I've posted here before when my BF and I broke up once before. Reading stuff always lifts my spirits a bit and its easier to share on the interwebs than IRL.
My BF of 3 years decided he never will want to marry me, so ended it (though I've never even discussed marriage). Anywho, I'm not a super social person and quite awkward so I have very few friends. I never keep a very big circle and I consider him my best friend so we pretty much did everything together.
I'm worried about finding someone else.
I will be graduating and going to a different school for another 2 years. I am worried about meeting people there, here I at least had him.
I am worried about finding a house/apartment that will take me and my two dogs (they bark, like all dogs, and having them in an apartment will be hard). Here we shared a house, and he loves my dogs.
I am sad that once our lease is up (in a couple months) I will never see him again. He wants to start the "next phase of his life" by himself.
I am sad I will have nobody else to cook for or buy little things for (this is silly, I know).
I'm sad that I am essentially losing my best friend. And I'm scared to death of it.
I'm a very shy person and because of this I don't come off well to people - I don't meet people easily. I've been at my college two years and only casually chat with 2 people in my classes.
Next year, I envision myself in the city I will be in, sitting alone, in my apartment, with my two dogs, extremely depressed because I haven't socialized with anybody in weeks.
My friends from my previous school and the people I work with never liked him and always said I could "do better." They didn't like the way he treated me. And I will say he has a very dominant personality that many wouldn't tolerate but I can't say I never loved him.
He says I'm his best friend, that he loves doing things with me, cares deeply for me, but just doesn't want to be with me. It makes me think that I'm flawed. This is what my very short term BF before him said.
I know I sound quite pathetic, but I needed to vent. I'm sure others have felt like this before. Maybe things worked out for the best?