Need a little advice with dealing with la famille.. - VeggieBoards
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#1 Old 04-26-2012, 02:00 PM
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Ok, just wanna say outright (before I get into this whole situation) that this isn't veg*nism related - my parents have learnt to deal with the fact that I (and now my little brother! yay!) do not eat animal products. They're used to me being 'odd' (as my nan calls me). So yeah, anyway, here goes.

For as long as I can remember, I've been into history. In a big way, I love it. I went to school and didn't apply myself. I'm intelligent, but I don't do very well learning from books - I have to be doing something. So after I left school, I dropped out of sixth form college and ended up working full time. I wasn't happy in the jobs I was in, but I wasn't unnecessarily unhappy with the life I had chosen either. Then I got a job at a museum and felt so useless: I was the only one without an A level, let alone a degree. So I promised myself that I would go and do my degree at university: I worked hard to get there, and now that I am here, I'm not sure that this is where I want to be. No, in fact, I'm pretty certain that the life of an academic is not for me. I'm not a serious person: I don't need a career or several doctorates to make me happy. In fact I'm pretty laid back: I tend to take life as it comes. All university has proved to me is that History, as much as I love it, it isn't a good career choice for me. I like working too much. The only issue is, telling my mum and stepdad. Usually, what they say or think doesn't really bother me, I just let it run over my head. Its just, we've all been through alot to keep me in university and the guilt is really starting to get to me. My mum works all the hours under the sun to keep me afloat, so how do I tell her that this isn't what I want to do anymore? Especially as there is no guarantee of a job offer at the end of it. I'm pretty sure I want to work with animals, maybe as a veterinary nurse. The demand for VN's is rising in the UK, and the course and training is much more me. Aside from that, before I began working in the museum I was training to be a florist and I loved it. My mum knows how much I loved it and, I think I would just be so much happier doing something anything but history.


I know this hasn't been the best explanation or story and I know its been a little hard to follow, but, how do I tell them?

"The love for all living creatures is the most noble attribute of man." - Charles Darwin
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#2 Old 04-26-2012, 03:32 PM
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Before you have this talk with your family, be sure you are right with your reasons for wanting to leave school. I hated most of my own coursework in college. I'd get all the way through an article or book and feel like I hadn't retained a thing. I finally managed by dropping back to part-time and concentrating on three courses at once instead of five. I didn't finish first, but I finished.

If you were back working at that museum, but this time with your degree, would you be happy and feel like you fit in? Do you think of becoming a florist or veterinarian assistant because those fields inspire you, or just because you know you can make it through the training? The worst of it is that it sounds like you have to decide between being in the knowledge class or the service class, and that the knowledge class is intimidating. College can make us feel stupid but that doesn't mean that we are, or that we can't get through with help. The courses might be agony, but people endure them because they don't want to end up working under some moron who has the degree they never got. Leaving college might be the best thing for you. But before you decide and have the family talk, try to take the long view for yourself.
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#3 Old 04-26-2012, 07:41 PM
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I think if it were me I'd just finish it now anyway and then see if I still felt like doing something else.

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#4 Old 04-27-2012, 11:21 AM
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I think you sound like you've thought this through, and you genuinely aren't happy doing what you are doing, and so I think you are very wise to want to cut your losses.

I think the best way to tell them it to just say what you've said to us, explain that you really appreciate their help and support, but that you don't think this is what is best for you, and you're not happy doing what you're doing. Don't just tell them the facts, explain how you feel, and that it was important to you to talk to them because of their support, explain that you were worried about upsetting them. That way they're much more likley to understand this was a difficult decision, and that it really means something to you - rather than you just changed your mind. Also remember that whatever they say, your making the right decision for you, and that they'll come around with time if needs be, however I expect they'll understand that this isn't the right choice for you as well.
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#5 Old 04-27-2012, 11:59 AM
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Look right I am personally in my second year of uni and I have to do a year internship in September for a firm I despise. Do I want to work for them no, do I enjoy my course not really, am I gonna quit no way I choose to study law because I want to get to a position where I can make a difference in a field I do care about and do have interest in. Now I'm not saying without uni you can't do well, but it certainly opens up doors, no one is saying you have to be a historian. But why not just finish the degree and branch out into some field of history you enjoy more after, and you do realize there's no guarantee you would get onto veterinary course right especially if they see you hopped out of uni. A lot of my friends finish this year and some finished last year and almost all of them are in jobs that have nothing to do with the degree they took lol one of my friends who is studying psychology is in talk/screening process for a job with MI5 lol.
Me personally I would stay stick at it and do a crossover degree after you finish your current one.


Quote:
Originally Posted by arcoftime View Post

-I was the only one without an A level, let alone a degree. So I promised myself that I would go and do my degree at university
-I don't need a career or several doctorates to make me happy. In fact I'm pretty laid back: I tend to take life as it comes.
- All university has proved to me is that History, as much as I love it, it isn't a good career choice for me. I like working too much.

