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Astarte 02-18-2004 09:27 PM

Just need to get this out and tell some people...

Over christmas I found out that my grandmother had lung cancer A grim assessment at the best of times, but they didn't know exactly how bad it was. She was supposed to have the tumor removed today, but when they opened her up they found that the entire lung was just *covered* in cancer. They couldn't remove it because her other lung had collapsed from a car accident about a year ago. So she's dying... not sure how much longer she'll be around. She's still in the hospital as of now, and isn't out the water yet. She's very frail, has heart disease and really bad arthritis, so the anethesia will have hit her pretty hard. Taken horrible care of herself over the years. Bad diet, smoked like a chimney, was an alcoholic. I can't have much sympathy for her health-wise--she did do it to herself afterall--but I certainly don't feel good about it And I'm worried about my mom and my aunt as well. They're both very upset.

I feel really crappy about all this, and it's midterm time, so I can't even allow it to affect my performance... no vegging out for me Even though that's really what I feel like I need to do. Fortunately spring break is coming up soon.

And my best friend is leaving school tomorrow because she's extremely stressed about various things. Only friend would be more like it.. so I'm going to spend the next month or so almost completely alone. I'm not much looking forward to it. I hate going to meal hall by myself.

I'm trying to think of things that'll fill my time for the next while, but I'm not sure it'll work. At least I know it'll end soon. It's not been a good time at all.

misq17 02-18-2004 10:31 PM

Hang in there. A loved one having health problems can be really devestating but think of all the great times youve had with your grandma.

CaptainSwab 02-18-2004 11:11 PM

I'm sorry. That sounds really hard, but know that you can always vent on here.

I hope things look up for you soon.

1vegan 02-19-2004 01:33 AM

AuroraLily 02-19-2004 09:23 AM

My only suggestion is to make sure you tell your grandmother how much you love her. Spent time with her and make some good memories.

zoebird 02-19-2004 10:48 AM

i wish you all the best.

when i go through these situations (which happens about every year), i try to take time to myself every day to sort out my feelings and then to just feel them. Let them out. Otherwise, the bottled up stuff comes out at odd times, way down the line. So, i learned that lesson. Give yourself time.

Also, remind yourself that you are not responsible for your mom or aunt. Learn to be present for them, but don't take on their feelings and worries. It is hard loosing a loved one, a parent, but it is also a natural order and death can be a beautiful thing.

Be there for your grandmother too. When she comes to peace with her own passing, you'll recieve that peace as well, and be able to share it with others.

Good luck, and be well and happy!

GhostUser 02-19-2004 11:01 AM

Originally Posted by AuroraLily View Post

My only suggestion is to make sure you tell your grandmother how much you love her. Spent time with her and make some good memories.

I agree. Tell her all the things that you told us about her. Tell her how much you love her, remind her of some memories when you were a child with her. It will make her last days on earth comfortable, and it will give you a closeness and a closing that will eventually give you some comfort as well.

I'm so sorry to hear of this. No matter how often we hear it or tell ourselves it's a part of life, it never gets easier.

You'll be in my thoughts...

Astarte 02-19-2004 12:33 PM

Thanks a lot guys. I appreciate it Luckily, there was a really big snowstorm today and school was closed. I was supposed to write a midterm, but it's been postponed. Which is *definitely* a good thing. So I'm just sitting here playing some computer games and trying not to about schoolwork at all. So it's just my fun classes tomorrow and then the weekend.

Seadolphin 02-19-2004 10:02 PM

*big hug*. I'm so sorry to hear about your difficult times. Like others have said, try to spend some time w/your grandma & let her know how much you care about her. Remember the good times you've had w/her. If you need to cry, its okay...let yourself cry or deal however you need to.

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