The positive "living with an omni" thread - VeggieBoards
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#1 Old 01-08-2015, 07:51 PM
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The positive "living with an omni" thread

There are so many doom and gloom posts on here about the terrible friction a veg/vegan diet can cause can cause in a relationship or family or friendship even. It's very sad to me. My family has never been supportive and find it outright shameful. Friends over the years have laughed at me about it or found it weird. I know how hard that can be I think we need a thread of encouragement from those of us living with a supportive omni(s) to give others hope that they do exist!

I just want to publicly give my hubby props for being so open minded and supportive of my dietary choices. He's not antagonized me about being a vegetarian or only cooking veg food ever. If anything, he's always been curious because he never met a vegetarian before me and only had a 'stereotype' in his head. Lately, he's been very open to at least trying my raw vegan 'creations' and has liked a good majority. A few he's heated up and some he just didn't like, but overall he's actually been enjoying the new recipes and doing his own research into this diet (though he will not be converting 100%, he does think it will be more healthy to incorporate more raw vegan foods). I've also been doing some meals a raw version for myself and a cooked/regular version for him (like pasta or pizza). I think having a mutually respectful attitude helps a lot, and that there are many omnis out there like my husband who are open minded, it's just the rude minority who want to harass/berate or shove meat in your face seem to overshadow the good ones.

Anyone else care to share about their open minded and supportive spouse/partner/family/roommate? Just to let people know that not ALL omnis are "against" us veg/vegans!
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#2 Old 01-08-2015, 08:00 PM
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I'm very glad to hear that your husband supports your being a vegetarian. Tension and antagonism doesn't help anything to flow. I wish you many beautiful years together.
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#3 Old 01-08-2015, 08:08 PM
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I find it odd that people who are close and who agree on many things can have completely different opinions about animal welfare...Sadly, in my experience, this can lead to arguments...Maybe we can hear some more positive stories here
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Why is the suffering and killing of animals wrong? Because the value of a sentient organism's life is priceless. They are their own beings and have their own lives and loves. They have higher emotions and thought processes. Their minds are different from ours in degree, not kind - meaning that fundamentally there are critical similarities.
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#4 Old 01-08-2015, 10:35 PM
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I don't know how positive this is since I'm not converting anyone, but my household family does get me vegan food from the vegan restaurant/store near us on a regular basis, and buy food for me they won't eat when grocery shopping. However, they don't eat vegan at all, except sometimes when there's leftovers from my food and one of them eats it. Sucks they'll probably never eat vegan/vegetarian, but I'm thankful they never made it hard on me; very much the opposite. And outside the house, people have been open minded about it, or at least don't rudely question me about not eating meat.
To be honest, I've always been spoiled when it came to meal times even when I was a kid and ate meat - I was always asked what I wanted for lunch or dinner, and they'd make what I said I wanted. I was never told, "You eat what I put on the table!". I think that kids/teens with parents with that rule do have a much harder time trying to be vegan.
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#5 Old 01-09-2015, 02:24 AM
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I have lived with an omnivore as a vegan for four years as of next month. We have been together for a total of 16 years though. Not going to lie that for the first year it was rough going as he truly did not understand what I was doing and my veganism had a profound impact on his life. We used to go to places like the zoo, state Fair, dog sled races, many restaurants together. All that changed when I went vegan. I used to cook him his favorite meals and that too changed. We did have a lot of arguments.

But over time and patience and with him really and truly trying to understand why I was/am doing what I do, he came around quite a bit and has for the most part been VERY supportive. What other husband would agree to not use certain cookware and dishes in the house for his animal products? I have my own cupboard and we have separate areas of the refrigerator for our foods. He stopped cooking meat when I am home and for the most part stopped eating it at home. He stopped arguing with me and getting mad when I refused to prepare nonvegan dishes for him and has instead embraced my vegan meals which I faithfully cook and prepare every single day. And the half dozen times we eat out during the year, he faithfully goes along with the few restaurants I will selectively eat at that have vegan options. I deplore fast food restuarants for many reasons and because he knows how strongly I feel about them, he has not stepped foot in one for over three years (though he buys junk food at the grocery store lol).

