Vegan dating and relationships - VeggieBoards
Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#1 Old 01-10-2014, 01:15 PM
 
Peter Gittens's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 39

Hi,

 

Its been a crazy journey since I decided to become vegetarian. I now am transitioning to being a vegan since researching what really happens in the dairy industry (Read Whitewash the book if you have a chance).

 

But most recently I found it difficult to be a vegan when everybody around me is not. It is hard to do something radically different than your family. There will be lots of trials and tribulations. The reason why I am posting here is because I want to get your opinion on dating and meeting new people. Assuming most of you are vegans or vegetarians, do you prefer to meet somebody vegetarian or to meet and date somebody regardless of their diet and lifestyle? I mean we can't discriminate, but if two people have very different opinions on stuff, then the relationship may turn sour. Recently I haven't found many people who were already veg and wanted to date. I'm a very busy student, so maybe I don't even have time to hang out or date people, but I want your opinions.

 

I am also a little shy, so I'm already at a disadvantage. I try not to overwhelm people with the lifestyle choices that I make. I let my cooking do the talking.

Peter Gittens is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
#2 Old 01-10-2014, 01:47 PM
 
CoeyCoey's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 104

Try being a vegan, anarchist, atheist, anti-natalist, misanthrope.   Even most vegans will hate ya.  Well, in the US anyway.  

CoeyCoey is offline  
#3 Old 01-10-2014, 05:42 PM
 
Peter Gittens's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 39
Lol. Sounds about right.
Peter Gittens is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
#4 Old 01-10-2014, 06:31 PM
Herbivorous Urchin
 
River's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 9,717
I could never date a non-vegan, and I havent since I went vegan many years ago. I believe in it too strongly and have devoted too much of my life and future to making animal's lives better.

That being said ive dated a lot of vegan men, and fallen madly in love with one in particular..
Peter Gittens likes this.

Quote:
"You will always be fond of me. I represent to you all the sins you never had the courage to commit.”
Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray
River is offline  
#5 Old 01-10-2014, 07:44 PM
 
Peter Gittens's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 39
Quote:
Originally Posted by River View Post

I could never date a non-vegan, and I havent since I went vegan many years ago. I believe in it too strongly and have devoted too much of my life and future to making animal's lives better.

That being said ive dated a lot of vegan men, and fallen madly in love with one in particular..

I met a vegetarian girl a little while ago and I really din't know she was team veg until diet and food came up in our conversation. Before I knew she was veg, I thought there was something different about her and something very interesting about her. We never went out though for whatever reason. Going back to what you said, being a vegan has really blown my mind. I have a whole new respect for all sentient beings on earth now. And I've become more frugal now. I've changed my whole personality over the years now that I think about it. 

Peter Gittens is offline  
#6 Old 01-10-2014, 08:48 PM
 
princess tofu's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 28

My partner is an omni and so is my daughter... I've just recently retransitioned, but he is supportive, and she is trying more and more of the things I eat. I'm pretty sure I can get her to be vegan eventually (just worried about her nutrition etc, we need to go to a very open-minded doctor or something), and he does cook meals for me and is super considerate.. He never once questioned or mocked my initial decision to go back to being vegan and that was very important for me. I have hope that eventually he'll go 'my way,' but right now he's switching to a high protein, low carb diet, and he has put a plethora of meats on the shopping list, which he is going to have to physically pick up with me on our shopping trip because I have serious emotional reactions to packaged meat. He eats my stuff a lot though! I just wish he could see that he can do it too; he's diabetic (with terribly high sugar levels, to the point that he was in a coma once), and I really think it would benefit him even solely for health reasons.

Peter Gittens likes this.
princess tofu is offline  
#7 Old 01-10-2014, 09:45 PM
 
Peter Gittens's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 39
Just keep encouraging them! For me, I have influenced my family to become healthy by cooking them great tasting food to the point where they don't care about things like iron or B12. I found that telling family about their dangerous diet with meat in it isn't powerful enough because no one wants to hear what we have to say. If you really want them to change, subtly cook them amazing meals. Trust me, people refuse to be told what to eat and how to live and especially us guys won't listen to words. Google some recipes and personally prepare some food. On holiday I cooked half of the vegetarian dishes and everybody was really impressed. Even the kids liked my quinoa salad. Congrats on becoming a vegan. You are doing better than me. I haven't fully become a true vegan.
princess tofu likes this.
Peter Gittens is offline  
#8 Old 02-01-2014, 09:17 PM
Veggie Regular
 
ellephants3's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: BC Canada
Posts: 204

