Gay (support?) Club, w00t! - Page 20 - VeggieBoards
View Poll Results: Your Orientation?
I'm gay and everyone knows it, yeah! 0 0%
I'm gay and most people know! 0 0%
I'm gay and one, two, or fewer people know! 0 0%
I'm bisexual! 0 0%
I'm straight, you lucky wieners you! 0 0%
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#571 Old 10-20-2004, 01:13 PM
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I think I'm gay...did I just say that?



I think that women are incredibly attractive, I'm fallen in love with two and I honestly believe that if it was accepted by my friends and family that I would come out and date women openly but it's not and my family would disown me in the way of emotions so instead I date my best friend who is a man because I'm so relieved to have found a man that I could spend the rest of my life with because we get along and share a lot of the same views and I DO love him but I don't know if it's in the way a couple SHOULD love eachother when I want to scream at the top of my lungs because everytime I turn my head to look at another cute girl or see a lesbian couple I feel like that's where I belong and I don't know if I'm lying to myself about everything and if I'll ever be happy!!!!!!!!



*DEEP BREATH*...jesus
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#572 Old 10-22-2004, 09:54 PM
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Originally Posted by 80s_Lover View Post

I think I'm gay...did I just say that?



I think that women are incredibly attractive, I'm fallen in love with two and I honestly believe that if it was accepted by my friends and family that I would come out and date women openly but it's not and my family would disown me in the way of emotions so instead I date my best friend who is a man because I'm so relieved to have found a man that I could spend the rest of my life with because we get along and share a lot of the same views and I DO love him but I don't know if it's in the way a couple SHOULD love eachother when I want to scream at the top of my lungs because everytime I turn my head to look at another cute girl or see a lesbian couple I feel like that's where I belong and I don't know if I'm lying to myself about everything and if I'll ever be happy!!!!!!!!



*DEEP BREATH*...jesus



Well, that's a tough one. Honestly, I would say you would do much worse to yourself to lie not only to yourself but someone else. It could cause years of hurt on your side, and his side too.



But this is your life, too, and I definitely think you need to make the right decisions for you.



Being gay isn't easy, but it's a LOT easier to be yourself than to try to make yourself someone you're not.
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#573 Old 11-05-2004, 02:08 PM
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I'm coming out. *cue music*



Mikie knows this already but I do have plans to come out to my family this week. They're just making me so crazy and I need to just let them know this part of me. Maybe if they actually know someone who's queer, they won't treat it like something foreign. Of course this could backfire but screw it. I'm doing it.



Now, any advice? Suggestions? I honestly don't want to do it in person. I know that sounds like a cop out but I actually want them to read something, think about it for a while and then talk to me about it. If we did it all in person my uncle would just crack jokes or have an absurd first reaction, my mother would be numb for a while and my aunt might just go "wwwhhhat?" and then read me bible verses. Granted, they might do all this anyway whether I tell them in person or not.



My previous situation still stands a bit. I was honestly afraid that when I come out my babysitting days are over for fear of "the gay spreading." At this point though everyone can kiss my ass. My aunt and uncle will be moving to Fl anyway so it doesn't matter anymore.



My family seems to suspect to that might make it easier on me.



Sigh. I hope this goes well.
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#574 Old 11-05-2004, 10:28 PM
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Tiggzie!



Congrats on your courage! Personally, I think the best thing to do is tell one parent at a time, then move outward to the rest of the family. But a letter isn't a bad idea, as dealing from a distance may help a teensy bit. Whatever you decide to do, good luck, and many hugs!

For what it's worth, my best friend is an out of the closet lesbian, and a full time nanny. She's had many babysitting jobs and it hasn't been a problem. If it has been, those people simply didn't hire her, but nonetheless, she's had work.
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#575 Old 11-06-2004, 12:28 PM
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Wow, this thread was really interesting to me! I'm pretty straight, and I've had a lot of questions about homosexuality. This thread was very enlightening. Kudos to everyone who came out, Mikie your story was especially interesting.
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#576 Old 11-08-2004, 09:32 PM
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Ok guys this may sound strange. In case most of you don't know, I am a Christian, and Christians are opposed to homosexuality, but........



My next door neighbor let her friend move in with her while she is in law school. This girl introduced herself to me last month as my next door neighbor's temp roommate. My next door neighbor has a bf, and all of that.