Even when we prepared for a weeklong canoe camping trip into the BWCAW in 2013, he went along with my all vegan menu for our food (which consequently is so much easier to haul on a weeklong camping trip with no refrigeration than omni food). When I got into a period of leafleting and tabling for Vegan Outreach at many local colleges and high schools (though at first he was apprehensive) he was supportive of that and even came along at at Christmas parade downtown that I leafleted and helped support me by hanging on to some of the leaflets for me and chiming in if someone was hostile. And he passed a few out himself, including one to a security cop lol. Only my husband can charm a cop lol.

We have gone to animal rights events surrounding the wolf hunt in Minnesota together, and share environmental concerns and so on. We try to find common ground where we can. He happily eats all vegan at my vegan family get togethers with my Mom and sister. And he defends me when we go to visit his omnivore family out of town and they talk about health and food etc.

When he realized that some of his favorite UFC fighters (he is into that stuff, I am NOT) are vegan, he read more about their experience and I think that helped him realize that being vegan can be incredibly healthy and sustainable.

We still don't see eye to eye on farm animals and he is very much addicted to his dairy and eggs, but at least he respects my choices more now and gone are the early days of "maybe it's your diet" for every little negative experience in my life.

Our relationship is about so much more than my veganism, and in many other ways in his life he is a very humble and compassionate person. He has been through experiences that most people will never comprehend, including time in prison (long story). And I love that he embraces life despite his own shortcomings and struggles and has really made the most of it over the time we have known each other. We sort of grew up together, having come from desperate situations before we met.

Yes, sometimes it is still hard to live with an omnivore. I dislike seeing a carton of eggs in my refrigerator, even if they came from an "organic free range" farm. I wish his own diet was healthier and not loaded with junk, and I wish he would eat more of the vegetables and fruits I prepare for him. I do compromise for him and make more "junk food" vegan style meals for him because he will eat those, and I make the healthier stuff for myself. If ever I found myself single again most likely I would not date a nonvegan, but I also feel fortunate to have a husband who gets my car out for me every morning and starts it when it is cold, and who shares my love of hiking and outdoor adventures, who does the dishes every day, who I can come home to after a hard day of work and talk about it and he listens. He would give his life for me. Once we were way out on a pier on Lake Superior. It was cold that day and windy. Suddenly I saw a rogue wave coming at us and pointed it out to Greg. We didn't have enough time to get off the pier. He threw his body over me and we held on to the rail and the wave crashed over the wall and over the top of us and we held on to each other and the rail. He took the brunt of the wave and protected me. I will never forget that.
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#6 Old 01-09-2015, 07:37 AM
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I've always been lucky that my husband is extremely supportive. After having an in-depth discussion early on in our relationship, he realized how important this is to me and he was instantly supportive. He knows my issues with seeing dead animals and secretions in our fridge/freezer/pantry so he keeps a very small amount of microwavable foods in a separate freezer and he never cooks them while I'm at home. Otherwise our home is kept vegan. He even bought me a new pots and pans for Christmas because our last set was given to us (during rough financial times) about four years ago and it always grossed me out that they had had meat cooked in them, but we hadn't taken the time to replace them yet.

Can I also say it's so crazy for me that when I first went vegan (many moons ago) I thought vegans who were grossed out by things like that were so weird. Years later, it grosses me out too >_<

I still get bothered that he orders animals when we go out to eat, but I just keep planting seeds.


(Edit: Also, I'm currently need two more people to take a survey I'm doing on interdietary households. It's research into doing an article that will be out hopefully in February. If anyone in this thread are interested the link is https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/C2K5D6B Hope that's okay to post!)
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#7 Old 01-09-2015, 09:48 AM
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Great idea for a thread.
My advice is to hash out asap what you are going to feed the future kids (if you are hetero and having sex.) That tends to be the real problem with "mixed" veg/omni couples.

