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-   -   If Your Pets Could Talk, What Would They Talk About? (https://www.veggieboards.com/forum/24-companion-animals/117248-if-your-pets-could-talk-what-would-they-talk-about.html)

peace 09-27-2010 03:53 PM

I think one of my cats would talk about how much she hates the other cats. The other two would, I think, talk absolutely non-stop about food, because eating and trying to steal food are their absolute favorite things in the world.

What would your pets talk about if they had the power of speech?

SomebodyElse 09-27-2010 04:01 PM

I used to blog as one of my kitties. He talked about his daily adventures, seeing new things for the first time, making fun of the other animals, etc. His writing style was that of a very young boy, which made people laugh.

I should take it up again. It was kind of fun.

GhostUser 09-27-2010 04:10 PM

mine would probably talk about how they would prefer to live with someone who keeps more animal friendly hours.

Parsnip 09-27-2010 04:20 PM

The Dog's Diary

8:00 am Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm Milk bones! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm Dinner! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

The Cat's Diary:

Day 983 of my captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe ... for now.

vegkid 09-27-2010 04:24 PM

My cat pepper would be like one of those annoying little girls who won't stop bugging you and pulls your hair and stuff, my cat Nilla would be some kind of 18-year-old lazy gamer type (duuuuuuuuuuuude), and my cat Liza would probably be a petty lady with a bad temper. My gecko would most likely be talking nonstop about food (crickets/mealworms), my frogs would be talking about how boring it is in their tank (I'm going to try and get them a better and bigger tank, but that would mean putting them in the turtle tank, and that would mean moving the turtle to an even bigger tank which would be a huge process in itself), my fish would all act like... well, fish. "BLUB BLUB! DUDE! BLUB! LOOK! FOOD! OMNOM! LOOK! FOOD!" My roaches would be saying "meh." all the time, my tarantula the same way, and my bird would be really chatty and not want to leave anyone alone.

Breezydreams 09-27-2010 04:27 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Parsnip View Post

The Dog's Diary

8:00 am Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm Milk bones! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm Dinner! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

The Cat's Diary:

Day 983 of my captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe ... for now.


ROFL!!! So Good! You are a great writer


Parsnip 09-27-2010 04:49 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Breezydreams View Post

ROFL!!! So Good! You are a great writer


Thanks, but I can't take credit, that's an old joke that's been going around for years.

AndrewFL 09-27-2010 04:53 PM

Chloe, a mutt *****- Foooooddd......give me the fooooodddd........I want the fooooooddddddddd.........I will accept belly rubs and snuggles, but I want fooooooooodddddddd.....
Murphy, a male mutt- What are you doing? WHY are you not rubbing my stomach anymore?! I put up with the other two, I DESERVE IT! Im the old man! LOVE ME!!!!!!!
Phoebe, ***** chihuahua-BOING BOING BOUNCE!!!!!!! PLAY!!!!!!!!! OMG PLAY PLAY PLAYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can imagine the geckos making sardonic comments about me, their eyes are condecending! Until I feed them....

semasahin 09-27-2010 06:08 PM

I think my guinea pig would say..."gimme a carrot" or "i'm scared." xD

Huckleberry 09-27-2010 06:13 PM

My dog would talk about going swimming, how great the swimming was, and when can we go again. "Swimming is so cool and fun Mom can we go again, can we??!!

DarkwingDuckie 09-27-2010 08:04 PM

My Maui cat would say pet me, rub me, pay attention to me, give me extra food, now I need love, pet me again, cuddle with me... she is always around me when I am home.

My Sushi cat would say *yawn* "don't disturb me dude" and then go back to sleep. I see him as a layed back type... like a surfer dude, if he was not afraid of water.

Amy SF 09-27-2010 08:12 PM

Violet the cat: I wanna go out! Let me back in! I wanna go out! Let me back in! I wanna go out! Let me back in! I wanna go out! Let me back in! I wanna go out! Let me back in! I wanna go out! Let me back in! I wanna go out! Let me back in! I wanna go out! Let me back in! I wanna go out! Let me back in! I wanna go out! Let me back in! I wanna go out! Let me back in! I wanna go out! Let me back in! I wanna go out! Let me back in! I wanna go out! Let me back in! I wanna go out! Let me back in! I wanna go out! Let me back in! I wanna go out! Let me back in! I wanna go out! Let me back in! I wanna go out! Let me back in! I wanna go out! Let me back in! I wanna go out! Let me back in! I wanna go out! Let me back in! I wanna go out! Let me back in! I wanna go out! Let me back in! I wanna go out! Let me back in!


Amy SF 09-27-2010 08:15 PM

Misty the cat: *burp* I ate too many bugs today.

Sabrina the cat: More Feline Greenies cat treats! More Feline Greenies cat treats! More Feline Greenies cat treats! More Feline Greenies cat treats! More Feline Greenies cat treats! More Feline Greenies cat treats! More Feline Greenies cat treats! More Feline Greenies cat treats! More Feline Greenies cat treats! More Feline Greenies cat treats! More Feline Greenies cat treats! More Feline Greenies cat treats! More Feline Greenies cat treats! More Feline Greenies cat treats! More Feline Greenies cat treats! More Feline Greenies cat treats! More Feline Greenies cat treats! More Feline Greenies cat treats! More Feline Greenies cat treats! More Feline Greenies cat treats! More Feline Greenies cat treats! More Feline Greenies cat treats! More Feline Greenies cat treats! More Feline Greenies cat treats! More Feline Greenies cat treats! More Feline Greenies cat treats! More Feline Greenies cat treats!

GhostUser 09-27-2010 08:28 PM

The finches: Let us out! Let us out! *flies into a wall* WTH is this thing doing here?

The kitten: Hey, stop pushing me away. Let me finish those ongoing pieces of Pollock on your thighs and back on your hands.


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