Veggie/Vegan women... (veg women dating omni men) - VeggieBoards
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#1 Old 03-02-2004, 02:23 PM
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I'm sure this is a topic that has been covered ad nauseum but I thought I'd start a new one :-)



Why is it that soo many veggie/vegan women are perfectly content dating/marrying meat eaters (even my sister did it for petes sake!)

I wouldn't contemplate doing it, and yes, I know, veggie/vegan single women are are rare as hens teeth.... and before a smart alec tells me, I know, birds do have teeth.. well 1 egg tooth, although it gets absorbed into the beak, as it grows.



I'm sure the blokes out there would concur with me .. and the ladies would cry foul saying that there aren't *any* decent veggie/vegan men out there.....



Do you think I'll get flamed?
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#2 Old 03-02-2004, 03:28 PM
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Hmm, well there aren't many veggie guys out there and the thought of kissing a mouth that had just had meat in it was just too nasty for me to deal with. (I'm one of those veggies who can't comprehend that meat eaters put dead animals in their mouths. Ewww!)

My solution to the problem: make your own vegetarian. I've had three boyfriends (counting my fiance) and they all knew that if they wanted to go out to dinner with me or have a kiss goodnight, they had to be vegetarian. All three went veg and all three have stayed veg. Maybe I'm demanding, but I like to think that I'm just that irresistable
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#3 Old 03-02-2004, 03:40 PM
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I go out with who I click with and I haven't clicked with any veg guys.
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#4 Old 03-02-2004, 03:40 PM
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I've had three boyfriends (counting my fiance) and they all knew that if they wanted to go out to dinner with me or have a kiss goodnight, they had to be vegetarian. All three went veg and all three have stayed veg. Maybe I'm demanding, but I like to think that I'm just that irresistable

Woah, they're all still veg?! That's great!
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#5 Old 03-02-2004, 03:42 PM
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I've had three boyfriends (counting my fiance) and they all knew that if they wanted to go out to dinner with me or have a kiss goodnight, they had to be vegetarian. All three went veg and all three have stayed veg. Maybe I'm demanding, but I like to think that I'm just that irresistable



Same here... my previous gfs have all been veggies (at least to my face and while they were with me) .... but I don't think they've stayed, and I (now) know that they weren't before meeting me.. This time round, I want to find someone who already is, rather than make someone...

I guess I'm just not as irresistable as you :P
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#6 Old 03-02-2004, 03:58 PM
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It would certainly be great to date another veggie, but I wouldn't refuse to see someone just because they weren't.



All I ask is that an omni that I date be respectful of my veganism and not try to kiss me with meaty mouth. I wouldn't kiss a smoker unless he/she brushed his/her teeth first, so I guess I'd handle meat the same way.



If I got serious with an omni to the point of living together or being married, then we'd have to sit down and talk about compromises ahead of time, such as not having bloody hunks of meat dripping onto my veg food. Separate refrigerators would be ideal, I think. All of my veggie food, and all of my partner's non meaty omni food (I'm willing to compromise on dairy products being in the 'fridge since they aren't really gross to look at as long as they are packaged) could go in the main 'fridge, and a little small mini-fridge like you'd use in a dorm room could hold the SO's meaty stuff. I could handle frozen meat stuff being in the freezer if it was in something...like if my partner wanted to keep some frozen pepperoni pizzas or whatever in the freezer, but I'd be uncomfortable with big frozen slabs of flesh being in there.



I think that's reasonable.



And I think I've gone off on a tangent, heh.



I live with omnis right now, and it's never fun to open the 'fridge and see a big bloody hunk of meat marinating or something, but I cope because I know it's only temporary while I live with my family and save up for a house of my own.



The idea of living the rest of my life with the prospect of facing big bloody hunks of meat in the 'fridge is a little harder to cope with, I think.



But to get back to the strictly dating thing...unfortuately, it does appear that there are more veggie women than men, which can make it harder for veggie women to find male veggie mates. I happen to be willing and able to date both genders, but that's just my own personal sexuality. Heterosexual veggie women probably have a harder time.