A couple of good articles:

http://www.ourfreshkitchen.com/artic...ns-carnivores/

http://www.kitchentreaty.com/vegetar...n-the-kitchen/
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#8 Old 01-09-2015, 09:59 AM
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Hubby is an omni who really enjoys vegetarian food. He eats whatever I cook, and takes veggie lunches to work most days. He has meat out at resturaunts, or when I prepare some for him to add to an otherwise veggie entree. (we still have meat in the deep freeze from before I went veggie)

Our kids lean heavily veggie, but I dont force it. I just dont have much meat around, and we dont eat out often, so the kids eat a predominately vegetarian diet. I have one child who is grossed out by meat, so he never wants any ever, as always.

Its not a big deal right now, thankfully. Maybe as the kids get older they will associate vegetarianism with their uncool mom, and then will demand steak breakfasts. Time will tell.
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#9 Old 01-10-2015, 01:41 AM
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Originally Posted by LedBoots View Post
My advice is to hash out asap what you are going to feed the future kids (if you are hetero and having sex.) That tends to be the real problem with "mixed" veg/omni couples.
Any ideas on this, for future reference?
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#10 Old 01-10-2015, 07:30 AM
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Fortunately I was a vegetarian when I met my ex, so if he wasn't supportive, then the relationship never would have progressed. He didn't cook, and was very open minded to vegan food and let me do all the cooking. He loved vegetarian chili and actually liked tempeh and tofu which he'd never had until we met. Since he didn't cook, when he was on his own he went out or made do however he could. I knew I had a good man when one I asked him what he did for dinner one night when I was at work and he said "I just went to the store and got some veggie burgers...by the way you haven't made tempeh in a while, when can we have that again".

I'm single now but he was a good guy in that respect the ten years we were together.
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#11 Old 01-10-2015, 01:11 PM
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Originally Posted by Go Vegan View Post
Any ideas on this, for future reference?
Tbh, in most cases I've heard about, it usually winds up with the children eating meat at the in-laws and when the omni cooks, and veg when the veg parent cooks. Everyone and their brother nags the veg parent about taking away the child's "choice" by feeding only vegetarian food.

My husband and I went veg and then vegan together about 10 years ago. Our older child was ~15 then and remains omni but cooks and eats vegan often. Son is vegan (the whole thing was his idea in the first place.)

So I don't have any answers, I just think that couples who want children might be better off figuring out a plan ahead of time.
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#12 Old 01-10-2015, 02:13 PM
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Any ideas on this, for future reference?
My husband and I do intend to have kids in the future. Our agreement has always been to raise them vegan from birth with the exception of breastmilk. I do not personally consider breastmilk to be non-vegan, as it is willingly given, from myself and is the perfect food for babies and I do intend to breastfeed any children I have barring medical reasons I couldn't. We want to raise them as unbiased as possible in regards to diet as well as politics and religious views. As we plan to homeschool until they are old enough to decide for themselves if they want to go to a public school also, that should be easy as we just won't have those foods available/if my husband orders meat at a restaurant it can just be passed off the same way alcohol is to kids as "adult food" and topics meant to be discussed by adults will be kept amongst adults. When they are old enough to make an INFORMED decision regarding their diet/religion/political views/things they feel passionate about, whether they choose to remain vegan or to try meat/animal products or join a religion or register to vote, that will be THEIR choice at that point. The only reason we want vegan from birth is to eliminate the potential for guilt in the future if they do end up feeling strongly about exploitation of animals. I do not agree with imposing my views on an impressionable mind that is unable to critically think yet. My husband and I both find this to be a fair agreement. We want our future children to be individuals who make their own decisions in life, not clones of us or little robots following one way of thinking they have been raised not to question. Just our 'agreement' and opinion on this matter. May not be right for everyone though.

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#13 Old 01-10-2015, 02:29 PM
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Thanks for the advice, LedBoots and kiwibird08...

Difficult problem to navigate through!
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#14 Old 01-10-2015, 10:23 PM
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It always makes me sad to read that so many people have such issues with their partners, families and friends regarding their veg beliefs. I have not had that experience at all. While, not everyone I've come across has been perfect, I've really had mostly good experiences. Here are some examples:

1) When I went vegan in college, I was already living with a bf. I prepared all the veggies/grains/beans for meals and he bought himself a little electric grill that he used to cook his own meat out on the balcony. I never asked him to be veg and he never tried to de-rail me from my beliefs.