Interesting question.. I guess i havent put any thought to this. As i have been with my omni boyfriend for 2 1/2 years. And i only made the switch to vegetarian a month ago. And have now decided to go all in and be vegan. it has been surprisingly easy.. I do not buy any meat products. Nor will i cook any meat. If he wants to add meat to his meal he must buy it and cook it himself. which has happened once in the past month. so he has basically been eating vegetarian with me. I dont know how going vegan with effect things. I did buy dairy products. Have not bought any since i decided to go vegan. Just weeding out the last of the products that contain dairy before ive 100% made the switch. I dont know if i will still buy my boyfriend milk and such. I hadnt though about that yet. Hmmm. I think it really depends case by case. If you are a vegan that cant even watch someone eat a burger without feeling sick. then omni vegan relationship would be impossible almost. if your a vegan that can watch someone eat meat and only have a "dislike" attitude to watching it then it could work. I think it also comes down to the respect factor, how much they actually care about you. Is the omni person willing to compromise, like eat meat at meals you dont share together, like work, or school. Or only eat meat when eating out. Diet and life style play a big roll in a relationship. But i dont think someone should have to loose out on love over this. I know 2 vegetarians and have never met a guy vegetarian or vegan. So unless you are activley searching for one, or are able to convert them. I think it would be hard to find someone. Although maybe different parts of the world have lower meat eater %'s.  

Sorry this turned into a ramble...

ellephants3 is offline  
#9 Old 02-02-2014, 02:41 PM
 
kiki23's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 21

I've been thinking about this lately as well. I recently became vegetarian and am thinking about going vegan. As a college student, I am used to living with omnis, but most of them have meal plans, so I don't have to deal with much meat in my apartment. However, I sometimes worry about the future, if I would be able to be with someone who regularly cooks meat in the same kitchen and with the same cookware that I use so often. It kind of grosses me out a bit... And since my reason for going veg has to do with more than just health (animal cruelty, sustainability, etc.), I worry about finding someone who shares the same beliefs. 

 

I feel like CoeyCoey up there haha (I am also an atheist). 

kiki23 is offline  
#10 Old 02-03-2014, 01:40 PM
 
Dustin Kippers's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by CoeyCoey View Post
 

Try being a vegan, anarchist, atheist, anti-natalist, misanthrope.   Even most vegans will hate ya.  Well, in the US anyway.  

 

I'll call your anarchist, atheist, anti-natalist, misanthrope and raise you Social Anxiety Disorder, introversion, and a general dislike for most people.

Dustin Kippers is offline  
#11 Old 02-03-2014, 02:12 PM
 
kiki23's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 21

Wish there were more people like you guys out there!  :up:   

Peter Gittens likes this.
kiki23 is offline  
#12 Old 02-03-2014, 02:18 PM
 
Dustin Kippers's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 26

If people like me were common I'm pretty sure the human race would have gone extinct a while ago.

Dustin Kippers is offline  
#13 Old 02-03-2014, 02:33 PM
 
kiki23's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 21

Wouldn't be the worst thing

kiki23 is offline  
#14 Old 02-03-2014, 02:36 PM
 
Dustin Kippers's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by kiki23 View Post
 

Wouldn't be the worst thing

I argue with and support that statement on alternate days.

Dustin Kippers is offline  
#15 Old 02-03-2014, 02:48 PM
 
pandiculationco's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 998
Quote:
Originally Posted by Peter Gittens View Post
 

I mean we can't discriminate, but if two people have very different opinions on stuff, then the relationship may turn sour. Recently I haven't found many people who were already veg and wanted to date. I'm a very busy student, so maybe I don't even have time to hang out or date people, but I want your opinions.

 

I am also a little shy, so I'm already at a disadvantage. I try not to overwhelm people with the lifestyle choices that I make. I let my cooking do the talking.

 

Of course we can, and should, discriminate- just not about things people have no control over.  If somebody is white or black or whatever- of course we should not discriminate based on that (it's not only stupid, but it's wrong).  

 

But if somebody makes a choice, it's social responsibility to discriminate against people who make bad choices in favor of those who make good choices.

 

Choosing to eat meat is a bad choice.  Of course, we should try to explain it to them first to make sure they're making an informed choice- but if somebody continues to make that bad choice, of course we should discriminate (at least a bit).  And not just for pragmatic reasons.

