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#1 Old 11-22-2012, 12:45 PM
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I figured this could use a support thread too! :)

 

Omni SOs can be both sources of frustrations and gigantic blessings. Share your rougher patches and share your support stories.

 

My bf has done 2 vegan-trial periods, one of 1 week, another of 1 month. It's so amazing to live in the apartment during those times! Nothing in the house is disgusting, nothing to make me want to snap and violently throw out. Doing groceries is a breeze.

 

But then reality comes crashing back and doing groceries and not snapping at him ("but WHY!!??") becomes more difficult.

 

I know I should count my blessings that he's so nearly vegan already (hotdogs, KD, cheese slices and frozen pizzas are about the only animal products he has when at home), but he wants to go vegan primarily for health reasons. He totally does not get the whole ethical/AR reasons behind it, even though he says he does. If he did...he would already be vegan!! But he's not! So he clearly doesn't get the WHOLE gist of it!

 

It's difficult to not be able to share with him what is probably the single most important value of mine with him :( (or anyone, at that!)

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#2 Old 11-22-2012, 04:56 PM
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It may not be wise to take my advice, but if I were you, this is what I would do-

 

I'd sit him down and explain that veganism is a very important aspect of who you are, it's how you make your decisions from what you where to what goes into your body. Due to that, you want him to understand why you're a vegan and ask if it would be okay if you could show him some of the images that made you change your mind.

 

(I say images because that seems to be what makes most people change their view when it comes to this topic. Not usually a written report, but an actual visual event. I assume the same was true for you.)

Is animal welfare a topic of discussion in your household? If it's not, maybe it should be.

 

He may never see eye to eye with you on animal rights, but if he can see which platform you take and why you take it, then it might broaden his horizons too.

 

It could also be that he's just as concerned as you, but doesn't think it's very masculine to be worried about animals. If you haven't already, let him know that kind of trait is something you find very appealing. :p

 

Finally, it could just a bit of trouble transitioning.

 

As an omni partner I went vegetarian. The transition was smooth, easy and I planned it out beforehand. Mentally, I was prepared.

 

Veganism might be a big hurdle for him to jump at the moment. So, maybe it's an idea to ask him to cut all meat and THEN work on the dairy and egg?

Just suggestions.  I hope some of it is of use!

 

Good luck.

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#3 Old 11-22-2012, 10:20 PM
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Originally Posted by azerea_02 View Post

 

I know I should count my blessings that he's so nearly vegan already (hotdogs, KD, cheese slices and frozen pizzas are about the only animal products he has when at home), but he wants to go vegan primarily for health reasons. He totally does not get the whole ethical/AR reasons behind it, even though he says he does. If he did...he would already be vegan!! But he's not! So he clearly doesn't get the WHOLE gist of it!

 

It's difficult to not be able to share with him what is probably the single most important value of mine with him :( (or anyone, at that!)

*sigh* These two things I understand completely. My SO doesn't seem to have ANY interest in going vegan though :( He's happy enough to eat my vegan cooking but I feel like this will be an issue over time. I went over to his place and there was hotdogs and sandwich meat in the fridge. My heart just sunk. Veganism gets more and more important to me; it's hard not to *preach* to him too.

 

I've no advice to give. Only empathy.



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#4 Old 11-23-2012, 04:42 AM
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No forcing,

 

just talking calmly, showing documentaries, taking him to an animal sanctuary where they will probably have some saved animals, making him realize the connection between thoses he can see with his own eyes and the ones in the industry...

 

Having a veggie pet perhaps, or even a non veggie one, will at least make him understand that animals are not so stupid and do have feelings.

 

Gary Yourofsky speach has apparently made a lot of people go vegan ( youtube )



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#5 Old 11-23-2012, 10:41 AM
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Originally Posted by Tiger Lilly View Post

It may not be wise to take my advice, but if I were you, this is what I would do-

 

I'd sit him down and explain that veganism is a very important aspect of who you are, it's how you make your decisions from what you where to what goes into your body. Due to that, you want him to understand why you're a vegan and ask if it would be okay if you could show him some of the images that made you change your mind.

 

(I say images because that seems to be what makes most people change their view when it comes to this topic. Not usually a written report, but an actual visual event. I assume the same was true for you.)

Is animal welfare a topic of discussion in your household? If it's not, maybe it should be.

 

He may never see eye to eye with you on animal rights, but if he can see which platform you take and why you take it, then it might broaden his horizons too.

