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-   -   So yeah...that happened. Epic seitan fail! (https://www.veggieboards.com/forum/21-general-food-discussions/88290-so-yeah-happened-epic-seitan-fail.html)

PSI 09-29-2008 04:08 PM

I tried to use seitan for the first time today. While I was "kneading" it (how the heck do you knead a rubber ball, anyway?) my 7-year-old son came into the kitchen.



"What's that?" he asked, pointing.



"It's called seitan. It's kinda like meat."



Then he very innocently said, "It looks like cat barf."



I stopped and started at what was lying on the cutting board.



"You're right. It...it really does."



(It's in the trash under a paper plate, now.)

rabid_child 09-29-2008 04:11 PM

You threw it away without even cooking it/trying it first?? What an awful waste. A lot of foods look less than appetizing in their raw state. Heck, even if you didn't like the way it looked once it was cooked it can be ground to replace ground meat. That's really a shame.

PSI 09-29-2008 04:15 PM

A small piece of it is simmering in a pot of veggie broth right now. I'm not sure I'll be able to eat it, but I may get really brave. The texture seems kinda...chewy.



And FTR, I live with a chick who has three cats that barf regularly, and I get to clean it up. I have a bit of a weak stomach, there. I have no guilt.

vyapti 09-29-2008 05:05 PM

Uncooked, it does kinda look like barf...or brains. There are several ways of cooking it too, simmering, baking, steaming or some combination thereof. Don't give up, especially without cooking it. It is really versatile and really good, but does take some practice to make (at least it did with me).

shineonyou 09-29-2008 05:53 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by PSI View Post

And FTR, I live with a chick who has three cats that barf regularly, and I get to clean it up. I have a bit of a weak stomach, there. I have no guilt.



Well, I sure am glad no one is forcing ME to live with a chick whose cats barf all the time for me to clean up. If my roommate's cat starts barfing and she doesn't clean it up, I will be allowed to move out. What a wonderful life I lead!

danakscully64 09-29-2008 06:18 PM

Seitan logs are SO much better than the boiled stuff:



http://www.recipezaar.com/304163



It will look brain like before going in the oven. It will turn out chewy.

PSI 09-29-2008 08:00 PM

So the piece that I boiled came out a little brainy, indeed. I chewed a little piece and it was very weird. But I focused really hard and I was sort of able to conjure up the texture of the chicken in McDonald's chicken nuggets.



That log definitely looks more like food than the stuff I made, for sure.

Gita 09-29-2008 08:17 PM

A lot of these experiments fail the first time around. Have faith. I've made tofu (would rather buy it), bread of all sorts, yogurt, sour dough starter, and now I am crowing about my success with wine! Seitan does use a lot of water, so it is not without environmental impact. I haven't tried it because it uses so much water to make. I am sorry you didn't move on with the great experiment.

Tofu-N-Sprouts 09-29-2008 08:21 PM

The "log" is too dense for me, I like my seitan soft and squishy I guess. I do make it in "logs" and then grind up for "burger". WAY cheap and better than Boca crumbles and makes a TON.



I hate to waste food too but I have an EXTREMELY weak stomach (or active imagination) and have thrown a couple things away untried because of their close aproximation to certain things... baby poo, cat barf, worms, just to name a few. So yeah, I actually can relate.

ViolinCyndee 09-29-2008 08:22 PM

I love both the Spicy Italian Sausage and BBQ seitan ribs recipes at: www.everydaydish.com



SO yummy, and easy to make!

Tofu-N-Sprouts 09-29-2008 08:22 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gita View Post

Seitan does use a lot of water, so it is not without environmental impact. I haven't tried it because it uses so much water to make.



Huh? My recipe for baked "logs" uses 2 cups of water. How is that any more of an impact than, say, pasta or soup?

MrFalafel 09-30-2008 04:14 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tofu-N-Sprouts View Post

Huh? My recipe for baked "logs" uses 2 cups of water. How is that any more of an impact than, say, pasta or soup?



If you make seitan without 'vital wheat gluten powder' then it does use huge abounts of water. I've made seitan from scratch using nothing but strong flour and you need to knead and rinse all of the starch out. This takes buckets of water (and huge amounts of work).



So the first rule of seitan making is 'use wheat gluten powder'!

GhostUser 09-30-2008 04:58 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by vyapti View Post

Uncooked, it does kinda look like barf...or brains.



I have never tried seitan and now I'm not too keen to try it ever!

Tofu-N-Sprouts 09-30-2008 09:14 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by MrFalafel View Post

If you make seitan without 'vital wheat gluten powder' then it does use huge abounts of water. I've made seitan from scratch using nothing but strong flour and you need to knead and rinse all of the starch out. This takes buckets of water (and huge amounts of work).



So the first rule of seitan making is 'use wheat gluten powder'!



Oh right. I seriously thought only vegetarian pioneer women from the 1800's used that method though. (Well, OK, not that, but I did think it was a completely outdated method that hadn't been used since the "invention" of convenient packages of vital wheat gluten...)

vyapti 09-30-2008 09:32 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Toast View Post

I have never tried seitan and now I'm not too keen to try it ever!



Don't be too quick to judge. Seitan really is good and amazingly versatile. Here it is uncooked:







and cooked (ribs and hot dog are both seitan)






Nishani 09-30-2008 09:43 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by PSI View Post

So the piece that I boiled came out a little brainy, indeed. I chewed a little piece and it was very weird. But I focused really hard and I was sort of able to conjure up the texture of the chicken in McDonald's chicken nuggets..