I try to remember that most of us were omnis once (I certainly was) and it took someone showing me how wonderful veg*ism is to really open my eyes and make me curious about it. (Side note: I later learned that that person was actually a pescetarian, heh. But she made me curious enough to investigate veg*ism, and the research I did is what really converted me.) Maybe an omni person that I date will have a similar experience. But I won't try to forcibly convert anyone or anything.



So yeah, I think I've rambled enough. ^^;;



ETA: I should clarify, I'm willing and able to date both genders if I'm free to date whomever I want. I just started dating someone recently, though, so I'm not in the market at the moment, heh. (I didn't want to give a false impression. Gosh, this is wordy. Sorry.)

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#7 Old 03-02-2004, 04:08 PM
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I see my worst fears are realised... I'll go back to sleep now.





(never been an omni. always called them by their real name: meat eaters. Omni makes it sound acceptable.. to me.. it isn't. Damn, I wish I didnt have such polar views)

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#8 Old 03-02-2004, 04:09 PM
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I did go on one date with one vegetarian guy. He was so boring that time seemed to stand still.
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#9 Old 03-02-2004, 04:14 PM
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The only thing i really request from an omni relationship, is that they be respectful of what is a really huge part of my life. If my boyfriend (who's family raises cattle) were waving beef in my face, then it would be one thing. But he works hard to make sure i have something good to eat, and takes me out to the vegetarian resturant for both things like my birthday, and things that should be equal for both of us, like valentines day. Even on his birthday we go somewhere where i like the food more than he does. Respecting my veganism is just another way that he shows me he cares, not a bump in our relationship
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#10 Old 03-02-2004, 04:15 PM
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Married to an Omni and I'm perfectly content. I was engaged at one point to a fellow veg*n. He was too busy trying to be Mr. Rockstar Anyway... My husband kind and respectful of my lifestyle. It's a matter of tolerance. For example, a catholic may find it difficult to settle down with a non catholic. Questions about how to raise children, going to church(how often?) and heat from family is a factor. Just like religion lifestyle needs to be discussed before the wedding.



Plain and simple, it's a choice. If YOU cannot fathom living, f*cking or working with an Omni then seek out other veg*ns as partners! I don't think anyone on this board has a right to judge who one wants to spent the rest of their life with.



Besides, trying to find a vegetarian male in the midwest without dreadlocks, (or as.s length hair) who doesn't wear patchouli that has more life goals than sitting in a tree contemplating thier navel while listening to the Grateful dead.

Now that's hens teeth.



Search this board, you will find numerous threads on the subject.
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#11 Old 03-02-2004, 04:20 PM
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I date meat-eaters because I know no veg*ns. If I refused to date anyone who was not veg*n I would be a lonely and frustrated woman indeed.

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#12 Old 03-02-2004, 04:21 PM
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Is there any way I can delete this thread?
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#13 Old 03-02-2004, 04:48 PM
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Why do you want it deleted? I suppose you could get a mod to lock it, but there's no flame war or insults happening, so I can't see why.

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#14 Old 03-02-2004, 04:56 PM
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I've never met a veggie or vegan guy, except at a veggie group meeting, and one was about 70 and the other seemed dull as dirt. Sure, I'd like to date a vegan guy, but I think it's possible for someone to be a thoughtful human being and still come to different conclusions about meat eating than the ones I have. I'm pretty open-minded, as is my bf.



Oh, and I make my bf brush his teeth if he tastes "meaty."
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#15 Old 03-02-2004, 05:01 PM
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*mod post*



VeggieBloke,



You won't be able to delete this, because you started the thread. If you had a random post somewhere in a thread that someone else started, you would be able to delete it.



Because this thread does not, at this time, go against the TOS of the board, there is no reason for me to lock it.



If you would like to edit your original post to remove the text, you are welcome to do so.



Please PM me if you have any questions.



(Also, any attempts to deliberately violate the TOS and get this locked would be frowned upon, so please don't do that, thanks.)

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#16 Old 03-02-2004, 05:21 PM
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Why is it that soo many veggie/vegan women are perfectly content dating/marrying meat eaters (even my sister did it for petes sake!)