 

It could also be that he's just as concerned as you, but doesn't think it's very masculine to be worried about animals. If you haven't already, let him know that kind of trait is something you find very appealing. :p

 

Finally, it could just a bit of trouble transitioning.

 

As an omni partner I went vegetarian. The transition was smooth, easy and I planned it out beforehand. Mentally, I was prepared.

 

Veganism might be a big hurdle for him to jump at the moment. So, maybe it's an idea to ask him to cut all meat and THEN work on the dairy and egg?

Just suggestions.  I hope some of it is of use!

 

Good luck.

 

He definitely knows that at one point I will ask for him to sit down with me and watch Earthlings. I haven't done so yet because I'm so afraid of coming on too strongly and having the reverse effect from what I want. But it'll come! He's already watched Gary Yourofsky's presentation as well as Forks over knives, which have sparked his interest in the health aspect of veganism, which, I find, is the easiest issue (between health, environment, and animals) to face. The animal side of things is the hardest one to take in (for me anyway), which is why I'm still hesitant to share with him while he's still not ready to fully commit to veganism.

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by vMaryv View Post

*sigh* These two things I understand completely. My SO doesn't seem to have ANY interest in going vegan though :( He's happy enough to eat my vegan cooking but I feel like this will be an issue over time. I went over to his place and there was hotdogs and sandwich meat in the fridge. My heart just sunk. Veganism gets more and more important to me; it's hard not to *preach* to him too.

 

I've no advice to give. Only empathy.

 

I'm sorry to hear he's not really interested... Atleast he's open-minded enough to eat vegan food. I know exactly what you mean by it becoming more and more important though. I'm the same way. When we started dating I thought I'd be fine if he still ate omni so long as he was ok with future children being brought up vegan. But more and more, everytime we go grocery shopping or order pizza, or going to his parents' house for dinner, it gets harder to bear. And it's taken on a new level too, beyond that of the animals and the environment. But his health. I love the guy and I hate to see him damaging his health.

 

I'm sorry, now it's my turn to say I don't have much advice to give, but plenty of empathy :(

 

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Originally Posted by vegan cyberpunk View Post

No forcing,

 

just talking calmly, showing documentaries, taking him to an animal sanctuary where they will probably have some saved animals, making him realize the connection between thoses he can see with his own eyes and the ones in the industry...

 

Having a veggie pet perhaps, or even a non veggie one, will at least make him understand that animals are not so stupid and do have feelings.

 

Gary Yourofsky speach has apparently made a lot of people go vegan ( youtube )

 

An animal sancturay is a great idea. I've told him that going to Farm Sancturay is on my bucket list, and that I want to go as soon as we can afford it. He has requested, however, that we wait until he is vegan before we go. I think it's because he knows he'd make the connection and feel guilty and he doesn't want to go through that guilt.

 

Oh he's fully aware of how special animals can be. He's had Morgan, a yellow lab, and Lucy, a calico, in his past, both whoom he loved very dearly. He often refers to them even after many years since they passed.

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#6 Old 11-24-2012, 11:12 AM
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I'm sorry to hear he's not really interested... Atleast he's open-minded enough to eat vegan food. I know exactly what you mean by it becoming more and more important though. I'm the same way. When we started dating I thought I'd be fine if he still ate omni so long as he was ok with future children being brought up vegan. But more and more, everytime we go grocery shopping or order pizza, or going to his parents' house for dinner, it gets harder to bear. And it's taken on a new level too, beyond that of the animals and the environment. But his health. I love the guy and I hate to see him damaging his health.

 

I'm sorry, now it's my turn to say I don't have much advice to give, but plenty of empathy :(

 

Thanks, azerea. 

 

I like the Farm Sanctuary idea.



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#7 Old 12-02-2012, 10:16 AM
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Empathy.  Use it when dealing with omni SO's and anyone else in your life.  Most vegans were meat eaters at some point in our lives, go back to that time and remember what it's like when relating with others, try to put yourself in their shoes to help you understand their reasons for choosing to eat meat. 