2) At my old workplace, my coworkers were so nice to think of me in special lunch situations. They would always order a special veg lunch whenever we ordered in to the office and someone even bought me veggie burgers for a cookout.

3) My mother-in-law was a vegetarian as a child due to the fact that she couldn't stand eating the animals they raised on their farm. The first time we met, which was at Christmas, she actually made me special vegetarian tamales and has made them for me every year since. She even color-codes the tie so I know which ones are for me. She also makes awesome tortillas and beans. My father-in-law, her husband, is a health fanatic and always seemed to really admire vegetarianism.

4) My husband (different guy than the previously mentioned bf) will happily eat whatever I cook. He has no interest in being veg, but also doesn't feel he needs meat at every given meal. If it tastes good, he'll eat it. He was even open to the idea of raising our kids veg (which unfortunately didn't happen for my son for medical reasons). My husband is really an understanding and kind-hearted person, which is one of the reasons I married him Honestly, we have never had an argument regarding veg stuff.

5) My parents have always been supportive of anything that makes me happy and see me as a smart and capable person, so they tend not to question the way I live my life. I introduced them to my husband over a home-cooked vegan Thanksgiving dinner at my house. I know my dad missed the traditional foods, but he was good natured and did not complain. We had a great evening!
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#15 Old 01-11-2015, 07:28 AM
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I'm not in a mixed relationship, but my childhood friend was raised by an omni dad and an almost vegan mom (she wasn't strict about trace ingredients). They agreed to raise their children lacto-ovo until the age of 13. The dad ate meat when not at home, and she didn't protest when he made them cheese omlettes at home. Even when they seperated when my friend was 6, she said her dad did not feed her meat when she visited him. When her and siblings turned 13, they could decide what they wanted to eat. One went vegan (and cared about trace ingredients), one stayed vegetarian, and one went omni. I lost touch with them after high school, so I don't know they kept their dietary choices.
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#16 Old 01-11-2015, 12:37 PM
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an almost vegan mom (she wasn't strict about trace ingredients).
Just wondered how you define "trace" ingredients?

Do you mean ACTUAL ingredients or do you mean the warning sometimes given: "Produced in a factory that also makes x, so MAY contain traces of x"?
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#17 Old 01-11-2015, 01:29 PM
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Just wondered how you define "trace" ingredients?

Do you mean ACTUAL ingredients or do you mean the warning sometimes given: "Produced in a factory that also makes x, so MAY contain traces of x"?
I don't know. This was my childhood friend's mother. My (former) friend stated her mom was almost vegan and didn't eat anything overtly dairy/egg. I'm not friends with them anymore, so I can't ask her to clarify.
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#18 Old 01-11-2015, 02:12 PM
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I don't know. This was my childhood friend's mother. My (former) friend stated her mom was almost vegan and didn't eat anything overtly dairy/egg. I'm not friends with them anymore, so I can't ask her to clarify.
Oh ok!
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#19 Old 03-25-2015, 07:08 AM
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I was a vegetarian for 5 years. Now for two years i am omni and i'm living with omni. But. We want to became again vegetarians)
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#20 Old 03-25-2015, 08:15 AM
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Thanks for the link to Kitchen Treaty, LedBoots! What an awesome resource. My husband and I are an international long distance couple at the moment, but we'll be living together soon and I'd like to have a variety of mealtime options. He's omni but very cool about my veganism, and in fact he expects to cut most meat out of his diet gradually, anyway. I don't want to pressure him at all, but I do want to offer delicious vegan meals so that the transition, should he decide to make it, is easy.
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#21 Old 03-28-2015, 05:28 PM
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I've been living with my omni hubby for 41 years, the last ten of which I have been meat, egg and dairy free. We have no issues except for an occasional "yuck" comment about something I'm eating that he doesn't like. Then I just hit him with the frying pan. Ha!


