Family won't listen. (Food isn't veg*n, but they say it is.) - VeggieBoards
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#1 Old 08-22-2009, 06:44 PM
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For personal reasons I've had to remove what I've writen here.

But I thank each of you for taking your time to post a reply to it.

And I'll sure put the details on 'yelp' when I can.
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#2 Old 08-22-2009, 06:57 PM
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I might resort to using a scare tactic.... say someone came in claiming they had the food analyzed, found out they were lied to and is suing. Might want to say the person was not only veg but allergic because I'm not sure a veg*n case would ever hold up?



Anyway, thats probably completely unethical, but so is the current condition. Not sure what else I would suggest considering you've already tried reason.

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#3 Old 08-22-2009, 07:05 PM
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Who has foods analyzed though =/ Might need something more logical.

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#4 Old 08-22-2009, 07:11 PM
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This would be a really frustrating situation to be in, and I know how tough it is when you don't want to do something that you believe is wrong, but your family insists you do it anyway.



I am not sure exactly what to tell you to do here, but so far, it seems like you're doing the right thing: When a customer asks you if the curry is vegetarian, you're telling them that it has pork juice, even with the added consequence of getting in trouble. You've talked to your family, who owns the restaurant, about making the curry vegetarian. So far, you're controlling the situation as far as you can. I would not hold you responsible for the actions of your family, and would be grateful if I asked you about the curry and you told me the truth. Unfortunately, the trick here is to ask you.



Your choices beyond this point are really tough ones:



a) You could recognize that you are not responsible for your family's actions and have done everything you can to confront them on the issue and try to change the situation. You can't control other people no matter how much you try. Your responsibility does not extend beyond this point. I understand that if you feel like you are responsible for the actions of your family -- which is common -- this can be a tough choice to live with.



b) You could rock the boat so hard it tips and possibly capsizes. Some people have more of a stomach for shaking up their families and relationships than others. You can press the situation with your family so hard that one of two things has to happen: Your family finally gives up and starts serving the curry vegetarian, or your family finds some way to make you shut up and resents you. (Not intending "Finding some way to make you shut up" as a euphemism for harm! I just realized that sounded really bad.)



c) Get an outside party to take some kind of action -- possibly legal -- to change the situation. Though it's less likely to drive a rift between you and your family, your family may -- justly or not -- blame you for it anyway.



I don't know your folks, and am basing these assumptions based on personal impressions from what you've told me. It would be nice if businesses would please their customers by using honest practices. Honesty has been a problem since someone offered to trade a stick for a stone.



I do hope things improve whatever you decide to do.



Froggy





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Originally Posted by mingster View Post

This is kindda just a rant.

I have no clue what to do. My parents insists on telling her customers, that our curry is veg*n but it's not.

Today this vegatrian came in and she said is her order all vegetarian (she ordered a curry, plus other things.) my sister said "yes". (I was on the phone with another customer. Not a good excuse I know but your not living my life so cut me a break. I feel bad enough.)

Later I talked to my parents about this issue again about turning our curry into a veggie one (no pork juice, we aren't the only ones who do it. I know many others that use other animal derivatives. But thats besides the point at the moment.) They had a really big argument with me and I just left it at that. I really want to talk them around the matter. Yet I don't want to cause problems for their buisness by telling exsiting veggie cutomers that are regulars that are curry isn't veggie. (new veggie customers I do tell if they ask.) I'm just really stuck and I feel like I can't do anything about how they think of it, as they keep saying "I'M NOT ASKING YOU TO EAT IT!, JUST SHUT UP ABOUT IT!" to me. My big sister doesn't feel bad about it at all and her veggie friends eat at our place every so oftern. I just can't seem to make them understand some people think of it as a HUGE thing and they are disrespecting them.

Sorry for the lenthy post. Anyone got any clue as to what I can do without causing major problems to them. If your going to insult me I can live with that as well.

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#5 Old 08-22-2009, 07:22 PM
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Quote:
Who has foods analyzed though =/ Might need something more logical.



Haha, well I was hoping that could be overlooked, the guy I mentioned obviously has a food analyst friend.

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#6 Old 08-22-2009, 07:31 PM
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Originally Posted by s0ad View Post

Haha, well I was hoping that could be overlooked, the guy I mentioned obviously has a food analyst friend.



could make a fake report too

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#7 Old 08-23-2009, 01:01 PM
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I think as hard as it will be for you. I think you should tell the customers, because what if you were in that situation and you were paying for something that you thought was vegetarian or what ever and it wasent. Id want someone to tell me.

Hope all works out for you and you find a solution
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#8 Old 08-23-2009, 01:32 PM
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I think I'd have a heart to heart and tell them that not only could it upset the customers (kosher, religious reasons to not eat pork/meat) it could end up in a very serious lawsuit if someone finds out. The lawsuit wouldn't be that it was mislabeled as vegetarian but would likely be from the religious side. Tell them you love them and it would be easier and better for everyone to call a spade a spade... and not vegetarian. Change the recipe with them.



