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#31 Old 06-20-2015, 08:31 PM
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I just looked up Tess Munster and she looks alright. Actually she is pretty and not ugly. I was expecting to see some kind of savage monster based on the post by Botanical Concepts

And with regards that post, firstly wow! A lot of stuff in there to upset a lot of people I would guess I would add that it seems that some of the arguments are written with concepts from sexual selection in mind, which is refreshing. However, it does not always help one's personal life if you bring human interactions down to the evolutionary biological level too much. That is ok when dealing with concepts in an abstract manner in academia but not necessarily in everyday life. 

Let me explain what I mean: when it comes down to it the aims of a human being in evolutionary terms are simply to survive and reproduce - to propagate one's gene pool, if you will. Virtually all aspects of the human condition, including propensity to experience things like love, can be brought back down to these basic biological drives. But by reducing everything down to this cold, calculated and rational level one risks failing to capture the warmth, beauty and richness that a human life can be filled with.
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#32 Old 06-20-2015, 09:39 PM
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Originally Posted by Botanical Concepts View Post
Obviously people are using online dating for various reasons. If there is any point I wish to make here, it's that women are extremely selective in their choice of partner compared to men. So yes absolutely, for many women (attractive women) it's not that women can't find men who are attracted to them... it's they can't find men who they think are attractive.

This is pretty easy to see when you focus on objective features i.e. appearance. It gets alot more complicated when you factor in other things i.e. are people looking for casual sex or long term relationship? Because for example, alot of women who tick all the boxes of sexual attraction get big fat crosses for intelligence, sense of humor, general knowledge... **** alot of women can't even cook.




I don't expect a women to limit her dating possibilities. I know for a fact there are women who limited their dating possibilities when they were younger. Now they are over the hill, there blossom has already bloomed, and they can barely attract a beta male. This makes up a significant portion of the "ugly/baggage" ladies I refereed to in my previous post.

I would find it unlikely that there are many young women out there who havent dated at all. Some guys will date a fat chick. But the fat chick might find that the guy who wakes up next to her in the morning doesnt want to stick around for long. So she thinks "I just want a man who will stay with me". But she can't find that, so she tries online dating. Now alot of the guys who use online dating are the ones who women won't even bother stringing along with the alure of sex. These are the zeta guys who are willing to get into a relationship with a fat chick or a woman over the hill just so he can get his dick wet.

So it's alot more complicated than just saying "everyone in online dating are losers", but it is something like that. How do you think tinder got it's reputation?



I am extrapolating my own preferences. Guess what I'm a male, other guys are males... we all think the same on this. God/Nature didn't get it wrong when instincts were given. We have appetite to keep us nourished, thirst to keep us hydrated, sex drive to keep the population going, and attraction/attractive features which help guide the process of life. We have taste for carbohydrate on the tongue to tell us a food is good for us and encourage us to eat it. In the same way a man is attracted to beauty, youth, virtue, and other fertility markers that signal to him. Most men are going to find Jessica Alba attractive, and not Tess Munster. We would love it if Jessica Alba was funny, intelligent, honest etc. But it doesn't matter if Tess Munster is all of those things and more because she is FAT and UGLY. You can't deny this is true anymore than a tall guy with abs in a suit made of gold driving a Ferrari is attractive to women. Bill Gates or rapey homeless guy? Bill Gates.



A man likes a woman who can please him sure. But most men don't like sluts. There is perfectly good sociological explanation for this. A women who has had many men before you is more likely to be unfaithful. Not only is it a behavioral pattern/habit (which is hard to break) but she has the experience of being with other men... she knows "what she is missing out on". So it will make it more difficult for her to be contempt with her monogamous relationship. That results in adultery which results in relationship problems and illegitimate children, which creates an unstable society leading to all sorts of problems. This is true for men and women!



Haha. I appreciate those things in everyone, including a partner. I find women to be lacking in these qualities, especially sense of humour and strength. These qualities don't nullify the fact a women is fat and/or ugly. Some women can tolerate this, because the object of their desire is utility rather than fertility (in other words Bill Gates can be fat and attractive).



Here we go with the offensive **** again. I am not being offensive. You are being offended, that's all.

