Hi, I could really do with some advice…
About a year ago now I received an email from an amazing vegan guy, who had come across a bio of mine on a fantasy art website and found that we had a lot in common.
It didn’t take long for us to develop strong feelings for one-another, and I love him to pieces, but there are some things that are weighing heavily on my mind and affecting my ability to communicate what I want to.
There’s no way I can possibly describe this guy and the situation to you accurately, but here goes. He has been searching for Miss Right for quite a while, and has certain ‘specifications’ I guess you could say. She must be vegan (ethical reasons), agnostic/atheist, big into art and imagination (i.e. very creative), be ambitious and very intelligent (etc.). I am an agnostic, artistic vegan, but my ambition and intelligence diminishes considerably in comparison to him, as with most other aspects of myself… In fact, I can barely think of anything I can do at an equal level to him. I’m a very emotional, dependant and shy person with very low self-esteem, and he is very independent and confident. He has been an incredible influence and inspiration on me, and I’ve come a long way in the past year thanks to him, but I can’t shake a feeling of guilt. When someone (despite being incredibly supportive and just mind-blowing in general), is so overwhelmingly intelligent etc. I can’t help but feel small and insignificant in comparison. I can’t offer him what he has been looking for, but I love him so much that I don’t want to lose him, so I feel selfish that this ‘relationship’ comes across as very one-sided; I usually feel more like a pupil than an equal.
I can’t get this guy out of my mind, and I’m slowly driving myself nuts about this... Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.