 

Some degree of shunning is how social morality progresses.

 

If you aren't veg for moral reasons, none of that will really make any sense- but it's hard to understand how anybody who does consider it a moral issue would have a problem with discriminating on the matter.

 

Would you date an unrepentant drug addict?

Somebody who feels entitled to shoplift as a right?

Somebody who makes a living with identity theft/credit fraud?

 

It's not just that it's inconvenient, or might cause problems later, it raises serious issues as to the person's moral character.  It's behavior that society should discriminate against, at least a little bit.

 

 

If you meet somebody who is a good person at heart, it isn't very difficult to turn them veg.  Look for good, kind people; then hang out with them and talk about it.  It IS time consuming, but it's time well spent.

Peter Gittens likes this.
pandiculationco is offline  
#16 Old 02-03-2014, 04:02 PM
Veggie Regular
 
lavender phase's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 2,644
Just coming out of a relationship I am a bit hessitant to start dating again .... I never dated an omni nor would I .... I like being single and able to meet many different people that's all well and good however ,for a much more serious relationship in the future I would say a vegan boyfriend definitely smiley.gif
lavender phase is offline  
#17 Old 02-03-2014, 07:23 PM
 
Peter Gittens's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 39
Quote:
Originally Posted by lavender phase View Post

Just coming out of a relationship I am a bit hessitant to start dating again .... I never dated an omni nor would I .... I like being single and able to meet many different people that's all well and good however ,for a much more serious relationship in the future I would say a vegan boyfriend definitely smiley.gif

Interesting that you said that. I have been living the single life forever. I never had a girlfriend in high school and I have never been too comfortable starting a relationship with a girl until now. I'm in college and want to start branching out or maybe find somebody. I know a woman who recently converted her husband, (I feel like being a vegan is a religion now lol), but anyway the husband converted to vegetarianism because his wife did. This took several years apparently for him to decide to stop buying meat. So when we look for that special somebody, if they are not vegan, they could be positively influenced by us because maybe they'll see how good our blood pressure is or observe how fit and thin most of us are and want to change their diet. Now that I think about it, dating an omni person isn't too bad. You may get them to come on team veg. I feel that it is our responsibility to try to advocate this diet. Just a thought. 

Peter Gittens is offline  
#18 Old 02-03-2014, 07:29 PM
 
Peter Gittens's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 39
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ellephants3 View Post
 

Interesting question.. I guess i havent put any thought to this. As i have been with my omni boyfriend for 2 1/2 years. And i only made the switch to vegetarian a month ago. And have now decided to go all in and be vegan. it has been surprisingly easy.. I do not buy any meat products. Nor will i cook any meat. If he wants to add meat to his meal he must buy it and cook it himself. which has happened once in the past month. so he has basically been eating vegetarian with me. I dont know how going vegan with effect things. I did buy dairy products. Have not bought any since i decided to go vegan. Just weeding out the last of the products that contain dairy before ive 100% made the switch. I dont know if i will still buy my boyfriend milk and such. I hadnt though about that yet. Hmmm. I think it really depends case by case. If you are a vegan that cant even watch someone eat a burger without feeling sick. then omni vegan relationship would be impossible almost. if your a vegan that can watch someone eat meat and only have a "dislike" attitude to watching it then it could work. I think it also comes down to the respect factor, how much they actually care about you. Is the omni person willing to compromise, like eat meat at meals you dont share together, like work, or school. Or only eat meat when eating out. Diet and life style play a big roll in a relationship. But i dont think someone should have to loose out on love over this. I know 2 vegetarians and have never met a guy vegetarian or vegan. So unless you are activley searching for one, or are able to convert them. I think it would be hard to find someone. Although maybe different parts of the world have lower meat eater %'s.  

Sorry this turned into a ramble...

No I didn't think it was a ramble, it was very interesting. 

Peter Gittens is offline  
#19 Old 02-03-2014, 07:33 PM
 
Peter Gittens's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 39
Quote:
Originally Posted by pandiculationco View Post
 

 

Of course we can, and should, discriminate- just not about things people have no control over.  If somebody is white or black or whatever- of course we should not discriminate based on that (it's not only stupid, but it's wrong).  

 

But if somebody makes a choice, it's social responsibility to discriminate against people who make bad choices in favor of those who make good choices.

