What would you do with a son like this? - VeggieBoards
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#1 Old 01-24-2004, 01:01 PM
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My oldest son is 18. Ever since he was in the 3rd grade, he has had trouble with school. Every teacher pretty much said the same thing - he is smart, but lazy. When he was little, we couldn't even figure out what his homework WAS to help him do it. His teachers would say, "he is supposed to have it written in his planner" The trouble was, he didn't have it written. Some teachers gave us SOME assignments, but it was never consistent and we finally quit asking. We were frustrated with our son AND the school.



He tests quite high on CATs etc. (80 - 90%)

Yet, he does not test well on his weekly math, history, English tests etc.



I really do believe that he has a problem. I don't think it is just laziness, yet I believe laziness is part of it.



He has a busy social & internet life. He has lots of friends and a girl friend.

Yet, he is literally flunking out of school. His last reports cards grades were mostly Fs.



So, I told him, "It's time to grow up, buckle down etc..."

I took away many perks (computer time) and cut his social life down to one day on the weekend.



He is to let me know ahead of time if he chooses Saturday or Sunday to socialize. Last night (Friday) our dogs began to bark. (He lives next door in a house provided by my husband's company.) Later, we asked him on the intercom if he had company...he said after a few seconds of hesitation, "Sam (my other son) and Laney (his gf) are over here. She just showed up." (Like it was out of his hands) then he said, "I will ask her to go, if you want me to." (Like "If you think it's important and want me to be rude" sort of thing) He is a bit of a game player I told him, "No need for her to go, but I hope you know that this IS your social day." I later told him not to touch the computer, phone, tv all weekend, due to his sneakiness. He became angry about this and said, "Laney isn't really company...and your punishments aren't going to help me feel motivated..."



Yet, he is a nice guy. I love him dearly. I just can't stand to see him flunking out of school, no job etc. (He has done very well in school for a quarter here or there - A's and B's and was in the gifted classes for a year - so I know that he should be able to pass the classes he is currently taking.

But, he does have organizational problems. When he was a little boy he rarely knew what day of the week it was. In the second grade he had a hard time remembering to grab his lunch off the kitchen table as he went out the door (while his Kindergarten brother had no trouble remembering his)

As they were growing up, I noticed little brother was ahead of big brother in many ways such as this.



I took my son to a psychologist (at his request) when he was 15. He went for a while, nothing improved. I would hate to see him medicated.

He just seems like he has almost no ability to do that which he doesn't want to do, yet he has a lot of energy for fun activities.



When he does chores at home, he is friendly about it, but does everything halfway or "forgets" to do them altogether.



Today I told him, "live by the rules or find another place to live" and I do not feel good about that AT ALL. I don't even think he is capable of living on his own now. I don't want to be mean to him, I want to light a fire under him.

Any ideas??

Thank you.
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#2 Old 01-24-2004, 01:18 PM
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Have you had him tested for ADHD?
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#3 Old 01-24-2004, 01:22 PM
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Hmmmmmmmm....that's tough mushroom. The time to get him intervention as far as adhd treatment and or whatever help he needed would have been k-3rd grade. By now his habits are so well developed that even medication might not make a difference. And of course that long ago, only the most troubled souls got assistance in school.



My question would be what are his plans for college? It might be good for him to live away and attend school. The more he can do for himself the better. Some people simply don't 'grow up' until the absolute necessity to do so arrises. And for those people, others (including well meaning parents) trying to help them out, merely keeps them from doing the growing they very much need to do on their own.



So I guess that's my advice. Encourage him in the direction of college, or if he chooses not to go, encourage him very firmly in the direction of finding work and helping him set up a place of his own. A very good friend of mine had to do this a few years ago when her seventeen year old son simply did something at home that she couldn't have him doing there. She very kindly encouraged him right out the door. He got a very high paying job without any college (he was smart and good at computers), and his own place that he could pay for on his own. It really did a lot for their relationship. He was young, but at the time he needed some tough consequences.



To me it sounds like your son has hit that place of manhood where all the lecturing/talking/punishing you could dish out aren't going to change a thing. Thus...it's time for him to be a man.