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#22 Old 04-12-2015, 05:27 PM
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My husband isn't vegetarian but it fine we learned how to live with it. I think it's been four years I didn't keep track. But my husband is fine with it as long as I cook him meat and not force it on him. As long as I stay lactose ovo he's happy. He eats some veggie dishs and will try some for me. We make it work and we are both happy.
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#23 Old 04-12-2015, 05:55 PM
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My husband isn't vegetarian but it fine we learned how to live with it. I think it's been four years I didn't keep track. But my husband is fine with it as long as I cook him meat and not force it on him. As long as I stay lactose ovo he's happy. He eats some veggie dishs and will try some for me. We make it work and we are both happy.
Your husband sounds like an ass.

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#24 Old 04-12-2015, 06:41 PM
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I can't even imagine not having a partner who is in on it with me. My partner and I switched pretty much at the same time (slaughterhouse videos, man). I just can't fathom not having that synchronicity with such an important issue.

I'm sorry y'all have to stand on your own. Honest question: Do any of you think you will be able to convince your partner someday?
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#25 Old 04-12-2015, 06:42 PM
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Originally Posted by karenlovessnow;3603538Then I just hit him with the frying pan. Ha! [emoji12
LOL! Might have to try this myself next time my husband teases me And I have a couple cast iron ones (of course I'm joking, maybe)
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#26 Old 04-12-2015, 06:58 PM
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I'm sorry y'all have to stand on your own. Honest question: Do any of you think you will be able to convince your partner someday?
I don't know if my husband will ever go vegan. That's up to him. He recently cut WAY back on dairy (basically gave it up) after seeing some of those recent articles that have been all over the news sites on how bad dairy is for you and then watching some youtube videos (I didn't even bring it up, he saw the articles and went and did his OWN research). Any step in the right direction is good in my book (even better when it was a result of his own desire, not me nagging).
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#27 Old 07-02-2015, 01:53 PM
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Anything's possible. I mean we've made big steps already but if he does make the switch then it'll be because he wants to.
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#28 Old 07-03-2015, 04:12 AM
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I can't even imagine not having a partner who is in on it with me. My partner and I switched pretty much at the same time (slaughterhouse videos, man). I just can't fathom not having that synchronicity with such an important issue.

I'm sorry y'all have to stand on your own. Honest question: Do any of you think you will be able to convince your partner someday?
My husband has already cut down on the meat he eats. We don't keep meat in the house at all. Of course I would be thrilled if he cut it out entirely, and more so if he cut out dairy and eggs, but that's not my decision to make. I love him and I'm prepared to accept him as an omnivore for life if that's what ends up happening.
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#29 Old 09-21-2015, 07:08 AM
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I've been dating an omni recently, and I think we'll be together for a long time. He is more than willing to eat at vegan and vegetarian restaurants with me, and sometimes at other restaurants he'll order something without meat. This could be because he grew up vegetarian, although he has no intention to stop eating meat completely. Last night he asked if we lived together, whether it would bother me for him to be cooking meat around me. I had considered that already. I said that I would not be willing to cook it, but that it wouldn't bother me for him to do so. So I think he is supportive, though he'll tease me about it! Really he just wants to know whether that will be a bother to me.
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#30 Old 09-21-2015, 10:17 AM
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I'm a single mom. My son is the one who got me on the vegan path and for many months he followed, then went vegetarian then started slowly eating meat once more, but not chicken, because he is obsessed with them lol.

He'll turn 14 next month and we recently has a discussion. I think he is old enough to cook his own meat and he said he's fine with that as long as I teach him how. He respect my lifestyle a lot and to be honest don't consume much animal products. He's not a fan of cheese, yogurt and rarely eat eggs. He is always stealing food from my vegan plate How we go about this is: I make a vegan meal and he can have non-vegan stuff with it, that way I don't cook 2 suppers. Most of the time though he'll eat vegan with me, especially when it's tofu night, he loves tofu, or homemade veggie burgers which he thinks taste better then beef burgers.

I think it's important that I let him choose his path as a teenager. He already consumes a ton less animal products then a normal person so I'm glad for that. I think over time he might come back to being vegan but that has to be his choice. There is a lot happening during teenager years and one step at the time is a good thing. He is already slim but lately started exercising with me in the evenings, drinks more water etc. He is making good choices.

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