 

Choosing to eat meat is a bad choice.  Of course, we should try to explain it to them first to make sure they're making an informed choice- but if somebody continues to make that bad choice, of course we should discriminate (at least a bit).  And not just for pragmatic reasons.

 

Some degree of shunning is how social morality progresses.

 

If you aren't veg for moral reasons, none of that will really make any sense- but it's hard to understand how anybody who does consider it a moral issue would have a problem with discriminating on the matter.

 

Would you date an unrepentant drug addict?

Somebody who feels entitled to shoplift as a right?

Somebody who makes a living with identity theft/credit fraud?

 

It's not just that it's inconvenient, or might cause problems later, it raises serious issues as to the person's moral character.  It's behavior that society should discriminate against, at least a little bit.

 

 

If you meet somebody who is a good person at heart, it isn't very difficult to turn them veg.  Look for good, kind people; then hang out with them and talk about it.  It IS time consuming, but it's time well spent.

Yep. I agree with you. Sounds like words of wisdom once I thought about it.

Peter Gittens is offline  
#20 Old 02-03-2014, 07:39 PM
 
Peter Gittens's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 39
Quote:
Originally Posted by kiki23 View Post
 

I've been thinking about this lately as well. I recently became vegetarian and am thinking about going vegan. As a college student, I am used to living with omnis, but most of them have meal plans, so I don't have to deal with much meat in my apartment. However, I sometimes worry about the future, if I would be able to be with someone who regularly cooks meat in the same kitchen and with the same cookware that I use so often. It kind of grosses me out a bit... And since my reason for going veg has to do with more than just health (animal cruelty, sustainability, etc.), I worry about finding someone who shares the same beliefs. 

 

I feel like CoeyCoey up there haha (I am also an atheist). 

Being a vegetarian especially a vegan, sends a strong message to people in our society. Being a college student and a guy, I have been laughed at and looked at strange because of my diet choices. And I'm black. I'm an outlier. I was microwaving my food today and someone asked me, "What you heatin?" And I proudly replied, "vegan chili..." They were shocked and didn't even continue the conversation. Maybe one day I can find a veg girl that has similar views as me. 

Peter Gittens is offline  
#21 Old 02-03-2014, 07:45 PM
Veggie Regular
 
lavender phase's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 2,644
Wow I like that idea Team Veg! I will be attending college in the fall in New York and I have some omni friends that live there and one guy in particular is an omni total sweetheart <3 he is into being fit & healthy he is on a hockey minor league team he basically would agree a plant based diet is healthy perhaps he can be converted smiley.gif lol
lavender phase is offline  
#22 Old 02-07-2014, 08:56 PM
Newbie
 
Doodlebug's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 47

It's not a consideration for me.  What's important to me is his view of/relationship with God.  Everything else is negotiable. I'm vegetarian for my own reasons, and I can't bibilically call anyone else to do so.  They have to figure that out for themselves, but I don't see their way of eating as sin.  In love I have to be at peace with them, as far as it depends on me.   As far as meat, I'd be ok being married to an omnivore.  I'd ask if he'd mind cooking his own, but if he needed me to do it, I would, in a separate pan.  Again, peace over debatable issues.  (I know for many of you it's not a debatable issue, but for me, in my belief system, it is).  I care for animals, but people are always more important to me.

Doodlebug is offline  
#23 Old 02-07-2014, 09:24 PM
 
pandiculationco's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 998
Quote:
Originally Posted by Doodlebug View Post
 

It's not a consideration for me.  What's important to me is his view of/relationship with God.  Everything else is negotiable. I'm vegetarian for my own reasons, and I can't bibilically call anyone else to do so.  They have to figure that out for themselves, but I don't see their way of eating as sin.  In love I have to be at peace with them, as far as it depends on me.   As far as meat, I'd be ok being married to an omnivore.  I'd ask if he'd mind cooking his own, but if he needed me to do it, I would, in a separate pan.  Again, peace over debatable issues.  (I know for many of you it's not a debatable issue, but for me, in my belief system, it is).  I care for animals, but people are always more important to me.

 

Humans are more important for almost all of us- it is a rare veg*n who does not value human live above all else.  But we also have love for animals.

 

Compassion for animals heightens the compassionate spirit in the person- so it's good for the soul, you could say.  Even if we weren't concerned for the animals themselves, we should encourage a compassionate spirit.