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#4 Old 01-24-2004, 01:38 PM
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My first thoughts were ADD. Here's a website explaining he differences and I think he's more or less in the ADD catagory but that's just IMHO!ADD vs. ADHD



I think the website sums up pretty much everything.
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#5 Old 01-24-2004, 02:03 PM
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He really doesn't care. You can't make him care. If you are a praying mom, best get to it, cause the change will have to happen inside him, and basically IMO no pressure you can or will inflict will outweigh his strength of I am not motivated. Do you really want him to leave? Will he go to family counciling with you? What does the school guidance counc. say? It does sound like it could be ADD, but it could also be that school bores him out of his mind. Tell him you will be calling his teachers every Thursday or Friday for a while. If you get good reports his social night will increase 1 night for every continous total good weekly report. Of course the reverse also works. Reward seems to work better than punishment, and waiting till midterm letters or reportcards takes to long to get info back. The change needs to be now, not in four weeks. The reward needs to be instant. I know this sounds like something for younger children, but ADD kids have a very short attention and motivation factor. It worked on our sons.



When he goofs up and he will, put the monkey on his back with, "I am sorry you chose to loose one of your social nights by your choice of behavior. It will take you 3 weeks of good choices to regain it." Always tell him you are doing it because you love him.
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#6 Old 01-24-2004, 02:14 PM
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Has he been tested for learning disabilities? There are a meriad of them that aren't even in the add spectrum. Everyone learns differently and a traditional school environment may not be right for him. He could always drop out, take the GED, and do a couple years at Junior College and see if that is a better learning environment for him. After a couple years of good grades at junior/community college, he could easily apply to a four year college and get in.

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#7 Old 01-24-2004, 04:33 PM
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You also might look into this website, and I reccomend the book. I've used it with great success in my classroom and at home. But it's also supposed to be good for older children.



http://www.difficultchild.com/home.htm



I like life2ks advice. I too think he probably does have a learning disorder...or...



One thing I've learned teaching is that some children aren't just cut out for the 'traditional' classroom environment. That's just how it is. I think at some point we have to realize early enough to be of help, that we need to find alternative learning situations for children who don't do well in a regular classroom. We also have to realize along the way that everyone isn't meant to go to college or to be a doctor,lawyer, etc. There are even very bright people who have no interest in this type of learning. I think for this reason, it's important to find a person's gifts early...and gear their education to prepare them for what they actually WANT to do in life. not that this helps you at all....just something that I've been considering this year.



Which is why I suggested he get out there and experience the world. That may be the best way for him to find out what works for HIM...his passion in life, etc.



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#8 Old 01-24-2004, 04:36 PM
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I had him tested for learning disabilities at 14 and they said that he didn't have any. (I disagree) He performed very well on their tests and they said, "His problem is that he is very bright and bored and needs to go in AP classes."

He was happy and did well in the AP classes for about a quarter...then his grades went to F's again.



I am an atheist, so prayer is not an option for me.



I told him that he could collect his grades every Friday and if he has all C's or better, his weekend is his own. However, I have attempted similar before...



"He could always drop out, take the GED, and do a couple years at Junior College and see if that is a better learning environment for him. After a couple years of good grades at junior/community college, he could easily apply to a four year college and get in."

__________________



That is actually our hope for him...and we wanted him to get C's his last semester in hs to show that college tuition wouldn't just be thrown down the drain.



(Once he takes his GED, he must attend college full time in order to qualify for the lottery scholarship here in NM and his grades in college must be a 2.5 or better - it would be nice if he didn't lose that $)



ADD was talked about as a possibility when he was little but I really didn't want him medicated. They weren't offering anything else.

I saw the problem as more of him not fitting into the school setting - that school was the problem. I still believe that to a large degree. I believe that we are really in the dark ages as far as mental health goes and I am suspicious of the "professionals"

and their magical medicines.
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#9 Old 01-24-2004, 04:45 PM
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"He really doesn't care. You can't make him care."



Acutally, I think he cares very much. He wants to motivate himself, just can't seem to for any extended period of time.



He used to hang with the "cool kids" but doesn't anymore. I know that they see him as a bit of a loser now.
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#10 Old 01-24-2004, 05:59 PM
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Perhaps it's a long-shot, but have you ever heard of Asperger's Syndrome?



Aspies usually have high intelligence, with a special apptitude for certain subjects, but find social interaction difficult. It's a mild form of autism, but it still affects sufferers immensely. It often isn't picked up until late since it's not very well known and not always obvious.



I know a few aspies. They're all very intelligent but did badly at school and find concentration difficult, even when the motivation is there.