A few contradictions here because clearly you do care about career because you didn't like the position you had when you were at an entry level position in the museum. And if you love working to much why not try and get a job in something you are passionate about, yeah sure you may have **** wage for a while but in the long term it will pay of.
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#6 Old 04-30-2012, 04:26 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lorenzo View Post

Look right I am personally in my second year of uni and I have to do a year internship in September for a firm I despise. Do I want to work for them no, do I enjoy my course not really, am I gonna quit no way I choose to study law because I want to get to a position where I can make a difference in a field I do care about and do have interest in. Now I'm not saying without uni you can't do well, but it certainly opens up doors, no one is saying you have to be a historian. But why not just finish the degree and branch out into some field of history you enjoy more after, and you do realize there's no guarantee you would get onto veterinary course right especially if they see you hopped out of uni. A lot of my friends finish this year and some finished last year and almost all of them are in jobs that have nothing to do with the degree they took lol one of my friends who is studying psychology is in talk/screening process for a job with MI5 lol.
Me personally I would stay stick at it and do a crossover degree after you finish your current one.




A few contradictions here because clearly you do care about career because you didn't like the position you had when you were at an entry level position in the museum. And if you love working to much why not try and get a job in something you are passionate about, yeah sure you may have **** wage for a while but in the long term it will pay of.


Thanks for your reply, but, I don't think 'sticking it out' would benefit me at all. In my post, I was trying to get across that when I worked at the museum I thought a degree would benefit me but now that I've actually done two years at uni, its not for me. I gave it my best shot and lord knows I've been through hell and back trying to get here. I'm not just saying that: 5 deaths in my family, a friend going missing, being threatened with court action, a grandparent falling off of a balcony and being diagnosed with severe depression has all happened while I've been at uni or in the four months before I started. And I am trying to get a job in something I am passionate about, that was the whole point of the post! I'm not bothered about **** pay, I've been there and done that: but I've always loved the jobs I was doing while I being paid so low. I also don't have the funds to do a crossover degree or a masters. And it wasn't that I disliked my position at the museum, it was more the fact I felt so stupid next to the graduates who, by the way, were doing exactly the same job that I was doing (sometimes worse).

Anyway, I spoke to my parents and my mum was surprisingly fine with it. I told them my plan, and they're fine as long as I'm happy. I guess I was just worrying about nothing!

"The love for all living creatures is the most noble attribute of man." - Charles Darwin
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#7 Old 05-01-2012, 11:47 AM
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I'm glad they were fine! yay, I hope you find work that makes you happy. You shouldn't feel stupid next to graduates! University teaches you specific things, in a specific way, and that's great but it doesn't define how intelligent you are. You don't have to be intelligent to go to university, or even to do well, it depends on the uni/your course/how you learn/learning style/etc. Plently of incredibly intelligent people, infact some of the most intelligent people, have done badly academically.

Anyway I'm glad it went well.
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#8 Old 05-01-2012, 12:03 PM
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Hi arcoftime, it sounds like you have made your decision so good for you. I am also into history and that's what I did my degree in, and I did look into trying to get a history-related job but there were hardly any out there, at all. And that was 15 years ago! the job market is much worse now than it was then.

I think there is something to be said for keeping your passions as something you want to do, rather than something you have to do as part of a degree or job or whatever. I bet you will always love history, whether or not you are lucky enough to get one of the few history-related jobs out there.

The only thing I would say is that I know my degree opened doors for me career-wise - not in history as such, but just in terms of general employability. And you have already come so far! I guess all I'd say is to think hard and make sure you are comfortable with the impact that this decision will probably have on your life long-term. But it sounds as though you have given it a lot of thought. I don't mean to sound patronising, just trying to give you honest advice
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#9 Old 05-01-2012, 01:37 PM
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I did think long and hard about the impact leaving uni would have on my future employability, but as I intend to retrain as something else, I hope it won't be that bad. I was very fortunate that the museum took a risk in hiring me (275+ people went for two jobs, and I got one) and I'm thankful for that: it means I have some amazing experience which I can utilise in the future. I think I've been even more fortunate in that I chose to work for five or six years before I went to uni (I'm a mature student) and so I have a lot of experience in a lot of different fields behind me: the story would be completely different if I was eighteen and fresh out of sixth form/uni.

That being said, I'm a firm believer in what will be will be: if a firm doesn't hire me because of my lack of degree (which is totally fair), then they're probably not right for me anyway. I'm not one for seeing how far I can go, but as long as I can be employed and as long as I enjoy and care about the job I'm doing then that's enough for me.


Thank you for all of your help everyone! Gosh I love this board.

"The love for all living creatures is the most noble attribute of man." - Charles Darwin
http://leighonamission.wordress.com
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