Adventures in Online Dating - VeggieBoards
Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#1 Old 03-28-2010, 11:24 AM
Veggie Regular
 
beatricious's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 1,904
I've recently re-entered the fray of online dating (somewhat against my better judgment) and I thought this would be a fun thread to share stories - both of the horror and success variety - and tips, frustrations, etc. Did you meet your current spouse/long-term partner online? Did you meet your current stalker online? Did you just get a totally creepy message from a pervy weirdo? Post it here.



The inspiration for this thread: I got a message this morning from someone asking me if I wanted to "become his sister." When I asked him what that meant, he said that he wanted "this special sort of relationship where it could be possible to be brother and sister even though we are obviously not blood related." Uhhhh yeah. Then he got pretty ticked off when I told him I already had two brothers and was not interested. Sigh.
beatricious is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
#2 Old 03-28-2010, 11:28 AM
Veggie Regular
 
RadioGirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 209
lmao I think you will definitely come across the weirdos, but I don't think it's all bad.



A friend of mine met a girl on Plentyoffish.com I don't know anything about it lol but they are both wicked people. They now have a 7 month old baby and are planning their wedding. Cuuuuute!
RadioGirl is offline  
#3 Old 03-28-2010, 01:08 PM
Newbie
 
peachykeen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 35
My brother met his fiance off of yahoo personals. I've done online dating before after getting out of a long-term relationship this past summer. I did match.com and dated one guy for a few months over the summer, but I got tired of being in a "nonrelationship" as I like to call it. We basically did everything a couple would do, including date exclusively, but he did not like labels and could not even admit that we were exclusive. Dating these days seems like a crap shoot no matter how you meet the person! I am thinking of trying online dating again, but you do run the risk of being contacted by a lot of weirdos, or people who are still attached to their ex
peachykeen is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
#4 Old 03-28-2010, 02:04 PM
Veggie Regular
 
Pirate Ferret's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: London
Posts: 2,950
I once joined plentyoffish for a morale boost and to see whether i'd get any interest. I never intended to meet anyone from it. I got a LOT of attention, and was chatting to one guy for a few nights.

then he came online and said he saw me walking down the road, described what i was wearing, where i was, what bag i had, who was with... i was a bit freaked out!



I do know a lot of people who have had success with online dating though. I hear you have to be prepared to go on a LOT of dates, and not expect to meet mr right too quickly
Pirate Ferret is offline  
#5 Old 03-28-2010, 03:36 PM
Banned
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 7,160
I've tried it a few times but never had much success. I find that chemistry IRL is so different from online that you're better off meeting quickly instead of spending ages chatting, but I do much better talking online than IRL with people I don't know well so... online dating doesn't work so well for me.



Good luck though, keep us updated!
Earthling is offline  
#6 Old 03-28-2010, 04:08 PM
Veggie Regular
 
Semicharmed's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 3,801
The first person I met from online was not on purpose. I had no intention of meeting this guy, none whatsoever. I wasn't totally averse to meeting him, I just didn't really WANT to. But he knew I was going to NYU... So on move-in day, he decided (without telling me) it was time we meet. NYU has some pretty nifty security for its students. We had PALM SCANNERS to enter the dorm, ffs. No lie. BUT, on move-in day? Security is lax because everyone is in and out, with parents and friends helping them move. So this guy spun some story, found out my dorm, floor and room number, and waltzed right on in. My last line of defense was still intact (though I didn't know at the time I needed it!) because my door was locked. So, that morning, he knocked on our door. I called out "Who is it?" and a voice answered, "God." My roommate, because she's a moron, felt that was adequate identification, and opened the door. And in walked Tom.



It was interesting, to say the least.
Semicharmed is offline  
#7 Old 03-28-2010, 05:38 PM
Veggie Regular
 
Farmrush's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 375
I have tried it, but nobody ever messaged me and when I messaged them nobody ever replied. lol.
Farmrush is offline  
#8 Old 03-28-2010, 07:33 PM
Veggie Regular
 
Irizary's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 8,743
On-line dating is not for me. When I think about most of the people I've been with or have been most attracted to, they wouldn't have passed the list of impersonal qualifications that you have to fill out, nor would I have found them attractive just based on a picture. At least for me, when I know someone they become more attractive, and all the qualities that might seem unattractive to me on paper, are fine.



Like, I wouldn't fill out that I'm looking for someone short (5'6"), religious...a picture showing eyes that initially strike me as kind of serial-killer-like...and a number of other qualities that I wouldn't normally prefer...but I've definitely been attracted in person to someone like this, in whom I found a lot of wonderful qualities - although I would have looked past him on a dating site.

"If you want to know where you would have stood on slavery before the civil war, don't look at where you stand on slavery today, look at where you stand on animal rights." - Paul Watson.