Seitan is very weird to me too, it's not really much like food IMO, although plenty of people on VB seem to like it well enough.



If you're particularly looking for a chicken nugget taste, I think you'd be better off looking in the Asian grocery stores for fake nuggets - so much better

GhostUser 09-30-2008 09:56 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by vyapti View Post

and cooked (ribs and hot dog are both seitan)








That looks good.

danakscully64 09-30-2008 10:29 AM

Here are some more pictures:



Boiled Seitan:























Baked Log:








vyapti 09-30-2008 10:45 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pixelle View Post

Seitan is very weird to me too, it's not really much like food IMO, although plenty of people on VB seem to like it well enough.



If you're particularly looking for a chicken nugget taste, I think you'd be better off looking in the Asian grocery stores for fake nuggets - so much better



Often times, fake meat in an asian store IS seitan, just commercially prepared. You can also get packaged seitan that, IMO works better than the processed Morningstar etc stuff, but not nearly as good as home made.



It really is worth it to spend some time working on one method 'till you get it right.



Dana: Those samiches are making me hungry

danakscully64 09-30-2008 10:50 AM

I LOVE to make seitan dips (served with au jus sauce). Seriously, one of the best sandwiches ever. I miss real french dips

GhostUser 09-30-2008 10:57 AM

Those dishes look great as well danakscully.



I should try seitan, but I think I was just so traumatised from my experience with tempeh that I couldn't summon up the courage to try another new thing after that.

ViolinCyndee 09-30-2008 12:42 PM

MMMMmmmm!! LOVE seitan!!

shineonyou 09-30-2008 12:50 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Toast View Post

Those dishes look great as well danakscully.



I should try seitan, but I think I was just so traumatised from my experience with tempeh that I couldn't summon up the courage to try another new thing after that.



Is it really possible to mess up tempeh? I can't wrap my brain around that one.

GhostUser 09-30-2008 01:03 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by shineonyou View Post

Is it really possible to mess up tempeh? I can't wrap my brain around that one.



Oh no I didn't mess it up, I just tasted it for the first time and thought it was absolutely disgusting!

vyapti 09-30-2008 01:19 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by shineonyou View Post

Is it really possible to mess up tempeh? I can't wrap my brain around that one.



Yes, if you allow tempeh to pass your lips, you've messed up.

rabid_child 09-30-2008 02:00 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Toast View Post

Oh no I didn't mess it up, I just tasted it for the first time and thought it was absolutely disgusting!



Yea, it's pretty gross. I found a brand I didn't mind, then realized I got sick every time I ate it. I'll stick to my tofu and seitan and legumes and things.

Sharon Picone 09-30-2008 03:28 PM

I've ever only bought seitan from the health food store; the idea of making my own does not appeal to me (and I'm a self-taught chef!).



Seitan does look rather unappetizing before it's cooked, but trust me, once it is cooked (it's especially good in stews), it tastes really good and becomes extremely tender.



Don't give up on it so soon. Experiment with different methods of cooking (it's very versatile) as well as a variety of herbs or spices. Once you hit on a recipe or two that you like, you'll have seitan again and again. Guaranteed!

rabid_child 09-30-2008 05:07 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sharon Picone View Post

I've ever only bought seitan from the health food store; the idea of making my own does not appeal to me (and I'm a self-taught chef!).



Seitan does look rather unappetizing before it's cooked, but trust me, once it is cooked (it's especially good in stews), it tastes really good and becomes extremely tender.



Don't give up on it so soon. Experiment with different methods of cooking (it's very versatile) as well as a variety of herbs or spices. Once you hit on a recipe or two that you like, you'll have seitan again and again. Guaranteed!



Homemade seitan is much tastier than store bought, and you benefit from having control over the taste, texture, and shape. I strongly recommend you give it a go if you're a seitan fan.

danakscully64 09-30-2008 06:28 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Toast View Post

Those dishes look great as well danakscully.



I should try seitan, but I think I was just so traumatised from my experience with tempeh that I couldn't summon up the courage to try another new thing after that.



Thanks! I should have added a description of what they were... from memory, lets see, I think from top to bottom: boiled seitan, carnitas, BBQ sandwich, boiled seitan sandwich, seitan log, seitan log sandwich.



Quote:
Originally Posted by vyapti View Post

Yes, if you allow tempeh to pass your lips, you've messed up.



Agree!



Quote:
Originally Posted by Sharon Picone View Post

I've ever only bought seitan from the health food store; the idea of making my own does not appeal to me (and I'm a self-taught chef!).



Seitan does look rather unappetizing before it's cooked, but trust me, once it is cooked (it's especially good in stews), it tastes really good and becomes extremely tender.



Don't give up on it so soon. Experiment with different methods of cooking (it's very versatile) as well as a variety of herbs or spices. Once you hit on a recipe or two that you like, you'll have seitan again and again. Guaranteed!



You should try my log recipe, it's REALLY easy, especially if you have a Kitchen Aid and very affordable.

danakscully64 09-30-2008 06:29 PM

I don't think I have a picture, but I'll check my other computer. I made seitan chili one day that was AMAZING. I just threw some chopped seitan into my food processor to make the pieces smaller and added them in in place of tempeh (recipe was from Vegetarian Times).


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