Hope you find a way through this. It's a tough situation.
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#9 Old 08-23-2009, 03:43 PM
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Yikes! This is awful.



Perhaps if they don't want to break it to every single regular that they have been lying, they could do something as easy as a sign by the cash register: "vegetable curry contains pork" or something.



This probably isn't an option for you, but personally, I would quit. I couldn't work there if they didn't either a) tell the customers OR b) change the recipe. I know your situation is more complicated since you live with them, too (I think). Good Luck whatever you do!
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#10 Old 08-23-2009, 03:58 PM
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If someone has an allergy to pork, they are going to be in a lot of trouble.
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#11 Old 08-23-2009, 04:23 PM
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That is so messed up that someone would do that....why lie to your customers? Just be honest. Something like that is a big deal to me because due to religious reasons I cannot have anything with alcohol...I was lied to about whether it was in my food or not...I did some research on my own and found that the girl who told me it was free of alcohol lied to me right in my face, pretending to call the captain of the company "she says" about a store brand product and ask if it had alcohol. Fake conversation and everything... Instead of lying, they should just make a curry that truly is vegetarian..someone could end up getting hurt.

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#12 Old 08-23-2009, 04:32 PM
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Pork is seriously objectionable to MANY people, not just veg*ns. Many religious groups (and just health-conscious people!) don't eat pork.



Plus, if anyone ever had an allergic reaction, your family's restaurant could be shut down!



Do they not care about ANY of that? If so... The best you can do is just tell the truth whenever you can. Other than that, it sounds like they're just committed to unethical business practices and there is only so much you can do...
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#13 Old 08-23-2009, 05:03 PM
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Froggy- thanx for your b and c choices they are something to really consider.



KHADIJAH- Your righ wouldn't want it done to me, thats the reson I try to stay away from any fast food services, and tell customers I serve when they ask about it. I just can't get my parents to agree, with me.



Beachbnny- I've mentioned about law suit and suing and they said "if I keep my mouth shut no one will no." And they are quit positive I won't say anything to others, as they raised me to respect them and not cause harm to come to them. Which I have to agree does kind of suck at these days.



PJ- Don't live with my parents, but in my case there really is no difference. Quiting would be HEAVEN to me. Still working on persuading them to turn it all veggie curry.



Animallover- I'm hoping for a mirical to happen and they'll see my way, before that happens.

To all the other posters aswell thanx for your posts. I'll keep trying.
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#14 Old 08-24-2009, 02:16 PM
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McDonalds did this awhile back.



Ended up paying $10 million in a lawsuit.



Whoopsie.
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#15 Old 08-24-2009, 04:26 PM
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Even if you can't convince them to change their recipe, they should at least be honest with their customers. Lying about ingredients is both morally and legally wrong.



--Fromper

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#16 Old 08-24-2009, 05:04 PM
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If I could make them see things that way it would be great.



The McDonalds thing could help me out, thanx das_nut.
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#17 Old 08-24-2009, 06:20 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fromper View Post

Even if you can't convince them to change their recipe, they should at least be honest with their customers. Lying about ingredients is both morally and legally wrong.



--Fromper






yikes....thats horrible....and i agree with you fromper thats just wrong in every way possible....that makes me even more leery of eating out.
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#18 Old 08-25-2009, 03:09 PM
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Regarding the regulars who come in and you worrying about telling them the food isn't veggie - you should tell them that NOW the curry contains meat broth, that the recipe has changed. Then you don't have to worry about the previous times they've eaten the curry. While all of it is wrong, and I think even the regulars should know that they have been eating meat, I understand your worries, and at least it's better they know from now on not to order it.
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#19 Old 08-25-2009, 10:41 PM
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Yeah, I would say 'we have changed our recipe, it now contains pork."



You are still lying a bit, but it is a much more ethical lie...
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#20 Old 08-25-2009, 10:48 PM
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This is terrible. Are they doing it because they hate Muslims and/or Jews? I can't believe people would put pork in food and lie about it. What a hateful, mean-spirited thing to do.
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#21 Old 08-25-2009, 11:57 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Princess Peach View Post

This is terrible. Are they doing it because they hate Muslims and/or Jews? I can't believe people would put pork in food and lie about it. What a hateful, mean-spirited thing to do.



It's more likely a cultural thing. People who typically eat pork don't necessarily hate Jews and Muslims.
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#22 Old 08-26-2009, 12:04 AM
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No, but ones that hide pork in food and lie about it do.
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#23 Old 08-26-2009, 12:10 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Princess Peach View Post

No, but ones that hide pork in food and lie about it do.



Or they are just ignorant, and don't realize how big of a deal it really is to some people. I highly doubt they are acting out of hate.
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#24 Old 08-26-2009, 12:31 AM
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Originally Posted by animallover7249 View Post

If someone has an allergy to pork, they are going to be in a lot of trouble.



like horrible lawsuit bad publicity business closed forever kinda trouble. and that keeping your mouth closed stuff never works, cos people can't and don't, and allergies don't generally lie.







seriously, how much hassle would it be to just have a vegetarian curry.?
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#25 Old 08-26-2009, 06:11 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Princess Peach View Post

This is terrible. Are they doing it because they hate Muslims and/or Jews? I can't believe people would put pork in food and lie about it. What a hateful, mean-spirited thing to do.