I wouldn't contemplate doing it, and yes, I know, veggie/vegan single women are are rare as hens teeth.... and before a smart alec tells me, I know, birds do have teeth.. well 1 egg tooth, although it gets absorbed into the beak, as it grows.



I often wondered that myself. Although, I no longer have to worry as I have found the best possible vegan gal in exsistance. I do hope that the single vegan gals out there get them a vegan man. Nothing beats a vegan couple.
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#17 Old 03-02-2004, 05:23 PM
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the thought of kissing a mouth that just had meat in it was just too nasty



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#18 Old 03-02-2004, 05:28 PM
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Originally Posted by VeggieBloke View Post


Why is it that soo many veggie/vegan women are perfectly content dating/marrying meat eaters ?



Because being vegan doesn't make a man or woman any better a human being (in other words, doesn't make you more valuable. If we are all equal, then it would be inconsistent to state otherwise). I've never met any vegans or vegetarians male or female in real life, but many I've experienced online can be pricks as well as any hardcore meat lover. People are basically the same. Is veganism, in my opinion, a standard of ethics I find desirable in a person? Yes; Does it make or break the entirety and complexity that is a human being? No.



I know some very loving, compassionate, decent, respectful omni men (and women); and know of some very hate-filled, insensitive, disrespectful, intolerant vegans and vegetarians.



Do I wish everyone were vegan? Sure I do



eta: I also believe it is a better decision to choose veganism, based on ethics; but, again, doesn't change the value of anyone or any living being, including the good, the bad and the ugly.
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#19 Old 03-02-2004, 05:35 PM
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While my vegetariansim is key to the way I go about my life, it is not the only thing that makes me who I am . I recognise that, and therefore I realise that it works the same way for people with other diets (be it omni, pescatarian, and yes even vegan).

My bf is omni but I realy don't notice. He rarely eats anything with meat in in my presence. Also, him being veggie wouldn't make me love him any more than I do now, and so him being omni doesn't diminish my love or respect for him.

He is the right person for me now, for a billion reasons.
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#20 Old 03-02-2004, 05:40 PM
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Damn, I wish I didnt have such polar views




I wish more people would share your views on this issue (meat eating), VeggieBloke fella!
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#21 Old 03-02-2004, 05:43 PM
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Originally Posted by VeggieBloke View Post


Why is it that soo many veggie/vegan women are perfectly content dating/marrying meat eaters (even my sister did it for petes sake!)



I read it 'even my sister did it for peta's sake' and for a second there was a little baffled....
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#22 Old 03-02-2004, 06:03 PM
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I think veggie women date omni men because good men are difficult enough to find, we shouldn't eliminate 98% of them! I've met one vegan man in my life, and one vegetarian man... neither of whom I wouldeven consider dating unless their personalities changed completely. Like Strix said, veg*nism doesn't make or break a person's morality. It's a good thing, but I don't think I'd choose a boring veg*n guy to date over an omni guy that I found really interesting. All things being equal, I'd choose a veg*n.
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#23 Old 03-02-2004, 06:06 PM
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Plain and simple, it's a choice



I am quite positive that every person who is ethical veg*n, male or female, would prefer if their significant other was veg*n as well. Clearly, if you are concerned about animal abuse and exploitation, you feel much better when the person you love is not putting pieces of animal carcass in his/her mouth.



I think that those veg*ns who are happy with a non-veg*n SO, are either veg*n not out of ethical considerations, or they are able to and do (choose to, if you will) get over the fact that their SO is not veg*n (nobody's perfect!).



I have no idea about the demographics of veg*ns, or how many veg*n women resp. men date veg*ns exclusively and how many date omnis too. There do seem to be many veg*n women who are together with omni men, I agree with this observation.



Personally, I see myself less and less able to tolerate meat eating in my partner. Luckily, I don't have to worry about any of this anymore, since I already found my perfect little (vegan) girl, although this is only one aspect I adore in her.





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Originally Posted by FalafelsRule View Post

Nothing beats a vegan couple.



