not that I'm a big Cosmo freak, but they answered this question from a reader in this issue.. figured I'd share.
"My boyfriend and I are very much in love. I'm crazy about children and hope to marry someday, but my guy insists he can't stand kids and doesn't know if he even wants to get married. We're only 22, so part of me feels like he'll change his mind when he matures. Should I stick it out or move on to someone who shares my dreams?"
"At the very young age of 22, most men and women have no clue what they want in life. But you seem to be one hundred percent sure you want a child someday, and chances are, as your biological clock starts creeping toward 30 and then 40, your maternal longings will only increase. A guy like your boyfriend, however, who's only a few years out of childhood himself, can't know for sure what he wants down the road. It's very likely that as he gets older and takes on more responsibility in life, he'll change his mind and decide that, yes, he really does want a wife and kids after all. But unfortunately, when it comes to a permanent comitment, "very likely" is just not good enough. Are you willing to gamble on a guy who might never want kids? On the other hand, you are young too, with a long future ahead of you - there's no rush to settle down with a husband and kids right away. So if you're happy with this man, I say go ahead and gamble a while longer. And in the meantime, subtly work on changing his attitude. Take him to family gatherings where he can spend some time with kids and maybe get more comfortable with them. However, if over the next year, you start feeling antsy and your boyfriend shows no signs of changing his mind, you might need to end the relationship. That way, you'll have plenty of time to meet a man who does
share your dream."
... yeah, so, might not apply to all relationships, married ones especially, but I think.. If one partner really wants kids, and the other really doesn't... it won't work out. Because, let's face it.. if you really want a child, and can't have one, not because you aren't able, but because your partner doesn't want one, you'll be resentful later on. And if you're forced into having a child when you don't want one, you'll also resent that, even though you'll probably love your kids.
Also.. to me.. the kids should be thought of. I would rather have two parents who love me, than one who tolerates me and one who adores me. There's also going to be less family stress if both parents are enthusiastic, willing, loving parents who wanted the child. That's not everyone's view but.. it's mine. As a kid, both parents visibly loved me. Now that I'm older, my dad doesn't really seem to care, and it sucks. If I had dealt with that growing up, instead of in my later teens... yuck