44 PM
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I've only had one long term relationship, and it was with a meat-eater. I told her from the start, even though I'm veg, I didn't care if she ate meat, she could do what she wanted. But about a month after dating me she turned veggie anyway. It turned out it's been something she kind of wanted to do anyway, and dating me was kind of an excuse to give it a go. She used the term very loosely sometimes, but at least she gave it a go.
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#52 Old 02-24-2016, 07:07 AM
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Really depends on the individuals. My husband is a meat eater, and I was a long-time vegetarian when we met (now a vegan). It's never caused a single issue in 8+ years. We've been in many constructive, intelligent, interesting debates over the years. He's actually cut back a lot on meat consumption and pretty much stopped all dairy since meeting me, though it wasn't overnight and I have never pressured him about it. I doubt he'll ever be vegan, but we work fine.

I was still in high school when I met my husband though. At this point in my life if I were still single and interested in dating, I would probably put a greater importance on dating other vegans than I did back then (though it still wouldn't be a deal breaker if someone was an omni).

Tattoos, I don't care much about but they aren't a 'turn on' for me. My husband has none, I have one very small, very well concealed one. I don't mind them, but I'm not a huge fan of multiple, large, highly-visible ones.
I'm a new vegan. My husband, a meat eater, and I've been married for 3 years we have two children together. He is very reluctant to let our children become vegan. Do you guys have any children? And how did you raise them? Thank you for your time!

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#53 Old 04-30-2016, 10:13 PM
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My SO is a meat eater. It used to bother me when I first became Vegan, buuuuut then I became used to it all. I mean, my whole family (which is like, three people) eat meat, so it's not that big a deal to me. I would love it if she became Vegan but I'm not going to try and change her--she has to want to do it herself.

See, I'm one of the few that doesn't see myself as just a Vegan. I'm so much more than that and so are the people who eat meat. Weird I know.

To answer the thread question directly: It depends on the persons involved, imo.

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#54 Old 04-30-2016, 10:40 PM
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Personally, I couldn't date someone who isn't also an ethical vegan. This is something that I truly feel passionate about and I want to be with someone who can/will understand my veganism from a first-hand point of view. It's just a support that I know I'll personally need.

I wouldn't hate on a fellow vegan for dating an omni or discourage their relationship if the omni won't accept veganism for themselves.
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#55 Old 04-30-2016, 11:33 PM
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My SO is a meat eater. It used to bother me when I first became Vegan, buuuuut then I became used to it all. I mean, my whole family (which is like, three people) eat meat, so it's not that big a deal to me. I would love it if she became Vegan but I'm not going to try and change her--she has to want to do it herself.

See, I'm one of the few that doesn't see myself as just a Vegan. I'm so much more than that and so are the people who eat meat. Weird I know.
To answer the thread question directly: It depends on the persons involved, imo.
Hi Linky and welcome,
I am certain that most vegans see themselves not only as vegans, but as vegan plus other things. Example, I'm a decade-plus long vegan who is also a mother, wife, daughter, sister, nurse, buddhist, reiki master, cellist, cook, yoga practitioner, etc etc etc.
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#56 Old 05-01-2016, 06:02 AM
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How strong can a persons vegan convictions grow when in a binding relationship with an omni?
By being with non-vegans I'd say you do more good than trying to find a vegan mate. I'd rather see omnis eating 75% animal free more than I would rather see them with other omnis eating a "meatatarian" diet, but that's just me. Most omni/vegan couples do cut their animal consumption down by default ...or we could all give up on our current omni partners and increase the amount of animal products consumed.
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#57 Old 05-02-2016, 12:39 PM
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This is an interesting topic. I used to get upset when I heard people on this site get so aggro about things. All of my friends eat meat and I have no problem with it. I could definitely date a meat eater, but have to admit my opinions are changing a lot. I would enjoy meeting a woman that does not eat meat. I think I am evolving and not eating meat for different reasons. I switched for health reasons, but seeing docs like Cowspiracy have really had an effect. Eating meat is killing our environment. I love animals but it has never been the reason why I went veggie. I see our environment going to **** and all of these meat eaters are killing it more than any other outside influence. You have to admit that if you were not to date a meat eater then the pool grows very small.
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