Just a thought
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#11 Old 01-24-2004, 06:29 PM
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at 18 years of age, i was extremely uninterested in anything my parents had to say about school. i felt that they just didn't "get it". i thought school was dumb, that i wasn't learning anything, that it was a waste of my time. i was always a kid who got good grades, until i got too smart for my classes. then i just slacked off. all the "discipline" in the world didn't set me straight, it just made me hate my parents more.



finally, half way through grade 12, my mom sat me down and said, "you know, i am sure that you are just as tired of me lecturing you about marks as i am of doing it. i'm finished. you know what you need to do to get back on track and graduate, and you know the consequences if you choose a different path. it's out of my hands. i'm leaving it up to you to make your decisions for yourself. you are basically an adult and i won't be around for much longer to hollar at you about how you are living your life. do what thou wilt." she also made it really clear that if i ever wanted help, she would do what was in her power to make it happen (pay for tutoring, etc.), but that i would have to come to her and ask for it, first.



after that, i did do what i wanted. i continued to skip classes, ignore homework, and barely pass the test adminstered to me. i graduated, barely. it was only after i discovered that my poor grades were going to keep me from following my dream of attending art school that i sheepishly enrolled myself in an extra semester of highschool classes (after graduating) in order to bump my GPA. and for that last semester i worked hard and got the grades i needed to get in to the school i wanted.



there may not be anything "wrong" with your son except that he is testing out all of his new boundaries as an adult. it may just be that you need to sit back and let go of trying to control his behaviour and let him discover the natural consequences of his actions. it will probably be hard to watch and i know it will be even harder to get over the feeling that it is somehow your fault or responsibility if he doesn't do well. but your saying something like, "that's it, i give up. the onus is on you," might be exactly what he is waiting for you to say to him, even if he doesn't realize it yet.



i don't know your son, of course, and your instincts and judgement are going to be clearer because of that. i just know that in my own experience, i had to be given permission **** up a little bit before i knew that my life really is in my own hands.
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#12 Old 01-24-2004, 06:35 PM
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oh, and one other thing, that i think is really important to add. my parents also made it clear that i was always welcome at home, as long as i was attending school (no mention of what grades i was getting, just that i was going) and that if i chose to leave school they'd expect me to work and pay at least some money towards rent and food.



i don't think kicking your son out is the answer, but i do think you have the right idea, and need to lay down some realistic ground rules about what is expected from him if he is going to continue to live under your roof and eat your food.
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#13 Old 01-24-2004, 06:44 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobsy View Post

Perhaps it's a long-shot, but have you ever heard of Asperger's Syndrome?



Aspies usually have high intelligence, with a special apptitude for certain subjects, but find social interaction difficult. It's a mild form of autism, but it still affects sufferers immensely. It often isn't picked up until late since it's not very well known and not always obvious.



I know a few aspies. They're all very intelligent but did badly at school and find concentration difficult, even when the motivation is there.



Just a thought



My cousin's son has this, but mushroom's son sounds much too social to fit the diagnosis.



Although he may have a learning disability or ADD, I agree with what some other people have said about traditional school not being for everyone. When I was in middle school and high school I had similar problems motivating myself, especially when it was a subject I wasn't naturally good at or had no interest in. Although I don't have a learning disability, I was just unable to study--I would just space out. So my high school grades were very erratic. Sometimes I'd get all As and Bs, and other times I'd get all Cs or worse. (I remember one report card in 11th grade with four D pluses.) Sometimes I was in AP classes, but I would then fail some and go back to regular classes. Luckily, I did well enough to go to a small liberal arts college with very few requirements. Suddenly I was doing great academically because I could take only things I was really interested in. My freshman year I got almost all As and was able to transfer to a really pretigious college (also with very few requirements so I could take what I wanted). I did great and went on to get two graduate degrees in what I loved to do (fiction writing). I am currently a college English teacher. So, I guess the moral of the story is not to give up hope. It sounds like he's an intelligent, nice person, but is just currently unfocused and, like me, has a hard time motivating himself to do things he really doesn't care about. What exactly is he interested in? What does he like to do? If you can identify something he's really interested in you may be able to motivate him toward a career goal that he can get excited about.
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#14 Old 01-24-2004, 07:11 PM
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My younger brother was like this all through school. He didn't get good grades, didn't pay attention, until...he found computers. That was his love, he was briliant with them and now works as a manager in a tech support role. In highschool he still did terrible in other classes but took college level computer classes and aced them. He was a stubborn little guy all his life, he wouldn't do anything unless he wanted to no matter if you gave him negative or positive reinforcement. I think for at least a whole year he ate only strawberry yogurt and pb and j's. He would eat them for every single meal.