Men consider slutty behavior vicious because it impacts society negatively. It is good for men who want to gratify themselves... but it serves no good purpose for society. The result of casual sex, slutty behavior and "sexual liberation" is many fold. Firstly there is illegitimate children.

This has the results of either a poor family, money being sucked from a man (either the actual father or the "so-called" father), or money being sucked from the government (which is payed for mostly by men). The children of single mothers (custody usually goes to the mother) who don't have contact or much contact with a father don't fare well in life at all. In modern times this is not always the case. For example, there are many womens having abortions. This is also unwanted and negative. There are many women using sex steroids ruining their health by messing with their hormones. Also a negative.

There is also the point i ave made already, that having more sexual partners increases adultery and unfaithfulness. This is one reason why a womens virtue is based on her amount of sexual partners. This is important to know. A women who has had many sexual partners indicates a user who will use you until yer utility is all sucked up and then she will start whoring herself onto someone else. Abstaining from sex is virtous because it negates all of these negative effects I have mentioned.




I'll give you that one.



I don't think that's a sole indicator of worth. To be honest, I think men and women should move away from validating each others existence based on the opposite sex. Men especially have a problem that they only define their masculinity in regards to females and they let females define their masculinity for them i.e. "Do this, or yer not a real man, be a man, yer a pussy, etc". Biologically a woman who has many interested in her has a good pool of men to choose from and so will have more reproductive success.



If men find a woman unsuitable then she is unsuitable by definition (as far as partnering is concerned).



Bingo! I will admit it. Some other guys will admit it. Most women won't admit it. I am superficial in my attraction to the opposite sex, and so are you. I am never going to stop finding fertility attractive. You are never going to stop finding utility attractive.
I've had the sad misfortune of crossing paths with someone who has almost identical views as yourself. He was also under the delusion that because he was a male, his opinions were representative of every other man as well. I was very naive when I met him and actually believed this for a while. It actually made me very upset to think that majority of grown men out there were immature, judgemental arseholes. But eventually, with the more men I met in my life, I realised that he was a minority. Every other man, whether family or friend, is a lot more respectful of women and not as narrow-minded as I was lead to believe (thank goodness).

I'm not going to bother commenting on every single point you made because I'll basically be telling you that you are a horrible human being in 10+ different ways. Maybe somebody else will make the effort. (Plus, I chose to stop reading half way through)

I WILL say though, that I get the whole biology thing. Wanting to increase the fitness of your progeny, so you look for the healthiest mate. It's how evolution works, everyone gets it. But you can't use that as an excuse to basically say NO FAT CHICKS.
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#33 Old 06-20-2015, 09:39 PM
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Rolling on the floor laughing. I should tell all my hetero girl friends to not use dating websites because guys there are probably ugly, unatractive (= fat) and also virgin. Wait, don't you have a word in English that says virgin in a pejorative way ? that's the one I'm looking for. And what's the insult for a male slut ? Because they might be that too.

9gagger. Go to that website and you'll see what I mean
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#34 Old 06-21-2015, 02:40 AM
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I've had the sad misfortune of crossing paths with someone who has almost identical views as yourself. He was also under the delusion that because he was a male, his opinions were representative of every other man as well. I was very naive when I met him and actually believed this for a while. It actually made me very upset to think that majority of grown men out there were immature, judgemental arseholes. But eventually, with the more men I met in my life, I realised that he was a minority. Every other man, whether family or friend, is a lot more respectful of women and not as narrow-minded as I was lead to believe (thank goodness).

I'm not going to bother commenting on every single point you made because I'll basically be telling you that you are a horrible human being in 10+ different ways. Maybe somebody else will make the effort. (Plus, I chose to stop reading half way through)

I WILL say though, that I get the whole biology thing. Wanting to increase the fitness of your progeny, so you look for the healthiest mate. It's how evolution works, everyone gets it. But you can't use that as an excuse to basically say NO FAT CHICKS.
This.

