Starting Over - VeggieBoards
Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 Old 02-09-2010, 07:41 AM
Veggie Regular
 
Puca's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 240
So I am moving house in just over a month and I am thinking about starting my whole life over with this move (apart from my job)...



I've had pretty much a horrible year and have been betrayed and seriously manipulated, as well as had a horrible experience with a family member. My brother went crazy the other night when he came to visit and I was frightened to let him in the flat (he ran off and was sending nasty texts)...



This really shocked me in to who I allow in to my life. Emotionally and sometimes physically aggressive people.



When I move, I am changing my phone number so ex-housemates, my brother and other people can't contact me. I'll be changing most Email addresses and have already left Facebook.



I'll probably only be in touch with a handful of people (one or two close friends) when I've moved and my Mum. I don't really think many people have been worth my time and want to cut off any association with other nasty individuals. I also want to just forget the past three years, as if they ever happened.



I'm just wondering if anybody else has started over and how they found it.



I don't want anything to do with the majority of people in my life right now... I want to just begin a new life, go back to studies and be allowed to be me.
Puca is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
#2 Old 02-09-2010, 03:09 PM
Newbie
 
kracaus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 42
Change is always hard at first. Most of my significant changes in my life, (outlook, choices to be happy, stop eating carcasses ect.)occurred when I literally moved across the globe.(USA to Korea with a follow up to UK). Nothing like international phone charges to discourage calling and receiving calls. So for me it was really an easy process because of the limited amount of people I knew/know at each place, allowing for less of the this is who you were/don't want to be anymore. This helped because all of the new people only knew the new me and when I stumbled back to the old me, they thought it was weird and something was wrong since I was acting out of character from their view point. The thing that will make such a huge change difficult especially if the old people are close by is you will at times get lonely until you re-establish your friend/social network with new positive awesome people. Wow I feel like I just keep rambling on.
kracaus is offline  
#3 Old 02-09-2010, 03:11 PM
Veggie Regular
 
Kellye's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 3,814
Quote:
I'm just wondering if anybody else has started over and how they found it.



I don't want anything to do with the majority of people in my life right now... I want to just begin a new life, go back to studies and be allowed to be me.



^ I've done this. It's fantastic. Embrace it.



It'll be rough putting yourself out there without an established social network, but try joining some clubs (like on Meetup.com) or other community activities. That way you can meet new people who are not giant douchebags and you won't be so lonely.
Kellye is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
#4 Old 02-09-2010, 03:41 PM
mlp
Banned
 
mlp's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 8,995
I think it's terrific. Sometimes one falls into unhealthy relationship patterns without even realizing it. I've made one break of the sort you're describing, and it was well worth it.
mlp is offline  
#5 Old 02-19-2010, 02:37 PM
Newbie
 
3Beans's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 52
I've done this twice! lol.



The first when I left home to rid myself of awful friends and escape my father.. that was great! My life really went on track after that



Then the second time was just cutting myself off from my father for a whole year! Man, what a great year. I stupidly made a mense with him because my mother phoned me, sobbing, saying that he was losing his mind and doing weird things from the "Heartbreak"! Now I realise that was a manipulative tool she used on me because she can't handle the man on her own!!!! grrr... anyway, I am quite distant from him even when he's around, which is almost like still being on vacation!



So good on you! I hope things start going better for you, it sounds like you're taking charge of your own life

xx J
3Beans is offline  
#6 Old 02-21-2010, 01:52 PM
Veggie Regular
 
SuicideBlonde's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 4,337
I am so wanting to do thing. I am craving it. I just need the finances to be able to do it. Seems quite exciting.





I have not moved from my town but I have started almost fresh with totally new people just moving across town. A few of my old friends I ran into years later said they heard I moved to far away places.

"Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring."
 Marilyn Monroe
SuicideBlonde is offline  
#7 Old 02-21-2010, 05:28 PM
Beginner
 
PlantsPlease's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 119
I've sometimes felt like I've wanted to do that, but usually it was just one or two people really bugging me, even if it seemed at the time that the whole world was against me. And, fortunately, I haven't had a hard time shaking people off (except for being a bit hard emotionally, perhaps).



Good luck!
PlantsPlease is offline  
#8 Old 02-22-2010, 11:09 AM
Veggie Regular
 
Alison182's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 250
I'd love to do this myself!



But there's just that small few friends I'd really really miss...and my pets too!

Maybe when I'm older, have more money, I might do this. I'd love the freedom of it.
Alison182 is offline  
#9 Old 02-22-2010, 05:18 PM
Veggie Regular
 
fadeaway1289's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 10,324
I moved out of my home state when I was in my early 20s. It was seriously the best thing I could have ever done for myself mentally and emotionally. I started a whole new life, made new friends, new job, new relationship, etc.
fadeaway1289 is offline  
#10 Old 02-28-2010, 01:51 PM
Veggie Regular
 
Puca's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 240
I move house in March, so I change my phone number and start afresh... Gonna keep a couple of people in my life, though not many.
Puca is offline  
#11 Old 02-28-2010, 02:28 PM
Veggie Regular
 
Luxxi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 696
I am planning on doing this as we speak! So odd to see this thread!



