Just need to get this out and tell some people...
Over christmas I found out that my grandmother had lung cancer
A grim assessment at the best of times, but they didn't know exactly how bad it was. She was supposed to have the tumor removed today, but when they opened her up they found that the entire lung was just *covered* in cancer. They couldn't remove it because her other lung had collapsed from a car accident about a year ago. So she's dying... not sure how much longer she'll be around. She's still in the hospital as of now, and isn't out the water yet. She's very frail, has heart disease and really bad arthritis, so the anethesia will have hit her pretty hard. Taken horrible care of herself over the years. Bad diet, smoked like a chimney, was an alcoholic. I can't have much sympathy for her health-wise--she did do it to herself afterall--but I certainly don't feel good about it
And I'm worried about my mom and my aunt as well. They're both very upset.
I feel really crappy about all this, and it's midterm time, so I can't even allow it to affect my performance... no vegging out for me
Even though that's really what I feel like I need to do. Fortunately spring break is coming up soon.
And my best friend is leaving school tomorrow because she's extremely stressed about various things. Only friend would be more like it.. so I'm going to spend the next month or so almost completely alone. I'm not much looking forward to it. I hate going to meal hall by myself.
I'm trying to think of things that'll fill my time for the next while, but I'm not sure it'll work. At least I know it'll end soon. It's not been a good time at all.