But beyond that, if what it does to the environment isn't enough to prove its harm to our fellow man, consider the harm to one's own body.

 

And Biblically speaking, did Jesus not say 'I will have Mercy, and not Sacrifice'?

 

And the same, while the Bible is supportive of humans eating meat for purposes of survival, gluttony (when it's not necessary for survival, but just to satisfy greed) is a sin.  And in most of the first world, meat consumption is nothing more than gluttony, which is harmful to the self and others (not so in poor countries, and in ancient times, but it's the state of the matter today).

 

And while the Bible may not be as clear as some would like about creating heaven on Earth by our own works (working towards returning to a state of perfection, as in the garden before the fall), how could anybody who truly loves God do anything but work towards re-establishing his kingdom on Earth with their very actions?

Abstention from the violence of meat, therein, being the greatest change towards that end which is within our power to choose (e.g. we can't control what other people do, but if we love God, we can choose not to contribute to it ourselves).

 

So, if it's important that your partner really love God, if they understood vegetarianism, can you see how they could choose anything else?

 

Just something to think about :)

pandiculationco is offline  
#24 Old 02-07-2014, 09:34 PM
 
yingchen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Singapore
Posts: 645

Here's an interesting question: Do you think vegan women are more likely to date omni men, or vegan men more likely to date omni women, vegan women more likely convert omni men, or vegan men more likely to convert omni women, or does gender not matter? Anyone is also free to bring up LGBT if they wish.

Peter Gittens likes this.

Check out my blog,
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
, a reflection of anime, veganism and animal rights!
Latest post: Serial Experiments Lain and the Upper Layer of Reality
yingchen is offline  
#25 Old 02-07-2014, 09:48 PM
 
pandiculationco's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 998
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yingchen View Post
 

Here's an interesting question: Do you think vegan women are more likely to date omni men, or vegan men more likely to date omni women, vegan women more likely convert omni men, or vegan men more likely to convert omni women, or does gender not matter? Anyone is also free to bring up LGBT if they wish.

 

Due probably to social conventions of male relationship dominance, women are more likely to convert to the beliefs and attitudes of the men (that is generally [politics, ethics, religion, etc.] so in this case, vegan women with omni men becoming omnivores, and omni girls with vegan men going vegan).  

 

Of course, plenty of women buck that convention and take the lead role and convert their omni boyfriends instead of giving up on veganism and becoming omnis again- those stories make me happy :)

 

Hopefully all people, regardless of social conventions, can start to hold onto their ethics better and make their partners better people, instead of abandoning them and becoming worse people to meet their partners where they are... but that might be an unrealistic dream :(

pandiculationco is offline  
#26 Old 02-07-2014, 09:52 PM
 
Peter Gittens's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 39
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yingchen View Post
 

Here's an interesting question: Do you think vegan women are more likely to date omni men, or vegan men more likely to date omni women, vegan women more likely convert omni men, or vegan men more likely to convert omni women, or does gender not matter? Anyone is also free to bring up LGBT if they wish.

I was going to go to bed, but I just saw the question you posted and had to reply. Mind=blown. Well in my opinion similar to what @Doodlebug said, love really isn't dependent on your significant other's diet choices. So I don't think gender matters when vegans date omni whether male or female. Now, if your somebody who is really really passionate about animal rights etc. then you would probably go out and find someone else vegan. I can see vegan ladies out there being more selective towards already vegan men. Maybe its because I'm a man, but I feel like a lot vegan men don't really care that much about their partners' diet before dating them. For me, I choose to eat a mostly plant based diet for my reasons and won't judge a girl for not following my lifestyle, that would be narcissistic. There are so many other really good qualities in a woman that I look for. Of course I would prefer them to be a vegetarian beforehand, but thats  just my preference talking ;). However, I have seen a couple of relationships where the wife converted their husband to vegetarianism, but that took years. The LGBT community is a whole other ball game, I won't get into that. 

Peter Gittens is offline  
#27 Old 02-08-2014, 12:51 AM
Newbie
 
Doodlebug's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 47

pandiculationco, yes, I could see someone following the Bible and not choosing vegetarianism.  I state again that it's not a blood issue (a tenet of the faith), but rather a disputable matter.  Vegetarianism is good, but not a requirement for salvation.  The christians in the first century had a similar dispute about meat in the marketplace, and had to come to a peaceable unity, making sure not to make each other stumble.  My choice does not cause my friends to stumble, and their meat-eating doesn't cause me to stumble.  We are unified in God's purpose for us.  Food choices don't overshadow that.  What Jesus actually said was, “Listen,” he said, “and try to understand.  It’s not what goes into your mouth that defiles you; you are defiled by the words that come out of your mouth.”  This is in Matthew 15, verse 10.  You and I have a conviction to eat as we do, but cannot bibilically call others to do so.  That's ok.  We have freedom in Christ.

