Etiquette Question - VeggieBoards
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#1 Old 02-11-2011, 11:37 PM
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Hi all. I've got a question, and I'm not sure how to answer. My niece's half sister has moved here from California, and she is vegan. I'd like to make a vegan meal, without putting her or anyone else on the spot. Do I say something like, "Enjoy your vegan meal?" to everyone, or do I keep my mouth shut except around her? "Tonight's meal is vegan, you can have entree/veggie/bread/starch/salad/dessert." We had a semi vegan meal (pasta with tomato sauce, vegan sausages (and meat sausages, too), salad, veggies, vegan garlic bread, and a vegan chocolate cake. I also invested in a tub of Earth Balance, since I do a lot of baking, and don't want her feeling left out. Am I handling this well, just telling her, "The bread/cake/tomato sauce/pasta is vegan, and I'm not sure about anything else." and keeping my mouth shut around everyone else, or should I tell everyone? Any and all advice is much appreciated.

Anytime I think I'm perfect, I remember that my cousin lives on an island, and I've never walked over to visit her.
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#2 Old 02-11-2011, 11:48 PM
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I would let her know privately before the meal, asap. I would tell the other guests after the meal.
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#3 Old 02-12-2011, 12:20 AM
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I would let her know privately before the meal, asap. I would tell the other guests after the meal.

Agreed! Wait for them to say how delicious it is then tell them
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#4 Old 02-12-2011, 01:48 AM
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there's no reason to point out specifically that the food is vegan. i'm sure they'll figure it out or ask themselves once they see the vegan eating it.
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#5 Old 02-12-2011, 05:20 AM
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I would make sure she knows which items are safe for a vegan to eat, and I would tell the others only after they have raved about how good the food is. I had not set out to make an all-vegan meal when I had people over last week, but it was all vegan. We got to talking about the food itself, and I realized that everything I had made was plant foods. I told them this, and they were not the slightest bit bothered. They know I am lacto-ovo, and they had been praising the food.
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#6 Old 02-12-2011, 08:53 AM
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Yes, get in touch with her beforehand so she know she doesn't have to bring something and that she doesn't have to just eat salad. If other people are bringing stuff and you're not sure what's in it, you can just let her know that. It sounds like you have a delicious meal planned. It shouldn't be necessary to let everyone else know - except maybe the sausage, just so the meat eaters don't end up with vegan sausage when they might not want it.

I would be ecstatic of someone cooked a vegan meal like this for me! Way to go!
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#7 Old 02-12-2011, 09:28 AM
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You are being so thoughtful!

I'm staying with a friend's family and they have been making us amazing vegan food. It really is so nice to have sensitive and thoughtful hosts!
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#8 Old 02-13-2011, 09:42 PM
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Ok, thanks, everyone. I'm trying to eat a healtier diet (believe me, my eating habits are borderline atrocious), and had success in that my 5 year old grand niece has an egg allergy. We found out my brother in law has a soy allergy, so I'm working around that, too. A vegan meal just seems to be another challenge to face, and I'm up to it. Plus, our local libraries have a lot of vegan cookbooks, which is nice.

Anytime I think I'm perfect, I remember that my cousin lives on an island, and I've never walked over to visit her.
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#9 Old 02-13-2011, 09:56 PM
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If you have meat and nonmeat sausages you're going to have to point it out in front of everyone or people won't know why there are two types.

I'd just skip putting the tortured animal ones on the menu though.
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#10 Old 02-16-2011, 03:47 AM
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#11 Old 02-17-2011, 10:08 PM
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what's wrong w/ a naturally vegan meal that u have to warn people? that's how food was meant to be. guess it only gets sticky if you are using products that would normally not be veg*n like fake meats.
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#12 Old 02-18-2011, 01:03 AM
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what's wrong w/ a naturally vegan meal that u have to warn people? that's how food was meant to be. guess it only gets sticky if you are using products that would normally not be veg*n like fake meats.

Not necessarily. Pasta can be made from eggs, soups might have chicken stock or milk in them etc so I prefer if someone specifically tells me 'it's vegan'.
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#13 Old 02-18-2011, 01:24 AM
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I would make sure to tell the vegan girl privatly before hand - otherwise she wont know what she can eat and might feel ebarrased and awkward, and might not eat some things she can! I wouldn't tell everyone, because people can be really judgmental about things, and it might put them off your food before you've tried it. It will probally come up at some point, but I wouldn't mention it untill people have eaten.
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#14 Old 02-18-2011, 05:03 AM
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I would make sure to tell the vegan girl privatly before hand - otherwise she wont know what she can eat and might feel ebarrased and awkward, and might not eat some things she can! I wouldn't tell everyone, because people can be really judgmental about things, and it might put them off your food before you've tried it. It will probally come up at some point, but I wouldn't mention it untill people have eaten.

Exactly. I think this is the best way to handle the situation
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#15 Old 02-18-2011, 05:15 AM
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I guess it depends on people that are coming. I would tell it at the table around the friends I know who don't think that vegan=gross, impossible to eat, for weirdos etc. etc. etc. But if you feel that someone may be judgmental about the food tell it to her in private
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#16 Old 02-19-2011, 04:49 PM
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what's wrong w/ a naturally vegan meal that u have to warn people? that's how food was meant to be. guess it only gets sticky if you are using products that would normally not be veg*n like fake meats.

Nothing, per se. It's that I'm also working around a soy allergy, as well. And some of our further flung family members might not appreciate vegan food, they way I do. Most of the family doesn't mind vegetarian, or vegan food, but there've been a couple of incidents that didn't sit well with people.

Anytime I think I'm perfect, I remember that my cousin lives on an island, and I've never walked over to visit her.
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#17 Old 02-19-2011, 05:15 PM
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Nothing, per se. It's that I'm also working around a soy allergy, as well. And some of our further flung family members might not appreciate vegan food, they way I do. Most of the family doesn't mind vegetarian, or vegan food, but there've been a couple of incidents that didn't sit well with people.

I almost never cook with soy, at least not more than trace amounts. Mock meats are a rare treat for me.
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#18 Old 02-19-2011, 07:10 PM
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You're awesome Purp! You remind me of friend's parents I visited. They a huge batch of ribs for everyone, and when I found out I was vegan, instead of beign turned off or insulting me they felt sooooooo bad. Then his mom made me 3 jam sandwiches and a glass of OJ, LOL.
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#19 Old 02-20-2011, 12:04 AM
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You're awesome Purp! You remind me of friend's parents I visited. They a huge batch of ribs for everyone, and when I found out I was vegan, instead of beign turned off or insulting me they felt sooooooo bad. Then his mom made me 3 jam sandwiches and a glass of OJ, LOL.

Thanks. I would've asked and made, at least, a side dish or something you could eat. It sounds a lot nicer then, "Vegan? Here's your carrot stick while the rest of us eat a big, hearty, filling meal." That's just me, though.

Anytime I think I'm perfect, I remember that my cousin lives on an island, and I've never walked over to visit her.
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