Guess my point is, he might be just fine. It could be he hasn't found his "passion" yet. Some very smart people are like that. It's still good not to write it off but maybe don't worry too much and I definitely wouldn't go towards meds unless it's really serious. You know, if he's really smart he might just be bored in school. A lot of what grades reflect is remembering and knowing specific information, not ability. That may be why he tests well on the CAT but not on other stuff. Unfortunately the public school system is not really tailored to motivate or teach everyone.
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#15 Old 01-24-2004, 07:30 PM
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"What exactly is he interested in? What does he like to do?"



Socialize with friends, read, listen to music & see movies. He does like to draw, but he isn't particularly talented. He is funny, but I don't see him making his living that way...



He is quite patient & understanding - and forgiving of other's faults - never holds a grudge. I could see him being a good teacher, IF he could get through school himself, that is. But, I wonder if he would perpetually lose his student's papers?!



Kreeli, I understand "phases" but, this has been him since the third grade. As soon as he was asked to perform, basically.



Thanks for your thoughts/advice everyone!
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#16 Old 01-24-2004, 07:55 PM
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ha. Sounds EXACTLY like me kind of, or like me awhile ago. I'm 17. Teachers just told my parents I was lazy, always seemed like more than that, though. I have a mild form of ADD I believe, I cant concentrate on one thing for long. Anyways, I take Strattera, it seems to work for me and the side effects are minimal. Whoa, actually he sounds exactly like I do. I guess people expected me to be some kind of trouble maker because I didnt do good in school, im not though, I'm a good kid, I just dont see the point in school. I've always struggled, but lately I've been doing good.
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#17 Old 01-24-2004, 10:03 PM
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One thing I'm going to say on this subject is that grounding a child at 18 who is no longer a child is ridiculus. Yes its your rules, but he could easily walk out and do as he pleases. Grounding someone from something when your younger is an effective way of achieving classical conditioning, but at 18 he will be set in his ways and taking away everything will probably do no good.
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#18 Old 01-24-2004, 10:42 PM
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I agree with karma girl - maybe he's just bored.



Not everyone thinks that getting A's in school and going to college and landing a profitable career is exciting or rewarding. He likely doesn't enjoy school and doesn't see a point in it - some people ascribe to the theory that "if it doesn't make me happy it isn't worth doing."



Maybe he's happy with his life the way it is. Maybe in a year or two, he gets his own apartment, gets a job working as a clerk in a store or something, pays his bills on time, respects laws, and lounges around being happy.

Quote:
Kreeli, I understand "phases" but, this has been him since the third grade. As soon as he was asked to perform, basically

Then maybe you should try to accept who his is and nurture his strengths (like his compassion) rather than trying to change him.



As long as he is happy and living life according to what makes HIM enjoy it, I don't see a problem. The problem that I DO see is that you feel he's not living up to your expectations. Is that his problem or yours? hmmm...







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#19 Old 01-24-2004, 11:00 PM
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"One thing I'm going to say on this subject is that grounding a child at 18 who is no longer a child is ridiculus. Yes its your rules, but he could easily walk out and do as he pleases. Grounding someone from something when your younger is an effective way of achieving classical conditioning, but at 18 he will be set in his ways and taking away everything will probably do no good."



I wouldn't say that I have grounded him...I have said, "If you want to live here, you must do such and such."



He has had very few rules over the past year and he has had a lot of fun, but he sure didn't apply himself in school. So, now we have decided to try the opposite approach.

Hopefully, he will decide freedom is worth some effort.



Of course I am still open to other suggestions...however, I just "caught" him doing an English paper.
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#20 Old 01-24-2004, 11:05 PM
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"As long as he is happy and living life according to what makes HIM enjoy it, I don't see a problem. The problem that I DO see is that you feel he's not living up to your expectations. Is that his problem or yours? hmmm..."