 

.

Peter Gittens likes this.
Doodlebug is offline  
#28 Old 02-08-2014, 04:00 AM
 
pandiculationco's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 998
Quote:
Originally Posted by Doodlebug View Post
 

pandiculationco, yes, I could see someone following the Bible and not choosing vegetarianism.

 

 

People can interpret the Bible with any personal biases they want.  If you want to follow it with the understanding that Jesus was good, then you must leave aside human biases towards gluttony that make us want to read into it more allowance than it strictly gives.

 

You even have those like Rasputin, who interpret the Bible to mean you should sin it up in this life, so that you will be full of sin when you are forgiven, otherwise grace and forgiveness, or the death of Christ as it were interpreted by many, was in vain.

 

People can interpret the bible to endorse and condone any wicked thing as a tenet of their faith: that doesn't make it true.

 

But, if you want:

 

Quote:

Matthew 15:10-20

New International Version (NIV)

10 Jesus called the crowd to him and said, “Listen and understand. 11 What goes into someone’s mouth does not defile them, but what comes out of their mouth, that is what defiles them.”

12 Then the disciples came to him and asked, “Do you know that the Pharisees were offended when they heard this?”

13 He replied, “Every plant that my heavenly Father has not planted will be pulled up by the roots. 14 Leave them; they are blind guides.[a] If the blind lead the blind, both will fall into a pit.”

15 Peter said, “Explain the parable to us.”

16 “Are you still so dull?” Jesus asked them. 17 “Don’t you see that whatever enters the mouth goes into the stomach and then out of the body? 18 But the things that come out of a person’s mouth come from the heart, and these defile them. 19 For out of the heart come evil thoughtsmurder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander. 20 These are what defile a person; but eating with unwashed hands does not defile them.”

 

 

He was talking about eating with dirty hands when hungry, eating with unwashed hands being forbidden in Jewish law.

 

Otherwise, should we interpret this to mean that cannibalism is OK too?  Because whatever you put in your mouth is A-OK?  No, of course not.  That would be insane.  Because that's not what he was saying.

 

In this case, what's coming OUT of the omnivores mouths is "one hamburger please".  It is not the eating, of course- that's an afterthought that follows from the original intention- but the act of bringing wicked feelings of gluttony into the world which inspire murder (death without good reason).

 

If the person was acting out of true need and hunger without a choice, it would not be so.  It is those wicked feelings of indifference to the life of another living being that defile those who feel them.

 

 

Quote:
I state again that it's not a blood issue (a tenet of the faith), but rather a disputable matter.

 

Everything is disputable to those who choose to interpret the Bible differently.

 

We can either assume our own personal motives and hedonistic biases when interpreting the bible (like, wanting to eat meat).

Or we can assume that what Jesus taught was good- and nothing less, and not permissive of such things that are by nature evil (which would have made him a hypocrite).

 

Hey, of course we weren't there.  Maybe he was a hypocrite.  But he spoke strongly against hypocrisy, and I think we can afford to give him the benefit of the doubt, and assume his teachings were morally good and consistent- interpreting in that spirit, rather than through the lens of hedonistic human biases.

 

Quote:
Vegetarianism is good, but not a requirement for salvation.  The christians in the first century had a similar dispute about meat in the marketplace, and had to come to a peaceable unity, making sure not to make each other stumble.

 

A lot has changed in society and human technology since the first century.

 

Do you think slavery is still OK?  I hope not.  Because society has changed.  At that time Jesus counseled slaves to be obedient- hopefully he didn't want that to go on forever too.

 

We should assume, that if Jesus was good, that he did not want that to continue, but understood it was the state of the world at the time.  The same with people eating meat.

 

What once was barely acceptable because people didn't have the nutritional knowledge we have today, and didn't have modern agriculture, and the environment wasn't being destroyed as it is today- is no longer even remotely acceptable today.