She asked what my cat's name was after she introduced herself. She has a kitten, and she loves animals as much as I do. We have gone out for coffee, and shopping etc. She is really cool. She asked me the other day if the guy she sees at my place a lot is my bf.



Well, he is just a good friend, and I told her that. She told me she is a lesbian, and wanted to know if I would go on a date with her. She is beautiful! She looks like a model. I have never in my life been attracted to a woman, but I am very attracted to her. My Christianity is telling me one thing, but the rest of me is telling me to go out with her. I haven't been able to stop thinking about her. What the heck should I do??????



Any advice? I could really use it.
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#577 Old 11-08-2004, 09:50 PM
 
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Hi catgirl76! Not all Christians are opposed to homosexuality. I'm a lesbian, and I'm a Christian. It is possible. Look around and see if there is an MCC church in your area. They have a special outreach to the glbt community, and most congregations are almost completely queer folks. Here's a link to the MCC site.



About the dating situation--I would try talking to her about your feelings. Tell her you're attracted, but that your religious beliefs are making you have some reservations. Talking might help you sort out your feelings.



And Tiggzie! I missed your post from a few days earlier! I think a letter is a great way to tell your family. There will always be some shock, and some negative feelings at first. This way, they can get used to the idea before they talk to you about it.



Let us know how it goes, ok?
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#578 Old 11-08-2004, 09:59 PM
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Hi catgirl76! Not all Christians are opposed to homosexuality. I'm a lesbian, and I'm a Christian. It is possible. Look around and see if there is an MCC church in your area. They have a special outreach to the glbt community, and most congregations are almost completely queer folks. Here's a link to the MCC site.



About the dating situation--I would try talking to her about your feelings. Tell her you're attracted, but that your religious beliefs are making you have some reservations. Talking might help you sort out your feelings.



And Tiggzie! I missed your post from a few days earlier! I think a letter is a great way to tell your family. There will always be some shock, and some negative feelings at first. This way, they can get used to the idea before they talk to you about it.



Let us know how it goes, ok?



My car is broken down, and there is a MCC in walking distance from my house. Go figure! I have already talked to her about my feelings and my Christianity. She was very understanding. If I were to go out with her, I would have to let her know that I am attracted to men more than her. I don't want to lead her on and have her get hurt. She is really nice. If nothing comes of it, at least I know I'll have a friend for life. Thanks Gracie.
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#579 Old 11-09-2004, 12:18 AM
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I would say, don't go out with her. Anti-gay religious feelings carry a lot of weight that would burden any relationship. Figure out your own feelings and beliefs first. As Gracie said though, not all Christians are opposed to homosexuality. My favorite website that shows both points of views is http://religioustolerance.org/homosexu.htm so read both sides of the argument and you can make up your own mind on the matter. There are gay-friendly churches in almost every town nowadays.
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#580 Old 11-09-2004, 03:35 AM
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Mikie, I was wondering how the visit with your parents went ???

It went as well as I could have hoped for. When my sister picked me up at the airport she was warning me that she was a bit hesitant to surprise my parents because she wasn't sure how they were going to react.



That night she decided to surprise just my mom instead of both of my parents. She had her babysitter call my mom at 20:00 and tell her that she had to leave to go to work and wondered if my mom could go up and watch the kids until my sister arrived. Of course, my sister and I were already there. So my mother arrives 2 seconds later and I walk into the kitchen and surprise the crap out of her!



Instead of "holy crap!" or "oh, my baby!" she just sort of stood there with a blank white face and looked as if she had seen a ghost. Very amusing.



It was a bit weird for the first 10 minutes because it almost seemed as if we had to relearn each other for the first time, but that went away soon.



That night my mother drove me home to where my father was in bed sleeping. He got up to go to the bathroom and found out that I was there. He was in the room next to me and my mother went to him and said "Mike's here" and he said, "I know" and then instead of coming into the kitchen to see me he just went back to bed.



That was a bit scary.



I realized something like that might happen, so I wasn't upset or surprised, but it still weighed on my mind. I woke up the next morning and my mother and sisters hung out all day and it was great. That afternoon I made a vegan dinner for my family and my father arrived that night and everything was fine.