Personally, I don't care what he does to take care of himself. But, as it is he expects others to take care of him. It's hard to get him to take his dishes to the sink!
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#21 Old 01-25-2004, 02:07 AM
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I think your son may be an artistic personsonality, and is now floundering because he has not been given an opportunity to discover and develop his talents.

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#22 Old 01-25-2004, 12:24 PM
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"My cousin's son has this, but mushroom's son sounds much too social to fit the diagnosis. "



You may be right. However, often aspies get married, have kids, and hold down a regular job (often in computers or some creative pursuit) before they even realise that the way they view the world is the symptom of a disorder. Most aspies want to fit in and have friends, but find it difficult to read social cues so come across as eccentric or downright odd. Some can bluff it pretty well Some you'd never even know were different.



Like I said, it's a long shot, but I currently live in a house full of aspies (2 diagnosed, 3 self-diagnosed) and know many more, and sometimes I think the whole world is just like us



Best of luck with your son, mushroom
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#23 Old 01-25-2004, 12:34 PM
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Heres my two cents for what it's worth.



What happened in the past is the past, and you can't change it and shouldn't dwell on it!

He's a big boy now, let him find his "own" path!

Give him as much love as you can so the only bad thing he can say about you is that, 'my parents love me too much', see that won't cut it for any excuses.
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#24 Old 01-25-2004, 09:30 PM
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Mushroom you are describing my son's friend. He is just like your boy. You have chronicled his history of disinterest from his very early school days--forgetting important things (lunch, homework, etc...), disorganized, unable to finish a task or stay on task, unable to concentrate on school work, poor grades, an inability to improve even though he'd like to, intellegent (high percentiles in standardized tests), and very social. I'm not a guidance counselor but I am a teacher with nearly 30 years experience and I'd bet my next month's paycheque that you're son is suffering from some form of Attention Deficit Disorder. My friend's son was exactly like your boy and wasn't diagnosed until he was 18 years old. He had friends and girlfriend and was liked but he couldn't succeed academically, although he tested average and above average in standardized tests, because he just couldn't stay tuned in. He was prescribed medication and suddenly he was able to attend to tasks at home and school. His grades went up and he actually passed high school which took him an extra year and would probably taken him longer if he had not had the proper medication. I know the controversy rages over medication but you could give him back his life with proper treatment. I urge you to find someone to test him for this disorder before his life is ruined. My friend's son only takes the medication when he needs to concentrate on school or other things of importance. He usually doesn't take it during holidays, ect. This is so uncanny--the symptoms are identical.



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#25 Old 01-25-2004, 09:38 PM
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my brother had problems in school for a bit because he wasn't being challenged. he was getting poor grades but is actually very smart. they figured out he was ahead of the class and just couldn't be bothered with doing the lessons cause it was so easy it was boring.

it got better as the classes got harder, his grades went up while everyone else was struggling, and in college he was getting 90's without ever buying the text books. he dropped out though, likely for the same reasons, it turned out to be boring so he decided it wasn't the program he wanted to be taking. he actually tried 3 different programs



see if you can set your son up for an aptitude test to see where his strengths and weaknesses are and what kind of career he'd be good at, it might help you both get an idea of where his goals should be.

meanwhile maybe it'd help to set goals for right now. daily and weekly and monthly goals. some kind of challenge.

bet him $50 he can't get head of the class this semester

I'm singin' here to get rid of fear
Hope it disappears right here with the rain
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Meaningless to pray, so just goin' on my way
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#26 Old 01-25-2004, 10:00 PM
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Ok it's kinda scary how much like me he sounds.
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#27 Old 01-26-2004, 08:38 AM
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i don't know about you, but i think that ADD is actually the symptoms of our next evolution--Indigo Children--and "traditional" schooling doesn't work for them.



I don't know if i'm one of these kids or not (i certainly don't have ADD), but i was ALWAYS bored in school. The only difference is that i was able to teach myself--i loved to learn, read, and so on. i would do assingments while in class (because i wanted to get good grades and not worry about school), so that i could do whatever i wanted as soon as i was free (usually spiritual-religious stuff and physical activities).



There is a lot of information about there about these sorts of kids. Highly social, very smart, totally uninterested in traditional education. In fact, it juts doesn't "click" for them. There are other ways to learn, and perhaps those avenues should be explored.
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#28 Old 01-26-2004, 10:37 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mushroom View Post

"What exactly is he interested in? What does he like to do?"