 

Every animal you eat
was running for her life

Irizary is offline  
#9 Old 03-28-2010, 08:11 PM
Newbie
 
peachykeen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 35
Quote:
Originally Posted by Farmrush View Post

I have tried it, but nobody ever messaged me and when I messaged them nobody ever replied. lol.



Aww I'm sorry to hear that Farmrush, sometimes people put up profiles but don't check them. Also, some of us girls go on there just to see how many messages we'd get, without any intention of ever replying.



Has anyone tried veggieconnections?
peachykeen is offline  
#10 Old 03-29-2010, 12:43 AM
Administrator
 
Michael's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2001
Posts: 19,873
I tried it and can honestly say I will never try it again!

VeggieBoards Alumni Facebook Group

If you're an old time VB'er stop by and say hi!


To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Michael is offline  
#11 Old 03-29-2010, 05:14 AM
Veggie Regular
 
beatricious's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 1,904
Quote:
Originally Posted by Michael View Post

I tried it and can honestly say I will never try it again!



What happened?



Quote:
Has anyone tried veggieconnections?



I tried it and didn't like it. There just aren't very many people who use it, and those who do tended to be quite a bit older than me. But maybe it would work better for someone in a different age bracket (I'm 23). FWIW, I've been encountering a fair few vegetarians through OK Cupid.
beatricious is offline  
#12 Old 03-29-2010, 06:07 AM
Administrator
 
Michael's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2001
Posts: 19,873
I got married! =P





Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

VeggieBoards Alumni Facebook Group

If you're an old time VB'er stop by and say hi!


To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Michael is offline  
#13 Old 03-29-2010, 06:09 AM
Veggie Regular
 
beatricious's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 1,904
Quote:
Originally Posted by Michael View Post

I got married! =P





Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk



Well, that's a pretty good reason!
beatricious is offline  
#14 Old 03-29-2010, 07:28 AM
Beginner
 
Pegasass's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 148
Quote:
Originally Posted by Farmrush View Post

I have tried it, but nobody ever messaged me and when I messaged them nobody ever replied. lol.



I would have replied....:-)
Pegasass is offline  
#15 Old 03-29-2010, 08:16 AM
Veggie Regular
 
amhappy1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 1,262
I met my boyfriend on Plentyoffish.com I work around lots of men but I'm shy and it's easier to approach people online. I met four men. They were all relatively nice but nothing clicked. I was about to give up when someone who sounded promising messaged me. Once I found out that he also had a rescued poodle I had to meet him. We've been together almost six months.
amhappy1 is offline  
#16 Old 03-29-2010, 08:27 AM
Veggie Regular
 
Christine2809's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Indianapolis, IN
Posts: 261
I was on plentyoffish for a while. It was okay. I didn't join it expecting to get a long term relationship out of it or anything, I was just seeing what was out there. (I got out of a long term relationship a couple of weeks before I joined). I talked to some people and met a few, but nothing special happened, which is okay with me. There were some creepers for sure, but I guess that's to be expected! I ended up closing my account because I felt obligated to reply to everyone, even if it was to say I wasn't interested. It just took up too much time.



My friend joined before me, and that's how I found out about it. She met a guy on there that ended up being her boyfriend for a while, but that didn't really last long.



Ehh, definitely something to do. It kept me entertained for a while.
Christine2809 is offline  
#17 Old 03-29-2010, 08:42 AM
Newbie
 
peachykeen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 35
Quote:
Originally Posted by beatricious View Post

What happened?







I tried it and didn't like it. There just aren't very many people who use it, and those who do tended to be quite a bit older than me. But maybe it would work better for someone in a different age bracket (I'm 23). FWIW, I've been encountering a fair few vegetarians through OK Cupid.



Yeah, I signed up for the free profile just to see who is on. There are hardly any guys in the 23-35 age range on there, in my area at least. A lot of old profiles on that site too. Oh well
peachykeen is offline  
#18 Old 03-29-2010, 09:01 AM
Veggie Regular
 
Alison182's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 250
Met my first boyfriend online (on myspace...so not a dating site)...but he lived like 2 hours away, and we were too young to be travelling up and down to each other all the time. And we were both mega shy. Still talk though.
Alison182 is offline  
#19 Old 03-29-2010, 09:06 AM
Super Moderator
 
danakscully64's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 34,591
I met my guy on MySpace I wasn't looking for someone, but I signed up on Jan 1st of 2005 and did a search of people in my age group (18-20) who lived within 10 miles of my zip code. I wanted to see if I could find people from high school and people I went to elementary school with (I had moved in 5th grade, lost touch with almost everyone). He was 19 and lived 9 miles away. Like I said, I wasn't looking for anyone, I saw his picture on the first page of hits, and immediately thought he was cute. I clicked on his profile and we had the same tv show in common (we both loved ER at the time). His AIM SN was on his page and he was online. I sent him a message and sparks flew immediately. I thought our first date was just us hanging out as friends More than 5 years later, we're still going strong and might be getting married in a year or so.