I'm moving to Asheville! I've always wanted to live there, but never thought I could make it alone. Now I've changed my mind and am going to risk it!



The way I feel is that it'll never happen without risk -- there's always the element of stepping WAY outside your comfort zone, yet the most intense and beautiful changes usually happen from just that!



Really strange to see this! I don't even know how I'm going to make it there.. yet I'm already packing.. haha.. It feels so insane.. though perfectly MEANT to be! Doesn't it feel the same to you?



Good luck on your transformation!!

Click here to visit my webpage! http://astrotidbits.blogspot.com/
Luxxi is offline  
#12 Old 02-28-2010, 08:26 PM
Veggie Regular
 
fadeaway1289's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 10,324
[QUOTE=Luxxi]I am planning on doing this as we speak! So odd to see this thread!



I'm moving to Asheville! I've always wanted to live there, but never thought I could make it alone. Now I've changed my mind and am going to risk it!



The way I feel is that it'll never happen without risk -- there's always the element of stepping WAY outside your comfort zone, yet the most intense and beautiful changes usually happen from just that!



Really strange to see this! I don't even know how I'm going to make it there.. yet I'm already packing.. haha.. It feels so insane.. though perfectly MEANT to be! Doesn't it feel the same to you?



That's so cool. A few years ago I was really considering moving there. It sounds like such a beautiful, amazing place that's really veg*an friendly! Good luck
fadeaway1289 is offline  
#13 Old 03-01-2010, 06:38 AM
Veggie Regular
 
Luxxi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 696
Quote:
Originally Posted by fadeaway1289 View Post


That's so cool. A few years ago I was really considering moving there. It sounds like such a beautiful, amazing place that's really veg*an friendly! Good luck



Oh you're so right! The entire city is very veg*n-friendly and positive, just the most perfect atmosphere! I won't be moving for a few more months still.. I have some things to wrap up before I head off.. but I'm so excited already!!



Why did you decide not to move there, if I could ask?

Click here to visit my webpage! http://astrotidbits.blogspot.com/
Luxxi is offline  
#14 Old 03-01-2010, 04:35 PM
Veggie Regular
 
fadeaway1289's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 10,324
Quote:
Originally Posted by Luxxi View Post

Oh you're so right! The entire city is very veg*n-friendly and positive, just the most perfect atmosphere! I won't be moving for a few more months still.. I have some things to wrap up before I head off.. but I'm so excited already!!



Why did you decide not to move there, if I could ask?



It was too expensive and too far away from my family whom I needed to be with anyways. Maybe some day years in the future I'll make it there or at least visit!
fadeaway1289 is offline  
#15 Old 03-01-2010, 08:16 PM
Veggie Regular
 
Almeria's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 1,852
i've never really done this since the only time I've moved as an adult was with my husband when we moved to NJ for four years. But these last few months almost everyday I really wish I could just pack up my dogs and move somewhere totally unknown and start my life over. But then when I come back to the real world I know there's no way I financially could at all right now. If it was just me, that'd be one thing, but with five dogs depending on me for food and shelter and medical care, etc it just isn't possible. But I day dream about it everyday lately. I'm just not happy with my life, but so much of what I'm not happy with isn't within my control short of just moving and starting over.

As long as there are slaughterhouses there will be battlefields. - Leo Tolstoy
My blog -
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Almeria is offline  
#16 Old 03-12-2010, 12:50 AM
Veggie Regular
 
Puca's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 240
Got new keys to my house... Looking for a new job... Changing my number soon and then ceasing Facebook and online activity
Puca is offline  
#17 Old 03-12-2010, 02:56 AM
Banned
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 7,981
Yes rebooting one's life is a great thing to do for a number of reasons. Good for you for making the jump!



One idea is you can continue to use Facebook and other social networking sites but the trick is to make a new account with a pseudonym, like your login name here for example, and a new email address. You can then add selected friends and keep in touch with them while not being able to be 'found' by any of your undesirable friends/family. A couple of people I know do this for a different reasons.



Good luck!
MrFalafel is offline  
#18 Old 03-14-2010, 09:06 AM
Veggie Regular
 
Puca's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 240
^ I probably will make a pseudonym, to keep in touch with the handful of people I'd still like in my life.



I have found out that somebody who has treated me in quite a horrible way is back on the scene, snooping around friends and acquaintances (this person had an unhealthy obsession with trying to mess up everything I have). I am just so fed up however, that I don't care... I don't want this person to be able to contact me again and don't want involvement with them through friends either.



The only thing I can do, short of telling him to back off is to cut everyone off who was involved with the both of us...



