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-   -   Anyone have any spirit lifting stories (bad breakup)? (https://www.veggieboards.com/forum/25-relationships-family/123174-anyone-have-any-spirit-lifting-stories-bad-breakup.html)

s0ad 03-17-2011 10:00 PM

I've posted here before when my BF and I broke up once before. Reading stuff always lifts my spirits a bit and its easier to share on the interwebs than IRL.

My BF of 3 years decided he never will want to marry me, so ended it (though I've never even discussed marriage). Anywho, I'm not a super social person and quite awkward so I have very few friends. I never keep a very big circle and I consider him my best friend so we pretty much did everything together.

I'm worried about finding someone else.

I will be graduating and going to a different school for another 2 years. I am worried about meeting people there, here I at least had him.

I am worried about finding a house/apartment that will take me and my two dogs (they bark, like all dogs, and having them in an apartment will be hard). Here we shared a house, and he loves my dogs.

I am sad that once our lease is up (in a couple months) I will never see him again. He wants to start the "next phase of his life" by himself.

I am sad I will have nobody else to cook for or buy little things for (this is silly, I know).

I'm sad that I am essentially losing my best friend. And I'm scared to death of it.

I'm a very shy person and because of this I don't come off well to people - I don't meet people easily. I've been at my college two years and only casually chat with 2 people in my classes.

Next year, I envision myself in the city I will be in, sitting alone, in my apartment, with my two dogs, extremely depressed because I haven't socialized with anybody in weeks.

My friends from my previous school and the people I work with never liked him and always said I could "do better." They didn't like the way he treated me. And I will say he has a very dominant personality that many wouldn't tolerate but I can't say I never loved him.

He says I'm his best friend, that he loves doing things with me, cares deeply for me, but just doesn't want to be with me. It makes me think that I'm flawed. This is what my very short term BF before him said.

I know I sound quite pathetic, but I needed to vent. I'm sure others have felt like this before. Maybe things worked out for the best?

mlp 03-17-2011 10:27 PM

You're not flawed. Well, I should say, we're all flawed - we're human beings after all - but you're no more flawed than anyone else.

You're going to be starting a new life, in a new school. It's an opportunity for you, and you will have the most consistent love possible with you - that of and for your dogs. Do things with your dogs. Take them to dog parks. Take them to summer concerts in the park. Take them to the farmers' market. Find things to do and places to go where you can take your dogs. It will enrich their lives and will be good for you. Dogs aren't just chick magnets - they're people magnets. Whenever one of my dogs is with me, I end up in conversations with people. Study outside on the school quad on nice days and take your dogs along. You'll end up meeting other dog people. Make play dates with them for your dogs.

If your friends and colleagues didn't like your boyfriend because of the way he treated you, you are almost certainly well rid of him.

Concentrate on what you have.

s0ad 03-17-2011 10:42 PM

Thank you mlp! I truly appreciate the kind words. It does really help, especially ideas which make me think things won't be so grim after all.

Also when I changed my FB status people came out of the woodworks to chat with me which was nice. (:

Irizary 03-17-2011 10:44 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by s0ad View Post

Next year, I envision myself in the city I will be in, sitting alone, in my apartment, with my two dogs, extremely depressed because I haven't socialized with anybody in weeks.

My friends from my previous school and the people I work with never liked him and always said I could "do better." They didn't like the way he treated me.

You can't see it now because you're in pain, but I'm pretty sure that when you're out of this relationship you will feel some sense of relief eventually, even if you're alone, because your tolerance for being treated badly will have lessened when you're away from it. Sometimes we get used to a kind of treatment, even if it's not good. Breaking up frees you up to find something better, even if that "better" is being alone (and I think it is, ultimately).

And you won't really be sitting alone - you'll be with the dogs, and they will be a lot of comfort to you.

Amy SF 03-17-2011 11:29 PM

Spirit lifting stories? Well, here goes.

I was in the gym one day when the ghost of a gym rat who died when he was crushed by a pair of 500 pound weights floated over to me. He explained that he was running out of ectoplasm and he dearly wanted to float off to heaven. He was trying to find somebody who had the strength to lift him up towards the ceiling so he could break free of his earthly bonds and float off towards the light. I told him I wasn't strong enough, and he cried and begged and pleaded with me to help him. So, I went to the gym every day and worked out, and gradually I became stronger and stronger, and this gave me hope that one day I would be able to help this poor earthbound spirit. And one day it happened! I climbed up on top of the reception counter where the girl was too busy filing her nails to notice, and LIFTED that spirit right up through the ceiling of the gym! It made me happy to have gained the strength I needed to lift up a spirit in need.

We all have the inner strength to cope with whatever life throws our way, if only we can see it, find it and use it. I wish you luck on this next chapter in your life.


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