My sister also met her hubby on MySpace, 9 months after I met my guy. Shortly after, she got pregnant and announced their engagement. She delivered their 2nd child 2 days ago. Sadly, they've been having issues, but hopefully they can work it out.



If things didn't work out with my guy and I, I would consider online dating. My sister found a great, hot guy on Yahoo Personals, but it didn't work out because she didn't like the idea of having 5 kids between them (she has 1, he has 4). He didn't want anymore kids either, she did.
danakscully64 is offline  
#20 Old 03-29-2010, 09:08 AM
Super Moderator
 
danakscully64's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 34,591
Oh, I also had an online boyfriend for many months back when I was 15. We're still friends, I think we met in an X-Files chat room. We used to talk on the phone and send each other gifts.
danakscully64 is offline  
#21 Old 03-29-2010, 10:00 AM
Veggie Regular
 
Fromper's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Chicago, IL, USA
Posts: 7,014
I've tried a few online personals sites here and there. I've had a few first dates, but nothing serious. No total wackos, though, so nothing extremely bad to report.



I had one woman contact me on a personals site, because we're both vegetarian and Jewish, so she figured we must have a lot in common. But I'm an atheist of Jewish heritage, while she's very religious and is vegetarian only because it's an easy way to keep a Kosher kitchen, but apparently she eats Kosher meat at restaurants sometimes. So much for both being veg and Jewish - she's not really veg, and I'm not really Jewish! I'm not picky about only dating veg*ns, but she was looking for someone religious, so it was obvious on the first date that we had very different world views and didn't really click.



Ever since then, I've stopped listing myself as Jewish on personals sites. Now, I just pick the atheist/agnostic/not religious option, however it's worded on each site.



One other thing, and this isn't just for online dating, but am I the only one who makes a point of bringing up the two "taboo" subjects of religion and politics on every first date? In casual conversations with people, I try to avoid those subjects. But in dating, if a woman's views in those two areas are too different from mine, then we just aren't compatible, and I'd like to know it immediately. So I make a point of bringing up those subjects on the first date every time.



--Fromper

Fromper is offline  
#22 Old 03-29-2010, 10:48 AM
Veggie Regular
 
amhappy1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 1,262
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fromper View Post




One other thing, and this isn't just for online dating, but am I the only one who makes a point of bringing up the two "taboo" subjects of religion and politics on every first date? In casual conversations with people, I try to avoid those subjects. But in dating, if a woman's views in those two areas are too different from mine, then we just aren't compatible, and I'd like to know it immediately. So I make a point of bringing up those subjects on the first date every time.



--Fromper




I do it too. I can handle dating an omni. Most people are omnis. I need to know that there are other areas that we can agree on or it's not going to work.
amhappy1 is offline  
#23 Old 03-30-2010, 02:23 AM
Veggie Regular
 
das_nut's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Posts: 8,130
So far, this thread disappoints.



I was hoping for some crazy wild stories.
das_nut is offline  
#24 Old 03-30-2010, 09:36 AM
Veggie Regular
 
beatricious's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 1,904
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fromper View Post

One other thing, and this isn't just for online dating, but am I the only one who makes a point of bringing up the two "taboo" subjects of religion and politics on every first date? In casual conversations with people, I try to avoid those subjects. But in dating, if a woman's views in those two areas are too different from mine, then we just aren't compatible, and I'd like to know it immediately. So I make a point of bringing up those subjects on the first date every time.



--Fromper




I try to put some things in my profile that act as a sort of litmus test, to weed out people I just wouldn't get along with in real life. I always make sure to say that I'm vegan (I don't mind dating someone who isn't, but I'm not interested in anyone who thinks veganism is a dealbreaker), and I make it pretty clear that I'm a feminist. I don't really want a universally appealing dating profile, I want my profile to appeal to the kind of people I find appealing. Plus I find it limits the useless "hey beautiful do u have msn?" messages I might otherwise get.



Quote:
So far, this thread disappoints.



I was hoping for some crazy wild stories.



Yes, me too...I'm sure they will come. In the meantime, you should check out datewrecks.com - it's a really funny blog written by a woman documenting her experiences with online dating. Or whywomenhatemen.blogspot.com.
beatricious is offline  
#25 Old 03-30-2010, 11:28 AM
Newbie
 
SalsaQueen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 43
I'm a big fan of online dating. Had a few guys that lasted about a month, found a great guy who I was with 4 months before I moved across the country, and now have been with my man who I found on plantyoffish for 8 months now.