 

We do not live in the first century anymore.  Those who live in third world countries in poverty do still live in those conditions- and for them it is a necessity.  But we are not in a position to make a much easier choice of the matter.

 

Any true follower of Jesus, who is informed of the relevant facts today (some people are ignorant arguably by no fault of their own), is going to choose vegetarianism.

 

 

Quote:
My choice does not cause my friends to stumble, and their meat-eating doesn't cause me to stumble.  We are unified in God's purpose for us.  Food choices don't overshadow that.

 

Sorry, but it's not food choices.  Food choices are matters like meeganism (eating meat which would otherwise go to waste), not outright carnism- which is much much more than a food choice.

 

This is a choice of putting our selfish intent into the world, allowing those urges to spoil us, to bring satisfaction of personal gluttony.  This is about something coming out of us, not just going in.

 

It may not cause you to stumble, but your friends have already stumbled and fallen- yet they do not see it.  It is up to you to see it and help them.  It is the responsibility of any true follower of Jesus to show them the truth of the matter- so they can see what they have done by error and fix it.

 

You're right, we all have a choice- and that choice includes abandoning the right path in pursuit of our own worldly pleasures.  And part of that abandonment is interpreting scripture in terms of man's hedonistic desires, instead of in terms of what is good and right.  Most Christians in this world are those of name only, being in all practical sense nihilists by way of their actions.

 

Quote:

James 1:22-27

King James Version (KJV)

22 But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves.

23 For if any be a hearer of the word, and not a doer, he is like unto a man beholding his natural face in a glass:

24 For he beholdeth himself, and goeth his way, and straightway forgetteth what manner of man he was.

25 But whoso looketh into the perfect law of liberty, and continueth therein, he being not a forgetful hearer, but a doer of the work, this man shall be blessed in his deed.

26 If any man among you seem to be religious, and bridleth not his tongue, but deceiveth his own heart, this man's religion is vain.

27 Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world.

 

 

But I would go beyond that, still, and say these actions do cause others to stumble.  

 

Because by choosing the path of vain religion and a life of incompassionate hedonism, those Christians make Christianity look bad (and it should look bad to any outsider when represented like that), causing those who might be potential converts to stumble and abandon Christianity as hypocritical and vain.

 

Anyway, it's something to think about.  I hope you'll consider it.

 

I think that difference (vain vs meaningful religious devotion) should be far above the superficial appearance of being religious for any prospective relationship, if that's what you're looking for.  And a prime part of that is necessarily openness to positive life choices, like vegetarianism.

 

I fear we risk veering off topic a bit, though.  If you'd like to discuss this more, we could make a new thread, or maybe do so by private message? 

beanspud and Naturebound like this.
pandiculationco is offline  
#29 Old 02-09-2014, 02:13 AM
Newbie
 
Doodlebug's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 47

Yeah, we have gotten off topic, I think.  I think we can peacefully agree to disagree on the subject we've gone off to.  Sorry to anyone who is bothered by the scriptural tangent here; I know the topic was supposed to be dating, and I know not everyone here suscribes to the bible.  Anyway, yeah, in answer to the original question, omnivore/not omnivore has never had any bearing on whom I choose to date.  I guess that's it on the subject at hand.  Peace, y'all.

Doodlebug is offline  
#30 Old 02-09-2014, 05:22 AM
Veggie Regular
 
Naturebound's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 4,608
Quote:
Originally Posted by Peter Gittens View Post
 

Hi,

 

Its been a crazy journey since I decided to become vegetarian. I now am transitioning to being a vegan since researching what really happens in the dairy industry (Read Whitewash the book if you have a chance).

 

But most recently I found it difficult to be a vegan when everybody around me is not. It is hard to do something radically different than your family. There will be lots of trials and tribulations. The reason why I am posting here is because I want to get your opinion on dating and meeting new people. Assuming most of you are vegans or vegetarians, do you prefer to meet somebody vegetarian or to meet and date somebody regardless of their diet and lifestyle? I mean we can't discriminate, but if two people have very different opinions on stuff, then the relationship may turn sour. Recently I haven't found many people who were already veg and wanted to date. I'm a very busy student, so maybe I don't even have time to hang out or date people, but I want your opinions.

 

I am also a little shy, so I'm already at a disadvantage. I try not to overwhelm people with the lifestyle choices that I make. I let my cooking do the talking.