I'm really looking forward to it. The new place is not a flat, it's a house, so I can grow food and get veg boxes of local fresh stuff.



Thanks so much veggie board peoples for giving me support and advice!
Puca is offline  
#19 Old 03-14-2010, 10:10 AM
Veggie Regular
 
fadeaway1289's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 10,324
Quote:
Originally Posted by Puca View Post

^ I probably will make a pseudonym, to keep in touch with the handful of people I'd still like in my life.



I have found out that somebody who has treated me in quite a horrible way is back on the scene, snooping around friends and acquaintances (this person had an unhealthy obsession with trying to mess up everything I have). I am just so fed up however, that I don't care... I don't want this person to be able to contact me again and don't want involvement with them through friends either.



The only thing I can do, short of telling him to back off is to cut everyone off who was involved with the both of us...



I'm really looking forward to it. The new place is not a flat, it's a house, so I can grow food and get veg boxes of local fresh stuff.



Thanks so much veggie board peoples for giving me support and advice!



Your new house sounds awesome! I think it's great that you are starting over and erasing all the negative people in your life. Good luck with everything.
fadeaway1289 is offline  
#20 Old 03-14-2010, 08:36 PM
Newbie
 
GhostUser's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 0
Good Luck With Everything
GhostUser is offline  
#21 Old 05-16-2010, 12:10 PM
Veggie Regular
 
Puca's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 240
I just want to give a quick update on this...



I lived the winter in an unhealthy environment, with a psychologically abusive flatmate and that argument with my brother. I think this winter may have been the best thing to happen to me in years.



My self-esteem got really low and I felt the darkness descend with depression... Suicidal thoughts, alcohol abuse, anxiety...



And then something changed. Discovering a lot of lies and the issues with my brother, for a month I just felt completely numb... Then it all clicked in my mind...



And I decided not to let people take me for granted any more, to learn to like myself, to get fit and do things I never thought I could do...



I have closed Facebook and a lot of links to people and kept only a few in my life. I am planning on going abroad to teach, I have found a new love for fitness and I have a completely new perspective on life. I plan to be out of London in a year or so and I have never felt so calm and 'awake' as I do now!



So thanks all of you for listening to my whiny posts on these boards. I think... I know I will be all right. I now have a healthy relationship with my body (i.e. I'm sober most nights and never very drunk and losing weight ), with my relationships and I am working on loving myself as much as I love my friends.



Hope you all have a beautiful day.



SS
Puca is offline  
#22 Old 05-16-2010, 12:26 PM
Newbie
 
GhostUser's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 0
Good luck Puca! It all sounds exciting for you.
GhostUser is offline  
#23 Old 05-19-2010, 01:28 AM
Veggie Regular
 
Purp's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 6,793
Quote:
Originally Posted by Puca View Post

I just want to give a quick update on this...



I lived the winter in an unhealthy environment, with a psychologically abusive flatmate and that argument with my brother. I think this winter may have been the best thing to happen to me in years.



My self-esteem got really low and I felt the darkness descend with depression... Suicidal thoughts, alcohol abuse, anxiety...



And then something changed. Discovering a lot of lies and the issues with my brother, for a month I just felt completely numb... Then it all clicked in my mind...



And I decided not to let people take me for granted any more, to learn to like myself, to get fit and do things I never thought I could do...



I have closed Facebook and a lot of links to people and kept only a few in my life. I am planning on going abroad to teach, I have found a new love for fitness and I have a completely new perspective on life. I plan to be out of London in a year or so and I have never felt so calm and 'awake' as I do now!



So thanks all of you for listening to my whiny posts on these boards. I think... I know I will be all right. I now have a healthy relationship with my body (i.e. I'm sober most nights and never very drunk and losing weight ), with my relationships and I am working on loving myself as much as I love my friends.



Hope you all have a beautiful day.



SS



Congratulations on your new job and move, and good luck with everything.

Anytime I think I'm perfect, I remember that my cousin lives on an island, and I've never walked over to visit her.
Purp is offline  
#24 Old 05-19-2010, 01:53 AM
Banned
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,529
Just want to send out a good luck to you Puca. I've recently switched who I hang out with and life is a lot more fun. No more drama for no reason and negativity.
KrisMTL is offline  
#25 Old 05-19-2010, 03:47 PM
Veggie Regular
 
Parsnip's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,672
Congratulations, you are on your way to a better life.



I did something similar about 20 years ago. I was stuck in a dead-end, emotionally abusive relationship with the person I had lived with for five years and had just lost my job. One day, I packed up my car with as many of my possessions as it could hold and drove off. I roamed around for a few weeks and ended up about 400 miles away and made a new start. I did go back once to pick up the rest of my stuff and say goodbye to my loved ones, but I'll never forget the advice I got from an uncle, "I know why you're doing this, whatever you do, don't look back".
Parsnip is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the VeggieBoards forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in


Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off