Would you go to a Kentucky Derby-themed party? - VeggieBoards
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#1 Old 04-24-2015, 09:00 AM
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Would you go to a Kentucky Derby-themed party?

My boyfriend's coworker has invited us to a Kentucky Derby party next weekend. I'm unsure of whether to go. On the one hand, my boyfriend likes this guy and his other coworkers, and we've been trying to be more social lately. On the other hand, horse racing is cruel animal exploitation and I don't want to celebrate it, even if the race is just an excuse to have a party. (Apparently there will also be barbecue.)

1. Should I go?
2. Should I express any of my views, either in declining the invitation or at the party? I obviously don't want to preach at everyone, but am I obligated to inform them that I have an objection? In situations like this, it's hard for me to say nothing.
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#2 Old 04-24-2015, 09:09 AM
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Since it's not a family member and just a boyfriend's coworker, I think you can pass it up if you don't feel comfortable going. You don't need to express anything, just a simple "I will not be able to attend your party" should be enough



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#3 Old 04-24-2015, 10:13 AM
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I'd just politely decline.
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#4 Old 04-24-2015, 10:46 AM
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I think I would just politely decline, without going into the reasons why, since I'd have a hard time keeping my mouth shut if I went, and criticizing the event underlying the party would be very bad manners indeed.
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#5 Old 04-24-2015, 01:58 PM
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I agree with everyone else:

"Thanks so much for thinking of me, but I already have plans" and if you like the people and might want to hang out in the future you could also add "maybe we could do something another time".
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#6 Old 04-28-2015, 02:11 AM
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For what it's worth, I disagree with others. I would go. If it's potluck, you could bring a tried - and - true vegan dish...

And, I think it's possible to, if the opportunity arises, make a non-preachy mention of why horse racing is bad...

I think it could come up in those one-on-one conversations you have with people.

Example: "We're glad we're here! It's fun to hang out with you guys, even though I'm not into horse racing. I mean, a couple of years ago, didn't one of the horses get injured and die? I mean, geez. So, we're here for the social thing, but aren't horse racing fans."

So you can just mention it, and change the subject yourself.

By not going, you're not making an anti-horse racing statement. (And it wouldn't be the best to tell people tou aren't going because you don't believe in horse racing.)

By going, you're being social, and planting seeds of doubt that horse racing is awesome and harmless



Quote:
Originally Posted by dormouse View Post
My boyfriend's coworker has invited us to a Kentucky Derby party next weekend. I'm unsure of whether to go. On the one hand, my boyfriend likes this guy and his other coworkers, and we've been trying to be more social lately. On the other hand, horse racing is cruel animal exploitation and I don't want to celebrate it, even if the race is just an excuse to have a party. (Apparently there will also be barbecue.)

1. Should I go?
2. Should I express any of my views, either in declining the invitation or at the party? I obviously don't want to preach at everyone, but am I obligated to inform them that I have an objection? In situations like this, it's hard for me to say nothing.
#7 Old 04-28-2015, 02:32 AM
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In my opinion, by attending a horse race, whether I would pay for it or not, I would be demonstrating that it is ok with me and that is NOT cool with ME.

I'd probably politely decline but offer to do something else with them at another time. If I knew the people well and trusted them, I might explain why I would not attend and try to keep it on a personal level (not preachy), but if they were more acquaintances, I might not go into that.

In the end, only kindness matters. - Jewel



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#8 Old 04-28-2015, 05:00 AM
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Thanks for the responses everyone. The majority opinion was the one I was leaning toward, but luckily I don't think it will even be an issue because my boyfriend has made plans to go hiking in the mountains that weekend.

Still, I think this has highlighted an important point--if we want to be more social but not end up at events that feature animal abuse (however indirectly), we should host more or at least be the organizers of outings. For most of my social life, I've been more of a follower, but that's becoming less and less satisfying.
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#9 Old 04-28-2015, 09:38 AM
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Just recently there was a horrible collision of racehorces at a local racetrack, and at least two were killed due to severe injuries. I could not go to the party, even though wearing a hat would be fun.
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#10 Old 04-28-2015, 10:42 AM
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Although I was the dissenting voice, I support your decision.

I think I'm coming from a place of how to deal with unavoidable situations, only in your case, it is avoidable.

The worst thing I chose not to avoid - because saying no would have seemed to imply I thought I was morally superior to everyone, and hurt our cause with people, plus, it was an engagement party, so it was a significant event - was a pig roast. That was horrible, and I don't think I could do it again.
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