It went pretty well after that. The only drama was after my mother and I watched Fahrenheit 9/11 and my mother was defending Bush. Oy.
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#581 Old 11-12-2004, 01:14 PM
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I told my little brother Kyle.



A bit of background: My little brother is 12 (I'm 18) and when he was born my mother and stepfather were in a really bad state (alcoholism, depression, blah blah). I had a huge huge part in his upbringing since my parents couldn't really do any parenting. ANYWAY, we're the only democratic, anti-Bush, pro-choice, gay marriage, gay right supporters in the family. He's my partner in crime. His opinion and thoughts mattered more to me than anyone else's in the family.



So I told him. I said "Kyle, I'm bisexual."



He said "Okay." I said "Do you know what bisexual is?" He said "You like both sexes." I said "And that's okay with you?"



"Of course it is. You're my sister, my mom and I love you. I'll always love you no matter what. When you marry a girl somewhere in Mass. I'll be right by your side." That almost made me cry.



I love Kyle. I love him I love him I love him I love him!! Now I have enough confidence to tell the rest of my family soon.
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#582 Old 11-12-2004, 04:49 PM
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aww, good! I hope the rest of the family is accepting too Tiggzie.



Mikie, that's pretty sad... Usually if someone's uncomfortable with homosexuality, they'll just act like you never told them... not give you the cold shoulder after not having seen you for months. bah.
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#583 Old 11-13-2004, 03:16 AM
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Yeah, I was hurt, but I expected it so I didn't take it personally.



When I was young (I forget, maybe around 8-years-old) there was a guy in my town who commited suicide and in his note he wrote that he was gay and couldn't live with himself. That's the kind of area in Vermont I'm from, so I understand why he acts that way. It's the only thing he's ever known and I'm turning it upside-down and expecting him to understand. It's going to take time.



Fortunately things are changing (I think.) As long as I could remember the 11 other counties in the state always voted left and the 3 counties in my corner of the state always voted Republican. This year my home county and one other voted for Kerry leaving only one county for Bush. I've never seen that before and it's uplifting!
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#584 Old 11-14-2004, 10:48 PM
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I would say, don't go out with her. Anti-gay religious feelings carry a lot of weight that would burden any relationship. Figure out your own feelings and beliefs first. As Gracie said though, not all Christians are opposed to homosexuality. My favorite website that shows both points of views is http://religioustolerance.org/homosexu.htm so read both sides of the argument and you can make up your own mind on the matter. There are gay-friendly churches in almost every town nowadays.



I took your advice kpickell. I thought long and hard about it, and I came to the conclusion that she would just get hurt. My feelings were fleeting. I guess it's natural to be curious about the "other side", but if I were to act on them until I had a grip on them, it would cause pain. Thanks for the link. It helped. Thanks to you too Gracie.
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#585 Old 11-15-2004, 07:51 PM
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I'm new here--I have an introduction in the intro forum.



I'm a woman in a relationship with another woman. We've been together for just over 3 years, living together for about 2. I'm out to all friends, my immediate family, and some of my extended family. Things were a little rough when I was a teen--15 years ago--but it's all good now.
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#586 Old 11-15-2004, 11:11 PM
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I'm still not out yet. I'm still way too scared. I want to come out, though... It's hard since I have never met another gay guy before. I think it would be better if I had a few gay friends.
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#587 Old 11-15-2004, 11:56 PM
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Sorry you're afraid to come out, Merqutio. It's almost never easy, but always worth it in the end. I bet you've met a gay guy before and didn't even realize it! But I know what you mean, it's ashame you don't have any gay friends in real life to support you. What's your social situation like? How do you expect your family and friends to react? Would you ever consider seeking out new gay friends through a gay civil rights group, or by moving?





And welcome Formicalinoleum!
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#588 Old 11-16-2004, 12:43 AM
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I'm not out either. It's not a good option for me at the moment, living with my non-gay-friendly father and all... I plan to be out as soon as I get out of his house, though. I don't plan on shouting it out to the world, but I wont hide it anymore. That'll be nice.
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#589 Old 11-16-2004, 03:46 AM
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I'm gay but closeted.
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#590 Old 11-16-2004, 03:47 AM
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Hey, welcome to the thread Plaid, Merqutio, and formicalinoleum!



formicalinoleum, I'm glad to hear things are going well now.