Quote:
Originally Posted by paisleyjane View Post

Or they are just ignorant, and don't realize how big of a deal it really is to some people. I highly doubt they are acting out of hate.

And the point goes to PJ.

My family just don't see why anyone would not to consume things like meat or any other food for that matter, as it was on this earth for them to eat. If I (we) don't eat them others will. Is what I hear fom them alot.

They don't do it out of hate.

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Originally Posted by hoodedclawjen View Post

like horrible lawsuit bad publicity business closed forever kinda trouble. and that keeping your mouth closed stuff never works, cos people can't and don't, and allergies don't generally lie.







seriously, how much hassle would it be to just have a vegetarian curry.?



I am so trying to convince them of either changing the ingredients or saying they have changed the curry to non veegie now (lie I know but, I can't do any better.) But they are taking to neither. *sigh*



I know the keeping the mouth does never work. Here I a saying all this and if it gets back to them and something happens to the buisness, I'm goig to be in such big trouble. :/



I'm so hoping they'll change if I keep asking them and explaning why.
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#26 Old 08-26-2009, 08:33 AM
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What your family is doing is pretty bad. The only thing I can think to suggest is maybe putting a sign near the cash register saying ''Please let us know if you have allergies.'' Something like that may help protect people from having allergic reactions to hidden ingredients, and suing your parents' company. It sounds like they are very stubborn and you have done everything you can already.

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#27 Old 08-27-2009, 01:38 PM
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Is your parents restaurant on Yelp? Send me the info and I'll write a respectful Yelp review warning vegetarians.



I think that's HORRIBLE to lie, especially about food. I've been told an item was vegetarian and later on, found out the truth. Even before finding out, I got violently ill and almost ended up in the hospital. Had it gotten that bad, I would have sued. I'm not allergic to animal products, but animal broth makes me VERY sick, especially more than a few teaspoons. It's just risky and stupid to lie.
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#28 Old 08-27-2009, 01:42 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Starblossom View Post

What your family is doing is pretty bad. The only thing I can think to suggest is maybe putting a sign near the cash register saying ''Please let us know if you have allergies.'' Something like that may help protect people from having allergic reactions to hidden ingredients, and suing your parents' company. It sounds like they are very stubborn and you have done everything you can already.



While the idea overall is good, it doesn't solve the problem of lying to vegetarians or Jewish people about an item containing certain animal ingredients. That's got to be fixed somehow.
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#29 Old 08-27-2009, 01:54 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mingster View Post

This is kindda just a rant.

I have no clue what to do. My parents insists on telling her customers, that our curry is veg*n but it's not.

Today this vegatrian came in and she said is her order all vegetarian (she ordered a curry, plus other things.) my sister said "yes". (I was on the phone with another customer. Not a good excuse I know but your not living my life so cut me a break. I feel bad enough.)

Later I talked to my parents about this issue again about turning our curry into a veggie one (no pork juice, we aren't the only ones who do it. I know many others that use other animal derivatives. But thats besides the point at the moment.) They had a really big argument with me and I just left it at that. I really want to talk them around the matter. Yet I don't want to cause problems for their buisness by telling exsiting veggie cutomers that are regulars that are curry isn't veggie. (new veggie customers I do tell if they ask.) I'm just really stuck and I feel like I can't do anything about how they think of it, as they keep saying "I'M NOT ASKING YOU TO EAT IT!, JUST SHUT UP ABOUT IT!" to me. My big sister doesn't feel bad about it at all and her veggie friends eat at our place every so oftern. I just can't seem to make them understand some people think of it as a HUGE thing and they are disrespecting them.

Sorry for the lenthy post. Anyone got any clue as to what I can do without causing major problems to them. If your going to insult me I can live with that as well.



As someone that eats in restaurants and orders similar dishes but veganized this troubles me. It is definetly a violation of someone's trust to serve food to a veg*n and lie about the contents. Unfortunately it seems like it just is not important to your family and they don't care about lying to customers. I don't think there is a way to be honest that would not harm the restaurant but still the right thing would be to inform your friends about the "truth" of what is being served and try to spread the word so other veg*ns won't unknowningly eat food that is not veg*n. You have a tough choice.

I eat everything that nature voluntarily gives: fruits, vegetables, and the products of plants. But I ask you to spare me what animals are forced to surrender: meat, milk, and cheese. ~Author Unknown
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#30 Old 08-27-2009, 02:11 PM
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I notice that you're located in the UK. Just so you know it is incredibly easy to get caught out for doing stuff like this. If you suspect that there's an ingredient in your food that shouldn't be there you can phone the Food Standards Agency and they will happily investigate it for you and if necessary take legal action.



I know this because I've done it, they don't mess about. After phoning I had someone turn up at my door to collect the offending food item within 2 hours of calling them to take it away for anaylsis.
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