Met this one guy, and in our first Yahoo IM conversation, he asks me on a date to the fair. With his mom and her boyfriend. Never talked to him again after that.



One guy I kept around for a month. He lived like an hour away, but he'd come stay with me on weekends. All he wanted to do was watch movies. And he was sooooo embarassing to be with in public. It was around Halloween, and I remember spending half an hour in the costume aisle at Walmart while he tried on masks and took pics of himself on his phone. We went to dinner and he interrupts the couple next to us to ask if they were on their first date because the guy had asked the girl what kind of wine she liked. We went to Chipotle - his first time there - and he kept sticking his arm over the plastic food guard and pointing at food asking what it was...



Other guy that was around a month was great, I really liked him, until he started disappearing....I called him out on it and he said he wasn't ready for a relationship. We hadn't even discussed being serious. Whatever.



The last one that lasted a month had a kid (I don't like kids, but decided to give a guy with a kid a chance). We had ONE date alone. Every time after that, whether he came over or we went somewhere, kid was with us. It's like he didn't know what a babysitter was. She broke my things. He was clingy and creepy. Said he loved me after knowing me 3 days. After 2 weeks he talked about us moving to Colorado together. He would get upset when I wanted him to leave at night so I could go to sleep. He always wanted to sit around and watched movies. I was new in town, and he drove me around and showed me all the places he wanted to take me. Never went to any of them. Tried to get rid of him twice, he cried and asked for me to just give him a chance. Fortunately he was in Colorado for work 2 weeks of that time. Unfortunately, he got me a job where he works and I have to see the mistake I made on a daily basis...



Met my man back in July. Had drinks at a microbrewery, then they closed like 2 hours later so we went to a bar. It was a weekday, and I'd been up since 5:30 in the morning. He kept telling stories. I was hungry. So I was kinda irritated. FINALLY we left and I asked where a Taco Bell was. he told me and then he got in his car and left. I don't even remember if he said bye. I don't think he did. I couldn't find it, and texted him later and told him. We ended up going on a second date the next day. Found out later he had thought I wasn't interested in him because of the way I was acting, and he had no intention of talking to me again, but then I texted him.... So even though the first date didn't go the best, he's been mine for 8 months now.
SalsaQueen is offline  
#26 Old 03-30-2010, 11:37 AM
Newbie
 
GhostUser's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 0
Quote:
Originally Posted by SalsaQueen View Post

And he was sooooo embarassing to be with in public. It was around Halloween, and I remember spending half an hour in the costume aisle at Walmart while he tried on masks and took pics of himself on his phone.



GhostUser is offline  
#27 Old 03-30-2010, 12:05 PM
Veggie Regular
 
Semicharmed's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 3,801
Quote:
Originally Posted by SalsaQueen View Post

And he was sooooo embarassing to be with in public.



The guy who came to my door and introduced himself as God was too. Well, more "harassing" than he was "embarrassing" I suppose. Among other things, he smacked my ass so hard I bruised while we were walking around The Village and then, while we were in Penn Station, he had me paged by my full name and grabbed my boob specifically so I'd scream at the top of my lungs.



Cool guy.
Semicharmed is offline  
#28 Old 03-30-2010, 12:07 PM
Veggie Regular
 
unovegan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 8,022
Quote:
Originally Posted by Semicharmed View Post

The guy who came to my door and introduced himself as God was too. Well, more "harassing" than he was "embarrassing" I suppose. Among other things, he smacked my ass so hard I bruised while we were walking around The Village and then, while we were in Penn Station, he had me paged by my full name and grabbed my boob specifically so I'd scream at the top of my lungs.



Cool guy.



I really hope you knew God. otherwise, police intervention might've been handy.

The Big Bad.
unovegan is offline  
#29 Old 03-30-2010, 12:10 PM
Veggie Regular
 
Semicharmed's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 3,801
Quote:
Originally Posted by unovegan View Post

I really hope you knew God. otherwise, police intervention might've been handy.



He is not God. I'm not even convinced he's human.



He's also the same guy who took me and my roommate to a Yankees game once and informed the woman sitting in front of us that we (my roommate and I) were from Boston.



That went well.
Semicharmed is offline  
#30 Old 03-30-2010, 12:12 PM
Veggie Regular
 
unovegan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 8,022
Quote:
Originally Posted by Semicharmed View Post

He is not God. I'm not even convinced he's human.



He's also the same guy who took me and my roommate to a Yankees game once and informed the woman sitting in front of us that we (my roommate and I) were from Boston.



That went well.



The fact that this is a friend of yours doesn't even add insight into why you are like you are. not even.

The Big Bad.
unovegan is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the VeggieBoards forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in


Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off