Originally Posted by bethanie
Ut oh...you're not overreacting at all...He's friggen hitting you!
Wanted to agree that this idea of overreacting stood out to me, too. You don't need any excuse to explain your reaction to his hitting you. In fact, I don't think it would be possible to overreact short of seriously injuring or killing him. Start saying a new mantra, "I have the right not to be hit. I have the right to be angry. I have the right to be treated with dignity."
You are doing the right thing. I second the idea of securing some money for yourself. Maybe talking to someone experienced in these matters. Call one of the numbers MsRuthie listed and they can give you advice on planning ahead, like what to bring, what to do first, etc.
ETA, here's some information on planning (not all of which applies):
Safety planning for someone involved in an abusive relationship is a necessary and important step. Planning can be used while you are still with your abuser, or after the relationship has ended. While still in an abusive relationship, your safety within your home is of primary importance.
First, memorize safe numbers including the police, family, or a local domestic violence agency. If possible, obtain a cell phone to keep with you at all times.
Your safety plan should recognize dangerous areas within your home, including the kitchen or the garage where weapons are available, or the bathroom and other small places where one might be trapped. If possible, get to a room with a phone or a way to escape. If your friends or neighbors are aware of the situation set up signals or code words either by phone or alternative method that informs them that the situation is violent at home.
If you are planning on leaving your home, place an extra set of keys outside or in a hiding space and give extra copies of pertinent documents to someone you trust or placed in a hiding place.
After you leave, change your locks as well as add window locks and sensor lighting. You may also want to ask co-workers or neighbors to notify the police if the abuser is seen.
If there are children involved in the situation, the school should be notified of possible threats or and the current custody situation. Make sure the school knows who the children can be released to and to not give out any information.
Vary your route to work and change passwords on bank and e-mail accounts. Keep the restraining order or order of protections paperwork with you at all times, as well as a diary or journal with harassing e-mails or voice mails, violations of orders and actual attempts at contact recorded.
Another, more simple list:
Getting Help: Safety Planning
If you are still in the relationship:
Think of a safe place to go if an argument occurs - avoid rooms with no exits (bathroom), or rooms with weapons (kitchen).
Think about and make a list of safe people to contact.
Keep change with you at all times.
Memorize all important numbers.
Establish a "code word or sign" so that family, friends, teachers or co-workers know when to call for help.
Think about what you will say to your partner if he\\she becomes violent.
Remember you have the right to live without fear and violence.
If you have left the relationship:
Change your phone number.
Save and document all contacts, messages, injuries or other incidents involving the batterer.
Change locks, if the batterer has a key.
Avoid staying alone.
Plan how to get away if confronted by an abusive partner.
If you have to meet your partner, do it in a public place.
Vary your routine.
Notify school and work contacts.
Call a shelter for battered women.
If you leave the relationship or are thinking of leaving, you should take important papers and documents with you to enable you to apply for benefits or take legal action. Important papers you should take include social security cards and birth certificates for you and your children, your marriage license, leases or deeds in your name or both yours and your partner's names, your checkbook, your charge cards, bank statements and charge account statements, insurance policies, proof of income for you and your spouse (pay stubs or W-2s), and any documentation of past incidents of abuse (photos, police reports, medical records, etc.)
I think what you are doing is very, very brave. No doubt it will be very difficult, but keep reminding yourself of how much better things will get.
I wish you well.