Socialize with friends, read, listen to music & see movies. He does like to draw, but he isn't particularly talented. He is funny, but I don't see him making his living that way...



He is quite patient & understanding - and forgiving of other's faults - never holds a grudge. I could see him being a good teacher, IF he could get through school himself, that is. But, I wonder if he would perpetually lose his student's papers?!



Kreeli, I understand "phases" but, this has been him since the third grade. As soon as he was asked to perform, basically.



Thanks for your thoughts/advice everyone!

I hate to say this, but your son is me. I could quote every one of my k-12 progress reports, but I will summarize. " Nando is a wonderful young man, polite and respectful. He is very intelligent and has proven himself on numerous occasions. He could be an honor student if he applied himself to his studies like he did for _______ (scholastic activity) and to __________ (sport). His current average of 66-72 does not represent his true ability, on several test he has gotten the highest grades and a test average of 92%. He just does not doe his home work, and does not apply himself every day."

That was the story of my life until I was a sophomore in college. I dropped out. I dropped of college because I did not know what to do with my life; no major was of interest. My mother and father went ballistic. You see I joined the Navy. Over Thanks Giving. I joined under the guise of waiting until I knew what I wanted to be when I grew up. Well after serving two years I knew I did not want to be in the Navy. I returned home, enrolled in college again, a new program. A program that I found interesting. I graduated, and worked for a small accounting firm, and I am to this day a CPA. Only now I work from home, and have 4 accounts. I am a stay at home dad and I could not be happier. I learned of this site from a thread on an at home dad web site.



I dont believe in ADD or any of those nonsense illnesses, no child needs to drugged because they are active, they need more activity, and under the current public school system I do not see any changes. I do not blame my parents, teachers, or schools for my lack of focus, the program was the best it could be and I did what interested me. I still do to this day; my wife calls me the hobby guy, because I have had so many hobbies. That is the key I believe, let him find his way. Look at his interests, and encourage him to follow those interests, don't let him follow his friends off to a college where they dont have programs that interest him. He may wind up singing anchors away, and believe me...its not that good of a song. Unless that is his thing. Wanting is the key, and until he wants to be the man he is capable of becoming, he will stay boy. Makes sense I hope. He sounds well grounded from your posts, and a fine young man. I would say try the opposite of what you are doing now. Let him run his own life, let him fail, fall crash down in to the chasm that is the hole. Then help him out of the hole. He is young and indestructible as I remember from my youth. I would say, make no mention of college...or careers. When he has missed the dead lines, he will have to face peer group with I did not apply, or I have not been accepted. He will come around, but I think it is all up to him. You just have to wait for him. Hard as that will be I think from my experiences I can say it worked. Gosh I hope this helps.
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#29 Old 01-26-2004, 11:58 AM
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*sigh* This reminds me of my little sister. She just flunked most of her first quarter classes in college -- and is currently retaking them all in her second quarter. She is highly intelligent. No notable social problems. This has been an issue with her since she was in kindergarten ... we've been through the "bored" theory, the ADD theory, and more.



Like Zoebird, I tended to "get my work over with" so that I could pursue other interests. Different paths ... Maria just hasn't approached it this way. I did do fairly poorly in high school, though -- a 'B' average. I returned to an 'A' average in university.



I'm at a loss as to what advice to give (and, generally, I do have a lot of influence with her). I don't think it helps at ALL that my parents rub it in about my college GPA. That can only make her feel less motivated, and more negative about her potential.
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#30 Old 01-26-2004, 12:46 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nando View Post




I dont believe in ADD or any of those nonsense illnesses.



I am glad you are not my son's teacher. I would argue you until I am blue in the face, but this really isn't the place to get into this debate.



I too think that he will probably find his way eventually, but don't let him walk all over you.I doubt there is much you can do about the grades now except let him know that if he expects to live in your house, he can't flunk out of school(which it sounds like you have told him to some degree). Let him know that now that he is an adult, things are expected of him. You said you have trouble getting him to take his dishes to the sink. Make him take them, make him do things himself(laundry or whatever), don't do everything for him. And if it doesn't get done, let him know that he is the one responsible for it not getting done. This is probably all stuff you have done or thought about already. I myself have tried a modified version for my 10 year old with ADD. I have trouble sometimes implementing it because it seems that just doing things myself is easier than the fight to get him to do something. At any rate, good luck and I hope all go well in the future.
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