All I can say to @Botanical Concepts is this: If believing that all men share your views helps you to sleep at night, then go for it-- but I'll be eternally grateful that the man I married is kind, compassionate, and thoughtful where you are petty, selfish, and thoughtless. So, thank you for reminding me to appreciate him a little more than usual.
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#35 Old 06-21-2015, 11:26 AM
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Pure trollage. "Can't even cook" lol
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#36 Old 06-23-2015, 04:46 PM
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I know when not to click a link.
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#37 Old 06-23-2015, 05:09 PM
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It was nothing clever or insightful, BC just found a woman who admits she doesnt cook. Big woop, ya?
The vids content matter wasnt my thing, and it was overlayed with misogynistic insult bubbles, but I did love their outfits. Reminded me of seattle, lol
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#38 Old 06-24-2015, 04:04 AM
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A lot of people don't cook. I don't understand the significance.
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#39 Old 06-24-2015, 06:16 AM
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Ahem. . Well.... I lived with quite a "prize" around ten years ago. According that one's view of life, the worth of the human female is directly connected to her ability to cook, clean, and have household needs taken care of. Because we all know that women belong barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen.
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#40 Old 06-24-2015, 06:23 AM
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Ahem. . Well.... I lived with quite a "prize" around ten years ago. According that one's view of life, the worth of the human female is directly connected to her ability to cook, clean, and have household needs taken care of. Because we all know that women belong barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen.
What a winner. He must have been one of those "alpha males" BC mentioned! It amuses me that it's always the same type of guy who feels threatened and defensive around feminists-- the kind who uses terms like "alpha male" in relation to human beings.

Interestingly enough, I have no problems being exactly that (barefoot, pregnant, in the kitchen) because it's legitimately what I've chosen for myself. My husband would support me no matter what decision I'd made, and is still the superior cook (although I'm learning!)
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#41 Old 06-24-2015, 06:28 AM
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More like, "what a weiner." Lol!! Ahhh..
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#42 Old 06-24-2015, 06:33 AM
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Well, jokes aside, if a person wants to take care of the house and kids, be it male or female, that's great for them. If that's what works in their relationship, good. It's what I do now, with the exception of some housekeeping jobs. But hopefully just until the kids are older and we live in a better school district, so I can go back to school.
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#43 Old 06-26-2015, 01:33 AM
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Making sure children are looked after is super important I think. I am 100% supportive of stay at home parents and if I had kids I would want one of us to do it if at all possible.
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#44 Old 06-26-2015, 03:56 AM
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If my husband were the recent immigrant and I were the national with an established career, undoubtedly our roles would be reversed and he would be a stay-at-home dad. He would be good at it, too!
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#45 Old 08-12-2015, 03:32 AM
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#46 Old 08-17-2015, 11:47 PM
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Hi , I'm Anjana <3
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#47 Old 08-20-2015, 05:57 PM
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I'm really glad that a couple of people quoted the posts from Botanical Concepts since the originals seem to have been deleted. I read to my wife what he wrote, and we had several good laughs. He's a hypocrite who can't string a sentence together, he obviously thinks he's much more clever than he actually is, and apparently he's been with women who were smart enough to figure our what a loser he is and dumped his sorry ass.

All men feel like you do? Sorry dude, the rest of us are pulling your man card.

I met my wife on a dating website. Amazingly she is none of the things that you described female users of those places to be. Getting back to the question by the OP, while it is important to list a few specific things about yourself that are significant, don't think of your online profile as a biography or a job résumé. Think of it as a conversation starter, one that at least makes the person reading it smile and want to get to know you better.

Then you have a chance to chat online and discover more details about each other. If you each decide to go forward from there and meet in person, you'll already have a great foundation for continuing the conversation.

I agree with others that dating websites aren't for everyone, and social gatherings and "meetups" of people who have at least one interest in common tales the pressure off of meeting new people.

By the way, here is the "ugly" Tees Munster that our friend Botanical Concepts was referring to. I can only imagine what a stunning example of manhood he must be.