I met my current "husband" we are not officially married but have been together for so many years I just call him that) in 1998 when I was an omni.  I moved in with him in 2005.  I became vegan in 2011 and he remains omni.  I am a passionate ethical and activist vegan and also love to cook and prepare healthy whole vegan food.  My husband comes from a background of dairy farming and hunting.  He eats the SAD, lots of junk, could care less about health, and still thinks farm animals were meant to be bred and eaten, though he is passionate about stopping the legalized wolf hunt here in Minnesota and is all for the environment etc.  Just last night we watched the documentary "Peaceable Kingdom: The Journey Home" together, and we had a discussion about it and we still don't see completely eye to eye.  Yes, it is very frustrating.  And hard to live with an omnivore.  We have to have separate cupboards and areas for food, separate cookware etc.  We had fights when I started refusing to go to county Fairs or the zoo and stopped buying pet birds.  What we do together has totally changed.  It took him a year to warm up to my vegan meals  since I refused to make his omni food anymore (and I am the breadwinner, grocery shopper, and cook).  Now he loves my vegan food, and has slowly come to understand how healthy and sustainable eating as a vegan is.  It helped when he learned that a favorite athlete of his is vegan.  so at least as far as health and excellent food, he is all for it.  though he can't give up his dairy, at least he cut way down on meat and refuses to eat fast food anymore.  But our philosophies on animals and other stuff is profoundly different.  I can not commit to marrying him at this point.  I do feel I have grown away from him in many ways.  But we try to hold on to what brought us together in the first place.  He has qualities I adore.  He is humble and sweet and loves me.  He does have a good heart. He has talents and is old fashioned in some ways which I like. We share our love of wilderness and adventures with mountain biking, hiking, canoe camping.  We try to find common ground and work with that.  It is work.  Any relationship is work to keep it lasting.  I have personal issues as far as intimacy and I am also asexual, and he has a physical disability so there are some things we don't do.  I know other vegans on other boards have wondered how vegans can kiss an omnivore and wouldn't that be gross eww and so on, but that's a non issue for me.  If I were to find myself alone again, more than likely I would not date another omnivore, but I can't say that for sure.  It's a gray area.  It would be hard to date an omni if they weren't willing to be open minded and learn about my beliefs and why being vegan is important to me and at least attempt to move in that direction.  Sometimes I long for a household totally free of animal derived products where I don't have to fight to be understood and be sickened each time he comes home with a carton of eggs or a shrink wrapped steak or a carton of milk with another fake picture of a happy cow.  On the other hand, I have met vegans who are total jerks too.  Also, people change over time.  No one is static.  Lots of people end up in relationships where one person changes their lifestyle.  Who is to say I might not meet a vegan and marry him and two years later he (or she) goes back to being omni?  I do think though that in general it would just be easier for me to live with another vegan due to my lifestyle.  I have also fallen away from Christianity since becoming vegan and my husband is strongly Christian and that has been hard to reconcile too.  My own mother is a Benedictine Sister in the Catholic church.  I have to tread carefully with them because of their strong beliefs.  I AM one who has been totally turned off of Christianity by all the ways people in the church (and in my husband's family) have used the bible to justify their violence and indifference towards animals and slight my activism.  But I was never a 100% committed believer to begin with.  So I can't blame the actions of others for why I lack faith.  It has been a lifetime struggle for me.  It just makes it harder to even want to continue to explore Christianity and the doubts I have about God.  I can't even talk about this with my Mom or husband as I feel they would judge and condemn me on some level.  I try to also remember this when I advocate for animals, that the way I do it doesn't turn someone else off from even wanting to explore that avenue due to me having a preachy, judgmental, or superior attitude.  It's hard to be patient though, and hard not to let emotions get in the way, especially when I have personally witnessed some horrific sights such as a chicken warehouse where the cooling system wasn't working and they had the side door of a windowless warehouse open and chickens were piled against the cage wires going across the door as high as you could see, crawling over each other to get air.  This was a company labeled on packaging as "humanely raised" chickens.  And my husband still buys into a lot of that advertising, even though he personally witnessed and was disgusted by the warehouse incident.  So maybe beyond whether a person is vegan or omni, I would consider cultural conditioning and open mindedness to change based on the ability to challenge ones own upbringing and cultural conditioning.  If  a person possesses that quality, and we had other things in common and attractions to one another, who knows?

Peter Gittens likes this.

In the end, only kindness matters. - Jewel



To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Naturebound is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the VeggieBoards forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in


Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off