 

I have been with my SO for about 12 years, he is currently not vegetarian.  At the beginning of our relationship I was transitioning from eating fish and dairy (took a year or 2) and dealing with my personal eating habits etc, eventually I became vegan and stuck with it.  When we started living together I also began to learn how to cook in my own way vs the ways I was taught by my mom and food network, this was a challenge as he was used to food with animal products so I ended up cooking 2 meals often.  It was probably a good 5-6 years before he actually started to eat the vegan food I made as part of his regular dinner.  During those years I taught him how to cook meat and cheesy items he likes to eat, this offered me some relief and opened his eyes to how much extra work and $ I was putting towards preparing his omni meals.  This was nice and worked out fine for a while, I would make a vegan meal and he would top it off with some sort of animal or animal product for himself.  Then we got hit hard financially, lost some jobs, had to move and budget to extremes, he realized how much money we were spending on his animal products (especially when choosing the more "humane" options the price gets higher...) and how unnecessary they were to him bc there is always a vegan option when I am cooking.  So being poor made him finally give up buying meat and eat vegan foods regularly.  He started feeling the benefits and now has no problem eating vegan food at home. 

 

He still eats meat, he tried giving it up for about a year but that recently subsided. When he does eat meat he usually gets pretty sick after and regrets it.  After our omni family Thanksgiving recently he barfed up the whole dinner shortly after.... He does buy dairy and eggs sometimes, but no meat especially bc he knows he has to prepare and cook it for himself.

 

I never asked him to be vegetarian or vegan, I never confronted him about it, and I don't try to make him feel bad for eating meat.  Love is acceptance.  It's his choice to watch animal rights videos and vegan documentaries with me, sometimes he watches sometimes he doesn't.  

 

The best way I have learned to deal with living with meat eaters is to cook amazing vegan food and share it with them.  

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#8 Old 12-02-2012, 05:25 PM
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Thanks, azerea. 

 

I like the Farm Sanctuary idea.


I love the idea too.. good tips.

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#9 Old 12-03-2012, 01:37 PM
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my SO normally doesnt say anything about my food choices and he even will make me special food and stuff when he cooks (we normally just eat seperate meals but on occcasion he makes stuff for the 2 of us ie: soup with vegetable boulion and vegetables and then he adds his chicken just in his bowl or doesnt eat chicken in it at all) but for some reason he doesnt understand why i dont eat fish. he always says fish dont have feelings. how do you know??? of course they can feel when there head is being chopped off or when there suffocating out of the water.  that really makes me mad when he says that. 

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#10 Old 12-04-2012, 09:52 AM
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my SO normally doesnt say anything about my food choices and he even will make me special food and stuff when he cooks (we normally just eat seperate meals but on occcasion he makes stuff for the 2 of us ie: soup with vegetable boulion and vegetables and then he adds his chicken just in his bowl or doesnt eat chicken in it at all) but for some reason he doesnt understand why i dont eat fish. he always says fish dont have feelings. how do you know??? of course they can feel when there head is being chopped off or when there suffocating out of the water.  that really makes me mad when he says that. 

Wow, yes, that must be frustrating. Would he be open to reading up on the issue? If the studies were provided for him? I could try and look it up and provide info/links on here if you want. I'm certain it would be very easy to find reputable, peer-reviewed studies that prove that fish feel pain.

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#11 Old 12-04-2012, 09:58 AM
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Wow, yes, that must be frustrating. Would he be open to reading up on the issue? If the studies were provided for him? I could try and look it up and provide info/links on here if you want. I'm certain it would be very easy to find reputable, peer-reviewed studies that prove that fish feel pain.


http://news.discovery.com/animals/fish-feel-pain-too.html

http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0168159103001138

http://www.int-res.com/articles/dao_oa/d075p109.pdf

http://www.atol.com.br/artigos/pain_perception_aversion_and_fear_in_fish.pdf


"It is far better to be happy than to have your bodies act as graveyards for animals. Accordingly, the apostle Matthew partook of seeds, nuts and vegetables, without flesh"- Clement of Alexandria
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#12 Old 12-04-2012, 10:00 AM
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#13 Old 12-04-2012, 11:47 AM
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My husband is supportive of me being veggie  but he says it not for him at all  he says he loves his meat and he isnt  going to change his mind

He likes animals like cats and dogs  but he says cows are bread for milk and to be killed for meat  ...he dont seem to care that there killed in a horrific way...