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#48 Old 08-20-2015, 06:19 PM
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i always thought that if you could find a guy who was vegan and into one other thing that you were passionate about that 99% of the general public did not care for, that it would be a good match.

so on okcupid i did a search on vegan, and i did a search on classical music, and i found a guy. he was single, the right age, not bad looking. but he lived about 600 mlies away.

we spent a lot of time on the phone. he sent me presents in the mail. but one day he said something so disparaging about where i live that i got totally turned off. he seemed nice in other ways. i hope he found somebody.

i went out with another guy that i had nothing in common with and no interest in.

and then there was a third who was smart, sophisticated, educated, and just about the first thing he said was that he had a girlfriend who did not want him "that way" anymore and he was looking for something on the side. pass.

i gave up on online dating. i think you need to meet somebody in person, develop things from that. but that doesn't work too well, either, hah hah.

at some point i gave up, said the heck with it, and got three dogs. maybe i am too picky. or pickier than i have a right to be. or something like that.
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#49 Old 08-21-2015, 12:55 AM
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I can't remember if I mentioned that my husband and I met online and are now living together and expecting a baby. It can absolutely work, even long distance! It just requires a bit more patience and trust. I think it helps that both of us were slightly older (30s and 40s) and looking for a serious relationship rather than a fling.
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#50 Old 08-25-2015, 10:04 PM
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I met my partner online (I never thought I'd find true love online though!), I'm not strictly vegan but eat fish, and sometimes eggs if I know they're ethically produced. So I'm something like 90% vegan, though it varies.

This was definitely different from my partner, who dislikes fish and loves stakes and chicken wings and such! But I have always believed when you find someone that's right for you, things like that, just like what you study or where you live or what you're into, doesn't really matter. It's good and important to have some common interest and most of all, similar values, but the same values manifest differently with different people and at different times. Me and my partner are both people who respect other people's choices and freedom and don't judge just because someone's different from us.

If I was a plant eater who thought I was better than others because of what I eat (as if that was everything there is to life and ethics!) or incapable of accepting other people's different choices, that might have been a problem. I'm very, very passionate about things like food production, its impact on animals and environment as well as health. But I never ever judge what other people do as I'm not perfect or better than others for that (I'm still not a perfect person, after all! Who is?). My partner always says he loves how passionate I'm about that stuff as he always values people who are interested in things and care. But he's said he also found it amazing and refreshing that I was so open and respectful and that I said I was fine with him eating whatever he wants, without a trace of disapproval. As I respect him never complaining about me making my green juices and smoothies and hunting for superfoods. He said I also inspire him to eat healthier and I often make smoothies and such for him as well and he's eating a lot of vegetarian these days.

I wouldn't mention first thing that I'm a vegan (plus anyway I'm plant-based), but just because that's not the basis of my identity and I have no need to shout it out, though I'm perfectly open about my choice. For me, it's an important thing, but I'm also so much more and it's just my lifestyle choice. But some people may experience that differently so I think it depends on that.
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#51 Old 09-04-2015, 02:39 PM
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I was always really honest about being vegan when I started talking to people. I don't think I would put it on my profile. I find it to be a great conversation starter once people stop asking me where I get my protein.
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#52 Old 10-24-2017, 11:43 AM
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I turned vegan recently and I had always looking for a good online dating site that would let me at least message others for free. Every site for online dating seems so complicated or old. I just found this one site that lets me message free and I wonder what you guys think. Not so many people in it yet but a friend told me they just launched. ahimsa.one is the address.
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#53 Old 01-06-2018, 11:49 AM
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No, its not you, i have tried too online dating and its always awkward i think.The main thing is if you are happy dating a meat eater , which i personally wouldnt be,it just doesnt make sense . Theres a dating site specifically for veggies in fact several.Google it and see
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#54 Old 01-06-2018, 11:55 AM
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I think a good idea would be a dating section on this site, its great and nice to meet likeminded people all together for a change,ieven if not in person
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#55 Old 01-06-2018, 06:20 PM
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No, its not you, i have tried too online dating and its always awkward i think.The main thing is if you are happy dating a meat eater , which i personally wouldnt be,it just doesnt make sense . Theres a dating site specifically for veggies in fact several.Google it and see

I had better luck going to vegetarian and vegan Meetups. It's more casual than a date, and with less pressure. You get to meet lots of people over a period of time - maybe a more natural, relaxed way to look for the right person. Free, too. It's how I met my beautiful vegan wife.

http://www.meetup.com
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Specific recommendations for a healthy diet include: eating more fruit, vegetables, legumes, nuts and grains; cutting down on salt, sugar and fats. It is also advisable to choose unsaturated fats, instead of saturated fats and towards the elimination of trans-fatty acids."
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http://www.who.int/topics/diet/en/
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#56 Old 01-07-2018, 07:53 AM
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Do any of you have a problem with online dating and being vegan? I'm wondering whether I might have more success if I don't put in my profile, because it might be less of an issue when somebody knows me better and can't form preconceptions.