I quite agree with that
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#24 Old 03-02-2004, 06:26 PM
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It is such a joy to share your life with someone who shares your values. I love to prepare and then enjoy my/our vegan creations together. I would of never been able to tolerate animal flesh in the home as well as any cruelty products in which I have control over purchasing (household cleaners, shoes, belts, beauty products). So for me, and people like me, having a vegan mate was the only way. All I have to really suggest is that you practice patience. The internet is a good meeting place to establish friendships with the hopes of something more. Also, vegan meet ups (I guess, I never been to a public one), or possibly animal rights events/animal abuse protests seem like they may be good places to meet the elusive vegan/veggie mate.
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#25 Old 03-02-2004, 06:27 PM
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I don't know any veggie guys. I did in college but no longer know any veggies at all (men or women)



My husband is an omni, but he is extremely respectful and I beleive that is the reason it works for us. He never makes me cook meat for him. He never makes me buy meat for him. If I go to kiss him and he had just eaten a piece of meat, he turns away and tells me he just had meat. Whenever we go out to eat with friends or by ourselves, he always makes sure theres something there I can eat.



The fact that I'm a vegetarian and hes an omni has never been an issue between us. I do know that most people aren't that lucky though. For example, I have heard many women complain that their "husbands" make them cook meat. Thankgoodness I don't have to deal with that. But then again, it probably wouldn't have worked out if that were the case.
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#26 Old 03-02-2004, 06:45 PM
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I agree with a lot of the other women...first you have to find that elusive male veg*n (and I have only met one in my life outside my family) and THEN they have to be compatible with you. And, at least in Arkansas, that would be like not getting job because you're counting on winning the lottery.
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#27 Old 03-02-2004, 07:13 PM
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Originally Posted by VeggieBloke View Post

Why is it that soo many veggie/vegan women are perfectly content dating/marrying meat eaters (even my sister did it for petes sake!)



I think there's probably a few reasons.



1) Sometimes the person they date/marry is always respectful of their choices and therefore it isn't a problem.



2) They might be a veg*n for health reasons rather than ethics



3) Some women think that if they wait for a suitable veg*n guy, they might wait for ever



4) Some women lack assertiveness and either don't think to go after what they want, or don't think that they are worthy of getting it. So they end up settling for a meat-eater.

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#28 Old 03-02-2004, 07:38 PM
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and may I suggest

5) many people go veg after already being in a relationship.
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#29 Old 03-02-2004, 09:45 PM
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I am married to a meat eater...and the whole family is ominivorous -- I am the only veg*n...so, I learn to live with it..my convictions are that strong...



I only get upset when people purposfully try to throw meat in my face. My husband was making filets the other night for the family (I chose the portabella mushroom route, much better in my opinion) and I was in the kitchen preparing salad, asparagus, mashed cauliflower (have you ever tried that, it is awesome!) and he waved the plate of filets under my nose..I almost threw up right then and there...he said "how about this dead cow" -- that was one of the most hurtful things he could have done to me. I kept telling him to stop and he wouldn't. Then he walked into the other room where my mother was sitting and asked her what he did wrong...they are awful to me sometimes...she didn't even tell him he was bad.



Please...do you agree with me, wasn't that terrible??? I would really prefer him as a vegetarian or vegan..it would make life a lot less complicated. He actually ate some chicken substitute (tvp) the other day and really liked it. I thought that was a score on my side...



Good luck all..in your quests for veg*n significant others.



I am much more progressive and liberal than my husband..however, I don't consider veg*nism progressive and liberal..it just seems like they go together most of the time. There are many conservatives and non progressives that I know who are vegetarian. Thankfully, my husband does work with one...she has opened his eyes to the world of veg*nism -- to make him realize it isn't just me.
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#30 Old 03-02-2004, 10:18 PM
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I'm all about nonviolence, but I may have had to take my shoe off at that, and wack DH right over the head.



As to the rest of this...YIKES. Not sure what I'd do. I should say I don't currently date. I'm not closed to dating an omni, but it just seems like it would cause unecessary problems. Course there's the problem of actually finding a veg*n.



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