Nannying help! - VeggieBoards
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#1 Old 02-02-2011, 01:59 AM
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I've just started nannying for a wonderful family. The baby is happy and affectionate and just a joy to be with. Mum and dad are great - friendly, easy going, mum is very similar to me - in terms of childcare, and very organised, into the organics etc.

Everything has been going great, and mum has been really good giving me positive feedback about how happy they are and how much the baby loves me. She seems really genuinly excited and happy with everything and how we have bonded. It makes me feel really good to hear all this and I want to return this somehow... I'm just not sure how! He has started trying to say my name when I'm not there, and now he cries when I leave.. and I'm just wondering what else I can do - I don't want it to seem like I'm taking over or I'm favoured before mum and dad at all (which is not true at all, but stay at home mum going back to work.. I want her to feel good not tread on any toes!).

I make a point of letting them know how excited he gets when he hears their keys in the door at the end of the day.. and how he occasionally looks at the door waiting for them.
I've also thought about making a mother's day card (from the baby) and adding a note about how much I look up to her parenting (which is true) but this won't be for a few more months.

So mom/mums and dads.. any tips? What else can I do to make sure they have no reason to get jealous? What would make you feel good as a mother/father?
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#2 Old 02-08-2011, 07:32 AM
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Heya! I'm not a mum or dad by any means, but since no one else has replied, I just wanted to say it seems to me like you have no need to be worried! I don't know if it's common for parents to be jealous of a nanny, but they've hired you because they want you there, doing exactly what you're doing

I think it's really kind of you to think of this, but they're probally not even seeing it the same way! Sounds like you're doing great.

Goodluck with everything xx
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#3 Old 02-08-2011, 08:08 AM
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As a parent, I feel the best thing you can do is continue to take excellent care of the baby! Good job!

"Yes! Live! Life's a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death!" Auntie Mame
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#4 Old 02-08-2011, 08:40 AM
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Ahimsa nailed it. We don't have any kids but I do take care of my younger sisters 3 year old daughter and 5 year old son for her during the day since they were both infants.
Wait til the child gets older and says things like "you're the best in the world!" before clinging to your legs or "I missed/love you!" when it's only been a day since you've last seen them.

I have seen the look on my sisters face and in her eyes those moments she realizes how much I care for her children and they for me. I think parents want to see their children grow, experience new things and accept nice people into their world. The crying phase will pass, they grow up so quickly.
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#5 Old 02-08-2011, 10:59 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by *AHIMSA* View Post

As a parent, I feel the best thing you can do is continue to take excellent care of the baby! Good job!

Exactly.

I don't think you should worry about treading on toes unless there's some sign that the parents are unhappy.

Personally, I love hearing things like "He's a joy to be around." That makes me feel good even if I think it's got nothing to do with me (likely).
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#6 Old 02-09-2011, 02:21 AM
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Thank you so much guys I want to do my job well without being too type-A lol.. but that is helpful and reassuring
Elaine - great kids come from great parents so you should be proud of yourself as well as them when they do something sweet!
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#7 Old 02-09-2011, 02:08 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by iceflower View Post

He has started trying to say my name when I'm not there, and now he cries when I leave.. and I'm just wondering what else I can do - I don't want it to seem like I'm taking over or I'm favoured before mum and dad at all (which is not true at all, but stay at home mum going back to work.. I want her to feel good not tread on any toes!)....

So mom/mums and dads.. any tips? What else can I do to make sure they have no reason to get jealous?

It's not your job to protect the parents from their own choices. If they did start to feel that the baby was becoming more bonded to you, because you spent more time with him, were more gentle, or whatever, then they need to look at their own parenting choices. If they have the resources to hire a nanny, they do have choices - like whether to go back to full time work or not. Just do the best job you can caring for the baby and let the parents figure out the relationship they want to have with their own child. If they managed to feel jealous because their baby had a nice relationship with the caretaker they left in charge of the child, that would be on them.

"If you want to know where you would have stood on slavery before the civil war, don't look at where you stand on slavery today, look at where you stand on animal rights." - Paul Watson.

 

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#8 Old 02-09-2011, 02:51 PM
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You sound like a wonderful nanny! Perfect.

And the card idea sounds great too.

Misanthrope seeks misanthrope.
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#9 Old 02-17-2011, 08:46 PM
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It's pretty common for children to cry when a caregiver has to leave, or they leave daycare, etc. I've even had 9-year-olds in my daycare cry because their parents "picked them up too early."

I know it makes you feel a bit odd, but the parents surely appreciate knowing their child/ren is/are in such capable and loving hands!!!
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