Or it could just be that I'm unattractive, haha

Vegans and veggie girls don't reply to me either, I'd have thought they'd at least want a chat.

I have a lot of experience with online dating, met my wife through POF.

One thing I know is be as real as you can without letting them know everything, so you have the physical date to talk about.

Being vegan shouldn't really be a huge deal breaker.


Tips: Post your most attractive photos (not selfies), be positive (smiles are great), and a quick little bio.

Another TIP if you do poorly where you are, you can always try elsewhere/go on vacation. In eastern europe women liked my physical appearance a lot more than say in Canada, and my buddies who are pasty did a lot better say in China than they did in USA/Canada. And my russian friends did a lot better in latin america than in Russia/Eastern Europe. And by better, I mean going on more dates, more responsive women, etc.
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#57 Old 01-08-2018, 03:13 AM
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I have a lot of experience with online dating, met my wife through POF.

One thing I know is be as real as you can without letting them know everything, so you have the physical date to talk about.

Being vegan shouldn't really be a huge deal breaker.


Tips: Post your most attractive photos (not selfies), be positive (smiles are great), and a quick little bio.

Another TIP if you do poorly where you are, you can always try elsewhere/go on vacation. In eastern europe women liked my physical appearance a lot more than say in Canada, and my buddies who are pasty did a lot better say in China than they did in USA/Canada. And my russian friends did a lot better in latin america than in Russia/Eastern Europe. And by better, I mean going on more dates, more responsive women, etc.
LOL, you're one of the lucky ones in terms of POF guys then. I think the usual experience is men are lucky to get A response from a women in a day, whereas women get sometimes hundreds of messages in a day. TBH when I used to be on it I would sometimes message someone simply estimating higher chance of response, with which goes a certain sense of validation. Reality being I really saw basically zero chance of anything with said person. I have a long list of dealbreakers (if she has kids, anything but the most and small inoffensive tattoos, saddled with significant debt, enthusiastic meat consumer etc etc) and, like cuberail above said, it's FAAAAAR better to be alone than be in some horribly compromised relationship.

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#58 Old 01-10-2018, 09:52 AM
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Youre very lucky !! Congratulations!
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#59 Old 03-09-2018, 08:00 AM
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This site is mostly for disvussions
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#60 Old 03-12-2018, 01:38 PM
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Curiously, VB sent me email listing this thread as a "top discussion".

I can say that in the 2004-2005 timeframe when I found myself single, my experience with online dating was:

o There were multiple veg dating sites. They mostly had a common subset of people. The closest to critical mass was veggiedate.org.
o On the mainstream dating sites, being vegan was a distinct disadvantage
o Even on veg dating sites, I found that "I want a guy with a full head of hair" meant a "full head of short hair". I had to cut mine.
o I *ran* my city's vegan meetup. The single women who showed up were almost entirely much younger.
o It was my experience that engaging someone in person at any event was a recipe for failure.
o I was told by vegan women that a guy responding to the contents of their profile, or with more than a few sentences, would be rejected immediately. They also would never make first contact, so there was a very narrow path to even being considered.
o It was also my experience at that time that women on online dating sites defaulted to assuming that guys were perps until proven otherwise. Maybe they had good cause for that.
o For omni women a vegan guy was usually a non-starter.
o I can't speak for what criteria other guys had when considering matches. I was looking for a life partner, my only hard/fast criterion was nonsmoking. The other team seemed to be shopping for Mr. Fantasy Man. I saw that eg. a 6'5" omni guy was often more appealing than a 6'6" vegan guy.

Along the way I ended up dating two professors, both Fulbright scholars. One dumped me because I didn't persist when she said "no".

I ended up meeting my wife on eHarmony. A difference there was that the higher price of entry tended to weed out the window shoppers. The downside was that I was at the mercy of their algorithm, which surprisingly often often sent me matches that liked fishing/hunting.
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