I would get him to watch earthlings  but i cant watch it myself because i self injure and the blood and gore in it may lead me to self injure or at lest be triggered

He says that peta set up the videos about the animals being killed in horrific ways that really the cows are stunned and then killed and that they dont feel anything

I have never looked at the peta videos myself because of my self injury  but i can imagine what it will be like ...Tonight he ate some veggie sausages and chips for tea he likes them but not all the time he says


"The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated."
"To my mind, the life of a lamb is no less precious than that of a human being."
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#14 Old 12-04-2012, 11:49 AM
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Haha, thanks Rotoshave! I'm at work right now and couldn't start doing the research at the moment :)


I didn't mean to steal your thunder, azerea, but people have asked be about the fish and pain question as well as those are some articles I usually refer them to.  smiley.gif


"It is far better to be happy than to have your bodies act as graveyards for animals. Accordingly, the apostle Matthew partook of seeds, nuts and vegetables, without flesh"- Clement of Alexandria
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#15 Old 12-04-2012, 08:30 PM
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My boyfriend and I live together, but we buy our own food and cook our meals separately. He is extremely picky and never willing to try my food. He doesn't eat any vegetables (except for romaine in chicken caesar salad), doesn't like many fruits (only apples, bananas, grapes) and avoids grains because of carbs rolleyes.gif (oh my misinformed baby...) so his diet is primarily meat. And pie. He goes through a grocery store bakery pie every week.

Since living together I have opened his eyes to healthier choices- checking out food labels, reading ingredients, no more HFCS (he didn't even know what that was, sigh) and he makes smoothies now and even adds a few spinach leaves to it...but he hasn't cut back on his meat intake at all.

I bought Forks Over Knives and I'm hoping we'll watch it together this week. He's just so misinformed...he grew up on fast food and restaurant food because his parents don't cook. Isn't that so sad? They eat fast food every night. He has never tried things like peaches or asparagus. He had never heard of kale or edamame until we moved in together.

It breaks my heart...I am so passionate about my diet and making healthy choices because my dad went on a diet similar to the South Beach diet (primarily meat, no carbs) and he had a heart attack and died. I can't lose someone else I love.
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#16 Old 12-06-2012, 11:35 AM
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Wow, yes, that must be frustrating. Would he be open to reading up on the issue? If the studies were provided for him? I could try and look it up and provide info/links on here if you want. I'm certain it would be very easy to find reputable, peer-reviewed studies that prove that fish feel pain.

i dont think he really cares seeing as he enjoys fishing. some people just arent as compassionate as us. 

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#17 Old 12-07-2012, 11:49 AM
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Empathy.  Use it when dealing with omni SO's and anyone else in your life.  Most vegans were meat eaters at some point in our lives, go back to that time and remember what it's like when relating with others, try to put yourself in their shoes to help you understand their reasons for choosing to eat meat. 

 

I have been with my SO for about 12 years, he is currently not vegetarian.  At the beginning of our relationship I was transitioning from eating fish and dairy (took a year or 2) and dealing with my personal eating habits etc, eventually I became vegan and stuck with it.  When we started living together I also began to learn how to cook in my own way vs the ways I was taught by my mom and food network, this was a challenge as he was used to food with animal products so I ended up cooking 2 meals often.  It was probably a good 5-6 years before he actually started to eat the vegan food I made as part of his regular dinner.  During those years I taught him how to cook meat and cheesy items he likes to eat, this offered me some relief and opened his eyes to how much extra work and $ I was putting towards preparing his omni meals.  This was nice and worked out fine for a while, I would make a vegan meal and he would top it off with some sort of animal or animal product for himself.  Then we got hit hard financially, lost some jobs, had to move and budget to extremes, he realized how much money we were spending on his animal products (especially when choosing the more "humane" options the price gets higher...) and how unnecessary they were to him bc there is always a vegan option when I am cooking.  So being poor made him finally give up buying meat and eat vegan foods regularly.  He started feeling the benefits and now has no problem eating vegan food at home. 

 

He still eats meat, he tried giving it up for about a year but that recently subsided. When he does eat meat he usually gets pretty sick after and regrets it.  After our omni family Thanksgiving recently he barfed up the whole dinner shortly after.... He does buy dairy and eggs sometimes, but no meat especially bc he knows he has to prepare and cook it for himself.

 

I never asked him to be vegetarian or vegan, I never confronted him about it, and I don't try to make him feel bad for eating meat.  Love is acceptance.  It's his choice to watch animal rights videos and vegan documentaries with me, sometimes he watches sometimes he doesn't.  

 

The best way I have learned to deal with living with meat eaters is to cook amazing vegan food and share it with them.  

You give me so much HOPE!! And thank you for the reminder to be empathetic! :-)



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