Merqutio, welcome to the thread. I'm positive you've met a gay guy before. It's estimated that around 10% of the population is gay (the poll in this thread supports almost exactly that.) The gay people you've met are probably just not out of the closet, or maybe the topic simply didn't come up. And Plaid, welcome to you too. I definitely didn't come out when I was living at home. If parents aren't open to the idea, I think it's best that it wait until you're out of the house.



I hope you guys become active members of our thread!
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#591 Old 11-16-2004, 03:53 AM
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Hey michael_veggie, welcome to the thread.



Michael and I talk a lot on instant messenger, I'd say we're pretty good internet friends though it's hard to tell with his thorough introduction.
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#592 Old 11-16-2004, 04:54 AM
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im a gay female.vegan heart.xxx.
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#593 Old 11-16-2004, 04:57 AM
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Hi and hugs to all the new people here.



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#594 Old 11-16-2004, 05:00 AM
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hey kpickell,heartfelt thank for the warm welcome,im vegan,liverpool uk.lesbian.vegan heart.xxx.
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#595 Old 11-16-2004, 09:15 AM
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Sorry you're afraid to come out, Merqutio. It's almost never easy, but always worth it in the end. I bet you've met a gay guy before and didn't even realize it! But I know what you mean, it's ashame you don't have any gay friends in real life to support you. What's your social situation like? How do you expect your family and friends to react? Would you ever consider seeking out new gay friends through a gay civil rights group, or by moving?





And welcome Formicalinoleum!



My family? They would probably disown me. Most of my friends should be okay with it. Where can I find civil rights groups in my area?
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#596 Old 11-16-2004, 09:35 AM
 
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Hi and welcome to all the new folks!
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#597 Old 11-16-2004, 01:07 PM
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My family? They would probably disown me. Most of my friends should be okay with it. Where can I find civil rights groups in my area?





You can always search the internet. I would look into local colleges. Many have groups like Allies, or Lambda, and I'm sure they'd be happy to have someone from the community attend. Do you live in the states? If so, check out your city's free newspaper, or even the regular newspaper under the entertainment section. There's often a "gay/lesbian" section, and it will list things like community meetings.
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#598 Old 11-16-2004, 01:13 PM
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Hola! I'm gay AND transgendered! Lucky me! *throws confetti* Cheechaw!
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#599 Old 11-16-2004, 08:52 PM
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I was a very bad gay person today.



First some background, it happened at work today, the third busiest day at my store second to Christmas and Thanksgiving eves.



I was the floor supervisor and I had to transition the morning cashiers into the evening cashiers (12 registers total) in about 2 hours time. I had to do a pickup and loan for nearly every person while at the same time dealing with customers (just walking throughout them was enough, let alone dealing with their questions), doing keyflicks for registers, helping cashiers when they needed help, etc.



I was going CRAZY with being so busy. Had any person at this time came up and said something to me I probably would have snapped.



And then it happened!!



While I had a thousand dollars in my pocket I need to go drop in a safe, and a list of things to do in the next minute, I feel someone tapping on my shoulder (I don't even like people touching me to begin with, let alone a customer while I have cash on me) and I turn around and it was some guy who was looking at me like I knew him and I stared for a minute and didn't recognize him so I started to walk away and he tapped me again and I could tell he was nervous, and finally he spat out "would you like to go for coffee sometime?" (dozens of people have flirted with me before but I've NEVER been hit on, especially by a guy!) and I repeated his question with disbelief and he said yes, and I said "No!" and just walked away and continued working.



AGGH!!



This poor kid, who obviously worked up a lot of nerve to ask me, is probably now feeling like ****. I totally responded like some close-minded breeder when it fact I was completely flattered and most likely would have said yes, had I not been going through a gauntlet of trials at work at the moment.



I feel terrible now.



And he was cute!!



I know I'm a little late but... That was soooo mean!!! That could have been some guy that just came out and worked up the courage to ask you out! Someone like me...hmph!
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#600 Old 11-16-2004, 08:57 PM
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I know I'm a little late but... That was soooo mean!!! That could have been some guy that just came out and worked up the courage to ask you out! Someone like me...hmph!

Oh please, it was months ago now. He's probably moved on.



Welcome Lee! Sheesh, so many new people in this thread this week!
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